Monday 31 July 2023

Giant Dinner Party Massacre (Session 207)

 SESSION 207: Enough Sneaking More Killing

Tired of being sneaky we turn things up to 11!

Day 127 Continues (12.20/ 0305): The commotion did stir up some attention. Across the court yard a door opened and a naked giant holding a whip appeared. The noise had stirred the wolf handler from his boudoir. It was Handsome Tom Arnold the Hill Giant. As far as hill giants go he was quite the looker. He set his eyes upon his chopped up pack and then our murderous mob. He turned to the bevy of giantesses still within the chamber and said something epic and heroic and took his club in his free hand. In his mind he was going to squash us but good he was much better with the ladies than the maths and figured three was a small number and easy to defeat. Our eleven hobos could do math, well at least the ones calling the shots could and knew they had the advantage. They just had to prevent the alarm from being called. Unbeknownst to them ole Handsome Tom could never say no to a chance to wow tha ladies with his assorted prowess’s. Tom charged into the also charging line of tanks picking Camillus to be his target. She saw him coming and set her massive sword as a bar. It probably should not have worked but H.T.A. was naked and at full mast. Ramming his ding dong into the wide and cold metal of Camillus’s two-handed sword created an immediate stop of forward motion and buggered up his club swing. Tom wanted to shout out but looking over his shoulder he saw his harem watching with awe, he winked and pretended nothing had happened to Tiny Tom – “Ha Ha!”. His bravado was about to lead him to the grave. Our tanks circled him and carved him to pieces. The giantesses fell back into the chamber, made swooned momentarily before falling to the floor after the emotional crush of seeing their hero chopped up and a well-timed psychological attack from our little purple mystic.

They all piled into the boudoir. Quickly tying up the currently comatose oversized party girls they then took a quick look around the chamber and one adjacent. Nothing immediately noted as valuable in the chamber and the second appeared to be slave quarters that was full of pallets and junk along with a stinky funk. There were two orks present that were in a convalescent state and were ignored.

There was also a set of double doors. These were presumed to lead to a large corridor that would lead back to the great hall. It was at this time that some war monger, probably Ding-We, had grown tired of sneaking about and suggested that they just ambush the revelers at Giantapolooza. Somewhat surprisingly this ‘guns blazing’ approach was wholly embraced and so they decided to get closer to limit any possible entanglements at the wrong time.

Moving down the corridor the came to a zag there were two doors and the way continued obviously to the hall as the racket grew louder with every step. They tried the door to the west just in case the one to the east connected to the great hall. The east door lead the kitchen workroom that then flowed, in an open concept sorta way, into the kitchen proper. Lots of activity could be heard and smelt to substantiate Bunny’s reconnaissance. There was also another door right beside the entry one it lead to a storage room containing an assortment of provisions and a stairwell going down. They were about to move on when a dozen orks entered the chamber each carrying messy serving shields. They hurriedly moved through the workroom and into the kitchen. The storage room seemed as good of a place as any to prepare for the assault on the party. Potions, scrolls, spells and such were distributed, drank and decrypted.

“Hobo-bots Roll Out!” back into the main corridor they approached the great hall ready to rumble but then there was a gaff. The kitchen was directly across from the hall and there was no door and we knew that it was fully operational. A cone of cold was blasted into the kitchen freezing everyone and everything – orks, wee-ogres and giants now popsicles. They turned to the double doors leading to the great hall. The tanks lined up and spellcasters and slingers readied behind. They opened the doors.

The giants were not expecting unwelcome company and did not immediately take notice of the intruders. It was a very large hall, perhaps great even, a 120’ across by 80’ deep. In the middle was a roaring fire pit being tended by a group of ogres cooking a whole ox, two sheep and four pigs. Around the pit were arranged four very long tables packed with giants- singing, talking, laughing, shouting, arguing, wrestling and joking. The head table which was higher than the others to accommodate some even larger guests a trio of stone giants and cloud giant. Just as the cloud giant’s brow wrinkled when he looked upon the hobo mob the attack was launched. A large portion of the chamber fell into darkness as bolts of electricity and a wave psionic devastation swept through the chamber. The ambush was paying out very well and the hobos still had the jump on the giants. Once more raining down powerful and destructive magicks. From somewhere in the chamber a huge cave bear had been laying low. It followed its nose and can slamming into the front-line before any of the giants could orientate. The bear held our death dealers at the precipice of the chamber long enough for the giants to counterstrike. Unfortunately, they were only in their dress rags and without weapons. If they had been smarter as a whole they would have grabbed some serving knives at least. Wave after wave came the hobos they were holding the line but then attrition kicked in. Camillus was hammered into the ground with a violently broken arm and leg. Then Steve had his arm shattered by a giant foot, bones don’t stand up well to giant kicks. The two fighters sucked back potions as Sloth and Boris struggled to hold the giants back. Boris once more was the recipient of ‘wack-a-dwarf’, a fist hammered down upon his head once more crushing his body down to a more compact and gnome-like height. He was down another 5”, it seems unlikely he will survive another similar blow. Steve and Camillus were back up in the nick of time as another wave of hill giants appeared (it would be the last) and something else was going down. The cloud and stone giants attempted an attack from behind after arming themselves via the kitchen. They saw a line of sorcerers (stupid mirror images) and proceeded to smite illusions. This gave Nara a chance to stupefy one of the Stoners and Saff to unleash another frost wand blast. The giants were already injured and the turn of events was enough for the cloud giant to let out a curse before once more evacuating as his moral faltered. The two remaining stoners did not see the writing on the wall and provided excellent cover for the escape before being demolished. The battle in the great hall of the hill giant chieftain had come to an end. The pile of corpses were a wall that would require scaling to enter the chamber. The place was in shambles. Broken furniture, food, drink, blood, corpses and spot fires.

As the smoke settles and a breath is taken we wonder if a big enough ruckus was made this time.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 265939 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 240055 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 251414 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 200035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 211197 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 331087 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)                         

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 425762 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 219546 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 157909 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 157284 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 95886 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 55787 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 53918 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 38738 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  70711 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Elapsed Campaign Time

575 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Seven when we ask the questions:

I wonder what the escaped cloud giant thinks of our hobos?

Has the alarm been triggered yet?

Now what, is it time to burn the joint down?

Tale of the Tape

Camillus, Steve & Boris all cracked and shattered under the brute force of real giant strength.

 

Exploration

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Hill giants (26) 

Stone Giants (2) 

Ogres (8) 

Kitchen staff 

Cave bear 

LOOT

None

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