Operation Orc Obliteration (Session 222)

 SESSION 222 (Side Session): Operation Orc Obliteration

Seven days ago back on the Prime Material plane, Boris is bored and decides to lead the ‘B-team’ out on an orc extermination mission.

Day 151 Clear (13.20à13.21/0403/0404/0303/0304/0305): The first snow of the season came overnight just a light dusting but a portent of things to come. The day was crisp, clear and bright. Too much to ignore for Boris the bored and so he wrangled up the troops and presented a plan. “Let’s go kill orks”. The elaborate plan was embraced by eight other bored murderhobos. The others were sadly entangled in operational oversite activities. With that they set out to the southwest to get rid of the final (known) bastion of the beastmen within the purvey of the HoboKings ™ future territory. The journey to the blighted lands was uneventful and when they reached the sandstone rock that was presumably the orc haven nothing happened and this was vexing for our ‘B-Team’. 

 

They didn’t seem to realize that sometimes there was only one easy way in. This would be resolved very slowly (tomorrow). Eventually, after a goodly period of time of waving a white flag around they decided to scale the big chunk of rock. Rammer, invisibly, was sent up to set up some rope lines after taking a quick look around. The top of the rocky outcropping was like the spine, rib cage and open sternum of an ancient goliath. The open sternum descended into darkness and the likely location of orc-town. This disappointed Rammer as there was near limitless options to hide and spring from if one was familiar with the landscape. His initial search did not reveal any Pig-men so he sent the lines down to the other mooks. Once they got up there and began moving a clanging rung out and then was joined by many more across the area. There was orcs up here and they were well hidden. This lead to a number or sorties between groups before the main host of orcs either disappeared or made escape into the gaping central crevasse. It was decided that a tactical regrouping was in order, the orcs were on high alert and jumping straight into the nest could be problematic. Back to the ropes and down the slope. Boris decided to try again tomorrow.

 

Until then they decided to clear some adjacent sub-hexes. This was fairly easy as nothing wants to live next door to vile pig-men and the orcs were in defensive mode. By the end of the day they were almost two leagues away from the orcs redoubt. Good enough place as any to camp.

 

Day 152  Clear (13.21/0305/0405): If the orcs had been around they were not seen nor heard over night. The ‘B’-Team were a little more stiff than usual, likely due to Winter’s chill biting in. They decided to ease into the days warfare and began with some hex clearing first. 

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 296582 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 270698 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 282057 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 203046 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 238829 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 352754 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Injury: -Crushed -8” H                       

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 456405 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 250189 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 173128 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 170997 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 109599 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 57293 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 55424 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 40244 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  81443 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

            Injury: -5’mv from brutal arm shatter

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Chung Li needs 12 weeks (74 days) and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 29 days

Elapsed Campaign Time

598 (605) days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Twenty-Three when we ask the questions:

Where did the orks go?

How many more of these beastmen bastards are there?

Will numbers beat ‘guns’?

Tale of the Tape

Exploration Below

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Lots of Orcs (11) 

LOOT

None

Nothin' but Trouble at Cassidy's (Session 221)

 SESSION 221: Wet trouble, Dry Trouble, Nothing but Trouble

 

The hobos race against the clock looking for safe harbour from the impending high tide.

 

Day 158 Continued (12.20/0605): While they had been in the corridor of illusionary environment two creatures had pulled themselves from the brine. A pair of Histrix, humanoid seahorse-like things, they opened with hostility that quickly waned as they set eye on the whole hobo horde. They recognized the futility of aggression and negotiated passage back to the water after giving some very marginal information up in exchange. Strangely for aquatic creatures they did not smell good. With a pair of splooshes they were gone and our band pressed on.

Going up a flight of stairs they came to a door with an enormous shark jaw decorating it, the corridor continued further up another flight of steps going southeast. In the distance a ‘thumping’ could be heard. For the time being it was ignored and the door at hand was investigated. There was an illuminated room beyond the threshold and the subtlest of tapings could be heard. The door was full cooperative and proved to have no hidden traps. Beyond was a large chamber dominated by a massive replica of a forgotten ship, the Hellraiser, being worked on by a hooded figure that had a serious battle axe strapped to its back. Rhags drooled just a little bit more than normal. The band announced their arrival to the being it put down its tiny chisel and hammer turned around and pulled back its hood revealing a gleaming white skull. Carla was about to overreact when it spoke, “Hail there! And what are you about? I am a bit busy getting the ship sea worthy but it has been very… very long since I have had visitors”. The skeletal votary – Ulenmahr stated that he was happy to chat for a bit but please excuse his continued works things just need to get done. He was a source of knowledge but the hobos proved to be weak in the inquiry department. They did learn a thing or two. The thumping noise came from the damnable Navigator (curse him for breaking my concentration) and that the red tide is from the influence of an abyssal place known as the Sanguine Fathoms which will be conquered once he completes his ‘ship’. On this angle, the Hellraiser was clearly missing a piece, the bust. The skeleton explained that it was of a screaming maiden and was about somewhere. “Find it and bring it to me and I will reward you with this magic ring” waving a ringed finger around. He confirmed that it was “MAGIC!” and what it did with said magic was unknown to him but it was “MAGIC!”. At this point he asked the gang to shove off as they wee crowding his works. They left the chamber and took the stairs towards the thumping Navigator.

 

The Navigator was a fucked up mutilated thing clinging to unlife in the blackness. The entity put up quite the fight for something that had its eyes sewn shut, flesh flayed and a single woodn clog for footwear (also the likely source of the thumping). The Navigator launched magical attacks from beyond an unnatural fog bank within its magically lightless chamber. But eventually the mob did what mobs do and swarmed the horror and chopped it into tiny little pieces and countered its fog and darkness. They tossed the corpse bits out the door and then sealed it with spikes and then searched the chamber before settling in for a rest. They ended up finding some antique navigation equipment and a map that had the words “treasure be here” scrawled across it. 

 

The map depicted another island floating upon the lightless sea. The gang deliberated before falling into their rest cycle regimes. The period ‘night’ passed smoothly. The morning however came with a wet slapping on the door. Carla, or some other twit, called out and were rewarded with a thunderous blow upon the portal nearly blowing it from the hinges. For a second time someone called out and what was beyond now would gain entry. It took two more mighty blows before the door exploded.

A giant octopoidal creature twisted and mutated by the red tide. Unnaturally long tentacles shot into the chamber in hopes of drawing a hobo into its nasty beaked maw. The fight was on. It did not take long to get the fight to ‘off’ and when Steve had his heart broken. The prospect of giant octopus made the future King of Gormandia very hungry until Bimbles pointed out that the thing was contaminated by the red tide and not likely a good source of a balanced diet.

 

Steve lead the trudge back to the pool hub chamber and they one more went north into the imaginary underwater experience corridor. You remember that right? The one with the kelpy skulls in alcoves. Moving down the corridor it became apparent there were four alcoves on each side and each one was populated by a skull that now had something to say….and they grabbed your ear and will to leave. A couple of the gang became enthralled listening to the jibber-jabber. Some of it was worthwhile but largely just gooh-bah-gabbah. 

 

Getting through the nattering skulls they entered into what appeared to once be a sizable mess hall. There was two egresses from the chamber a corridor to the west and a stairwell descending to the east but perhaps more interestingly there was a lever. The lever became a point of inquiry and a cursory examination of the chamber was commenced. It didn’t take long to find the presumed function. Hanging from the ceiling were almost fifty regular old dead skeletons attached to chains by the neck. No thanks. 

They proceeded to the west. The corridor ran for a ways before offering a branch or continuance to the west that ended in a door. They choose the door. It lead to a small chamber. Immediately beyond the door was a curtain of dried kelp bladders. Pushing beyond revealed a simple chamber with an open sarcophagus and two stone tables with various, likely, interesting things. Before they could get down to robbery the ghost of Luvous appeared once more for they were in the First Mate’s Tomb and that is what he was. Luvous was not all that bad of a ghost. Unfortunately, whenever a spirit appears they tend to spook folks and this resulted in a slight aging of a couple of our hobos. Luvous was actually quite happy to just chit chat for a bit and that was exactly what they did once Carla put away her ‘holy guns’.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 296582 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 270698 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 282057 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 203046 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 238829 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 352754 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Injury: -Crushed -8” H                       

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 456405 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 250189 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 173128 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 170997 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 109599 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 57293 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 55424 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 40244 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  81443 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

            Injury: -5’mv from brutal arm shatter

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Chung Li needs 12 weeks and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 28 days

Elapsed Campaign Time

605 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Twenty-Two when we ask the questions:

 

Tale of the Tape

Exploration Below

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Histrix (2) negotiated passage

The Navigator 

Giant octopoidal scavenger 

LOOT

200 pp

7000 gp

Jewelry (6) = 1300,1000,1500,1500,1000,1700 – 8000gp 

Treasure Map

Sextant, spyglass, compass, diary 

Into the Brine Lord's Tomb (Session 220)

 SESSION 220: The Brine Lord’s Tomb

 

Once more into the not-so-dry dungeon in search of loot and maybe a solution to the red tide. 

 

Day 158 (12.20/0605): Rested up once more the gang intended to return to the soggy dungeon but they were distracted. There was still a corner or two of the cave network to explore. Second was an ambush by a pair of giant prawns that provide Slappy with a nice snack before it was realized that the beast was being colonized by the damned barnacles and would need to be released. Saffron was not happy to lose her water slide. A little while before these occurrences there was the first and somewhat more interesting discovery. It was the skeleton of a large giant chained to a pillar. About it wore a spiked crown that had fused to the skull due to a strange yellow and orange brain coral. The rock pillar upon which the giant was lashed there were hieroglyphs that told the story of a mighty sea captain and the giant. The take away being no matter how big you is don’t trust a pirate. For some reason this situation weirded out the whole gang far more than one would expect a non-animate skeleton to do. To resolve this they wacked the poor guy’s head off – plop – into the water it disappeared. They tried things for reasons only hobos know. Nothing outputted a result beyond the norm. We then finally got to the time when Slappy was released back into the big black sea and the gang returned to the secret trap door and returned to the tomb.

            The tide was beginning to return they figured they had about four hours before the complex was once more partially flooded. Once more they were greeted by the two mermaid/ shark statues and a bunch of exceptionally large red barnacles. The barnacles made no sudden actions.. but they were smashes on principle. Moving to inspecting the statues loot was discovered. One of the sharks had pearls for teeth and the chain shirt worm by the mermaid was real and of beautiful lineage. The noise immediately attracted a wandering golem made of driftwood. It did not have anything to say and just smashed until it was no longer able. Afterwards, during the pearl extraction, Ding-We decided to let loose a nasty bit of magic – cloud kill. He stood at the door way as a noxious black streams of smoke were emitted from his fingertips before forming a large bilious cloud of death that roiled away from him. “let that cook for a while and then we can go for a pleasant walk”, Dinger did not give an thought to the ethical nature of this decision. The cloud disappeared into the darkness, killing everything it came in contact with. 

 

            Leaving the chamber they were faced by another statue at the end of the corridor at the head of a T-junction. To the west was a door and the eastern passage extended into darkness. The statue once was of a regal man standing with outstretched arms before a crashing wave was now in a state of grotesque mockery. The red barnacles had colonized it covering it in ooze of various consistencies making the being appear to be melted. Someone got too close, most likely Bunny, and the statue spoke. Spoke a riddle as a matter of fact. This garnered a series of groans from our lunk-headed assembly. It took some effort but we got to the finish line and the statue opened a hand revealing a fist sized pearl fishing hook. Bunny yoinked it. Ding-We didn’t want to rush his toxic cloud so they decided to see what lay beyond the bedraggled door. 

            A large chamber that was home to a rather impressive statue of an octopus resting atop a very large ball. There was also another corridor that went north but the y decided to put some attention into the statue as they always think that it is just a matter of time until they attack. It did not. Rhags did notice something far more interesting. The ‘ball’ was actually a pearl, a real pearl. A really big pearl. So big in fact it would have taken a tavern sized oyster to create. He was enthralled but no one else seemed to care Carla and Ding-We redirected the troupe back down the corridor for some reason that Rhags could not figure, “It’s the world’s biggest pearl why ain’t we taking it. Are we not hobos?” he queried the gods whom were also not listening. 

 

They decided to return to the corridor and move east. Past a descending stairwell, a corridor going ‘south’, then a small empty chamber finally arriving at the end where steps ascended to a door devoid of water damage. “Looks like we may have found a safe harbour from a rising tide”, pointed out the one-legged wizard of id. They decided to back track and check out the other corridor while the environment was still relatively dry.  They came to a mangled door. It seemed more interesting than a simple corridor so in they went. After twenty feet east the passage turned south and began to descend eventually leading to another sea rotten door. Beyond was a water eroded room with even more statues. Feeling confident now that they had not been attacked by any of the previous statues. There was twelve at one point, now only nine remain. The gang got down to work. Well sort of. They looked at some and investigated others. A trap was sprung and some loot was found including a small chest full of good stuff and a cat shaped pendant on a chain that Charles took a shining to. Time had advanced during all this exploration and it was decided that it would be prudent to get back to the dry door and search for a possible harbour during high tide. 

 

Bunny with a little help from Steve opened the door revealing a large rectangular chamber, wonderfully free of barnacles and full of paintings – “Noooooo”, many MurderHobos. They knew passage through the chamber was the course of action but past experience turned them into a bunch of little scaredy cats. “Don’t look and don’t touch”, directed the wizard. No one argued. They moved through the centre of the room with heads down until they reached the door at the far end and got the hell out. 

A short corridor lead to landing with two stairwells one going up the other dropping down. They elected to check the lower passage before their feet were covered in water. The stairs ended at what was once a door. Beyond was a square room that was more of a water filled pit with a landing before a passage on each wall. Looking into the water it was clear it was deep and home to the never ending war between the jellyfish and red barnacles of Abyzou. It was decided that taking a dip was not the best idea. Instead they pulled out the folding boat and moved the group to the northern egress. There was a weird shimmering curtain of light. It was determined to be weird, like I said, but harmless. Beyond was a corridor with a series of alcoves the first of which housed kelp covered skulls. Hmmm, nope not yet. They decided to fall back to the eastern “dry zone” in hopes of finding a painting free rest area. 

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 296582 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 270698 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 282057 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 203046 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 238829 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 352754 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Injury: -Crushed -8” H             

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 456405 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 250189 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 173128 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 170997 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 109599 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 57293 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 55424 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 40244 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  81443 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

            Injury: -5’mv from brutal arm shatter

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Sloth, Boris & Camillus rehab (correction of structural injuries) - COMPLETED

Chung Li needs 12 weeks and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 27 days

Elapsed Campaign Time

604 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Twenty-One when we ask the questions:

 

Tale of the Tape

Exploration Below

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Giant mantis shrimp (2) 

Driftwood Golem 

 

LOOT

Pearls (20) 50 gp each = 1000 gp

Golden Pearl large 500 gp

Treasure map!

Ruby 300 gp

Silver cat pendant w/ Sapphire eyes 200 gp

400 sp

300 gp

1100 cp

Potion of invisibility

Displacer Cloak

Hiding in a Crap Hole (Session 219)

 SESSION 219: Whack-a-Hobo

Progress grinds to a halt as the mob huddles in cave trying to avoid entanglements.

 

Day 139 Continued (12.20/0605): Cleanup of the rookery commenced along with preparation to excavate the collapsed tunnel. It was during this time Ding-We decided to take a peek at the Bimbles bits in his portable hole. He was greeted by an unpleasant scent. The bits were decomposing as the hole was not a stasis chamber. The wizard conferred with Carla whom confirmed his concern – they were running out of time to attempt to raise Bimbles back to life. 

They would conduct the ritual here, tomorrow. First they would make effort to secure this area, reduce the stench and filth and see what lies beyond the stone debris.

A secret and ancient shrine was beyond. Shells decorated the walls and a giant abalone half- shell sat before a grotesque statue like an offering bowl. The statue was of a sexless semi- figure that was an aberrant aquatic demonic humanoid hybrid. An arm with a crab claw points towards the heavens and one sharp-clawed finned foot stood upon a human skull. The face has jagged teeth, grinning in revelry. The statue resulted in the return the knee-knockers. They were so preoccupied with worrying about the statue they did not even notice that the half-shell was chock full of pearls. They used magick to test for this, that and the other thing. All findings were negative. This did not prevent the hobos from running back to the previous chamber after quickly digging a pit trap between chambers just in case the statue did anything.  Afterwards Ding-We pulled out his golem and set it on watch. Let the camping commence.

Day 140 thru 156 (12.20/0605): Carla began the day by collecting the Bimbles bits and setting them into place so that she could conduct the greatest of holy rituals to bring her colleague back to life. She called down the power of TMB and was answered. The Bimbles was engulfed in a radiant light and as it faded he was one more a single piece and he drew the first breath of his next life. Carla collapsed exhausted and Bimbles would not rise for two weeks. The gang settled in for the long camp. 

The first night was the second worst. A gaggle of sea trolls attempted a quiet entrance from the grotto they set off the early warning golem system that allowed the fighters to get to their feet and arm themselves. Our gang knows how to handle trolls and these slimy buggers were markedly smaller, except for their broken glass maws, than their terrestrial cousins. The frontline did end up taking some hits as they were unarmoured but the sea trolls were quickly outclassed. 

The third night is when things went sideways. This time the intruder did, somehow, successfully gain entrance and dropped right into the camp. Within seconds both Steve and Bunny were stone dead. They had seen the depth of the hags soul and it sent their hearts into immediate arrest. Saffron was the sole remaining guard and screeched out warning – “Sea hag! Sea hag! Steve and Bunny are had! What a total drag!” The grotesque creature it seems had one heck of an evil eye. With the mustering of the rest of the horde, Charles and Rhags engaged the crone and found that she like the trolls was not as formidable as her non-aquatic sisters. The fight end almost as fast as it had started. Carla would be called upon twice more to imbue fallen comrades with the light of TMB. 

The ritual was conducted the following day and Carla once more achieved the desired outcome. Steve and Bunny like Bimbles had fresh new lives to live although they had become just a little more fragile than their previous life. The gang would be stuck in their bird cave for an additional three days after Bimbles eventually rises. 

The following two weeks went by without further mishaps.

Day 157 (12.20/0605): Two weeks later. They were ready to head back into the grotto. Once more into the folding boat and back to exploring the unknown. As they moved passed the largest of the entrances to the grotto an unusually strong current grabbed their vessel and tossed it out into the great underground sea. This caught the attention of a hunting prehistoric creature. It slid up quiet as death slowly rearing its 25’ long neck before using it like a club across our unaware sailor hobos in hopes of knocking one overboard. The creature was a plesiosaurus of no small stature. The beast was so large and likely pee-brained that it did not even notice the magics being hurled at it and its timely neck swing interrupted the big magicks. Things were not looking real good as the hobos were now functionally sitting ducks in their folding boat. Fortunately Saff took the reins and dropped a Fae hex upon the beast. It did take two tries but then the charm took hold of the marine dinosaur and the Queen of Ribbits had a new pal that she named Slappy. Back into the grotto they went dinosaur and all. 

They worked their way through the cavern network of the western side of the grotto. There were mutant sharks and strange eels but Slappy’s presence made things a bit easier and they ended up finding a beach that was home to partially buried skeletal remains. Not overly concerned with things they yanked a bone pipe and a bottle of rum from its cold boney grip. They then began moving east. Around the central back area of the cave Bunny spotted something not quite right on the ceiling it looked like a cleverly disguised trap door about twenty feet above the current water level. She whipped out the rope of climbing and made her way to the spot. It was a trap door and it opened into a chamber that was fortunately devoid of occupant. It was decided that they would explore the rest of the watery caverns and come back to this area after a rest.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 296582 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 270698 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 282057 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 203046 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 238829 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 352754 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Injury: -Crushed -8” H             

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 456405 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 250189 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 173128 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 170997 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 109599 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 57293 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 55424 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 40244 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  81443 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

            Injury: -5’mv from brutal arm shatter

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Boris & Camillus rehab (correction of structural injuries) for 14 days

            Elapsed: 9 days

Chung Li needs 12 weeks and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 9 days

Sloth rehab 14 days

            Elapsed: 5 days

Bimbles, dead as a doornail 

Elapsed Campaign Time

586 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Twenty when we ask the questions:

Where is the source of the Red Plague?

Three fatalities so far, bad luck or a grim portent?

Tale of the Tape

Steve and Bunny looked into the evil eye. Two more deaths, two more raised back from death

Exploration Below

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Sea Trolls (6) 

Sea Hag 

Plesiosaurus - CHARMED  

Adult Cruor Barnacles (8) 

Corrupted Bull Sharks (6) 

Zontani Pelican Eels (5) 

LOOT

Pearls (100 @ 10 gp) 1000 gp

2000 ep

Luvous’s Seal Bone Pipe

Bottle of rum

Destination Murder Island (Session 218)

 SESSION 218: The Rock

 

Strangeness persists and there is more to this island than meets the eye.

 

Day 138 continued (12.20/0605): Coming to the toe of the slope from the palm forest the terrain become completely sandy and somewhat damp. They came upon what would be later determined to be a fairly sizable tidal pool. It was full of life anemones and strange colourful fish bristling with spines. On the farside of the pool they caught sight of something larger one of those overstuffed sausage like mammalian things. This one however was moving really weird and making a low groan to match. A portion of the gang approached to get a better look. The creature was rotting. So much so that bone could be seen. Is it dead? Is it alive? For some reason this creature instilled a metric shit-tonne of cowardice in our gang. As they fuddled the creature turned towards the reconnaissance team let out a gross noise and charged. Our group ran like chickens. The thing pursued until it impaled itself on Rhagnar’s javelin. It slowly slid down the shaft leaking fluids all over Rhags before some with even more ick occurred. Seeping out of one of the creature’s nostrils came a jellyfish that landed on Rhags shoulder and then oozed it’s way down to the ground leaving even more gunk on the Dwarf. He stomped on it spraying jelly-slime all about. 

Moving on, not far, there was another rocky slope. Looking around before traversing the slope Bunny noticed that the sand was wet and then observed an incoming trickle of water along the rocky toe. “I think the tide is coming in” “That ain’t right” “Right or wrong doesn’t change the fact”. They decided to be watchful of the creeping waters as they pressed on. Getting to the apex a number of eerie glows breaking the gloom could be seen beyond. This rocky area was actually a dome over some sort of grotto that released a weak blueish light that escaped from a collection of ‘skylights’ in the rock. Looking in it was like a marine wonderland albeit tainted by the red glow of the barnacles of Abyzou heavy presence in the waters. This seemed like the logical place to go next but the rising tide was a concern so they elected to return to the palm forest and ride out the bizarre subterranean tidal cycle. This was not a bad plan. The central sandy beach area was now covered in fingers of water that crawled across the beach and began filling the pool. They made their way back to the highlands and set up a makeshift camp. It was not all that long until the waters swallowed the land between them and what little of the rocky dome that still broke the surface. With the waters came the strange mutated denizens of this sea. Our hobos were rather happy to be on terra firma a goodly ways above the waters.

 

Day 139 (12.20/0605): The tidally determined rest cycle lasted six hours. The gang decided that the spell casters would forgo the two extra hours to replenish their powers to maximize the low tide period for exploration into the grotto. As the waters once more revealed the low areas of the island the mob made their way back towards the ‘skylights’ above the grotto area. First there were a couple of obstacles. 

As they crossed the sands they encountered a group of giant crabs tearing apart what remained of a merman. They considered bypassing this event but then noticed a dismembered arm that was adorned with glittery jewelry. That was enough to activate their murderhobo powers. After mashing the crabs up and doing a little searching, there was an unexpectedly large amount of loot – Huzzah! The second obstacle occurred as they made their way upslope to the apex of the rocky dome over the grotto. This time they were ambushed by a pack of unusually large and carnivorous flies. Getting through this they got to their destination around one of the larger skylights over the grotto and commenced their plan.

Bunny took the folding boat and dropped down the rope of climbing. Easy peasy the water was only about twenty feet down. She activated the boat got in and kept it in place as the rest of the gang descended into the strange glowing grotto. The waters were teaming with life but Ding-We was looking for something else and after a little bit he thought he had found it. An ascending passageway presented itself just above the waterline and the squawking prattle of things of the avian persuasion. The wizard wanted a dry refuge during high tide and felt this was a strong contender. 

Into the tunnel. It lead to a larger cavern full of bird things and their stinking refuse. Our hobos went to war with the colony. These birds were big 3 – 4’ tall with mostly black plumage aside from a white ring of feathers around the neck that did an excellent job of highlighting a long sharp beak, some of which were two feet long. They used these beaks to great piercing effect, as our frontline quickly learned. As more birds filled the chamber from another side passage things were getting out of hand as they became increasingly frenzied. Ding-We decided it was time to drop the hammer – the chamber was then engulfed in a ball of flame. The birds were toasted and our mob moved onto final cleanup of the few remaining birds. Afterwards they began to investigate the cavern. 

At the back was the nesting area and the only loot found was nine intact eggs. Steve thought this was a win and was excited to cook a few up. The rest of the group felt let down but really what do you expect a bunch of seabirds to actually have? The adjacent  tunnel lead outside to a guano stained ledge overlooking the great sea. More interestingly there was evidence of another passage that had collapsed. After evaluating it Rhags declared that it could be cleared. But first they would set up a base camp to support the imminent exploration of the grotto. Bunny did not care for the lingering stench and refused to set her pavilion in such a gross place – “we will be smelling this forever – ugh”.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 296582 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 270698 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 282057 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 203046 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 238829 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 352754 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Injury: -Crushed -8” H             

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 456405 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 250189 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 173128 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 170997 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 109599 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 57293 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 55424 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 40244 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  81443 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

            Injury: -5’mv from brutal arm shatter

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Boris & Camillus rehab (correction of structural injuries) for 14 days

            Elapsed: 8 days

Chung Li needs 12 weeks and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 8 days

Sloth rehab 14 days

            Elapsed: 4 days

Bimbles, dead as a doornail 

Elapsed Campaign Time

586 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Nineteen when we ask the questions:

If this is really a grotto where are the naked babes?

Will we eat the eggs or try to sell them (Steve sez yum yum)?

Has Ding-We found a good place to set camp?

Where is the evil we have come a looking for?

Tale of the Tape

Exploration Below

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Controlled seal mutation 

Giant crabs (5) 

Robber flies (6) 

Gougerbeaks (29) 

LOOT

Gougerbeak eggs (9) 

4000 sp

Jewelry (rings 3, bracelet, necklace, anklet) = 6900 gp