Freedom! (Session 31)

 SESSION 31: Prisoners no more (12NOV16)

            Cleaning the devilish goo from their weapons our party approached a stairway that bore inscriptions upon each step. Ding-We succeeds his INT check to provide the following revelation, “Definitely magic, definitely”. After much head scratching they go with scratching the runes it works, and they slowly scratch their way to the top. Corridor or another stairwell? Corridor! It leads to a chamber with a creepy looking vine in it. Back to the stairs! This lead to a pitch black chamber, just because, that eventually resulted in stumbling on a long forgotten, and hidden, corridor with some dusty swag. Pushing ahead we enter a far more finished chamber with a table and seating for two, one of which could be a child, around a game of chess. We steal that. And push on. Finding a weird corridor and some climbing rungs. After some recon by Saffron the party climbs the first set to the next level of the pinnacle.

            Entering through a trap door the party found themselves in a dust covered storage room. After some searching and creeping they enter into a sitting room lined with cages on one side and benches with tools and apparatuses on the other and a heavy curtain drawn across the back. The first two cages are jam packed with horrible little creatures sagging as if constantly melting with a putrid pink flesh that began to wail and curse in an unfathomable language as they noted our hobos.  The third cage was blessedly empty, but the forth contained a beautiful but beaten humanoid female with the pointiest of ears. With a look of hope in her eyes, 

            “I’m Evelyn and Baal has used me for terrible experiments, Let me out quickly I can help you defeat him and my father will reward you richly for saving me”. With more desperation as the band contemplates this, 

            “Hurry Baal will be here any moment!”

Well I guess our hobos are somewhat saints in their own way and have never lost track of what is best in life. Stolen treasure is what’s best and this crazy bitch just don’t seem right, maybe we will come back when we are done. 

            “You piss fuck goats”, Evelyn’s face contorting and returning to its natural configuration as she screamed. Revealing the hag beneath the charade. 

            “YUCK”

            “ Look here you snot-knobs ya I am a hag and I am powerful and I can reward you and yes I want that shit-knuckle Baal dead, A teamup for certain victory!”

            “Yuck”

            “Slug-jizz! I can make you powerful the power of the darkside is totally awesome powerful and I can show you the way!”

            “Yuck”

            “You will die in a ditch without me, you will be sex toys for aardvarks!”

            “Yuck”, walking towards the curtain with a now expanded range of curses covering their backs. Pulling back the curtain exposes Baal’s laboratory all sorts of crazy alchemical things going on in here and Baal is here too! A book in one hand a staff in the other and a horn around his neck. Instead of going into his villain monologue he opens his book and nine little and demonic men leap from its pages, then pointing his staff at Rufus a streak of magic connects the two just for a moment. Rufus in the matter of seconds ages into dust. “Ya, you idiots are screwing with the wrong boss monster”. Some smart planning, and initiative, on our gang’s behalf catches invisible Verdigris waiting to plunge his poisonous barb into someone. Ding-We gets off a web and tangles the little bugger right up. All sorts of shit ensues little men a leaping and releasing captives for the back attack, a sleeping hellhound awkens, another barbed devil shows up and buries its hand in Rahgnar’s chest pulling out life force- Kali Maaaa! Baal summons also skeletons and giant ticks all the while unleashing his black magics. The hobos stay on their toes and stay one step ahead of impending doom eventually standing tall in a gory mess of victory. 

            Obviously searching and looting occurred next followed by the big exit scene from Baal’s realm returning to the maze with the final keystone. 

            They open the giant double doors (these things are more common than you would figure - voice from the future), a circular chamber with a spiral staircase leading up. They enter, the doors closing behind. Holding back on the urge to race up the stairwell they check out the chamber and find a secret passage with stairs going down. Well this predicament slowed things down for a while until our crew realized, perhaps with some divine influence, that there was a good chance that the Maze of Zayne was likely right underneath the Tower of Zayne. 

            “Perhaps the secret passage is the way to go”.  

The steps descended for 100’ before ending in a corridor that went off into the inky abyss. After 500 or so feet the temperature began to noticeable decrease. Another 500’ and came to an end blocked by rocks and dense brambles. After digging for a couple of hours, daylight began to appear and our little worms squirmed their way out. 

            “What the shit is this?!?”

A snow covered rolling landscape leading down to a massive snow topped forest. 

            “Where the hell are we?”

            “Oh that is Greenwood the Great”, points out our local expert Mar.

            “Where is Denethix?”

            “Never heard of it, this countryside is ruled by Zayne, doi, and his city Rembala is nearby we should use caution when moving across these lands”.

             And so, we are out of the maze but not back in Kansas. Out of the pot, into the frying pan.

 

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 18618 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 18278 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d8/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 17806 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 16186 xp +5% (101) <16251> CRT 1d20/IV

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 12985 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 14556 xp <15000> CRT 1d16/II

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own                                               nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 11138 xp <11200> CRT 1d10/III

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 10459 xp <12000> CRT 1d8/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 14233 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 13264 xp <20001> CRT 1d16/II

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 13560 xp  +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 20512 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 10289 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 11202 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Sloth the Brute (L3) 7681 <8400> CRT 1d16/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m)

Mar the Jester (J4) +1338+526 CRT 1d16/II

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338+526 CRT 1d16/IV

Rufus the Marginally Friendly Dire Wolverine CRT 1d10/M

 

RESERVES

Empty

Elapsed Campaign Time

76 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-two when we ask the questions:

Well where to now?

Tale of the Tape

Rufus lived all of his days in the flash of an eye and a gout of gore, just the way he wanted it.

KILLS 

Ike the barbed devil 

Verdigris the imp 

Lemures (32)

Elvahk the night hag 

Baal 

Spirits of Baal (7)

Bobo the Hellhound

Skeletons (6) 

Giant ticks (4) 

LOOT

 

200 pp

2 potions of remove disease

Scroll (dispel evil, neutralize poison, raise dead)

Cloak of Spidery Design 

Staff of Withering 

Horn of Malboge

Treaty of Malbolge

Potion of featherfall

Potion of flying

Book of Momentous Phases

Whole bunch of Science stuff (1 stone in weight)

Golden diamond necklace with cameo 

Green Dragon vase 

Small stuffed warthog & bendable golden nosering

Stone Jug

Onyx statue Dog

Bronze rod

Teak wood staff

Lots of books

Keep on Marching (Session 30)

 SESSION 30: Mountain in the Desert (22OCT16)

             And so it begins again, looking across the chasm spanned only by an ancient sandstone bridge that leads past two stone markers poorly suggesting the way through the dunes. A little bit of rope and caution gets the first batch of hobos across. It was easy enough until the stone markers started to glow activating some malevolent magics. Most likely the sand storm that appeared out of nowhere and is racing towards the party. Risks were taken and the horde made it across and raced into the dunes with the clearly murderous weather pattern at their heels. A tunnel in a dune seems like to good of an option to ignore. 

            It seems to be a structure lost and forgotten to the ages, slowly losing to the oppressive weight of the sand. For now it is safer than the storm outside waiting to scour flesh from bone. Some searching and creeping reveals that this was once a church of some sort, a fresco depicts the story of a great exodus as a cleric watches his flock moves towards the horizon. Some neat stuff is discovered shortly thereafter in a hidden corridor that, if its possible, a room with whom appears to be the lost cleric. Alive all these many years and yet not looking much different from the painting he reveals himself as.. a total dick. At this juncture our hobos back off, remembering another corridor to explore. They find a collapsed corridor and end up finding another way to Nonegh’s chamber. The return visit sends him into a rage and it looks like its time for a beat down. What appeared as easy loot become more complex when Nonegh summons a horde of man-eating apes to his side. It is not enough though when your opponents are depraved murderhobos sporting a blood thirsty giant wolverine. Rufus lead the charge to victory. Some neat and strange things (jar of coloured sand) were acquired. The cleric’s room room was another dead end due to another collapsed corridor and so the party decided to rest and wait out the storm.

            The following morning was hot and bright, we are in a desert so what do you expect? On the horizon a mountainous chunk of rock sat like a forgotten toy in a sandbox and the road was pointed right at it. The march was uneventful. They stood at the foot of this monolith. Baal’s Pinnacle, a slab of rock jutting 200’ into the air and well over 300’ in radius revealed. A sloping, partially covered trail leads up to a cave mouth on the pinnacle’s northern side.

            Entering the cave, rough hewn and jagged walls and ceiling with a somewhat smoother granite floor. The floor partially covered in sand rock and bones of humanoid and/or humans long without name. Initial exploration leads to the precipice of a chamber. What lays beyond obscured by a being not of this world a 9’ man-like thing, red-skinned with a barbed tail and horns sprouting without order covering its body. A wave of fear washes over our hobos as it introduces itself. “I’m Ish and you are meat”. It waves its hand and stepping from it another similar creature appears. “I’m Mael. And we are going to Fuck You Up”. These things, these devils even though only two facing a legion of garbage eating hobos fought with the powers of Gehenna. Waves of fear and blasphemous magics quickly reduced oppositional forces but our hobos persisted until “poof” in a cloud stink worse than dog farts. The devils were gone. The chamber held five ancient coffins cracked and exposing the husks of those once interred. 

            Grave robbing! Exposed some junk and some stuff worth loading up our pack just a bit more..

 

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 17565 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 17225 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d8/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 16753 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 15133 xp +5% (101) <16251> CRT 1d20/IV

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 11932 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 13503 xp <15000> CRT 1d16/II

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 10085 xp <11200> CRT 1d10/III

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 9406 xp <12000> CRT 1d8/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 13180 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 12211 xp <20001> CRT 1d16/II

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 12507 xp  +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 19459 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 9763 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 10676 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Sloth the Brute (L3) 7155 <8400> CRT 1d16/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m)

Mar the Jester (J4) +1338 CRT 1d16/II

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338 CRT 1d16/IV

Rufus the Marginally Friendly Dire Wolverine CRT 1d10/M

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

75 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-one when we ask the questions:

Are we going to be done finally?!?

Tale of the Tape

Nothing to report...

KILLS 

Nonegh the long forgotten cleric of something also long forgotten

Man-eating Apes (10)

Ish & Mael two bad-assed mutha fuckin barbed devils

 

LOOT

Mace “Heavy Hand”

278 pp

180 ep

460 gp

180 cp

Onyx & gold neckbands (4) 

Ivory scroll case (2 spells:C)

Jar of Sand

Potions (3) Invis, Cure Mod x2

Corroded silver pendant 

Javelin 

Frozen Balls and Hot Feet (Session 29)

 SESSION 29: Memories of Green (25SEPT16)

Returning to the maze with the second crystal to door number three we went. To a frost bitten ice ball of a pocket-plane. Sub-zero temperature and biting winds immediately cut into our horde. Frost bitten nipples and other such pleasantries. If the weather was not bad enough a host of glowing orbs shot down from the sky and arose as angry icy ogres. 

            A day or so later we were ambushed by mephits, icy and yet foul smelling twisted creatures of a bleak fey origin. They buffeted the hobos with magic missiles until Rufus and Boris chased them from their hidden perches. This is when things went bad for the foul creatures and the party quickly chopped them up. No shiny loot but a bunch of wolf pelts that ended up being a rather timely acquisition. 

            Ever onward, ingenuity finally flared up as web shelters help survive the bleak rest periods until they came upon a massive staircase. Buried within was Ustass mightiest of frost wurms. And he flared up when the time was dramatically right, as our horde of Hobos traversed along his spine. Woe to Ustass though, the Hobos quickly gained advantage and a deal was struck – treasure for life. Ustass departed to retrieve his horde and our relentless band traversed the steps into Polharn’s citadel.  A walkway flanked with hundreds of frozen emissaries lead them to the gatekeeper a pale and loathsome fellow whom directed them further. Into Polharn’s throne room he awaited naked, and creepy, he sat. 

            “Boons to each I offer, what are your desires?” 

Millimeters away from total death; our party looked away from greed and requested their goal. The gemstone was now in hand.

            "Now be gone little worms, your time is limited you are now the hunted"

 With their dismissal they made a hasty retreat back across this frozen realm. Trailed by wolves as they fled. A mighty final battle occurred just before escape.

            Back in the maze, to the final pocket dimension and it's key. This time they must traverse a burning desert. 

They arrived on a hill that looked down upon what appeared to be a sizeable camp populated by nomads.

            “These guys look like the pleasant sort, let us go introduce ourselves.”

Not shocking to me, massive mayhem ensued. Living in a brutally harsh desert does something to one's worldview and general social skills. As our Hobos fought to turn back the tide of feral nomads a bit of timely persuasion ended the ruckus – at least for the interim… They ran. Ending at a chasm spanned by a bridge hardly wide enough for one man to cross.

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 16826 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 16486 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d8/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 16014 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 14394 xp +5% (101) <16251> CRT 1d20/IV

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 11193 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 12764 xp <15000> CRT 1d16/II

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 9346 xp <11200> CRT 1d10/III

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 8667 xp <12000> CRT 1d8/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 12441 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 11472 xp <20001> CRT 1d16/II

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 11768 xp  +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 18720 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 9393 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 10306 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Sloth the Brute (L3) 6416 <8400> CRT 1d16/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m)

Mar the Jester (J4) +140 +478 +350 CRT 1d16/II

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +140 +478 +350 CRT 1d16/IV

Rufus the Marginally Friendly Dire Wolverine CRT 1d10/M

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

71 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty when we ask the questions:

How bloody much further?

Do we even remember life outside the maze?

And what is we going to do once we is on the outside?

Tale of the Tape

Bah.

KILLS 

Igresh (6)

Ice Mephits (7)

Ustass

Hounds of Poharn (4)

A whole bunch of nomads

LOOT

Battle Axe “Population Control” d12; Crit 19-20; Hits magical

Ring

Shield (+2) wood and iron

Potions of cure serious (4)

A horde of opals and pearls (110) 

Rocky Mountain High (Session 28)

 SESSION 28: Rocky Mountain High (22AUG16)

 Wiping off the stirge goo and gore we pressed ahead ever closer to the citadel. A day or so later the path began to descend from the mountain pass to a tunnel. Here our intrepid band discovered the joy of piercers but were also rewarded with a handful of tourmalines. Exiting the tunnel they were a scant couple of miles from their objective with night fast approaching. Preparations were needed and so was camp. 

            Early the next day the hobos stood before a massive citadel carved into the living stone of a massive mountain. An open portal flanked by two colossal pillars awaited our band. They pressed on to be greeted by the door-thing. A giant winged black beast with a serpentine like neck that ended with a vile lamprey type maw. Spewing forth black vomit as well as the noxious gases of its intestinal tract. The fighting commenced and the beast was beaten but not before we relived the pie-eating contest from Stand By Me. Spit rinse and press on, cannot afford to waste any water.  They pressed on.

            A strange grey magical light illuminated the fortress. Not that it needed to be more uninviting, there were, what appeared to be, statues of other murderhobos everywhere in various poses. Sneaking, walking, talking, running, fighting and screaming probably a grim portent rather than something’s bizarre aesthetic choice. Press ahead a fast as possible, nothing to see here. The corridor opened into a large cavern devoid of light. Another fine place for an ambush and it was. Gargoyles were perched along the vale and they sprung to life. Weapons were broken, a helmet saved a life and the gargoyles were defeated. The chamber revealed two giant carved faces. 

            “No fucking way, we are getting out of here!” 

Down a side passage they went. Leading to an attack by a writhing horde of giant silverfish. 

            “Let us go the other way, we just need to find the key and get the hell out”

Back into the main chamber they now went northeast, right into the waiting two-headed troll Koroc & Bobo lietenant to Enot the master of this realm. Nine feet tall incased in stone armor and wielding a gigantic stalactite of maybe stalagmite, it is tough to tell after the fact. Perhaps he should not have monologued for so long as it cost him/them the advantage. Our hobos were unexpectedly on the ball and beat my poor boss down in the blink of an eye. Koroc & Bobo then exploded leaving only a pile stone powder, a few pebbles and exactly what was needed – the second keystone. Never ones to quit they moved to the next chamber. This circular room had a large opening in its ceiling. The sound of creatures flying about and squawking could be heard above. 

            “Nope, no way, treasure be damned let’s get out of here”

And so our band of brave robins turned tail and ran for the next 2 days until they returned to the door carved into the mountainside. 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 16127 xp +10% <25001>

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 15787 xp +5% <20001>

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 15315 xp +5%  <25001>

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 13695 xp +5% (101) <16251>

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 10494 xp  <17501>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 12165 xp <15000>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 8647 xp <11200>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 7968 xp <12000>

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 11742 xp <17501>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 10773 xp <10001>

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 18021 <32501>

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 11069 xp  +5% <20001>

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 9043 <16251>

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 9956 <16251>

Sloth the Brute (L3) 6066 <8400>

Mar the Jester +140 +478

Hrolga the Amazon +140 +478

Rufus the Marginally Friendly Dire Wolverine

 

RESERVES

None

Elapsed Campaign Time

66 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session twenty-nine when we ask the questions:

Is we gonna make through two more of these?

Will the vampire and were-tigress be waiting for us this time?

Tale of the Tape

Ramrod has arisen from his comma mostly ok, if we disregard that dangling dead arm of his. Perhaps a professional should look that at?

KILLS 

Piercers (25)

Gargoyle (4) 

Gargoyle 4-Armed (2) 

Fell Beast 

Silverfish Giant (10) 

Koroc & Bobo the Two-Headed Troll-kin 

LOOT

Green Tourmalines (5)

Dimension Hoping (Session 27)

 SESSION 27: Keep on Chooglin’ (1Aug16)

            Leaving the burning bridge behind the horde make double time for a place to rest. A cold camp is made just off the road the night passes uneventfully. The morning begins with the claxon of a horn in the distance. Saffron quickly flies off to set up a decoy camp as the rest of the gang prepares an ambush. Amazingly it works. A web dismounts one hunter another falls to the grip of hold person and the third hunter learned what a murderhobo gangbang feels like. They fell upon the hunters like cannibalistic primates no suffering was too much. Sloth eviscerates one of the horses as he launches from the underbrush with his lance. As quickly as it started it was over. Let the looting commence!

            Pressing northward, as directed, the hobos discover a giant oak with a man-sized passage in it. Once inside they discover a chamber darkened and yet clearly larger than the tree should be. A pair of piercing yellow eyes watches from the darkness followed by a disembodied voice gives greeting. Stepping forth is an ethereal fox, “So you want to get out of here? Well I got me a hankering for some sacrifices”. Eventually a deal was sealed and our mob gains possession of the first keystone returning them to the maze as if they had never left.

            To the next portal they went. A mountainous place offering a precarious trail that leads to a fortress to claim the second keystone. A number of hours later the trail leads into a tight valley. This would be a great place for the imminent ambush to occur. From above two giants hurdle boulders to pin the party down as a horde of orks spill from a cave and two ogres join from the side. Further boulders fly but they miss the mark and the grunts are two disorganized to hit their targets and so our hobos spring to action. The orcs are dropped by duel casted sleep spells and Rufus proves that ogres are still just a snack. With the ambush filing the giants leap into the fray, swinging tree sized clubs. I presume that maybe their eyesight (depth perception) wasn’t all that great. This gave the party the chance to swarm and topple the pair with relative ease. After some looting we moved on. A day and a half later the trail narrows to 3’ pass that drops a 1000’ into the unknown abyss. Another great place for the unwary to be ambushed and so no one really noticed the horde of stirges until they were upon the party. Luck and strong magic sent the bloodsuckers to their end. Unfortunately this allowed a second flock from below to get the jump. Proboscises punched into flesh, Calvin swung wildly as one began to drink from his thigh causing him to loose his footing and begin tumbling to his doom. Bunny, Sloth and Rahgnar all forgot about personal safety and leapt towards Calvin as he rolled towards certain death. He was grabbed at the last possible second. The fight continued but the party motivated by luck and good fortune brought things to an end and made double time to get past this perilous pass. Wounds were bandaged and brows were wiped, not much further now…

 ROLECALL

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 15171 xp +10% <25001>

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 14831 xp +5% <20001>

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 14359 xp +5%  <25001>

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 12739 xp +5% (101) <16251>

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 9538 xp  <17501>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 11209 xp <15000>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 7691 xp <11200>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 7012 xp <12000>

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 10786 xp <17501>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T4) 9817 xp <10001>

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 17065 <32501>

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 8565 <16251>

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 9478 <16251>

Sloth the Brute (L3) 5588 <8400>

Mar the Jester +140

Hrolga the Amazon +140

Rufus the Marginally Friendly Dire Wolverine

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 11069 xp  +5% <20001> Comatose and invisible

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

Elapsed Campaign Time

63 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session twenty-eight when we ask the questions:

When are we getting to the mountain fortress?

Where is the next keystone?

Tale of the Tape

Calvin died unsuccessfully

KILLS 

Lord Strausburry, Master of the Hunt

Master Vulpine

Jauson, Ovar’s Champion Huntsman

Stone giants (2)

Orks (15)

Ogres (2)

Stirges (44)

LOOT

7520 gp

3500 sp

The Hunters Become the Hunted (Session 26)

 SESSION 26: Burnt Bridge (25 July 16)

            Common sense has won the moment; we will not be pursuing those two evil chicks. Instead the party decides to go back to the lair indulge in the lavish meal and then press on in search of the exit. Going south they find four doors that lead to four dimensional portals that lead to four keys to unlock the exits four locks. Seems straight forward…

            After much time deliberating the idgits finally decide to enter the Happy Hunting Grounds in search of the first “key”. They are on a wooded hill overlooking a quaint looking village. Deciding to have a cold camp here the party rests up and gives poor old Grunk the boot. “Nobody wants a bugbear in their town”, horribly species-ist but Grunk thinks this new dimension is way better than the maze. Down to the village they strolled. Its celebration day for tomorrow is the hunt! The townsfolk are joyous and pleasant. Our group spends the day roaming and trading. All is well.

            Until. Later that evening as they prepare to bed down a cryptic message is slid under the door. Informing our Hobos that not only are they the guests of honor they are the hunt and should make a hasty and unseen escape. The usual comical plotting occurs until they eventually actually look at their surroundings and realize escape is a quick and easy hop out the window. They get a mile or so out of town before the alarm is raised. The hunt is on!

            They use their bag of big animals and magic whistle to send a triumvirate of dire beasts to delay the pursuers and then push on double time. After much arguing as to the “true meaning” of the note they leave the road and plunge into an orchard. Coming face to face with six mounted nights whom demand a toll. Hobos despise parting with treasure. Battle ensued; magic whistle broke the ranks as steeds were given counter directions and this assured victory. It came at a cost though, the hunting party was much closer. Grabbing a few easy items they then ran. Saffron was sent up to scout and returned quickly with bad news. The hunting party had not only BIG doggies but birds as well, “GIANT mother fucking dick hole eagles, I aint going back up there!” Even though she is stone cold nuts she aint stoopid, she leaves that to her companions. Except for Ding-We, her super bestest piss-in-a-bucket-with-holes-and-drink-the-foam super friend! They ran some more and probably argued the whole way but I had long since stopped listening.

            “A bridge!”

            “We can trap it good!”

            “Hehehehehehehe”

I could go into details regarding the sneaky little plan that was put in motion, but Im rushing this so just be happy in knowing it was a good plan. Our party setup on the far side and awaited the adversaries. All hell broke loose. Fire, webs and controlled beasts diminished the Hunters down to the three primaries: 

            Lord Strausburry, Master of the Hunt

            Master Vulpine

            Jauson Ovar’s Champion Huntsman

This left us at a standoff as the hunters were forced to tactical retreat. Thus affording our Hobos the chance to press on ahead to hopefully beat the hunters to the final goal…

 

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 14892 xp +10% <25001>

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 14552 xp +5% <20001>

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 14075 xp +5%  <25001>

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 12460 xp +5% (101) <16251>

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 9259 xp  <17501>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 10930 xp <15000>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own  nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 7412 xp <11200>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 6733 xp <12000>

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 10507 xp <17501>

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T4) 9538 xp <10001>

  

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 8425 <16251>

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 9338 <16251>

Sloth the Brute (L3) 5448 <8400>

Grunk the Hobgoblin

Mar the Jester

Hrolga the Amazon

Rufus the Marginally Friendly Dire Wolverine

 

RESERVES

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 16785 <32501>

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 11069 xp  +5% <20001>

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp Elapsed Campaign Time

60.5 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session twenty-seven when we ask the questions:

When are we gonna gain these goddamn levels?

Tale of the Tape

Rufus took a nasty wound to his muzzle from a giant eagle but kept on killing.

KILLS 

Evil Toll Knights (6)

Dire Wolves (3)

Huntsman

Giant Eagles (3)

ShadowHawks (6)

LOOT

Traded for a big chunk of jade and a meaty ruby

Longswords (2)

Lance