Carnage in the Temple of the Damned (Session 35)

 SESSION 35: Slaughter in the Temple of the Dead (19DEC16)

            First foray into the swamp. Things started out fine enough. Trudging through the bog of eternal stench, cold, bleak, choked with reeds and blanketed in fog. Then the ambush by occurred. Attacked by marginally sentient salad mounds.  This destroyed four men-at-arms, maybe five. It was hard to tell through all the gore. This encounter shook the resolve of our little army but Marr was able to lift spirits and the journey continued. We of course need to get paid.

            A couple of hours later the party approached the barrowmoor. The rolling mounds trapped the fog in its rolling landscape obscuring vision even further. The noise and stink of life attracts a horde of ravenous zombies. The ensuing battle leads to the exploration of the first plundered barrow. Afterwards a group is put to work excavating a burial mound while the rest of the hobos investigate another mound. Inside they find a secret staircase under a sarcophagus that drops into the unknown, it has been used recently. A greater burial complex of crypts and burial alcoves connected by haphazard passageways. Exploration commences and tombs are looted. Eventually the splinter group realizes that they should head back to the surface and regroup. During this time tragedy struck the digging team. Two huge scorpions hidden in the fog and attracted by the vibrations caused by the digging laid low another meatshield. 

            Day was passing onto night and the hobos had no interest in leaving even with urging to do such from the hirelings and the Boon Companions. They barricaded themselves into the barrow with the staircase, and awaited the horrors of the night. They came, a horde of zombies under the command of a ghastly being. Intelligent and vastly evil it tested and taunted the party in no rush, undead is eternal. Gallons of oil burned the invading force to ash the barricade held. Unfortunately, nothing could stop the incorporeal wraith that passed through the barricade and drained the very life from Housepants the trusted companion of Brule. With the coming of day the party descended back into Barrowmaze.  

            Crypts, tombs and burial alcoves by the hundreds all interconnected with no apparent plan. Mad passageways built without rhythm or plan. The overall effect was disorienting. Nevertheless our hobos had a job to do. Rummage this massive tomb for its wealth. As they loaded their sacks signs of other visitors became apparent. Stashes and the periodic fresh corpse. We looted and smashed any giant fly, restless dead or filthy rat that got in the way. They encountered a group of hideous mongrelmen whom along with the rest of their tribe called Barrowmaze home. Diplomacy rather than swords was implemented and they learned of the wicked Necromancers of Set and made tentative allies in the land of the dead. After this the party back tracked to a hidden cache room to rest for the night.

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 23218 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Thaumaturgist (W5) 23878 xp +5% <40001> CRT 1d10/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 22406 xp +5% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Swashbuckler (F5) 20887 xp +5% (101) <32501> CRT 1d24/V

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 16585 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 19156 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Architect (MM5) 15738 xp <22400> CRT 1d12/III

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Boris the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 18833 xp <35001> CRT 1d20/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 17764 xp <20001> CRT 1d20/II 

 

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 25112 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mar the Jester (J4) +4142 CRT 1d16/II

Ragnar (TB)

Sundarr (MaR)

Barg (TB)

Kaulder (TB)

Alwin (MaR)

Largash (MaR)

Kelloc (C1) Slept in…

Boon Companions

Sly the Medium (M1)

Brule Armstrong (F1)

Housepants (MaR)

Torvik Calanon (E1)

Selnon (MaR)

Serhtims (MaR)

Ottoic (MaR)

Grenak (MaR)

Enk (TB)

  

RESERVES

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 10801 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 11714 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338+526+512 CRT 1d16/IV

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 18060 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 12 DAYS

Sloth the Charger (L4) 11989 <16800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m)

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 12 DAYS

Lenardo the Analyst (S5) 15059 xp <25000> CRT 1d10/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 12 DAYS

Elapsed Campaign Time

86 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-six when we ask the questions:

Is it a good idea to stay here overnight?

Where is and what is that ghast up to?

How many children will need to be sold into slavery due to mutilated fathers?

Tale of the Tape

Ragnar torn in half by an angry salad

Barg pulverized by previously mentioned salad

Largash cut down to size by a humungous scorpion

Houselander drained of his life force

Selnon jumped in front of a giant fist

Serhtims jumped in front of the other fist

Ottoic choose poorly in life and died as a meatshield

Grenak  shattered by the blows of a shambling mound

Enk lost his arms to a humungous scorpion

 

KILLS 

Shambling Mounds (2) 

Ravenous Zombies (29) 

Giant Toads (2) 

Giant Rats (7)

Huge Scorpions (2) 

Wraith 

Carnivorous flies (6) 

Mongrelmen (6) FACTION Alliance 

Huecuva (6)   

LOOT

Copper candle holders (2) 

5000 cp

2200 sp

51 ep

1442 gp

64 pp

Gems (10) 

Jewelry (3) 

Earings 

Bag of Holding (NOTE: DMs get rid of these damnable things.They are a one-way ticket to lazy shitty play)

Potion of ESP

Potions of healing (3)

4, +1 arrows

Ruby 

Cudgel 

Vestiment Spider Silk

The Setup for the Next Big Thing: Barrowmaze (Session 34)

 SESSION 34: Preparation H(obo) (12DEC16)

 What is a bunch of mother fuckers to do? Just keep trudging it would seem with three hobos don and some civilians in tow it was forced march till Ironguard Motte. There was no interest in further spider based encounters. Even with the loss of the heir apparent, George and Weezie were very gracious. They set up our filthy band in the barracks at the Silver Standard Merchant Company. Winter is a slow time so a couple of weeks accommodations were provided along with free grub for the duration. The hobos spent the next couple of days getting to know some of the useful players in the merchant, trade and spiritual healing zone. 

            First up was a visit to the two key temples in town - St. Ygg and Crom. They made some donations and learned some junk about stuff and agreed to check out the barrow moors and smite some undead in exchange for potions. 

            Second was trade time to exchange the mountain of coin for some easy carrying gems.

            Third, we learned of an ancient place out in the moor full of treasure for those dumb enough to risk life and limb. Well, yes we are. And with that it was set, we would spend sometime  looting our way to Valhalla.          

            It became clear that they would need to go to Helix if they wanted access to the barrows (travel time from locations). A half day later there we were. After some meetings with the local pinheads our band made it to the local tavern, the Brazen Strumpet, and proceeded to make friends and enemies at the packed house. A horde of junior murderhobos were recruited and the legion then made plans to explore the dread tomb of tombs Barrowmaze in the morn.

            

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 23218 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Thaumaturgist (W5) 23878 xp +5% <40001> CRT 1d10/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 22406 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Swashbuckler (F5) 20887 xp +5% (101) <32501> CRT 1d24/V

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 16585 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 19156 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Architect (MM5) 15738 xp <22400> CRT 1d12/III

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Boris the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 18833 xp <35001> CRT 1d20/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 17764 xp <20001> CRT 1d20/II 

 

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 25112 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mar the Jester (J4) +4142 CRT 1d16/II

 

RESERVES

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 10801 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 11714 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338+526+512 CRT 1d16/IV

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 18060 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 14 DAYS

Sloth the Charger (L4) 11989 <16800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m)

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 14 DAYS

Lenardo the Analyst (S5) 15059 xp <25000> CRT 1d10/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 14 DAYS

Elapsed Campaign Time

83 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-five when we ask the questions:

Why is everyone telling us about the dang barrows?

Looks like we gots ourselves an army again, how long will they last?

Tale of the Tape

“Soup is good food…”, Sloth

KILLS 

None

LOOT

Zip

Eight Times the Trouble (Session 33)

 SESSION 33: The Crawling Fog (05DEC16)

     The fifth day in Greenwood rolled in on the creeping tendrils of a fog sporting unnatural thickness. Biting cold and wet, travel is slow. Eventually the trail begins to drop down and the grey gloom brightens as the trees open up. Welcome to the swamplands. Clouds of biting insects are your reward for surviving Greenwood. No time to complain smoke is on the air, then the clang of steel and from the mist runs a man covered in hundreds of egg sized spiders biting and encasing him in webbing. As quick as he appeared the mist again swallowed him and his screams. 

    Pressing on we find a bridge with an overturned caravan wagon burning and the scene of an ambush. The fog still not willing to give up all its secrets hides the true details. Little froglings leap about attacking the humans protecting the wagon. Spiders the size of mules also harangue the guards and on the other side of the bridge orchestrating the whole thing, spider-men. Bipedal tarantula-like beings 7 – 9’ tall wearing very expensive skinny jeans. Let us not get preoccupied with their modern idiot fashion sense, all hell is breaking loose. The front-line, of these beings, hurling spider baby balls that explode upon Raul and Calvin. They both fall to a thousand little bites and become encased in webbing in the blink of an eye. The big one in the back unleashes a mental attack that shows the horrors that await- all flesh will be consumed. The hobos regain their wits just as the frogmen horde closes in. We enjoy a grand melee, you imagine it I don’t have time or inclination to type it out. 

Then something strange happens, our murderhobos all of a sudden begin to fancy themselves heroes and decide to pursue the spiders with the intent of saving the soon to be victims. Treasure was also of interest they are murderhobos after all. Yes, I skipped the fight. Just like i said. The key takeaway was that the spider-things took off with their encased captives as our hobos were swarmed by the froglings (I suggest researching tarantula and frog mutualistic relationships). Into the mist in pursuit the terrain begins to rise. Moving up the hill they discover the hive of the Tarantulons and with a little bit of sneaking and murdering they get in unnoticed. 

A maze of web tubes, spider traps and sneak attacks brings our horde face-to-face with the hives broodmother Thelob. A massive bloated creature the size of a cabin sitting upon her dais flanked her hand maidens and two statues of blood red stone. Images of her master or god perhaps? A spider with the head of a wicked looking woman somewhat human and somewhat elven. They are greeted with a lightning bolt and then, as usual, hell breaks loose. Boris gets off a couple flasks of oil off and we have burning spider. Thelob lets loose a psionic blast, her alien intelligence is too much for some of our group - crushing mental capacity. Ramrod seeing the battle tipping in favour of the spider grabs a stone and has Carla cast silence on it and he dashes in.His intention is to counter Thelob’s verbal component of whatever spell she was going to drop next. The opportunity is too much for him and he performs a backstab. She is not happy and turns on him. The spider queen pummels Ramrod and then gives him the kiss of death. Ramrod falls dead. Seconds later Thelob also succumbs to mortal injury. Victory, and we save some people too but it came with a cost. A wealthy family, a couple of guardsmen and the wagon driver are in tow but no stinking treasure... 

They make a hasty retreat. Escaping the hive they are confronted by the Psychic Master and a horde of dog sized spiders. This gets messy. Lenardo falls summoning his surtuepede to return him from the brink, it does not work properly. Strange green boils rise up on one side of his face. The child also gets it, and so do the guards and driver before the battle ends. The band move further down the slope and set camp too injured to press on to the town today. But not too hurt to get treasure! Back into the hive, there must be loot to loot! 

Back in they go and this time they seem to discover more spiders and traps. Sloth falls after being swarmed by spiderlings, he saw the light but needed to come back and ask Ding-We if he should go to it or not. “Damn loyal mendicant that one”. They press on sensing treasure is near. It was, in a chamber they had not paid much attention in on the original delve. “Sheeee-it! Coulda saved us some resources”. After dealing with the males of the colony our hobos got down to sifting through decades of desiccated husks to find a veritable horde of treasure. Packing up the loot and fallen Sloth they made their way back to camp unmolested. While no one was watching Bimbles pulls a scroll from his sleeve and Ramrod becomes a little less dead. “It was him or the kid and that kid ain’t done nothing for me”. Morality out in the wilderlands is about survival and nuttin else. 

On that note, our hobos can bask in the glory of this five hour work day. They were heroic, they were hobos, they murdered the opposition and they got paid.

 ROLECALL

 Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 19998 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 19658 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d8/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 19186 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Swashbuckler (F5) 17667 xp +5% (101) <32501> CRT 1d24/V

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 13365 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 15936 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Architect (MM5) 12518 xp <22400> CRT 1d12/III

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 11839 xp <12000> CRT 1d8/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 15613 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 14544 xp <20001> CRT 1d20/II 

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 14840 xp  +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 21892 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Sloth the Charger (L4) 8769 <16800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m)

Mar the Jester (J4) +1338+526+512+156 CRT 1d16/II

 

RESERVES

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 10801 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 11714 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338+526+512 CRT 1d16/IV

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

83 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-four when we ask the questions:

What is this Ironguard Motte gonna be like?

Will the people like us now that we is heroes?

I wonder if there is any neat stuff to kill and loot in this swamp?

Tale of the Tape

Sloth became spider food and went splat (2wks)

Len-ardo was perforated and infused with venom (2wks)

Ramrod – Dead and back again (2wks)

KILLS 

Froglings (24) Defeated  

Frogling sergeants (8) Defeated 

Tarotulas (4)

Tarantulon Catcher 

Tarantulon Psionic Master  

Frogling gaurds (6) 

Tarantulon Males (4) 

Tara-Drones (15) 

Spider swarm    

Tarantulon Breeders (5) 

Thelob’s Hand Maidens (8) 

Tarantulon Brood Mother (Thelob) 

LOOT

7800 sp

2000 gp

1800 pp 

Scoll (3 x MU)

Glass shield 

Short bow of fine quality 

Spear remarkable construction

Potion of ???

Potion of ????

a Girdle 

20 gems 

Assorted jewelry 40 pieces 

Into the Greenwood (Session32)

 SESSION 32: A walk in the park (21NOV16)

            A new land covered in snow, overlooked by the tower of a mad wizard and with the endless forest Greenwood between home and us. Mar gave some insight, what little a hipster doofus city slicker can. It was decided to hit the outpost that separated the lands of Zayne from the forest for supplies before plunging into the unknown. But first the bad news, the barbarian horde have realized they were close to home (we were somewhat adjacent to the Worthless North) and as such it would be an opportune juncture to part ways. “Ya-ya, we will meet you again in Denethix after 2 months when we have seen our momma’s and addressed the portents in the night sky”. "Once we pass through the lands of man and into the great green we shall part ways". It was still a goodly ways yet, I am not sure why our knuckleheads were so quick to announce their not so imminent departure from the horde.

    With that our hobos moved down and across the rolling hills, that once was home to a mighty coniferous forest that held Greenwood and its gnarled oaks back was now just a field of stumps. A day and a half later they approached the outpost that guarded the bridge between the lands of Zayne and Greenwood the Great. Ramrod led the expeditionary incumbent along with the barbarians to check it out. The rest of the party found a copse of trees along the river to hunker down in. 

            Nothing interesting, largely just a border stop providing basic caravan supplies and related taxation. After spending some time in line the gang stated their business and were assessed a passage fee. From here the barbarians pressed on towards the mountain range separating the lands of Zayne from the Worthless North. Ramrod and company spent some time talking to the traders in the customs line outside the outpost. They gathered some information on the first leg of their journey it would take 5 or so days to reach the nearest settlement and Ramrod learned the first (and only) rule of Greenwood- don’t leave the path.

            So they shambled on down the road until they were adjacent to the rest of our mob on the other bank. Out came the folding boat and wave after wave of murderhobo made it across the river. An hour or so later they stood before Greenwood’s great gaping maw. Ancient oak trees tangled together over the ages ominously discouraging incursion. Strangely, even with a blanket of snow the trees refused to give up their foliage. Nothing controls Greenwood the Great not even winter. Nevertheless the road plunged in, quickly becoming rutted and treacherous in the abyssal gloom that readily swallowed the hobos. Day was like night and night was absolute. 

    An unexpected encounter with a gypsy caravan late in the afternoon. Trade and talk followed by a quick drink and song before the gypsy’s had to make haste to exit the forest before nightfall. Midday of the second, corpses were discovered. Men, gnolls and halflings recently deceased. It appears that the halflings had been the ambushers. Scouting efforts intensified as we moved on. It paid off. Team Sneaky Fuckers & Rubber Leg (TSF&RL), Saffron coined that, consisting of Bunny, Ramrod and Saff caught sight of the halflings at their apparent ambush station. It sounds unlikely but the little guys had their attention elsewhere and did not note our group. This was further confirmed when the halflings spooked just before our hobos could get to them. A short time later the presumed spookers almost crushed Bunny as they burst onto the path. Five minotaurs, they could smell Bunny a different and tastier scent than the one they had been tracking. The rest of the hobos used surprise to their advantage and cut the minotuars into ribbons. Again the forest was deathly silent until night. 

    During camp that evening all sorts of things could be heard, scurrying, scratching and unfathomable communications but nothing broke the camp. The third day came bleak as the previous. Passing with the utter absence of any other life. The fourth day was trouble straight through. 

    Something big was flying around and killing. This being later confirmed by a hole on the canopy as something of great strength and had smashed through in a killing ambush. Only leaving destruction and a splattering of blood. Moving ahead TSF&RL again have the good fortune to catch creatures in wait and unaware. Horse sized spiders hairy and with two suction cup arms flanking grossly oversized mandibles. “Looks like its death from above” Mar then sets a stinking cloud ahead and above, see how the spiders like that. It would have been a perfect plan but only a portion of them came from above. Mind you, that lot was incapacitated and selected for easy murder. The fight raged but the cloud had done its job and provided our hobos with advantage. Still it took a team effort to save Lenardo’s life as one spider just seemed to have his number. After the battle they pressed on in anticipation of finding one of the forest settlements either Steeplejack Motte or Helix. Greenwood was not ready to let then out quite yet. So they set camp in hope that the fifth day would be rewarding. 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 19642 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 19302 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d8/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 18830 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 17210 xp +5% (101) <16251> CRT 1d20/IV : Levelled up midsession, now a Swashbuckler

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 13009 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 15580 xp <15000> CRT 1d16/II : Levelled up midsession, now a Wayfarer

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 12162 xp <11200> CRT 1d10/III : Levelled up midsession, now a Architect

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 11483 xp <12000> CRT 1d8/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 15257 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T4) 14288 xp <20001> CRT 1d16/II : Levelled up midsession, now actually a Burglar

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 14584 xp  +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 21536 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 10801 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 11714 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Sloth the Brute (L3) 8413 <8400> CRT 1d16/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m) : Levelled up midsession, now a Charger

Mar the Jester (J4) +1338+526+512 CRT 1d16/II

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338+526+512 CRT 1d16/IV

 

RESERVES

Empty

Elapsed Campaign Time

78 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-three when we ask the questions:

Who really is in charge of this forest?

Its been five days why ain’t we at where we want to be?

Are we being stalked?

Why won’t Ramrod leave the path?

Has Ramrod been replaced by a cautious doppelgänger?

Will those of us that gained a level remember to check our CRIT dice?

Tale of the Tape

Nothing to report

KILLS 

Halfling Kill Squad (AVOIDED) 

Minotaurs (5) 

Trolls feasting on a stag (AVOIDED)

Rhagodessa (12) 

LOOT

3000 sp

444 cp

Freedom! (Session 31)

 SESSION 31: Prisoners no more (12NOV16)

            Cleaning the devilish goo from their weapons our party approached a stairway that bore inscriptions upon each step. Ding-We succeeds his INT check to provide the following revelation, “Definitely magic, definitely”. After much head scratching they go with scratching the runes it works, and they slowly scratch their way to the top. Corridor or another stairwell? Corridor! It leads to a chamber with a creepy looking vine in it. Back to the stairs! This lead to a pitch black chamber, just because, that eventually resulted in stumbling on a long forgotten, and hidden, corridor with some dusty swag. Pushing ahead we enter a far more finished chamber with a table and seating for two, one of which could be a child, around a game of chess. We steal that. And push on. Finding a weird corridor and some climbing rungs. After some recon by Saffron the party climbs the first set to the next level of the pinnacle.

            Entering through a trap door the party found themselves in a dust covered storage room. After some searching and creeping they enter into a sitting room lined with cages on one side and benches with tools and apparatuses on the other and a heavy curtain drawn across the back. The first two cages are jam packed with horrible little creatures sagging as if constantly melting with a putrid pink flesh that began to wail and curse in an unfathomable language as they noted our hobos.  The third cage was blessedly empty, but the forth contained a beautiful but beaten humanoid female with the pointiest of ears. With a look of hope in her eyes, 

            “I’m Evelyn and Baal has used me for terrible experiments, Let me out quickly I can help you defeat him and my father will reward you richly for saving me”. With more desperation as the band contemplates this, 

            “Hurry Baal will be here any moment!”

Well I guess our hobos are somewhat saints in their own way and have never lost track of what is best in life. Stolen treasure is what’s best and this crazy bitch just don’t seem right, maybe we will come back when we are done. 

            “You piss fuck goats”, Evelyn’s face contorting and returning to its natural configuration as she screamed. Revealing the hag beneath the charade. 

            “YUCK”

            “ Look here you snot-knobs ya I am a hag and I am powerful and I can reward you and yes I want that shit-knuckle Baal dead, A teamup for certain victory!”

            “Yuck”

            “Slug-jizz! I can make you powerful the power of the darkside is totally awesome powerful and I can show you the way!”

            “Yuck”

            “You will die in a ditch without me, you will be sex toys for aardvarks!”

            “Yuck”, walking towards the curtain with a now expanded range of curses covering their backs. Pulling back the curtain exposes Baal’s laboratory all sorts of crazy alchemical things going on in here and Baal is here too! A book in one hand a staff in the other and a horn around his neck. Instead of going into his villain monologue he opens his book and nine little and demonic men leap from its pages, then pointing his staff at Rufus a streak of magic connects the two just for a moment. Rufus in the matter of seconds ages into dust. “Ya, you idiots are screwing with the wrong boss monster”. Some smart planning, and initiative, on our gang’s behalf catches invisible Verdigris waiting to plunge his poisonous barb into someone. Ding-We gets off a web and tangles the little bugger right up. All sorts of shit ensues little men a leaping and releasing captives for the back attack, a sleeping hellhound awkens, another barbed devil shows up and buries its hand in Rahgnar’s chest pulling out life force- Kali Maaaa! Baal summons also skeletons and giant ticks all the while unleashing his black magics. The hobos stay on their toes and stay one step ahead of impending doom eventually standing tall in a gory mess of victory. 

            Obviously searching and looting occurred next followed by the big exit scene from Baal’s realm returning to the maze with the final keystone. 

            They open the giant double doors (these things are more common than you would figure - voice from the future), a circular chamber with a spiral staircase leading up. They enter, the doors closing behind. Holding back on the urge to race up the stairwell they check out the chamber and find a secret passage with stairs going down. Well this predicament slowed things down for a while until our crew realized, perhaps with some divine influence, that there was a good chance that the Maze of Zayne was likely right underneath the Tower of Zayne. 

            “Perhaps the secret passage is the way to go”.  

The steps descended for 100’ before ending in a corridor that went off into the inky abyss. After 500 or so feet the temperature began to noticeable decrease. Another 500’ and came to an end blocked by rocks and dense brambles. After digging for a couple of hours, daylight began to appear and our little worms squirmed their way out. 

            “What the shit is this?!?”

A snow covered rolling landscape leading down to a massive snow topped forest. 

            “Where the hell are we?”

            “Oh that is Greenwood the Great”, points out our local expert Mar.

            “Where is Denethix?”

            “Never heard of it, this countryside is ruled by Zayne, doi, and his city Rembala is nearby we should use caution when moving across these lands”.

             And so, we are out of the maze but not back in Kansas. Out of the pot, into the frying pan.

 

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 18618 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 18278 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d8/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 17806 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 16186 xp +5% (101) <16251> CRT 1d20/IV

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 12985 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 14556 xp <15000> CRT 1d16/II

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own                                               nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 11138 xp <11200> CRT 1d10/III

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 10459 xp <12000> CRT 1d8/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 14233 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 13264 xp <20001> CRT 1d16/II

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 13560 xp  +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 20512 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 10289 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 11202 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Sloth the Brute (L3) 7681 <8400> CRT 1d16/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m)

Mar the Jester (J4) +1338+526 CRT 1d16/II

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338+526 CRT 1d16/IV

Rufus the Marginally Friendly Dire Wolverine CRT 1d10/M

 

RESERVES

Empty

Elapsed Campaign Time

76 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-two when we ask the questions:

Well where to now?

Tale of the Tape

Rufus lived all of his days in the flash of an eye and a gout of gore, just the way he wanted it.

KILLS 

Ike the barbed devil 

Verdigris the imp 

Lemures (32)

Elvahk the night hag 

Baal 

Spirits of Baal (7)

Bobo the Hellhound

Skeletons (6) 

Giant ticks (4) 

LOOT

 

200 pp

2 potions of remove disease

Scroll (dispel evil, neutralize poison, raise dead)

Cloak of Spidery Design 

Staff of Withering 

Horn of Malboge

Treaty of Malbolge

Potion of featherfall

Potion of flying

Book of Momentous Phases

Whole bunch of Science stuff (1 stone in weight)

Golden diamond necklace with cameo 

Green Dragon vase 

Small stuffed warthog & bendable golden nosering

Stone Jug

Onyx statue Dog

Bronze rod

Teak wood staff

Lots of books

Keep on Marching (Session 30)

 SESSION 30: Mountain in the Desert (22OCT16)

             And so it begins again, looking across the chasm spanned only by an ancient sandstone bridge that leads past two stone markers poorly suggesting the way through the dunes. A little bit of rope and caution gets the first batch of hobos across. It was easy enough until the stone markers started to glow activating some malevolent magics. Most likely the sand storm that appeared out of nowhere and is racing towards the party. Risks were taken and the horde made it across and raced into the dunes with the clearly murderous weather pattern at their heels. A tunnel in a dune seems like to good of an option to ignore. 

            It seems to be a structure lost and forgotten to the ages, slowly losing to the oppressive weight of the sand. For now it is safer than the storm outside waiting to scour flesh from bone. Some searching and creeping reveals that this was once a church of some sort, a fresco depicts the story of a great exodus as a cleric watches his flock moves towards the horizon. Some neat stuff is discovered shortly thereafter in a hidden corridor that, if its possible, a room with whom appears to be the lost cleric. Alive all these many years and yet not looking much different from the painting he reveals himself as.. a total dick. At this juncture our hobos back off, remembering another corridor to explore. They find a collapsed corridor and end up finding another way to Nonegh’s chamber. The return visit sends him into a rage and it looks like its time for a beat down. What appeared as easy loot become more complex when Nonegh summons a horde of man-eating apes to his side. It is not enough though when your opponents are depraved murderhobos sporting a blood thirsty giant wolverine. Rufus lead the charge to victory. Some neat and strange things (jar of coloured sand) were acquired. The cleric’s room room was another dead end due to another collapsed corridor and so the party decided to rest and wait out the storm.

            The following morning was hot and bright, we are in a desert so what do you expect? On the horizon a mountainous chunk of rock sat like a forgotten toy in a sandbox and the road was pointed right at it. The march was uneventful. They stood at the foot of this monolith. Baal’s Pinnacle, a slab of rock jutting 200’ into the air and well over 300’ in radius revealed. A sloping, partially covered trail leads up to a cave mouth on the pinnacle’s northern side.

            Entering the cave, rough hewn and jagged walls and ceiling with a somewhat smoother granite floor. The floor partially covered in sand rock and bones of humanoid and/or humans long without name. Initial exploration leads to the precipice of a chamber. What lays beyond obscured by a being not of this world a 9’ man-like thing, red-skinned with a barbed tail and horns sprouting without order covering its body. A wave of fear washes over our hobos as it introduces itself. “I’m Ish and you are meat”. It waves its hand and stepping from it another similar creature appears. “I’m Mael. And we are going to Fuck You Up”. These things, these devils even though only two facing a legion of garbage eating hobos fought with the powers of Gehenna. Waves of fear and blasphemous magics quickly reduced oppositional forces but our hobos persisted until “poof” in a cloud stink worse than dog farts. The devils were gone. The chamber held five ancient coffins cracked and exposing the husks of those once interred. 

            Grave robbing! Exposed some junk and some stuff worth loading up our pack just a bit more..

 

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 17565 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 17225 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d8/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 16753 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 15133 xp +5% (101) <16251> CRT 1d20/IV

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 11932 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 13503 xp <15000> CRT 1d16/II

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 10085 xp <11200> CRT 1d10/III

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 9406 xp <12000> CRT 1d8/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 13180 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 12211 xp <20001> CRT 1d16/II

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 12507 xp  +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 19459 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 9763 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 10676 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Sloth the Brute (L3) 7155 <8400> CRT 1d16/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m)

Mar the Jester (J4) +1338 CRT 1d16/II

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338 CRT 1d16/IV

Rufus the Marginally Friendly Dire Wolverine CRT 1d10/M

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

75 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-one when we ask the questions:

Are we going to be done finally?!?

Tale of the Tape

Nothing to report...

KILLS 

Nonegh the long forgotten cleric of something also long forgotten

Man-eating Apes (10)

Ish & Mael two bad-assed mutha fuckin barbed devils

 

LOOT

Mace “Heavy Hand”

278 pp

180 ep

460 gp

180 cp

Onyx & gold neckbands (4) 

Ivory scroll case (2 spells:C)

Jar of Sand

Potions (3) Invis, Cure Mod x2

Corroded silver pendant 

Javelin