SESSION 118a: Girls on Vacation
Sidekicks Assemble and Delve into the Hyqueous Vaults
I should have called this 'Girls Get Wet' that would have generated some interest.
----Note: it seems that a chunk of this adventure was not recorded. I seem to recollect that we were sneaking in little sessions beyond weekly/ biweekly and I was never able to catch up. The CCP virus was also running rampant so lets just say - Fuck the Commies! As such we are missing write-ups for episodes 2 - 5. The entirety of the recorded adventure is below.
Session 1 (a)-
Bunny and Nara staycation day 1, it all started out well enough and Bunny was yucking it up with Brett and Jermaine at the inn before log. Nara was off doing stupid poor people stuff but she did show up eventually. Bunny was liking this and then Muzzah showed up with three shadowy figures behind. He never shows up – ugh.
“You, your one of them. You owe me big time now I have something for you to do and you will take these three mooks with you since you left them as statues at my doorstep. Oh take this thing and bring me some useful stuff back. Oh, the clock is ticking I want this done tomorrow before some other scumbags loot the joint.”
A thousand years ago, a nation ruled by hydromancers constructed these vaults for research, worship, and ritual disposal of their dead. Eventually their culture vanished, the complex lay forgotten for centuries, other creatures found foothold in the vaults—some entering from the land, and some scrabbling upward from watery caverns further below. Now, the Hyqueous Vaults stand ripe for exploration by a party sufficiently strong and sneaky to wrest its treasures from the myriad monsters lairing within.
Muzzah was then off. We then met Biff Bartley the half orc, ‘BOB’ the vow of silence ninja and Felix Ignatius Hemlock the investigator. Bunny had some angry thoughts towards Muzzah and then realized she didn’t actually have a real job so shit like this is bound to happen…bullshit. These three idiots seemed like there were an alright bunch. God knows what the thing was but there a map and the joint wasn’t too far away, treasure awaits!
The journey was pleasant and we arrived at a clearing, the reverse headwaters of a creek, in about 5 hours. The creek flowed into a cavern and there were a couple of old fire rings outside. Searching them we discovered an iron key wrapped in parchment that had “ring of fireballs” scribbled on it.
We waded into the cavern, the waters were chill but not cold and about 2’ deep. Wet but not rotten. The cavern was 20’ wide with head room. After snaking our way in a 100 or so feet we came to a dock with a couple of small boats moored. Not what we had expected. The stone dock stands 5 ft above water level. Two flat- bottomed boats are each tied to one of four stone moorings equally spaced along the dock’s edge. A pair of poles rest on stone supports along the north wall. Each boat seats 4 passengers, stands 1-2 polers, The north boat has wet seats, a half-chewed fish, and a message carved in the floor (in goblin): “pepropity of red bek’s”. After checking things out we climbed from the water and discovered a peep-holed door with ‘knock first’ inscribed- so we did. The hole opened and we were greeted by Zirrind who directed us to go to another door around the way for service. We agreed and moved along. As usual we were distracted by an alternative direction. This lead to an ambush by eel-like men and some treasure. Afterwards we got around to going to the previously mentioned door. Welcome to Redbeck’s Most Awesome Shop! Redbeck is a giant troll with a bunch of goblin hench-beings. We did a bunch of negotiating and ended up buying a bunch of crap (including another of the strange rod things) and rented three goblin guides- Jimmy, Timmy and Pimmy. We left Redbeck’s and went deeper into the complex. Things were going alright until we were ambushed by the dreaded Pyrohydra! It was very very close to a TPK but some whining lead to benevolence from above. The ambush chamber had a secret chamber that contained what is known as a freezer to more advanced races. Inside were a whole bunch of vials containing frozen contents. Some were potions others were odd, thank ZOD for labels. Pressing on we found the hydra’s filthy lair and a buried door. After some looting and digging we were able to open the door, that revealed a corridor. Next we came to a thick, 8 ft square, black obsidian door has veins of marbled gold and recessed hinges. Its 8-ton bulk required an effort to hold it open, as it tries to pulls itself closed. It opened to a blank wall, but an inscription runs along the inside of the door frame, in a secret language:
aftEr a haRd fall, knock On the wall.
The careful may find, if oPen of miNd,
Lore. sage but hiddeN—perHaps forbidden
in fault: the lOng lOst tenebRous vault.
Chewing on whatever the hell that meant we moved on eventually coming to another door. As a matter of fact it was another false door. Waste of time it would seem. We turned back to return to the hydra lair as this seemed to be dead end. The door was sealed and locked, did we hear something when we opened that second false door? Trapped behind a door after a day of questionable success, sure hope we don’t die here.
Session 2 (b)-
Session 2 (b)-Stuck behind a door. More fun than being trapped in a pit but not by much. It gave us more than enough time to reflect on why we were here…
A centuries-old map leads to a mysterious cliffside complex, rumored to be flooded, and supposedly holding a dead necromancer’s fortune. Muzzah believes the arm-length metal implement accompanying the map must be some sort of key. The complex stands ripe for exploration by a bunch of murderhobos sufficiently strong and sneaky to wrest any treasures and deliver knowledge, to him, from the depths within.
Sessions 'c' thru 'f'
A lot of good stuff lost to the mists of time. I do however have chapter titles...
Time for a nano-review: Hyqueous Vaults is a fun adventure keep it up Guy & Company. I would simply recommend that DMs give it a read through and get the backend sorted in their mind prior to engagement.
c - Living High After the First Pass
d - I Roll the Egg (this was a hilarious session, credit to my brother for what was his first time playing)
e - Somewhere Down the Crazy River
f - Wrap Up? - Nope. We did not wrap it up. Moving a book was very.. trying.
Join us for Session 118g when records are once more kept and Bunny ends up in another wacky adventure.
Bunny the Raconteur (T8) 118716 xp <160001> +10% CRT 1d20/II
Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand
Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Sadhaka Girl (P5) 19077 xp <33200> +5% CRT 1d6/I
Biff Bartley (HO3) 5500 <7000> +5% CRT 1d12/II
‘BOB’ the Wall Runner (N3) 5000<5600> +5% CRT 1d12/II
Felix Ignatius Hemlock the Gumshoe (I3) 3800<5001> +5% CRT 1d12/II
Elapsed Campaign Time
246 days at beginning of session (10 days behind the main party)
Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Eighteen ‘B’ when we ask the questions:
Are we going to die here?
Are these goblins actually good guides?
Do they know what they are doing?
Do we know what we are doing?
Tale of the Tape
The shadow of death is not far
Eel Men (5)
Gems: 25 gp, 75 gp, 250 gp
Puzzle rod (bought)
Silver Unholy symbol 50 gpà30 gp metal
halberd with silver-shod head (90 gp)