Welcome to the Gem Prison You Dopes (Session 159)

 SESSION 159: Trapped in the Gem Prison of Zardax

            Where were we? Right right we were in a courtyard of a lost serptanic city before what we referred to as door number three. The thieves went to work. The door, was heavy wood largely covered in hammered brass built to last the ages and the proof was there. It was barred and locked with an irrationally heavy padlock – almost comical. 

    “Let the master take this one limpy, lispy and drooly rookie”, Bunny pulled out her tools and Rammer made little effort not to goop on her shoulder while watching “youth earned thatth”. 

It took a few minutes but Bunny popped it and stepped aside, “alright meatballs your go”. Steve and Rhags moved into position to open the portal. The door was a little stiff but was not going to put up a fight. Swinging open revealed a stairwell. Carla tossed in a light stone. The steps descended about 10’ before transitioning into a corridor that extended into the darkness. 

            We were about to press on but a commotion in the vicinity caught our attention. Saff buzzed up wards over the building to get a look. Reporting back in her own nutty way, “Big fire woof caught in eyeballs!”(edited for coherency and length). The last few months of having Saffron as a loyal minion has helped Ding-We decipher her chitter slang. It looks like the humungous and fiery demon wolf was surrounded by Optics and not in control of the situation. It was decided that Saff’s insistence to intercede was the right thing to do. The Optics were clearly bad-things and the first encounter with the wolf was neutral. “Perhaps we can earn an ally?”

            The fight was a couple hundred feet down the laneway from the courtyard. Our hobos started hustling. The wolf was in trouble upon arrival. A nasty gash on one of its hind quarters and surrounded by those damnable Optics. Even though they are big eye scarecrows the fight with the wolf allowed the hobos to surprise them. We hit hard and fast. The Optics seemed to have a grudge with the wolf and focused almost solely on bringing it down. They almost succeeded but it is really difficult to ignore a tide of MurderHobos™. The fight ended and we were now standing off with a 40’ long wolf that was perhaps nearly mortally injured. Saff used this unease to fly up and land on the beast’s head. It seems that some mythological type creatures can be soothed by a lunatic creature of the Fey. Carla and Bimbles approached offering healing. The wolf’s eyes leaked flame as the very ground upon where it stood smoldered underfoot. Our crazy bug had gotten the woof to allow the clerics to approach and conduct healing magics. As its wound sealed it gave a low howl and then leapt. Saff went sailing off in one direction while the wolf, once more, quickly disappeared as it went from roof top to roof top. 

            With this distraction resolved we moved back to the brass door and what lay beyond. The passage was carved into the living rock and went for about 40’ before ending in a non-descript stone door, exceptionally well-built but without adornment. Neither trapped nor locked. It opened into a square chamber again carved from the living stone but this time a masterclass in finishing and yet oddly devoid of detail or flourish. The dwarves were gobsmacked until they noticed that in the centre of the chamber was a podium upon which sat the largest emerald any had ever set eye to. Greymin began to shake with lust. After some divine and arcane scanning of the chamber it was determined that the chamber was as it appeared just rock the emerald glowed radiantly. Revealing some sort of magical nature. Greymin was now nearly going into seizure. He was given clearance to go grab it in some Indiana Jones style way. Well, it was a trap. A blinding flash of green washed over the gang.

      Guess what? Our hobos where now somewhere else. A rectangular chamber with vivid orange walls.

            -static- 

            Is this thing on?

            At your leisure sir.

            Ahem…

            Impudent fools!

            You dare oppose Zardax the Impressive?

Whoever you are, almost certainly insignificant sub-humans, you are no match for my diabolical prison of inescapable terror!

            And seeing as you will surely perish in this cursed place, I see no reason not to gloat… 

            ….. sometime later…

            And in closing are shall fear the name Zardax the Impressive!

            -static-

            How was that?

            Very good, master.

            Excellent, send it down to editing and then loop it.

            Yes master.

            -static-

            Is this thing on?

            …ad nauseum…

Here we go again. The hobos began to investigate their surroundings. A slightly eaten grub thing and a nice fur bag with some coin were discovered, along with a door that led to another chamber devoid of interest beyond a door like thing that held a hand print inscribed with some sort of strange symbology in the palm. Somebody touched it. The door more dissolved than opened. Revealing a grey corridor, about 100’ long and an odd blue pillar in the middle and a subtle grinding noise could be heard. 

They entered and the ‘door’ rematerialized behind then shortly after, now displaying a different symbol in the palm. A little experimenting later. It seems they were in a revolving chamber that regularly changed its destination. Ding-We felt that there was a finite number of chambers so they experimented. He was correct but their screwing about attracted the attention of a bunch of hairless cat/ elf things and our gumbys made a run for it. Ended up in another couple of gaudy coloured chambers with a couple more fur bags holding some loot. Then almost into a huge chamber piled with stones (?) of very similar size except that there was a giant liquid silver wasp that was hidden above the door and plunged its stinger into to all that attempted to enter. The hobos ran back into the previous chamber and left to find themselves in another chamber rather than the one from which they had entered.

The chamber was cold mostly square with blueish white walls with a frozen fountain at its centre and loaded with snowmen. There were also to secondary chambers at the back of the room. Did I mention that it was cold, like really cold? There were also ten ice people clad in ridiculously heavy armour wielding icy-blue great swords. These maniacs only had murder on their minds and so we danced. These frosty elf impersonators were able to deal some damage but they could not stand up to the power of a fully operational MurderHobo™ mob. 

We finished them up and then began to explore the cell.

  

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 250538 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C8) 214778 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 212423 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 177260 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 188805 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 404555 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 184055 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 118078 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 137081 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 72067 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 84562 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 88462 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 21490 xp +10% <32000> CRT 1d16/IV

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  59015 <65001> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Greymin the Dwarven Hero (D5) 21691 <35000> +5% CRT 1D14/III

 

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 0 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 2 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

341 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Sixty when we ask the questions:

How the hell do we get outta here?

Less importantly, who the hell is Zardax?

Also, how the hell do we keep ending up in situations like this?

Tale of the Tape

KILLS

Optic patrol 

Cat-elfs (ran away)

Giant silver wasp (ran away)

Extraterrestrial Ice ‘Elves’ of a lost epoch (10) 

LOOT

150 gp

Black lotus flower in a glass tube

Scroll: Mass Morph 

A Monolith of Murder Too Far (Session 158)

 SESSION 158: Sneaking Around the Eyrie of the Dread Eye

            Sacks were loaded and the church, for at least a second time, was once more desecrated. Screw the XII and their tentacle-faced preachers, flayed angels and dead congregations. The treasure map looked interesting and seemed to be a missive from on ancient adventurer to another describing a meeting spot not far away, where the City transitions into the psychedelic forest. We passed a little too close to the mold and fungi covered building and Nara was assailed with a telepathic message of yearning – I live and hunger! She did not care for this psychic incursion and pushed the group to double time it. Getting around the strange occurence our hobos followed an alley separating the edge of the City and the outer wall of this hidden place. 

            A little while later of cautious travel the hobos entered into the transition zone from city to forest and began to look for the large boulder alluded to on the map. It didn’t take long to find. On the back side of the boulder they found a long dead elf, desiccated but largely intact. It appeared to have received a mortal injury that was beyond it’s ability stabilize. The remnants of the Elf's ancient chainmail was slashed open across the chest. One hand held the hilt of a short sword that was no longer with blade. The other hand clutched papers that appeared strangely intact. Beside the corpse was a leather sack, useless but still intact. Steve and Rhags started the looting. It did not take much before the corpse started cracking and breaking into not much more than dust. The sack held gems, the clutched papers were a scroll and a message for his wayward chum that he took too long. The final shaking of the corpse yielded an ornate ivory scroll tube. The scrolls, much to the clerics interest, were of divine nature including a much sought after spell – raise dead. 

            The hobos were feeling good but somewhat directionless. Ding-We got it in his head that underneath that mold and fungi covered building there would be wonderous riches. “We got to kill that thing, Raul crack open your book (Slimes & Molds) and come up with a plan”. It seems that maybe just maybe Raul had been sniffing some of the local flora to see what Biff and Bimbles found so interesting and this may have interfered with his book work. Raul struck out in the secret lore department. Ding-We ignored this portent and came up with another wacky plan or two. Much to Carla’s chagrin she would be the goat on a rope, “get in there and cure disease these things are just a pile of disease”. They made their way to a broken wall about 100’ from the giant mold mass and then sent Carla in. She moved within spell range and called for the divine power to cure the lump of disease. Well, all it did was cause the thing, Dorvereth, to lash out psionically at Carla. She collapsed frothing at the mouth as her body went into seizure.  “And that is why we tie ropes to people”, Ramrod explained to our newer companions as they dragged Carla back. As they began to investigate Carla two groups of slimy zombies (25) zeroed in on the hobos. It looked like they were going to try to push us back towards Dorvereth. “Run away!” Rhagnar threw Carla over his shoulder and our vagrants ran back towards the forest. Ding-We’s plan had been foiled, for the time being. They hid behind the big boulder for a while until Carla regained her wits. This was a good chance to figure out what the magical items that we pulled from the church did. During this time it was also decided that they would finally go look at the pyramid.

            Much like every plan our hobos noticed a ruin that was in relatively good condition that they had not investigated and promptly forgot about the pyramid once more. A large single door (9’ height) made of an unknown material with gold filigree. “Unobtainium?”, no it was actually Unknowium. This strange material caused our thieves to let down their defenses. They stepped forward to open the door. Upon touching it spikes exploded from underneath the years of filth hiding the trap. Bunny and Rammer cursed as they jumped back with bloodied feet. After some cursing and bandaging they returned to the doo and opened it. First they were hit with the stench of bile and then greeted by the twisted screams of things that could only be described as aberrations. The chamber was very dimly lit as the domed roof of this chamber had numerous small circular port style windows that let the sickly purple light seep in. The building was circular about 100’ in diameter. In the centre was a 10’ platform that was ringed with a 30’ moat full of acid. How did we know that you may ask. Well there was some weird shit in here. Upon the platform sat/stood/perched a monolith of slime 15’ tall. A pillar of mutation with multiple faces and swinging pseudopods. But this was not the source of the ‘screams’, nope that can from the tower of slime’s "children" that ruptured forth from all over it's body. These children would burst out only to be eaten, smashed, pulverized by its parent a few would get away only to be dissolved in the acidic moat. “Ah…what the shit is this!?!”, an exclamation which came from numerous hobos except Saff she saw it for what it was - a booger pile. The hobos stood outside and deliberated what should be done next. “Perhaps we should stay on target?” “Yes, that is a fine idea to the pyramid” “Too the pyramid!!!” Bunny and Rammer closed the giant door and we pressed on. 

The pyramid is a dark golden structure with a top that gleams in the darkness of the cavernous eyrie. They entered. This was another manufactory for Optic creation. The interior of the pyramid is open and ringed with rows and rows of cloning vats, most empty and in disuse but some filled with cloudy liquids and strange forms. Moving about inside was a strange looking Optic named Primus the caretaker of this place, who politely greeted the hobos and easily entered into conversation he was very accommodating and pleasant. Primus’s wore a very large hat atop a body made of luminous rings making for a rather surreal experience. Before having to excuse himself for his duties we did learn a bit more about the nature of things here in the Eyrie but missed the chance to drop any real substantive questions about the Oculus. 

Pressing on. Ding-We pointed out that there were now unexplored ruins that way. On our way ‘that way’ we first encountered a group of IK gathered around an Optic corpse conducting some sort of ceremony. Since we knew the little goof-balls had no language we just crept quietly by observing the ritual. The corpse glowed and then a crystal formed above it and then dropped to the ground the IK then collected it and then waddled away. “Hmm, that was odd”. 

A couple hundred feet further down the laneway we came to courtyard. Bunny and Rammer, both invisible, crept to the opening to see what they could see. Inside a patrol of Optics had cornered more IK. One of them grabbed an IK and tore it in half. As stuffing and other mundane items fell to the ground the mute creature somehow released a sickening scream. Two of the Optics were astride giant lizards and it was these scaley buggers that picked up the heat signatures of the two thieves. The fight was on, the lizards charged. Steve and Rhags also lunged forward to hold the breach. The spellcasters and archers were able to quickly neutralize the seer but Steve was in trouble the lizard had taken him to the ground attacking madly while the Optic rider struck downwards with its nasty pike. Saff in a moment of usual lunacy polymorphed the lizard into a giant trout. This sparred Steve the assault by the lizard but now he was pinned down by a big slimy fish. Steve not one to let opportunity pass him by saw what he needed to do. This was a whole lot of dinner that he needed to catch, sadly his very marginal intelligence did not realize that a fish out of water won’t swim away. He focused his attention on the trout. The battle raged but the hobos had the Optics both trapped and outnumbered. When the end arrived the IK may have given some sort of salute and bounded away back to do whatever they were doing. 

We grabbed a breath as Steve cleaned and gutted the mammoth trout. Inside the courtyard were the entry points to three more ruins. Two of them were exactly that but the third was not. What is behind door number three?

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 250538 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C8) 214778 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 212423 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 177260 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 188805 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 404555 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 184055 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 118078 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 137081 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 72067 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 84562 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 88462 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 21490 xp +10% <32000> CRT 1d16/IV

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  59015 <65001> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Greymin the Dwarven Hero (D5) 21691 <35000> +5% CRT 1D14/III

 

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 0 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 3 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

340 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Fifty-Nine when we ask the questions:

What will ruin #16 hold in store?

Will we return to the ruin housing the slime column thing?

How much longer will we dodge losing a hobo in this nightmare city?

What is Dorvereth and will we try to kill it again?

Are we going to try to end the evil blight of the Oculus?

Tale of the Tape

Ramrod was headbutted by a hydra, losing two more teeth and improving his lisp 

KILLS

Fungal Zombies in service of Dorvereth (25) – Bravely ran away

Oculus corrupted hydra (8H) 600

Optic foot soldiers (6) 840

Giant tuatara lizards (2) 640

Optic sergeant 600

Optic seer 65

LOOT

6000 sp

1000 gp

Treasure Map VII (Value in gp: 4,130)

• 3 × gems (10gp)
• 2 × gems (50gp)
• 5 × gems (100gp)
• 5 × gems (500gp)
• gem (1,000gp)
• Potion of Levitation
• Spell scroll ( hold person, dispel evil protection from evil (c))
• Spell scroll (purify food and water, detect evil, hold person, raise dead (finger of death), create water) 

Chapel of Ghouls (Session 157)

 SESSION 157: In the Name of Suffering

             Well it looked like Steve was not in a rush to go anywhere, cooking the octopus was going to take some time. We would take the risk of camping in the ruin of the lurker. Maybe it was luck maybe the locals know better than entering this structure. The rest cycle passed without disturbance. The intention was to head towards the ziggurat. As usual our hobos were blown off course and an odd looking structure caught their eyes. It was an ancient temple that appeared to be structurally sound. 

            Two heavy iron wrought doors greeted us. They were solid and gave no clear as to what may lay beyond. Scrawled in what appeared to be charcoal was a rough box with ancient numerals representing the number twelve. We didn’t give it much thought, Steve went ahead and opened the doors. It was a temple to worship a long lost divinity that had been repurposed (defiled) for something else and whatever that was they were doing it now. As the purple light of the city bled into this partially lit chamber, braziers were burning at the front some 70 or so feet away.

Twenty feet into the temple was the backside of the last of three rows of pews filled with the congregation all in robes covered in weird symbols. After that, upon a podium was the altar with course inscriptions that had been carved into it to assert this new ideology over the old. A human-like head displaying a beauty beyond words sat on the altar. Beyond that was the apparent preacher of this church. The unholy one was wrapped in a pair of man sized bloody white wings over its robes. The priest was facing towards the final blasphemy of this place, on the back wall a crucified and headless entity flayed of all its skin. The being held up a golden goblet overflowing with a viscous fluid and called its congregation to “Give praise to suffering! N’Gathau! N’Gathau! N’Gathau! We give this sacrifice to Ghezi lord of all mutilation”. This place was clearly a ghouls chapel and was dripping with wicked life hating evil.

            The hobos were fairly certain these guys should be on the hit list. Steve opened the double doors with perhaps a bit too much gusto and our thieves were looking elsewhere, there would be no sneak attack today. The congregation caught a whiff of living flesh as the tanks moved towards the back row of pews. The entities that made up the followers were in fact a mix of ghouls and ghasts and there was no bad time to eat flesh. Steve, Camillus and Rhagnar moved in as the undead cast off their robes and flipped over the pews to get some hobo. The priest then turned around to reveal a human-like visage except for a vertically oriented mouth from which tentacles erupted forth from, “eat them slowly they must suffer for this transgression”. Game on. 

The denizen of somewhere else did not see our nearly-naked purple girl outside the doors and caught him/it off guard for a psionic assault. Nara cracked the priests defences and temporarily shattered its mind, the priest stood there leaking a sickly mucous from its now limp tenacled maw. The undead swarmed our front line Carla attempted to channel the divine light of TMB through the Armature of Palantis but this place was a forsaken pit of evil in a corrupted city of malevolence, she had no power here. Fortunately the wizards were able to relieve the pressure with numerous electrical bolts. The smell of ozone and burnt dead meat began to overwhelm the stench of the congregation. It looked like we were quickly getting control of the situation until the headless crucified thing pulled itself off the wall and rushed Steve. He was buffeted by its skinless arms that oozed acid rather than what we would consider more normal fluids. It was singularly focused on Steve even when other surrounded it. Every hit resulted in an acidic blood geyser covering all those around it. The battle began slipping away from us. Both Steve and Camillus were battered and bloodied, Steve ruptured one of his Achilles tendons and Camillus had succumbed to the paralyzing bite of a ghast, both had one foot in the grave. The clerics rushed in as Rhagnar attempted to fight the ghast off of Camillus. During this time Bunny crept to the altar to remove Mr. Tetacleface’s head as Nara warned that it would soon regain its wits. The beaten fighters were extricated and Carla was left facing the faceless. As a clearly mindless force of chaos the second line of hobos were able to surround it and dismember the horror but not before being covered in acidic blood. 

            It was over but the strongest of our horde were well reminded of their mortality as Bimbles pulled out his magic jug to douse those still burning from the acid blood. The medics had some serious work to do and we had just started our day. We finally got to investigating the temple. The clerics believed that the headless thing was the product of heinous vivisectionist-like blasphemy. They called it a flayed angel, a grotesquery that was a receptacle of the unfathomable evils that could conduct such a horror. The clerics went about attempting to cleanse the black presence, this church would now be twice defiled. The rest of our gang did not reflect on such things and began searching for and collecting valuables. The altar was a slider and underneath was a pit full of gleaming coin and jewelry. The collected wealth of previous sacrifices? Probably but they and theirs are long since gone and material wealth only benefits the living and so we loaded our sacks. 

  

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 248356 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C8) 212596 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 210241 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 175078 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 186623 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 402373 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 181873 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 115896 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY6) 128890 xp <130001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 70976 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 83471 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 87371 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 18799 xp +10% <32000> CRT XXXX

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  57924 <65001> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 0 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 4 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

339 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Fifty-Seven when we ask the questions:

Who or what are the N’Gathau?

What about the box symbol with XII inside?

Have we made a new enemy?

Are getting concerned with the evil that we are finding in this ruined despicable city?

What will we find in the ziggurat? 

For that matter, do we dare go further?

Tale of the Tape

We got close. I will redouble my efforts.

KILLS

Flayed Angel 

Denizen of Leng 

Barrow Ghast (2) 

Ghast (6) 

Ghoul (12) 

LOOT

Gold ceremonial chalice 800gp

Gold braziers (4) 250 gp each

30,000 ep

Jewelry (20) 7,500gp combined

Potions: Speed, Treasure Finding

Scrolls: Treasure Map VII, Wizard Lock (A), Speak w/animals/ Quest (D)

Ancient short sword +1 

Never Leave Dry Land (Session 156)

 SESSION 156: The Watcher in the Waters

            Leaving the torture chamber we contemplated departing the city altogether as we were feeling rather flush but that old murderhobo itch is hard to scratch. In the not so distance, beyond a rusted and broken fence, lies a strange cylindrical tower, broader at the base then the top. A weathered stone path encircles it and leads to the top. What the heck? What could go wrong? And so our grimy band made their way to the strange structure and began to ascend the path. Reaching the summit they looked down into the open-topped cylindrical tower. Within it rested the bodies of the dead. 

Even from 75’ up we could see the twinkle of rings, jewels, and other personal belongings of the dead, available to any who were willing to root through the sea of corpses. They were a little hesitant to just jump in. After some experimentation they did observe some writhing from the bodies. “Maybe they is just mostly dead and need some helps?” And so three lines were dropped to the bottom of the chamber and Steve, Biff, Carla, Nara and the thieves made their way down. Touchdown provided that the corpses had moved beyond dead and a legion of them were actually ghouls hungry for hobo. Thirty of them dug up from their cozy corpse bed. Ding-We didn’t like the look of things so he took a risk and called down an ice storm. The ghouls were annihilated at the cost of the loot team getting a little bashed up as well. It was worth it, there was lots of assorted grave goods. 

            During the looting the whole of the group aside from the thieves went down to do the dirty work. Meanwhile Bunny and Rammer stood guard invisibly up top. They spotted something. A dwarf creeping in the general direction of the tower. They went down to see what was up with the bearded runt. They snuck down and confronted the beastie. He was Greymin, the last of an adventuring group and was not all that off balance from the voices without bodies he had seen all sorts of things and he was really preoccupied with finding some precious metal. All dwarf all the time – addicted to mining the good stuff. However, even though he was obsessed he realized that travelling with a group would greatly improve his chances. 

            Finishing the looting, the ever expanding horde pressed on to the next non-descript ruin. It was a chamber that was largely empty except for two large bronze doors installed into the floor with four carved stone light houses set at the points in the back of the ruin. We did not really look closely at anything, so there could have been hints but we will never know. The toughs each grabbed a conveniently placed handle and swung open the doors. It appeared to be a forgotten cellar loaded with barrels, chests and other implements of storage. For some reason Carla decided to toss a light stone in. It disappeared with a plop. “An illusion!” Yes it was. A disgusting slimy tentacled fish-slug like thing with three vertically arranged long red eye slits burst from beyond the broken trap. The fight was on. To make things even better two giant octopi also breached the water and attempted to drag hobos to their doom. No such luck. Our gang survived yet again but more fun was coming. It was felt that there must be loot, “down there somewhere”. Steve, Biff, Rhags and Bunny prepared and then jumped in. Slowly descending by rope they shone their abundant light stones through the inky depths. It would probably have taken some time but Carla’s initial light stone had conveniently or magically landed on the slime-thing’s treasure pile. The divers zeroed in on the loot not noticing the death machine silently gliding by. The final guard or minion of the tentacle blob-thing thing was a giant shark nearly 25’ long and it was insatiable. First Bunny was consumed and resorted to a potion of gaseous form to make her escape. Then Biff was gobbled up as he faced imminent death but got lucky when Rhags was consumed right after and was able to gut the beast to save the two of them. Never get out of the boat. 

Bags were filled and the divers returned to the surface exhausted and bloody. Steve immediately prepared a fire and chopped up a 10’ octopus tentacle to grill up before moving on. 

  

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 244747 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C8) 208987 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 206632 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 171469 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 183014 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 398764 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 178264 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 112287 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY6) 127186 xp <130001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Siddha Girl (PS7) XXXX xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 81667 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 85567 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the XXXX (F5) XXXXX xp +10% <16000> CRT XXXX

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  56120 <65001> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 0 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 4 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

339 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Fifty-Seven when we ask the questions:

Do we dare another unique building or even further ruins?

Really, what do we do next?

Tale of the Tape

Team Aquaforce somehow survived being eaten 

We found another Dorf wandering aimlessly in search precious metals

KILLS

Ghouls (30) 

Aboleth

Giant octopus (2) 

Giant Shark 

LOOT

• 1,000 Zaharan gold dodecs 
• 1,000 elven platinum súl 
• 32 various jade carvings of official figures from the Argollëan Empire (200gp each, 1 stone per 5) 
• Carved ivory figurine of a nude elf dancing with silks (1,000gp) 
• black sapphire(1,000gp) 
• facet-cut imperial topaz (4,000gp) 

·       A wrought orichalcum Zaharan prince’s crown (4,000gp)

·       flawless-cut imperial topaz(8,000gp) 

·       platinum reliquary of Zaharan make with stained crystal panes (7,000gp) 

·       gold ring of XXXXX inlaid with giant crab chitin and set with obsidian (apparent value 500gp). 

·       Electrum ring of XXXXX set with a moonstone (apparent value 2,000gp) 

·       Spruce wand of XXXXX with a glowing yellow sphere on the end 

·       twisted darkwood wand of XXXX with a bloodstained tip 

·       A pair of knee-high strappy brown leather boots XXXXX

·       A round shield +1 made of gleaming iron and maple wood colored a deep charcoal 

·       A yew shortbow XXX with a grip of shiny brown leather

·       8 ash arrows XXX with steel tips and red flight feathers 

In total, the treasure in this cavern has a value of 35,000gp and a weight of 14st. 

·       2 pp

·       6000 gp

·       Gems (11) = 1405