Wednesday, 24 June 2026

Dithering about the 'Gulch (Session 335)

SESSION 335: Digging Around the Gulch 

Where we learn Versamage is a much better lead negotiator than Green-Girl and the One-Eyed Drooling Stump for some unknown reason…


(Versamage making everything look good.)

 

 

Day 853 Continued (Dry Gulch): They thought their triumphant arrival in Dry Gulch would attract some attention but it did not. It seems a couple of wagons being driven by weirdos ain’t all that unusual in a trade town even if it was full of armaments. Dolec and Charles caught sight of a city guard and rode up. The chap was good enough to give them the lay of the land and point them towards the better inn – The Travellers Rest. They went around the town and parked the wagons in the field directly behind the inn, they were not the only caravan. Carla assigned Biff to head the guard the wagon team, “Sure Bobby and I like it outside better anyways”. BoB had something to say about this but she doesn’t talk… Inside Carla and company booked some quality rooms for at least a week and got some top notch feed lined up. The evening passed with food and drink.

 

Day 854 (Dry Gulch): Clear. After getting the run around from the merchant’s guild they tried across the lane. They had more success at the Guild of Blades not only did they hire some mooks (two squads) they conversed with Mistress Gundrid whom appreciated their strong arms. She was busy but offered her assistant to help with selling goods to the Merchants Guild. The guild was pretty tough on our ‘new’ traders and offered 65% value for the load of weapons. It was not great financially but opened doors politically. The rest of the day was a nothing burger.

 

Day 855 (Dry Gulch): Rain. Back to the Guild of Blades to ask Gundrid if she could help facilitate a council meeting so they could really get down to business. She thought she could but also suggested visiting Master Thyber at the Tower of Wisdom, “right over there. Get in his good books that should be both easy and advantageous. Tell him about what you have been up to. He loves information that he can squirrel away. Get your meeting quick I bet”. 

The stone tower was really just over there. Cross the lane behind the Merchants Gild and right beside the incessantly noisy smelters and forge. A wrap on the door later they were brought inside the dead silent tower by an apprentice, “Magic really does fix lots of life’s little problems” she chuckled. The command team were seated and told that their timing was good as Master Thyber was between classes and had time for tea.

The Archimage was a keen and helpful fellow. He agreed to arrange a council session for the following day for the simple consideration of hiring one of his apprentices to gain more life experiences, perhaps even in the forgotten tunnels below our very feet.. The wizard then hobbled off to his next “class session”. Back to the Travellers Rest to do exactly that.

 

Day 856 (Dry Gulch): Damn cold. In the morning a messenger arrived to confirm the council meeting in the afternoon. Boris was a little bored so he and the boys waddled down to the Guild of Blades to talk about the happiness in murder and perhaps a bit of sparring. They had a good time and the toothless dwarf somehow manage to recruit a ranger named Gord.

At the council meeting Carla, with the help of the real lady- Versamage, represented the interests of Lord Stevie of Gormandia and the imminent Lady Bunny of a place to be named in the future but is right around there as well. Six of the seven council members were present. It seems that the Guild of Silence were not only quiet but out of sight. The other council members were receptive to ‘The Big Plan!’. 

Where we hit a snag was Carla’s most unexpected insistence to immediately begin upgrades on the ‘Royal Road’. Boris, as usual, was at her side to provide extra saliva and keep all others well back to avoid any spray.

This ‘interest’ brought up matters of territorial boundaries. With all the gold being discovered along with these nascent domains located well into the Basilisk Hills (almost 60 miles away)  conference with the lead city-states of the Zelaia Confederacy (Layge, Shala) was required. For folks so far away, why are you so close? 

Versamage attempted to diffuse the geologically based proximal concerns but could not trivialize Boris’s one-eyed leering and abundant seepage of mouth gravy to make it not look questionable. With all the gold being discovered along with these nascent domains well into the Basilisk Hills conference with the lead city-states of the Zelaia Confederacy (Layge, Shala). 

Conveniently, Carla has spent the last few days acting more like a power hungry one-legged wizard than a Bringer of the Rhythm and had hired a squad of riders not because they were needed simply because she could. How people change.

The meeting was adjourned until the Windriders returned in two weeks or so.

 

 

The CR-Team: Carla, Dolec Da, Charles in Charge, Chung-Li, Lady Versamage, Boris, Katre, Biff & BoB

 

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 384033 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 382525 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 127113 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BoB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 89220 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Charles in Charge the Champion (F7) 91388 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 85075 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Chung-Li the Elven Champion Sorcerer (E7) 140215 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Lady Versamage Knight Errant (K6) 66802 xp <85000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Katre Elf-Girl and Swordsman Conjuror (E4) 16959 xp <32000> +0% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Thief - Recovering from death (yet again) 846 start

Elapsed Campaign Time

841 – C-Team (16.23- 0703 The Doom of Cthedrak)

853 – Carla-Team (at Dry Gulch)   

Domain Days

Gormandia: 15 (Start 838)

Bunnland:?

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Thirty-Six when we ask the questions:

Why does Carla do so many things like Ding-We when he isn’t around?

What will the big city-states have to say?

Are we going to end some mooks to explore the undercity?

Will Versamage not demand compensation for her high end works?

Is there a plan or just impulse?

Tale of the Tape

Gord the ranger recruited

Laaxe’s Lightfoots recruited – 1 squad light foot veteran 150 gp 

Windriders recruited 150 gp: enroute east to Layge carrying message of MurderHobos Inc’s intentions

KILLS

none

LOOT

None




Monday, 25 May 2026

(Back) Into the Pit (Session 334)

SESSION 334: The Thing in the Pit REDUX 

Run away. Regroup. Retry. Don’t be shocked if this is a rinse and repeat sorta thing.

 

Day 841 Continued II (Green Dome à15.22 0703): Bimbles do not like this not one bit, nope. When in doubt return to camp. And so they sunk back to base. Good news, Nara was there waiting for them. Bad news, they needed some further assistance. Message was sent via psychic power or something. Ding-We and Sloth would be coming tomorrow. He was all grumpy not because he was actually doing anything beyond porking stable girls but because he had to do something other than getting porked by stable girls. Ah, the burden of being rich and famous…


-->imagine a porked stable girl here, if stupid blogger played nice with my Mac... would have been.. something.

 

Day 842 (15.22 0703)Clear. Not much today. Dinger, Sloth and a bunch of troops show up they yell at Bimbles and Raul for not getting shit done and then leave. Tomorrow the dorks would take another run at the demonic thing in the basement. 

 

Day 843 (15.22 0703à Green Domeà Camp): Clear. Against the Thing in the Basement part deux. 

All sorts of preparations were enacted this time. 

Big league magic enacted. 

The bugger seemed not to have moved an inch in the last two days it continued to simply wait. 

The gang approached the final steps before the precipice. 

It spoke once more in its crawling across broken glass voice, “I told you I was hired to do a job and only my lunch break had spared you horrendous suffering. Well, I am now back on the clock”. Nara was the new variable that it was not ready for. 

Ding-We had enlightened them to the intricacies of ‘Magic Jar’. Nara, the wild card, acted first using her mental powers to explode the demon’s gem. “What the fuck! Oh now I’m actually mad”, It then faded from the Prime Material plane. Around now the shenanigans began. The demon traversed the Ethereal plane to wallop the gang whom huddled inside a magic resistant shell. Unfortunately the protection also deactivated all magic within making our gang very easy targets for the demon’s attacks. The abomination was freely toying with the team. Bimbles saw the writing on the wall, “RUN AWAY!”. This time the demon pursued them to the second to last door before breaking down in it’s own form of sickening laughter, “You know where to find me meat… ha”.

Our hobos went ‘Wee wee wee’ all the way back to camp.

 


Still waiting for a challenge to earn my pay” --> yup would have been another dynamic image.. imagine imagine imagine.

 

 

The C (clearing)-Team: Bimbles, Raul, Camillus, Sasha, Willy, Herbert, Skullcrusher, Nara & Azucar

 

ROLECALL 

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 349007 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 281339 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

 

            The Henchmen

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 130426 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

Missing three teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  62068 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  37275 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Herbert the Master Gnome Trickster (G4) 17464 xp <30000> +5% CRT 1d8/III 

Skull-Crusher the Hellebardier of Crom (A4) 10438 xp <12000> +5% CRT 1d8/III

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 84319 xp <120000> +5% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

empty

Elapsed Campaign Time

841 – C-Team (16.23- 0703 The Doom of Cthedrak)

853 – Carla-Team (12.24/0407 Road to Dry Gulch)   

Domain Days

Gormandia: 15 (Start 838)

Bunnland:?

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Thirty-Five when we ask the questions:

What is that Thing in the basement?

What is that Thing doing in the basement?

What are we going to do with the Thing in the basement?

Was it summoned by one of the two dead adventurers?

Was it bound and if it has escaped what can be done?

Tale of the Tape

Nobody dead yet, more luck than anything.

KILLS

none

LOOT

haha

Wednesday, 29 April 2026

To The Gulch We Go (Session 333)

SESSION 333: What Ho, Dry Gulch-oh! 

Time for the final leg of the journey. 

 

Day 849 Continued (12.24 0407/ 11.24 0407): Still cloudy. Carla finished up the field services and the gang got the caravan rolling once more. Pressed on the remainder of the day with no interactions.

 

Day 850 (11.24 0407 à 9.25 0407): Mild rain all day. Early afternoon tracks were noted in the mud. A sizable group of apes, or big monkey-man-like-things had moved down the road for a half mile before crossing over and heading Northish into the bush. The gang rode on for a few more hours before camping.

 

Day 851 (9.25 0407 à 7.26 0705): Rains persisted from the previous day. Now the road was getting mucky. Notably slowing down travel. The distraction of constantly keeping the wagon from getting stuck was a very useful way to lay the ground work for an ambush. Late afternoon in a particularly muddy low spot a sizable orc war party awaited our arrival hiding in the bushes flanking both sides of the road. The hobos were perforated with two large volleys of arrows from the orc horde that exceeded fifty. Even when well armored shear volume gets the job done. We were bleeding before we had drawn a blade. Carla saw an opportunity to unleash an insect plague upon half the beastman host. They were demoralized and easily nuked by a fireball from Chung-Li. The other half had engaged with our fighters, trying to overrun with superior numbers. BoB used her elevation atop the wagon to systematically snipe orc after orc, each shot a kill. The orcs were not long for this world but give them credit, they got their hits in and a couple of the bosses escaped to seek vengeance another day. The pay was marginal – thanks Orcs! The remainder of the day was simply fighting the muddy road.

 

Day 852 (7.26 0705 à 6.27 0706): Cloudy. The road was a soupy mess even though the rains had stopped. Travel was greatly reduced but at least the day was uneventful. However, the evening brought a surprise. A roving manticore caught site of our camp and decided to assess the probability of an easy meal.


From the darkness it launched volley after volley of tail spikes making a mess of things. We never saw it though, tricky bugger it was. As quickly as it had attacked it was gone, not to be lured into direct combat. Perhaps on another day.

 

Day 853 (6.27 à Dry Gulch): Cloudy as we transitioned out of the Basilisk Hills into the plains of Zelaia. In the distance lay Dry Gulch. 

Dry Gulch is nestled in a crescent of grassy hill country. The flat land at the base of the hills in this hex is all cultivated farmland, and more people live and cultivate crops outside of the town proper than live within. There are no rivers and only a few smaller creeks that gradually wend their way south, but the hex is blessed with a number of springs, and warm, moist air blowing up from the Silver Sea to the south ensures that this location sees plenty of rain. 

A single road — the remnants of the Royal Road that once ran east to Liwil and west to Irmar (the capital city of the Skeldrenes, now in ruins) — runs through Dry Gulch. The western branch runs south of the ruins of Irmar (in Hex 54.46) and on to Layge. Trade between Dry Gulch and Layge is frequent, with caravans making the journey weekly, giving the ruins of Irmar a wide berth; trade between Dry Gulch and Liwil (see Basilisk Hills Hexcrawl) is less frequent, with caravans traveling between the two roughly every other month. These eastward caravans will no doubt grow more frequent with the discovery of large gold deposits near Liwil, and the gradual re-opening of trade routes further east. 

 

The CR-Team: Carla, Dolec Da, Charles in Charge, Chung-Li, Lady Versamage, Boris, Katre, Biff & BoB

 


ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 384033 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 382525 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 127113 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BoB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 89220 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Charles in Charge the Champion (F7) 91388 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 85075 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Chung-Li the Elven Champion Sorcerer (E7) 140215 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Lady Versamage Knight Errant (K6) 66802 xp <85000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Katre Elf-Girl and Swordsman Conjuror (E4) 16959 xp <32000> +0% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman - Recovering from death (yet again) 

Elapsed Campaign Time (start of session)

841 – Bimbles-Team (16.23 The Doom of Cthedrak)

849 – Carla-Team (12.24/0407 Road to Dry Gulch)   

Domain Days

Gormandia: 11 (Start 838)

Bunnland:?doing something or the other?

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Thirty-Four when we ask the questions:

What’s going on with Team Bimbles?

Or maybe, what opportunity does the Gulch hold for our empire builders?

Or howabouts, what murder lurks in the dark corners of Dry Gulch?

Or could it be, what mysteries do the lands west of the Basilisk Hills hold?

Or just possibly, where the heck is the Land of a Thousand Towers?

Tale of the Tape

Not much to say on this front.

KILLS

Orcs (51)

LOOT

Gems small assorted (30) 10 gp = 300 gp