Wednesday, 29 June 2022

Girls on Vacation (Session 118a-f)

 SESSION 118a: Girls on Vacation 

        Sidekicks Assemble and Delve into the Hyqueous Vaults

        I should have called this 'Girls Get Wet' that would have generated some interest.

----Note: it seems that a chunk of this adventure was not recorded. I seem to recollect that we were sneaking in little sessions beyond weekly/ biweekly and I was never able to catch up. The CCP virus was also running rampant so lets just say - Fuck the Commies! As such we are missing write-ups for episodes 2 - 5. The entirety of the recorded adventure is below. 

    Session 1 (a)-      

      Bunny and Nara staycation day 1, it all started out well enough and Bunny was yucking it up with Brett and Jermaine at the inn before log. Nara was off doing stupid poor people stuff but she did show up eventually. Bunny was liking this and then Muzzah showed up with three shadowy figures behind. He never shows up – ugh. 

“You, your one of them. You owe me big time now I have something for you to do and you will take these three mooks with you since you left them as statues at my doorstep. Oh take this thing and bring me some useful stuff back. Oh, the clock is ticking I want this done tomorrow before some other scumbags loot the joint.”

    A thousand years ago, a nation ruled by hydromancers constructed these vaults for research, worship, and ritual disposal of their dead. Eventually their culture vanished, the complex lay forgotten for centuries, other creatures found foothold in the vaults—some entering from the land, and some scrabbling upward from watery caverns further below. Now, the Hyqueous Vaults stand ripe for exploration by a party sufficiently strong and sneaky to wrest its treasures from the myriad monsters lairing within. 

    Muzzah was then off. We then met Biff Bartley the half orc, ‘BOB’ the vow of silence ninja and Felix Ignatius Hemlock the investigator. Bunny had some angry thoughts towards Muzzah and then realized she didn’t actually have a real job so shit like this is bound to happen…bullshit. These three idiots seemed like there were an alright bunch. God knows what the thing was but there a map and the joint wasn’t too far away, treasure awaits!

    The journey was pleasant and we arrived at a clearing, the reverse headwaters of a creek, in about 5 hours. The creek flowed into a cavern and there were a couple of old fire rings outside. Searching them we discovered an iron key wrapped in parchment that had “ring of fireballs” scribbled on it.     

    We waded into the cavern, the waters were chill but not cold and about 2’ deep. Wet but not rotten. The cavern was 20’ wide with head room. After snaking our way in a 100 or so feet we came to a dock with a couple of small boats moored. Not what we had expected. The stone dock stands 5 ft above water level. Two flat- bottomed boats are each tied to one of four stone moorings equally spaced along the dock’s edge. A pair of poles rest on stone supports along the north wall. Each boat seats 4 passengers, stands 1-2 polers, The north boat has wet seats, a half-chewed fish, and a message carved in the floor (in goblin): “pepropity of red bek’s”. After checking things out we climbed from the water and discovered a peep-holed door with ‘knock first’ inscribed- so we did. The hole opened and we were greeted by Zirrind who directed us to go to another door around the way for service. We agreed and moved along. As usual we were distracted by an alternative direction. This lead to an ambush by eel-like men and some treasure. Afterwards we got around to going to the previously mentioned door. Welcome to Redbeck’s Most Awesome Shop! Redbeck is a giant troll with a bunch of goblin hench-beings. We did a bunch of negotiating and ended up buying a bunch of crap (including another of the strange rod things) and rented three goblin guides- Jimmy, Timmy and Pimmy. We left Redbeck’s and went deeper into the complex. Things were going alright until we were ambushed by the dreaded Pyrohydra! It was very very close to a TPK but some whining lead to benevolence from above. The ambush chamber had a secret chamber that contained what is known as a freezer to more advanced races. Inside were a whole bunch of vials containing frozen contents. Some were potions others were odd, thank ZOD for labels. Pressing on we found the hydra’s filthy lair and a buried door. After some looting and digging we were able to open the door, that revealed a corridor. Next we came to a thick, 8 ft square, black obsidian door has veins of marbled gold and recessed hinges. Its 8-ton bulk required an effort to hold it open, as it tries to pulls itself closed. It opened to a blank wall, but an inscription runs along the inside of the door frame, in a secret language: 

aftEr a haRd fall, knock On the wall.
The careful may find, if oPen of miNd,
Lore. sage but hiddeN—perHaps forbidden

in fault: the lOng lOst tenebRous vault. 

    Chewing on whatever the hell that meant we moved on eventually coming to another door. As a matter of fact it was another false door. Waste of time it would seem. We turned back to return to the hydra lair as this seemed to be dead end. The door was sealed and locked, did we hear something when we opened that second false door? Trapped behind a door after a day of questionable success, sure hope we don’t die here. 

     Session 2 (b)Stuck behind a door. More fun than being trapped in a pit but not by much. It gave us more than enough time to reflect on why we were here…

A centuries-old map leads to a mysterious cliffside complex, rumored to be flooded, and supposedly holding a dead necromancer’s fortune. Muzzah believes the arm-length metal implement accompanying the map must be some sort of key. The complex stands ripe for exploration by a bunch of murderhobos sufficiently strong and sneaky to wrest any treasures and deliver knowledge, to him, from the depths within.

    Sessions 'c' thru 'f'

  A lot of good stuff lost to the mists of time. I do however have chapter titles...

Time for a nano-review: Hyqueous Vaults is a fun adventure keep it up Guy & Company. I would simply recommend that DMs give it a read through and get the backend sorted in their mind prior to engagement. 

    c - Living High After the First Pass

    d - I Roll the Egg (this was a hilarious session, credit to my brother for what was his first time playing)

    e - Somewhere Down the Crazy River

    f - Wrap Up? - Nope. We did not wrap it up. Moving a book was very.. trying.

Join us for Session 118g when records are once more kept and Bunny ends up in another wacky adventure.

ROLECALL

Bunny the Raconteur (T8) 118716 xp <160001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Sadhaka Girl (P5) 19077 xp <33200> +5% CRT 1d6/I

Biff Bartley (HO3) 5500 <7000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Wall Runner (N3) 5000<5600> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the Gumshoe (I3) 3800<5001> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Elapsed Campaign Time

246 days at beginning of session (10 days behind the main party) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Eighteen ‘B’ when we ask the questions:

Are we going to die here?

Are these goblins actually good guides?

Do they know what they are doing?

Do we know what we are doing?

Tale of the Tape

The shadow of death is not far

KILLS

Eel Men (5)

5-Headed Pyrohydra

LOOT

Gems: 25 gp, 75 gp, 250 gp

1500 sp

Puzzle rod (bought)

Magic Broadsword

Silver Unholy symbol 50 gpà30 gp metal

halberd with silver-shod head (90 gp)

3 holy water
3 unholy water
2 living-but-dormant yellow mold samples
1 living-but-dormant brown mold sample
1 dust of a slain vampire
1 insinuative blade venom (2 doses)
1 clear gaseous ingestive poison 
1 potion of invisibility
1 potion of sweet water (2 doses) 

1 potion of treasure finding
1 potion of stone giant strength
1 pot of marvelous pigments


Tuesday, 28 June 2022

Barred Passage in Barrowmaze (Session 121)

 SESSION 121: Cleaning Up and Falling Back

            We went to door number two first. The door was locked and trapped (poison needle) Rammer was in top performance and avoided death. Inside sitting on a pedestal in the center of the room is a white book edged in gold. Not willing to just jump on the thing, it was decided to see what was behind door #1. Another poison needle trap much the same as the first door. Ramrod took care of this as well. Inside this chamber a locked metal box, wrapped in chains and padlocked, sat on a pedestal in the center of this room. The padlock is not trapped but the box possessed a poison needle trap (Ramrod went three for three). 

    

    The box contained a valuable arcane volume that is the color of the blackest midnight. Caution ruled the day. First Ding-We ascertained that both tomes were magical. Second Carla determined the aura of both. The white book detected of Chaos while the one in the lock box of Law. After some reflection the situation was figured out. Bad guys hate good things and therefore the box, chains and padlock. The two tomes were librams (books of knowledge) of white and black magic. Ding-We got a stiffy, another immensely powerful source of knowledge has fallen into his clutches. “Well I’m really tired perhaps we should head back to town maybe have a bit of a vacation, wouldn’t that be nice?”. So they packed up their toys and prepared to move towards the harpy hole as it was the closest known exit. This was a good time to be ambushed by cultists. Fire-breathing goats, skeletons and the aforementioned cultists. 


            They all died horrible deaths at the hands of our filthy hobos. We then scaled the walls of the harpy lair to return back to the surface. Ding-We had a theory, so before we jumped back into the swamp we searched for a presumptive exit from the mega-tomb. The searching led us to The White Marble Mausoleum (Sealed): Two columns of six white marble pillars, some standing, and some in ruins, line the entrance to a white stone mausoleum. In addition, six beautiful stone statues of exquisite detail and craftsmanship can be found in the immediate vicinity of the mausoleum (a dwarf, elf, centaur, two human tomb- robbers, and a halfling). Several have been pierced by arrows. Unlike many of the other mounds, the door to this mausoleum is locked, made of bronze with verdigris, and is magical in nature. The door appears to have a scarab- shaped lock-like mechanism. The door could not be picked, bashed, or opened magically. There is simply the keyhole - shaped like a scarab with its wings extended. An obstacle for now.


            The hobos bagged three of the statues, just in case they were maybe something more, and then made haste back across the swamp to Helix. The journey was without event – Booo.

 

 

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Matriarch of TMB (C8) 151229 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 141668 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d10/III

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 137850 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Champion (D7) 106945 xp <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound:

Raul the Traveler (MD7) 108695 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d10/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Champion (D7) 126065 xp +10% <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 11 teeth

            Mental Illness: Unhinged (10% chance of lunatic behaviour)                                  

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Enchanter (W8) 254684 xp +10% <320001> CRT 1d8/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate

Bunny the Raconteur (T8) 140194 xp <160001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Pilferer (T7) 71141 xp +5% <80001> CRT 1d16/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 118035 xp <130001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 109690 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Siddha Girl (P6) 42205 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

 

RESERVES

empty              

Elapsed Campaign Time

259 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Twenty-Two when we ask the questions:

Where are the girls?

What about these statues?

Tale of the Tape

Stone statues of a dwarf, Elf and a Halfling

KILLS

Goats of Gehenna (2) 750

Cultists of Orcus (6) 126

Skeletons (3) 39

LOOT

Libram of Black Magic

Libram of White Magic

Monday, 27 June 2022

Small Parts Isolated and Destroyed (Session 120)

 SESSION 120: Small Parts Isolated and Destroyed (19Aug20)

            We quickly learned that some of the gargoyles were indeed not statues. We could not determine how many of the twenty were actually creatures and so a tactical retreat was decided to be the preferred course of action. RUN! They did not pursue but we did get a few magic missiles up our butts. Their cackling laughter haunted as we returned to the main corridor and pressed on eastward. Next was a large cylindrical chamber that was the site of a collapse sometime in the ancient past. 40’ up the chamber opened to the surface and was bathed in the glow of moon light. To the north and south there were corridors and to the east a great set of double doors. The floor was covered in rubble, earth, bones and offal. Needless to say the smell suggested this was a lair. When harpies began to emerge from all over the walls we realized that it was a packed house. Combat ensued. As the chamber above filled with harpies and giant vultures it was realized that it would be a stellar time to release a fireball from the ring of FBs. This was a good choice until burning bodies began raining down on us. This ruckus attracted the attention of this faction’s leader, Vultrix, from beyond the double doors. In they charged, perhaps they could have timed things better as they met with a bolt from Ding-We. Our Hobos blew off some serious magicks and this quickly annihilated the Harpies. Feeling good we moved onto looting. Vultrix had a fine sword and shield but beyond these items actual loot was a bit thin – vile harpies! 

            After a brief rest we pressed on, down the corridor to the south. We quickly came upon two bricked up passageways and a door. We took the easy way, the door. A small chamber with a few dust covered clay pots and a ceiling covered in amber jellies. Was it worth it? Maybe the pots are full of gold or maybe they are full of dust. As the jellies began shooting mucus at us we decided to fall back and smash down the bricked up walls. There will definitely be good treasure beyond. To save time and maximize a silence spell we started hammering both walls down. It was all going fine until we opened the one to the west far enough to eat lightning bolt, from an entombed necrolyte of Nergal, that was quickly followed by ten crypt knights. We were in trouble and as such it was realized that the final charge in the ring of fireballs needed to be discharged. This was a good call as it incapacitated the necro and crippled the knights. Turning the battle in our favour and leading to victory. Beyond was a research laboratory, now somewhat aflame. Most of the equipment was destroyed by the blast but luckily the actual treasure, a spell book of new incantations, survived. There were also two singed doors in the laboratory. We decided to grab a breath in case something came tumbling out of the other smashed down barricade or one of these doors. 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Matriarch of TMB (C8) 150173 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 140612 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d10/III

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 136794 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Champion (D7) 105889 xp <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound:

Raul the Traveler (MD7) 107639 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d10/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Champion (D7) 125009 xp +10% <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 11 teeth

            Mental Illness: Unhinged (10% chance of lunatic behaviour)                                  

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Enchanter (W8) 253628 xp +10% <320001> CRT 1d8/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate

Bunny the Raconteur (T8) 140194 xp <160001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Pilferer (T7) 70085 xp +5% <80001> CRT 1d16/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 116979 xp <130001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 108634 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Siddha Girl (P6) 42205 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

 

RESERVES

empty              

Elapsed Campaign Time

259 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Twenty-One when we ask the questions:

What evil lurks through the smashed wall?

What evil lurks beyond the two doors?

Where is that payload that we can smell?

Are we Hobos or Cowards?

Tale of the Tape

KILLS

Spectral Dead (5)  

Barrow Harpies (15) 

Barrow Harpy Soldiers (2)

Vultrix 

Giant Vultures (5) 

Amber Jellies (3)  retreated

Necrolyte of Nergal 

Crypt Knights (10) 

LOOT

3922 ep  1461

5367 sp    536

Longsword +1 Flametongue

Shield +2 Screaming Skull

Spell book: Animate statue, Zozmir’s Stentorian Shout, Baltron’s Effusive Bloodboil