Murder Beach Party (Session 253)

SESSION 253: On the Beach

Wandering around looking for the tube to the surface. A chance encounter points them in the right direction. Things, as they are apt to do, took a turn for the worse at the last possible moment.

 

Day 191 (12.20/0605): The crew disembarked one last time. Once more pressed out across the rolling sand dunes. They went SE in search of the wall. It was uneventful. Once there they decided to go that way (W). A couple of hours later a number of lanterns could be seen. Cautiously moving forward, it was a wagon with five footmen. Hailing the wagon they were greeted by the guards and once cleared they were escorted to the now stationary wagon. 

 

Out popped three sharp dressed men – Malaki, Palaki & Laki. They were merchants from Vermillion ( a City-State somewhere out there in the preposterously large underworld) each specializing in their own fine libation – rum, ale and wine. They were of a friendly sort but were in a rush, behind schedule to reach their destination to trade the vast majority of their wares. Never being ones to discount a trade opportunity they offered to sell their limited spare inventory. For some reason our gang decided to take this the wrong way and decided to be dicks. The merchants once more explained that they were concerned that they would miss their very important meeting if they tarried too long. Our gang continued to be indifferent. Once again the merchants showed their professionalism and satisfied our band of jerks and made a three-flavoured sale and then began to move along. We had to stop them one more time with a final inquiry – “Have you seen a gross wet hole in the wall?”. 

They had, it was the other way about ¾ of a day. “Now we must truly did you adieu”. With that the leader of the guard cried out “Double time otherwise this diversion will wreck our mission those damn flippers are flighty!”.

They went that way and the hobos went this. Sometime later fatigue began to set in and camp was made. Steve cooked up the last of his fish reserves and they settled in. It took a little while but the fish roast attracted attention. A trio of hungry griffons stealthy attacked from above during the first watch. They swooped out from and back into the darkness causing some challenges until Saff was convinced to fly up and illuminate beyond the camp light. She took a nasty pecking and would sometime in the future fill Ding-We’s bed roll with centipedes to teach him a lesson – do not mess with the Queen of Ribbits. With Saff extending the visibility range they finally began to mount a strong counter attack. Two griffons were brought down and the third retreated into the darkness. The rest of the rest cycle was uneventful.

 

Day 192 (12.20/0605): They broke camp and made the final push for the tunnel. It took 3 hours. Bunny took a look and was convinced that this was indeed the tube they came down, handholds and all. A snack was had and then they began the grind back up to the surface. 

About ¾ of the hike was uneventful. Bunny heard scratching of many claws and then saw numerous glowing red eyes. A flash of scales. “Oh no…Basilisks!”, screamed Bunny as the beasts charged. Two immediately fell upon the thief while three others came up behind. Bunny was able to fend off being petrified again but still took a nasty bite before she made a hasty escape. The first two monsters hit the front line as the leadership group began to freak out “We gotta go nuclear now!”, screamed Ding-We right before he dangerously discharged a fireball that also engulfed the first two ranks of hobos. Saff and her wizard then started pulling out wands. The clerics brought forth protections to ward and aid. One basilisk down four to go. Steve and Dolec held the line. “Boys stand strong things are about to get real cold”, Ding-We moved upto the second rank and discharged his wand of frost. He well frosted the tanks and basilisks. The terrible beasts were frozen solid. Steve & Dolec only mostly so. This was a victory. “Gah! Why are we not back in Denethix? Who cannot see the warning? The damnable Basilisk Hills! They even have a cult for crying out loud….”, Bimbles once more reasserting his disdain for the country life. No one paid much attention as Steve, Dolec and Charles started opening the creatures guts and all sorts of stuff, shiny stuff, was spilling out. 

Looks like they hit a major payout. 

 

Ding-We derailed the celebration as he began yelling for gizzards.

It would take some time to deliver his demand. 

They would be spending some time in the tube before finally getting back to the surface.

So close, but not close enough.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 339203 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 301725 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 314678 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 233287 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                    

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 503926 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 282710 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 189378 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 119078 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 72857 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 77674 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 56494 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F5) 37745 <32000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Lester Flanders the Warder of Oceana (P5)  37504 xp <45000> +5% CRT XXXX

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Chung Li needs 12 weeks (74 days) and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 50 days (from A-Team calendar)

Elapsed Campaign Time

632 (630) days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Fifty-Four when we ask the questions:

Can’t we just get to the surface?

What about this Vermillion place?

Could we actually maintain a trading outpost down here?

Tale of the Tape

Rhags and Alamend are still rocks

Lester and Mason brought back from petrification through divine ritual.

Exploration Below the Blighted Sub-Hex

Location hex: 12.20

 

KILLS

Griffons (2) 

Basilisks (5) 

LOOT

20000 gp

5000 pp

The Long Sail to the Surface (Session 252)

SESSION 252: Reach the Beach 

Tired of waiting for the holy rollers to rise they are dragged back to the ship which Bunny seems to have commandeered. It was time to return to the shores from whence they came. Things are not a disaster but also not as smooth as hoped.

 

Day 183 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): Well they rested a cycle but the dang holy rollers continued to be comatose. They realized that they had only guesses as to when the corpses would rise. They had to move along, get back to the ship, they had water but Steve’s crab supply was already almost gone. They stripped down the sleepers, stowed away the gear with the remaining two hobo statues in the portable hole and then threw them over shoulders and they marched out of the vault. 

Almost through the mushroom chamber they stopped at the fungus crater due to the low food supply. Bunny noticed that a bunch of shrooms had been picked very recently. Steve did not care and picked a load. 

Returning to the second level, maze of the minotaur, they were greeted by a host of little draconic dog-men – kobolds. They were not hostile, in fact they may have been cheering. Stepping forward was their captain Rawk. He proffered two bags of mixed coins as a pair of kobolds came forward with baskets full of fish. Steve did not know what was going on but he was liking where things were going. It seems that the manticore was a huge problem for them. Mushrooms were a key component of their diet and the three-in-one took great pleasure in eating their mates. Now with it dead they could freely continue to cultivate and harvest from the fungi garden without often being consumed. “Hey thanks little guys. You wouldn’t happen to have some booze to wash this all down would you?”. They did. A bunch of them ran off while the others put on an ‘interesting’ song and dance presentation for our entertainment. It was not well practiced but they are funny little creatures. A couple of acts later two barrels of ale were produced. The kobolds then paraded the gang through the maze and back to the stairs back to the cave bear den.

Leaving behind the little goobers they made their way around the bear deterrent system (palisade) and quietly up the stairs. It did not take long for the two remaining cave bears to show up. Steve started hucking fish towards the animals while Saffron attempted to charm the sow. It worked. Saff landed on the bears head and used its ears to direct it to the platform. Everyone loaded on before the male bear ran out of fishy bribery. Back up to the arena they went. 

Nothing had changed in the arena. “My bear bear! My bear bear!”, Saff ran her bear around as Steve and Ding-We returned to the outer alcove to chat with Froguria. 

Just before returning to the ancient giant the wizard realized that they could not bring a 14’ bear no matter what Saff wants or does. She was going to be angry for sure.

“Hmmm. Not dead yet, but keep trying I’m sure you will get it done. The enemies you made with your antics will likely be more insistent than the friends you earned”. 

Ding-We opened up his portable hole and Steve pulled out the two barrels, “A little parting gift before the big (furry) parting gift. A couple barrels of ale and perhaps a cave bear to keep you company?”. “Nothing comes for free I guess and I am a good fisher-giant. You have a deal bring the beast forth”. They fell back and Ding-We faced the fury of an insane fairy spurned. Steve decided to sit with the giant for a while. To escape his brow beating Ding-We decided to grab Bunny, Charles and Saff (to distract and remind her of things) and they made their way to the platform to return to the den and see if he could muster the kobolds. He wanted something but the idea was half formed. Back down into the darkness they shouted for the dog-men and were ambushed by the remaining bear. Wow. Cave bears are big and mean. Ding-We ended up being crushed underneath the beast. He was about to die but Saff was able to paralyze the brute in the nick of time saving her dick of a boss. 

Bunny quickly finished it off once Charles got the wizard out from underneath, “Good idea Peg-leg”. They quickly retreated. Steve was sent down with Charles and Dolec to skin the bear. It took the rest of the day to get the job done but it was worth it, a full pelt in excellent condition. Once done they thought it was high time to get off this rock. They would sleep aboard the ship and set sail as soon as possible. Bunny was informed that she was now captain since Alamend was a rock. Carla may have provided the voice of wisdom but she and her cronies were still comatose.

 

Day 184 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): Captain Bunny takes the wheel with a strong breeze in the sails, “Avast ye scurvy dogs do your things we arrg going home!”. 

 

Day 185 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): This day they were awoken by a ship that was being tossed around like a ping-pong ball in a boxcar. Gale force weather this day. There would be no meditation or study and they were blown off course. The misdirection will become apparent when what should have been a three day journey turned into eight.

 

Day 186 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): Today a mild breeze assisted with the SS Serpent to continue its off course journey.

 

Day 187 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): A faint breeze today. His allowed for some concerted effort to really review the strange celestial illumination from the mega-cavern ceiling. Bunny and the brain-trust concluded they were notably off course and it was correction time.

 

Day 188 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): Back on target with a fresh breeze they sailed on. Hopefully SE as intended. Today was a good day to drop a challenge. A pair of giant mantids attacked late in the morning. They surprised our team and were voracious in their hunger. Probably also blown of course during the gale three days ago. The bugs fought with abandon in need of food. Unfortunately for the bugs, Steve did the same, “This stuff tastes like spider the other other other chicken!’. 

 

Day 189 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): The storm returned today but was nice enough to blow our ship in the right direction, mostly. Around midday the holy rollers finally arose from their slumbers. This initially provided cheers until our beaten hobos learned that the four were empty of spiritual powers, “Boooo”.

 

Day 190 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): A strong breeze would push the ship right into the tentacles of an angry giant octopus. There was fighting and criminal loss of yummy food. 

Later that day Captain Bunny crashed the ship into the shallows before a deep and long reaching beach composed of equal parts sand, shells and bones. “Yo-Ho-Ho it is done my mateys, drop the anchor!” Bunny hollered and grabbed a rail as the ship listed hard to its port side. As many other hobos tumbled all over the place some made comment about Bunny’s confusion regarding how to park a ship properly. She was disinterested in the nuances and relationship between running aground and operator error.

 

It looks like they had found their way back to the beach. 

 

The day had gotten long so they would camp on the ship one more night before beachcombing for the tunnel back to the surface. A portent, and not so grim, came that night a herd of fishy horse creatures came a dancing past and around the ship. Saffron revelled in this and probably forgot how Ding-We took her bear away. She returned to the ship with none the wiser and waited for the day to begin.

 

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 339203 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 301725 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 314678 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 233287 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 254664 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 356589 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)                         

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 503926 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 282710 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 157770 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 189378 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 173249 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 109599 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 119078 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 72857 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 77674 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 23766 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 45514 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 56494 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  83695 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  23902<40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F5) 37745 <32000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Lester Flanders the Warder of Oceana (P5)  37504 xp <45000> +5% CRT XXXX

Ike the Duck (DF6) – AVATAR form.

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Chung Li needs 12 weeks (74 days) and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 42 days (from A-Team calendar)

Elapsed Campaign Time

624 (630) days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Fifty-Three when we ask the questions:

Right so where are we, like really?

How do we find the tunnel?

Will we find the tunnel?

Will this side-quest ever end? 

Tale of the Tape

Rhags and Alamend are still rocks

Lester and Mason brought back from petrification through divine ritual.

Exploration Below the Blighted Sub-Hex

Location hex: 12.20

 

KILLS

Giant octopus 

Cave bear 

Giant Mantis (2) 

LOOT

500 cp

400 sp

867 gp

Ship in a Bottle

Murderers meets Destroyer (Session 251)

SESSION 251: The Eater of Seas

The final push to Arid was not a cake walk and upon setting sight on the target reality hit home with some weight.

 

Day 182 Continued Further (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): Down the steps they went for 60’ before opening into a massive sandy-floor chamber. A huge crater dominated the centre of the chamber filled with pale white and blue speckled mushrooms and 30’ to 40’ high pock-marked mesas surrounded it. To the west waterfalls could be heard beyond a giant sized staircase. 

A sinister voice suddenly echoed through the cavern from atop one of the mesas.

First voice -“Please tell me you have good tales to tell, I’ve been completely bored. If it’s good I promise I won’t eat you...”
Second  voice- “Oh, I do delight when you use that tone of voice. Raises my hairs don’t ya know! Giddyup!” 

Third voice -‘rumbled laughter’. 

 

Ding-We shot a glance to Bunny, she knew what it meant. Find where those voices are coming from. Carla attempted to take control of the dialogue and drag the entities into the light. 

Nope. 

They were comfortably wherever in the chamber they were.

 

First – “Tell me a tale of your adventures little people. Entertain me! I have a good four hours available. But make it good or I will eat one of you.”

Second – “Ha ha time to save your bacon treasure hunters.”

Third – “For me make it short….”

Second – “Oh Sionned you sly cat you, ha ha.”

 

The tale started in a rickety shack bound by a ‘B’ grade apprentice playing with powers way beyond his hardly nascent competency. This lead to a corn field and wicked little dwarves slaughtering folks only inches removed from being librarians, fishermen and candlemakers. Then came aimless wandering and finally a village and then stories of a mountain containing lost relics of a time long since lost and for the brave and lucky few the first steps towards a new life in a bizarre and wacky world dominated by insane wizards and the unspeakable. A city great, glorious and packed full of danger. Into ancient sewers only to be transported perhaps thousands of miles away to a maze. A great forest that finished with spiders, so many spiders in skinny jeans to highlight their mental powers. Then a bridge that lead to a town that unearthed rumours of a great and vast tomb ripe with evil and wealth undreamed of… on and on went the yarn until the time had past. Ding-We made sure to track this. He had things to do. Bunny had figured where the trio were but they could not be seen. 

 

“Alright. There ya go. That is the story of our lives as murderhobos. A deal is a deal. We got things to do”, Ding-We was feeling extra impatient. 

 

Second – “The stairs are behind you – whoop whoop!”

First – “You have avoided a random eating. But you cannot pass.. unless”.

“Gah spit it out man! What is it?”, a wizard spinning on his peg-leg.

Third – “This conversation is getting boring”.

First – “We could let you pass if we were not bound to guard what we all know lays beyond. Do the following for us to free us from this place and then do as you will. Slay a storm giant shamaness found to the north and break the spell that keeps us here”.

Second – “Don’t worry little ones you will die against her, so no worries”. 

First – “ I will even provide you a magical whistle. If you succeed of course. That will summon me in your time of need”.

Third – “Yes, do it. Free ussss”.

 

Ding-We had really had enough of this by this point and just wanted to get the fight rolling. He signalled to Saff and Bunny to light up the mesa from where they believed that the voices came. For the briefest of moments they caught sight of the Three-That-Are-One before it took wing and disappeared into the darkness. It was an ancient chimera a most wicked abomination. It erupted from the darkness to rain fire upon the frontliners. 

The beast was sly and kept to the air. Strafing out from the darkness. Potions of flight were quaffed to bring the fight to the beast and break its control of the rules of engagement. This resulted in Ding-We coming face to faces at the wrong time leading to a beating prior to his timely escape. Saffron learned that she isn’t always the fastest bug in the air and received a good ramming from Magara’s (Second) great goat horns. The fight was long and challenging leaving a number of hobos once more looking down the barrel, so to speak. The chimera, Ildeven/ Magara/ Sionned, were but three-in-one versus our eight remaining well-trained hobos. It was realized, too late, that the chimera could have been a wealth of neat components but the really did make a mess of the beast. Steve the steady hand that he is was able to harvest its wingtips and goat horns so better than nothing. During this time Bunny and Saff collected the healthy stash of treasure atop the beast’s mesa, “Check this out goobers! We just got paid”. Bunny then spilled thousands of golden and platinum coins onto the ground. There was more to make payment for the murder to be completely worth it. Bimbles and Carla took keen note of six blocks of incense that glowed brightly when detection magicks passed over. They each took three recognizing the find.

 

After not limited amount of bandaging and healing they pressed on to the final destination the vault of Arid. It was impressive, most impressive.

 

Demonic fish faces spewing forth water into basins surrounds the walls of this intricately carved chamber. Near the centre was a gigantic bowl (10’ tall) filled with smoking sand and in the middle was a titan-sized blackened sword sticking out of it (that's even bigger than giant-sized- wow). Silver chains were wrapped around the hilt and connect it to the bowl. As they approached the sword the volume of water from the fish-demon faces increased by the second. The chamber was notably filling with water. By the time they reached the bottom and conducted their initial investigations the water was approaching four feet in depth. And then the water took form, that of a massive angry wave 8’ high by 32’ wide. This was the final guardian of Arid the Drinker of Seas a colossal water elemental. 

Water is bad m’kay. It climbed up their hobo legs and began to constrict their hobo guts as a ginormous watery first swung about giving the gang the business. OOF!

They were not ‘ready’ for another epic boss fight but the wave seemed completely disinterested in parlay. Fight. Fight. Fight. 

The water closed like a noose around the gang and just kept squeezing and punching. Alas, even water can only take so many pokes, pops and poorly chosen spells. The water broke like a wave on a bulkhead. The wet began to recede and the gang stood before the 10’ high sandy bowl containing Arid. 

“That is one big galdarned sword and it don’t look none too nice”

“Nope”

“Well Shee-it. What do we do now?”

Ding-We pulled out the golden skull of Cormandyr and had Steve push him up into the bowl. So the skull could "see" the chained sword. 

“Wow! That is a nasty piece of work. I guess a couple of you could carry it and run after any damn dirty orc that shows up” the skull was once again blathering. 

Ding-We largely ignored the head and plunked it down on Arid, “Identify this, chatty skull”. “Sure partner sure. Here we go…. Wow. Yikes. This thing is not nice”. Contact awoke the sword from its musings of destruction and it began shouting a lot of unfriendly stuff. They tried to ignore it as Cormandyr (the chatty skull previously retrieved at some other god forsaken isle on the Zotanni Sea - ed.) told some of its story. “Arid: A legendary titan sword, once wielded by the titan Grumver the Arid Walker. It was wrested away during a giant war, with Marhduun the Dehydrator obtaining the sword and becoming a servant to the sword’s will. Arid is a sentient bastard sword made for giants. A human may not wield it unless magically enhanced in size. Triple damage against creatures of water or ice only. Sensory Power: Detect Water within a half mile. Special Purpose: Dehydrate Water—its purpose is to drink the seas and make the planet a desert. Its Dehydrate power can disintegrate 50 gallons of water per round. If plunged into a sea, its rate of water disintegration is doubled per day, every day until it's removed, destroyed, or the sea is dry…Talk about destroying the world. Nice sword hope y’all survive finding it”. 

“Evil!”, exclaimed the green girl. 

“Nope. Totally neutral even though its end game would result in mass extinction. Well probably total extinction of all life once it turned the world into a waterless husk. Funny that. It does sound totally evil from a living perspective”, was the golden skull’s clarification. 

The two holy-rollers began to confer and they did it quickly before the wizard came up with a half-baked plan that would likely result in Armageddon. “It must be destroyed. We have a plan”, with that the two clerics laid out a ritual of sacrifice and destruction that would even require the other two petrified holy warriors. 

To destroy Arid it would take some umph. 

They chalked out an octagram around Arid then placing a ‘holy one’ in each of the cruxes between two vertices. They fired up the incense and petitioned TMB, Spinning Stars & Moons, Yrrrg and Oceana to accept their sacrifices to sunder Arid. 

The ritual took awhile longer than ideal due to Mason and Lester being petrified so proxies had to do their petitioning. Hours later the ritual did reach its peak and the two clerics and two proxies stepped towards Arid with their sacrifices raised on high. Simultaneously the offerings were laid into Arid with sundering force. Next came a blinding light and concussive blast that sent even the observers off their feet. 

Arid was no more and the gods were a bit more than satisfied. Mason and Lester were flesh once more but all four of the holy rollers appeared to be in sort of comatose state. 

Steve recognized the situation quicker than expected, “Get the cooking supplies out. We is not leavin this place yet”.

 

Really was a good half day when you measure it all out.

Note: If it was italicized those words were from Malrex of the Merciless Merchants. 

Integrate their stuff into your game. We are having lots of fun.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 339203 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 301725 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 314678 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 233287 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                     

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 503926 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 282710 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 189378 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 72857 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 77674 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 56494 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F5) 37745 <32000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Lester Flanders the Warder of Oceana (P5)  37504 xp <45000> +5% CRT XXXX

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Chung Li needs 12 weeks (74 days) and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 41 days (from A-Team calendar)

Elapsed Campaign Time

623 (630) days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Fifty-Two when we ask the questions:

When you do something big you make both allies and enemies right?

Was it too easy to sunder Arid?

Now what are we going to do?

Tale of the Tape

Rhags and Alamend are still rocks

Lester and Mason brought back from petrification through divine ritual.

Exploration Below the Blighted Sub-Hex

Location hex: 12.20

 

KILLS

Chimera 

Greater Water Elemental 

LOOT

5,700gp

2,100pp, 

platinum and emerald rimmed goblet (900 gp)

two silver armbands with diamond clips (400 gp)

three golden necklaces (200 gp each)

velvet sack of 12 rubies (50 gp each)

diamond whistle (300 gp) 

Incense of meditation (6)

Potion of Speed, 

scroll with Wall of Ice

Ring of X-ray Vision. 

In Rock We Trust (Session 250)

SESSION 250: In Rock We Trust (June 2023)

After a conversation with a fisher-giant the hobos began running the gauntlet towards the relic known as Arid.

 

Day 182 Continued (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): Rooting through the pay-pile the sound of grinding stone is heard coming from the seaside alcove. Steve and Dolec went to check it. 

Sitting on the ledge edge was a king of stone giants holding an appropriately sized fishing rod and flanked by a bowl of water(?) and an appropriately sized basket overflowing with fish only a giant could reel in. Steve – "Wooooo, nice catch". In common,“Keep it smooth knucklehead, the big ones scare easily”. Steve complied and felt a pang of sadness that his fishing pal Rhags could not see this. Steve watched the giant’s smooth cast out into the Zoltani Sea – plop. 

“I guess you all are curious as to what you have stumbled upon… or maybe you searched it out. Doesn’t really matter to me one way or the other… 

This is a Vault that holds Arid, a titan sword. Many wish to obtain it, most die by my grandson Vorag, but he has lost his way and he annoys me. Or annoyed me, seems you have slain him? 

Good. I do not care about it anymore. I’m old...and I find that I enjoy fishing”. Steve agreed with the ancient stone giant and was just a little envious. 

Ding-We interrupted his pleasant musings. 

Whisper whisper whisper. ..

Steve, after direction probed further regarding this place and the sword. 

“Deeper down there are a variety of guardians. You are probably going to die and no I’m not going to spoil the surprise. But, they feed on kobolds—they breed like rats, those little bastages. I remember Vorog and I clubbing them out to sea as a competition. I won, hah! Anyways, all those mongrels below me are brutes for eating those kobolds—hardly any meat on them! But whatever, it leaves way more fish for me, which are far superior in taste. Tell me, what will you do with the sword? Hah...actually, how are you even going to carry it? Fools....but hey, I’ll trade a few fish if you have any ale or wine? Alcohol would make this day just about perfect.” 

(Italicized stuff once more attributed to Malrex, Merciless Merchants)

Carla just happened to have a trio of wine bottles in her little stow away. They were passed forward. “Hmm not much but something. A fine day indeed. Best of luck in your deaths. I will just keep on fishing until my day comes”. 

They fell back to the gladiatorial chamber to finish the loot collection and packing statue Rhagnar away. 

Getting back into the arena proper it was confirmed that the other cells were empty. Steve then got down to work to extract the basilisk’s gizzard. It was intact and the Duke of Gormandia did a yeoman’s job of removing it. This was right around when Ding-We realized that they had no proper container for the huge damn thing he had forgotten to bring a metamorpha or even a simple canopic jar. It might not survive the trip. They packed it away as best they could. Charles discovered that there were levers on one of the pillars beside the platform and the runes above the fire giant skeleton read ‘Mahrduun the Dehydrator, destroyer of seas and oceans, he has paid for his crimes...’. They piled onto the platform. Once Steve figured out the levers the platform began to descend. 

The rumble of chains echoed in the cave below as the platform descends a short shaft before opening into a huge sandy cavern. A half-eaten kobold corpse was noted near the northern wall, thirsty sand absorbing the blood. 

This was the lair of Vorag’s cave bears. 

This was not realized until things went wrong. 

The Clan of Cave Bears had pretty good ventilation in their home. That defeated what would normally have been a party for anyone’s olfactory sense - giving away the ursus presence. 

No such luck here.

Shining their lights about a portion of the chamber was defined. A wider passage to the south was the selected path of exploration. This resulted in running headlong into the first two bears that slammed into Steve and Dolec – OOF! 

Not seeing any giants the bears saw only dinner. 

      (Pantry Panic, 1941)

 

The hobos found themselves in a choke point and only able to provide limited support to the frontline. Four more bears attacked from behind. Now our hobos were feeling a bit like an accordion, those in the middle might be claw and fang free but they had a good squish going on. Battle raged. It seemed like the two sides were almost at a stalemate. Steve and Alamend were underneath bears but still successfully fending themselves. Some jerk’s wand of polymorph turned one of the bears into a giant fish and they thought the tide was a turning. Then more bears arrived. Fortunately one of them elected to drag away the giant fish. It would have a shock in store but not right away. The other slammed into Carla. Saff was able to charm this one as the other began to fall. An anguished howl could be heard. The last bear just realized it was eating a fellow clan member and raced back for vengeance. Saff’s bear, Lulu a mighty sow, intercepted the remaining male, Jeremy, and gave him a stern reprimand. Jeremy was not happy about this but Lulu was momma to many and carried deference. Before they wandered away into the deeper darkness Saff was able to learn that there was a stairwell going deeper into the rock in the western extent of the larger chamber and that stupid kobolds made it impassable. The gang went that way. The Steep stairs lead downward along the west wall. Wooden palisades with sharpened stakes were near the bottom. The gang remembered Froguria’s words, they would be running a gauntlet to secure the spoils. We better get smart.

Bunny once more quaffed some invisible and then Saff cast a phantasmal image of her bestest gummy head friend Sloth. Bunny snuck down the steps as the image of Sloth followed slightly behind. They did a number of things to attract attention but nothing happened immediately. To the east of the landing chamber were a number of torturously twisted passageways cut into the rock. If the next challenge was here they were not immediately lured to action. Saff moved fake Sloth deeper into the chamber and Bunny tossed a light stone down a passage. This elicited a response. Twang! A crossbow bolt caused Sloth to dissolve into motes of magical energy. Whatever made the shot did not immediately reveal itself. The horde began to make their way down and press the matter. Worming into the labyrinth the opponents were revealed – minotaurs! It was a trio of bull-men that used the twisting passages to their advantage as best they could, shooting from the darkness until bloodlust overtook them. The Minotaurs charged from the darkness halberds in hand and sharpened horns lowered. Once more the sands drank the rain of blood. The trio of man-eating bovines could not hold against the hobo horde. Sloshing and wave-lapping sea water echoes loudly within this cave from outside, as if reverberating from the natural pillars of various sizes. Passages twist and turn around the natural pillars quickly becoming a natural maze. 

The maze did what it does, confuse and disorientate. They found themselves in a tight passage. It opened into a larger chamber with a greeting party. Continual light shines from the 20’ tall ceiling in this huge sandy floored chamber. Several natural pillars made of pumice hold up the ceiling, casting darkened shadows along the walls. Atop a broken pillar lies a humongous silver horn, with crackling yellowish runes. Three minotaurs stepped forward in an inverse arrow formation with the apex before and behind the broken pillar. The largest of the beasts blew the horn. The very rumbling of the abyss came from it. The smoky form of a giant bull began to form. One of the others carried a black and gold crossbow. When the bolt was fired it turned to a swarm of angry hornets that encompassed the gang. Stinging and biting making concentration new impossible. Ding-We saw things going down hill quick. He activated his ring of spell-storing, putting a wall of fire between forces. At the same time Lester blew on his horn petitioning the Valkyrie to release the berserkers. Four appeared and they rushed the wall without fear as they knew enemy were on the other side. This allowed the party to fall back. Their tactical withdrawal was intercepted. The ironclad bull-beast, a gorgon,  appeared from a side passage and released its ghastly breath. Lester, Alamend and Mason were petrified. There would be no avoidance this day. Steve and Charles engaged the gorgon. Further up the side passage the berserkers had circled one of the minotaur, the other two pressed forward to provide missile support for the gorgon. The creature let loose with its breath once more and Steve thanked the God’s for his pig-faced basinet that provided him with an atmospheric bubble. Without it he too would have been packed into a storage facility. All hands attacked the gorgon and this was what was required to prevent it from ever breathing again. They them finished up with the guardians of the labyrinth. 

Returning to the chamber with the horn they rested, healed and then looked for their pay.

Around the pillar bearing the massive horn (250 lbs.) was strewn the treasure. Both coin and items. Beyond the horn there was the crossbow and an ornate gold shuttered lantern. They quickly tallied things and then packed the treasure and the three newest hobo statues into the now very crowded portable hole. Finally getting around to giving the chamber an actual investigation a descending stairwell was found behind a stone curtain wall. 

“Let’s get this done’, was the wizard’s encouragement. Steve, Charles and Dolec marched towards the unknown.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 336823 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 299345 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 312298 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 233287 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 254664 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 356589 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)                         

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 501546 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 280330 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 157770 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 188188 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 173249 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 109599 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 119078 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 72353 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 76484 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 23766 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 45514 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 5530421 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  83695 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  23902<40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F5) 25020 <32000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Lester Flanders the Warder of Oceana (P5)  37504 xp <45000> +5% CRT XXXX

Ike the Duck (DF6) – AVATAR form.

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Chung Li needs 12 weeks (74 days) and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 41 days (from A-Team calendar)

Elapsed Campaign Time

623 (630) days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Fifty-One when we ask the questions:

Another stairwell going down, what challenge awaits?

Arid…a ticket to trouble?

Tale of the Tape

Rhags is still a rock

Lester, Mason and Alamend joined the stone brigade

Exploration Below the Blighted Sub-Hex

Location hex: 12.20

 

KILLS

Cave Bears (8: 6 defeated 2 retreated)

Minotaurs (6) 

Gorgon 

LOOT

560 sp

3100 gp 

217 pp

Zircon (2) 50 gp each

Scroll 

Hooded Lantern (magical)

Hornet - crossbow