Books for Murder, Murder for Books? (Session 153)

 SESSION 153: The Fabled Lost City of XXXX(?)

            Back to looting the nameless city, not to be mistaken with the Nameless City we already been there done that. What occurred next being a series of strange and deadly encounters and locations of this forgotten place. 

            The day started slow, everything was quiet and ruined. Then we discovered a mouldy furniture storage building. After sending our two tanks in to deal with what had been confirmed to be a deadly mould the rest of the group were attacked by rampaging giant crocodiles. How is this possible you ask? I don’t know, this place is mad. Finishing up with the reptiles and trying to get back to our looting a commotion was noted around a corner in our proximity. 

It ended up being a gaggle of heavily armored white gorillas fighting those strange scarecrow like beings known as Optics. The apes were under pressure from the Optics. We knew that the Optics are all about assimilating all other beings and we don’t float with that sorta commie crap so the hobos elected to give the apes a helping fireball and such. The tide was turned and it didn’t take too much for the apes to clean things up. They acknowledged our assistance and showed us the grudging respect of warriors. After which they provided us with some more information regarding themselves and the forces of the Occulus. We then offered then some fresh crocodile and went back to our looting. 

As we were planning out what direction to move next our thieves caught sight of a truly monstrous wolf creature with burning eyes sitting on top of a building watching our lurkings. It locked gaze with little miss ‘sticky fingers’ and then in one mighty leap disappeared from vision. Ahhhhhhh, that was a serious woof but like good hobos our team would not stop exploring. More weird stuff followed. 

            A tree grew from one ruined building and it seemed to home the sickening and bizarre Hell Wasps. Picture a wasp the size of a dog with the head of a malignant old man that were surrounding in a vile stench. What made it worse was that they could see our invisible sneaks. This caused a swarming. We ran. Hell only knows what an angry bunch of those things may result in. 

            After running a little ways around a corner the searching recommenced. It was a series of ruined structures until an intact library was discovered. Stepping in we were berated by a 12’ owl wearing a very fancy pair of boots. This was Kokomoe, some sort of very lesser or petty godlike entity, and he was steward of this place. The entity made it clear that we were being watched (for those reading along, poor souls that you are, the previous bit of bold was not written by C. Campbell I just bolded that bit in hopes of dropping a keen sense of foreboding do ya feel it?) and we could freely use the library as long as the rules were followed. Kokomoe pulled out a pointer and went down a list posted prominently on the wall. "Failure to uphold these regulations will result in permanent banishment", the Owl stated as it came to a close. Sheathing their weapons and removing their helmets our crew went exploring. This was a library of formulas and lost knowledge. If you wanted to make it there was a recipe for you. Our murderhobos went to work. Steve was directed to the childrens section. Saffron got to work on pestering the silly bird that cold not even bother to wear cool boots.

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 232566 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 191806 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 188737 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 153574 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 170833xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 386513 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T8) 218369 xp <160001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 94392 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY6) 153241 xp <130001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P6) 77277 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 72722 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 77697 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F4) 9125 xp +10% <16000> CRT XXXX

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  49000 <65001> +5% CRT XXXX

 

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 3 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 8 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

335 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Fifty-Four when we ask the questions:

What can this library do for us?

Camillus seems shattered can we fix that?

Optics, IK, Apes, a giant wolf what other factions will we discover here?

Tale of the Tape

Welcome to the horde Camillus, we hope it doesn’t kill you

KILLS

Giant crocodiles (7) 2240

Optic Footmen (18) 2520

Optic Sergeant (2) 1200

Optic Seer 65

LOOT

Staff of Wizardry

Scroll: Teleport, Comprehend Languages

Orichalcum Plate +1 (note: Masterwork construction ½ weight, Acid res -1/d, magic res 15%, water breathing)

• Flawless fist-sized diamond(4,000gp) 
• A jade chest, covered in elven carvings(3,000gp)
• Flawless facet-cut diamond(8,000gp) 
• 5 bundles of rare ancient furs of animals that no longer walk the earth (500gp each, 5 stone each) 

In this case, the treasure in this cavern has a value of 17,500gp and a weight of 25 st. 

Purple Haze All in Our Eyes (Session 152)

 SESSION 152: Welcome to the Jungle

Once more we returned to the statue-wheel chamber but this time we would focus on what we saw along the back wall, a hidden ledge with a passageway.    

Reminder: Bold descriptive stuff by C. Campbell.

“A strange fungus lines the walls and rear floor of the massive cavern. It climbs all the way up to the underside of the stone shelf that encircles the walls. The fungus grows on, in, and through a dozen rotting bodies that lay scattered through the area”.  There were some shenanigans about this area but it does not warrant record. The cave mouth was the interesting thing. It led us to an alien forest bathed in a dim purple glow the cast a shadowy radiance across the land. The forest was filled with strange plants with gaping pods for leaves, slick 14’ tall orange tubes, and strange fleshy trunks that have vertical folds, stretches out to the limit of vision. This was so weird that even Saff was weirded out but she is also easily distracted and so forgot to mention how the forest was ‘insaner than her’. It seemed that the forest was in some sort of bowl with a sheer face behind us and the forest ahead. Climbing into the purple light seemed like a bad idea and so we looked forward. Not too far ahead the ground sloped upwards as the vegetation transitioned from space shrubs to space trees as the ground rose up, a large hill or small mountain? It was tough to say, only one way to find out. We quickly learned that not all plants are neutral when one blasted Steve with acid. And then we came upon a group of strange creatures, sitting or nesting or something in and around the ruins of a building. They were like little stuffed skin bags (2’) and all wore porcelain masks. Carla attempted to communicate with the creatures that mutely staired at us. Carla’s interaction resulted in the things whistling in different tones. She had hoped that this was a language but her crown of comprehension did not agree. “I understand languages!”, she petitioned to the heavens. The gods expected more from a high priestess and gave no response, she would have to figure this out on her own. Eventually, she simply whistled back. The things then pantomimed laughter as the sound of jingling bells fill the air and then indicated that the party should follow them. 

            Through the forest and around the side of the hill the littles guys brought our hobos to “a twisted lump of metal and steel rises high into the sky. Rusty gears, poles, plates, and clockwork mechanisms form a disorganized tower that stretches nearly one hundred feet in the air. An area has been cleared near the bottom, underneath a crafted roof that shields it from the elements. A yellow glow of light, life, and warmth spills out from beneath the roof”. This was the home of their master and creator the Collector – Narlag an ancient alien wizard whom travels space and time in search of the answers to the creation of eternal servitors. He was both grumpy and somewhat interested in dialogue. In between bouts of open irritation he told us about his creations the “Ik” and how they were an imperfect attempt to create his own Optics. The Optics being the slaves of the Occulus that was the entity that controlled the stronghold beyond the forest. After having tea with Narlag it was decided that rather than pressing on we would fall back to the statue chamber and investigate the golem protected gate. 

            Working back down the slope to the cavern Bimbles required relief and stepped to the side to let go. “Hmmm what an alluring scent, I must investigate”, he took a number of steps into the brush in search of the floral scent and came upon a fleshy pillar plant. A short time later Ding-We inquired to Dolec where his marching partner was “He stepped aside to take a whiz a minute ago”, “And where is he now?”, “Umm somewhere behind us”. The team did an about face and began searching for Bimbles. Biff found him, “Hey bud whatcha doing to that plant?...Oh what an alluring scent…” Eventually the two were found and they were completely preoccupied with giving the strange fleshy pillar plant some good loving. Bunny was shocked but then, “Oh what an alluring scent” and began loosening her garments as she approached the growing inaugural Plant Fuckers gathering. “Steve chop down that plant but do try not to knock off those idiots peckers!” directed Raul. There was protest from the aforementioned PFers, both Biff and Bimbles took a swing at Steve just before he hacked down the love plant at the ground. Bunny grabbed the thing as it fell off of the two weirdos and began to position it in a non-family friendly way just as the allure faded away. “WHAT THE BLUE BLOODY HELL!” she exclaimed before tossing the thing aside and zipping up her body suit. The other two took a little longer and simply stood there thrusting into the wind for a few more moments. Saffron noted, “why isn’t that green Biff?”. The rest just tried to erase everything they just saw from their memories. Saff was contrary to this agenda – “Biff and Bim standing in the forest and F-U-C-K-I-N-G any old plant!” “Double stuffed! Double stuffed! That’s how they like to do it!”. Our hobos used this opportunity to double time it back to the cave and the statue chamber to once more ride the hand to the upper platform before Saff started constructing any really effective poetry.

Once more at the steps and facing the one remaining golem. We thought that we had the advantage as we understood the game and we did but it did not prevent Jogar from being pulverized into paste. There was nothing left worth collecting so we pressed on up the steps to the gate. Bunny and Rammer felt that it was like “totally safe to pass through” and so we did.  

Enter the ruined stronghold we did under that strange pervasive purple glow. It was decided time was not currently of the essence. The group would return to base camp and collect the rest of the horde before exploring the ruins and so back down we went.

Is it tomorrow or just the end of time? - Jimi Hendrix

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 232566 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 191806 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 188737 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 153574 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 170833xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 386513 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 218369 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 94392 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 153241 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P7) 77277 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d6/I

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 72722 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 77697 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F4) 9125 xp +10% <16000> CRT XXXX

Jogar the Nine-Fingered Robber (T4) 5725 +5% <9600> CRT XXXX

 

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 4 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 9 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

334 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Fifty-Three when we ask the questions:

Tale of the Tape

Jogar, the nine-fingered mashed into paste

KILLS

Bronze golem

LOOT

1000 sp

Pearl 1000 gp

Gold inlaid ivory horn 1200 gp

Hammer Smashed Hobos (Session 151)

 SESSION 151: Wow that is Really Big!

Things get strange as the mob infiltrate deeper into this lost city. Once again the real descriptions, bolded, are C. Campbell's. I just present the poorly written fluff..

            So the gang rested up and made entry into our nesting corridor a worthy obstacle to wyvern incursion. This made not only the horses but Sasha and her basecamp crew happier. The rest of our hobos returned to the chimney and once more ascended to the Really Big Statue Chamber. This was going to take some investigation, it is not every day you discover a statue that measures 350’ from the carved snake base to the crest of its head in some sort of underground chamber. It is worn beyond recognition. The statue had six arms arranged in a titled hexagram, though two of them are shattered, one at the wrist and one at the elbow. Searching the area revealed the following:

A dark rust-colored pyramidal ziggurat rises here to a height of perhaps 30’. Rough stairs climb to the top of the ziggurat, where a deeply-stained rectangular shelf sits.

An ancient stone fort-like structure stands perched atop a large stone shelf dozens of feet up the wall. A giant wheel looms behind the tower like a dark halo.

The ziggurat was clearly once a sacrificial altar, stained heavily with blood and ancient corpse detritus accumulated in a pit just beyond. The fort was more interesting albeit decrepit. Getting to the top floor and then dealing with the resident giant spiders we discovered a rusted control panel set before two windows. One facing the statue and the other the large wheel. The wheel appeared to be of the water sort now that we had a closer look, but where was the water? Raul felt he could figure out and possibly jury-rig any shortfalls in respect to the panel. The rest investigated the wheel. It was most certainly in a channel and therefore there should be water somewhere. The crew followed it to a mottled back wall behind the wheel finding patches of algae growing on moist, warm sections. They concluded that there was water hidden behind the wall and it must be smashed. The water began to flow filling the channel to the wheel and then began to drain via an overflow channel. The wheel did not move until Raul pulled a lever. Ancient mechanical locks released and with a groan the wheel began to move and with that the arms of the statue also gave forth a groan of long unused gears and began to rotate. The arms were like a rudimentary ferris wheel with the hands acting as the passenger apparatus. 

They made their way to the statue and hopped on for a ride. 150’ up there was a platform covered in strange detritus of carved stones there was also a very narrow passageway. Bunny was selected to dig deeper. The passage was certainly narrow for anyone wearing armor. It lead to a chamber loaded with giant albino scorpions. “Nope, fuck this”, Bunny slowly began to step backwards out of the chamber mouth. The scorpions did not act. Returning she relayed her findings and for a little while Ding-We attempted to formulate an inane plan to uselessly obliterate the arachnids. Nara was the first to grow super bored of this and pointed out that Dinger’s planning was simply of malicious intent, the creatures were not posing any imminent threat. 

Jumping back on the hand ride. Hundreds of feet up, at the very limit of vision, a lip of stone – like a stone shelf - runs around the entire cavern. This seemed to be the last stop before the hands reached an apex and began to cycle back down. The ascent to the stone shelf’s lofty height reveals an antediluvian marble stairway that rises into the darkness. From atop and astride the stairway, two great statues (20’) of men with noble bearing and devilish demeanor gaze downward, their gleaming eyes judging all who would pass beyond. 

The hobos approached the stone steps and began to ascend. Halfway up what was now known to be a 100’ stairway the eyes of the statues let forth blinding red beams before they fully animated. Bunny caught the rays full on and collapsed to the ground. She initially appeared to be dead but we learned that she was instead unconscious from the catastrophic draining of life energy. Then the fight commenced with the statues closing the distance with a few short steps. These were golems that bled burning molten metal and all hell broke loose. Powerful and mighty does not fully convey the brute force of the guardians. The hobos had their asses handed to them. One golem was defeated and the other pushed from the stairs. We had a window of opportunity. Either run for the doors atop the steps or retreat. Carla had the gut feeling that the remaining guardian would not pursue past the portal. This was correct but the idea did not gain enough support. Instead the hobos made a mad dash for the hand-wheel, riding it back down and noting some stuff along the back wall for later investigation. Broken, bloody and beaten they returned to the chimney and back down to base camp. 

It was totally tactical, there were no witnesses to hear "Run away" echo across the giant chamber.

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 232566 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 191806 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 188737 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 153574 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 170833xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 386513 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 218369 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 94392 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 153241 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P7) 77277 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d6/I

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 72722 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 77697 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F4) 9125 xp +10% <16000> CRT XXXX

Jogar the Nine-Fingered Robber (T4) 5725 +5% <9600> CRT XXXX

 

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 5 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 10 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

333 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Fifty-Two when we ask the questions:

What lies beyond those double doors protected by the golems?

Why do we keep losing levels?

Tale of the Tape

Bunny dodged death at the cost of one life level

KILLS

Giant Black Widows (6)

Bronze Golem

LOOT

Zip

Dwellers of the Lost City of Murder (Session 150)

 SESSION 150: Into the Valley of Darkness

Wherein our brash adventures discover a forgotten city built into a cliff face and completely forget about their botched roc hunt.

BOLD words are Courtney Campbell's.

Day 9 (continued)– cloudy: Three miles in, at the far end of the Valley, lies a fortress-like cliff. Unlike the surrounding stone, "this cliff face is deeply polished and reflects the light from above in long slender needle-like reflections. We stood before this edifice the base was an impossibly high and polished cracked cliff. It is so large that you are overwhelmed by the dizzying and vertiginous sensation that the cliff itself is the ground and you are standing on a wall looking at it. The looming wall is dotted with the ruined entrances of ancient structures and tombs". Deep within these who knows what adventure awaits? 

The first plan was to fly around and take a look but Sasha pointed ominous shadows above, wyverns and they were obviously watching us. There were three archways at ground level that could be explored and hopefully provided protection from the reptiles. We tested the one on the left first. A granite carving of a winged dog rests over this weathered keystone arch. It opens into a tunnel with rocks and dust coating the floor and huge cracks running along the walls. In the small chamber beyond, several large rocks and boulders lie strewn about the floor. When the wind blew, dust and grains fell to the floor of the tunnel. This whole chamber and tunnel was a death trap just waiting for some murderhobos. It was pure good fortune that Ramrod was on point and had a gaseous form potion at the ready. He transformed into a fart as the ceiling collapsed and the rest of the group were able to jump clear of certain death from the entry passage.

The massive dust plume from the collapse attracted the attention of the omni-present wyverns above. A pack of them appeared to be assembling and preparing to test our mettle. It was decided that we should quickly seek cover. What passage this time? Door number three. 

“A corridor, unmarked except for the worn granite head of a snake above the entrance, leads into the wall. Within, the path stretches forwards then forks in two. Ahead, a flat passage leads to some stairs that have rubble near the top; to the right side, a sloped passage leads up a ramp to a small landing, where narrow stairs head further into the mountain. The sloped passage is decorated with ancient glyphs”. 

Let’s check out the rubble. The flat passage leads to a badly stained and rubble-filled narrow stairway. Cresting the top, a hallway intersected by a series of gigantic circular tunnels. I wonder if these two purple worms created these weird tunnels. Battle ensued. After resolving this challenge our group took the other passage. A series of upwards passages led to a non-descript stone room. The passageway continue upwards to the west and there was also a chimney that went well beyond our ability to see. “The narrow passage opens up into a room with a rough stone floor carrying a glass mosaic of a starburst inlaid in the middle. On the far wall, stairs climb further into the dark, while to the right a broad archway leads to a huge corridor littered with rocks and debris that runs further than torchlight reveals”. Being cautious of litter strewn chambers the hobos took the stairs. 

“This barren and dry room is covered in uneven tile coated in a layer of dust. To the left, a short staircase leads down into a small room cluttered with dusty artifacts. On the opposite wall stands a doorway to a short hallway, at the end of which lies a visible sarcophagus situated between two large stone chests”.  We could not leave a sarcophagus undisturbed. The resident mummy lord and his wraithy chums did not take it well. “I will tear your souls apart!” Both Saff and Nara ended up enjoying life draining touches before our holy duo could blast the wicked spirits back to the Nether world with radiance. The hobos had enough of this area and returned to the stone room with the chimney. Bunny and Rammer were game to explore upwards. 

            The chimney was roughly finished and went up 200’ leading to a corridor that presented a monsterous chamber. “The light fades up into darkness, the ceiling of this vast chamber too far above to even be visible. At the center of the chamber stands a wonder: a colossal statue hundreds of feet tall, its head barely visible in the distant umber. Six arms, akimbo, encircle the statue, filling the room and reaching into every dark corner”. This was a little too much at the moment. Not yet.

Our group was now well beaten and exhausted fell back to base camp to recover and discuss this latest discovery.

  

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 232566 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 191806 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 188737 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 153574 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 170833xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 386513 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 218369 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 94392 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 153241 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P7) 77277 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d6/I

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 72722 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 77697 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F4) 9125 xp +10% <16000> CRT XXXX

Jogar the Nine-Fingered Robber (T4) 5725 +5% <9600> CRT XXXX

 

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 6 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 11 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

332 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Fifty-One when we ask the questions:

Big big big chamber, even bigger riddle?

Tale of the Tape

Saff -1 lvl

Nara -1 lvl

KILLS

Purple Worms (2) 

Mummy Lord 

Wraiths (4) 

LOOT

nope

New Plan Murder Something Else aka Run Away (Session 149)

SESSION 149: Inside the Earth & Beyond to the Black Mountains

 Day 7 Continued (13.22:Not of this world) – underground.

            The tunnel was a winding and twisting passage through the rock for a couple of miles until it opened into an enormously large cavern. After some tests to confirm it was really big, exploring along a wall was considered the best plan. They walked for an hour, until the light marker they had thrown in from the entrance was just a speck. Nothing was heard and nothing was seen. It was just stone and earth. Our hobos did not like all this nothing and decided enough was enough let us get out of here before things go sideways - "Fuck dis shiiit", drooled one our near toothless dwarves. They cut across the cavern to the illuminated marker and returned to the passageway. Some days even strange dimensions are quiet places.

A short time later they came to a newly revealed crevasse blocking passage. After some rope work the group had moved past and eventually made it back to the portal and jumped through. Another hobo pile as gravity once more shifted 90 degrees. Some discussion followed on how to possibly close the portal which may be the source of all the petrified entities. No consensus was found and so it was decided just to get the hell out of this hole and off the damnable plateau. 

Back on the surface Bunny radioed the second team with the horses. Biff and company confirmed they were in position and were just hanging out watching antelope play. The group decided to head another mile across the plateau to drop down very close to the horses. This plan was mostly ok except for the petrified razor grass that made the final mile a little bloody for those not wearing suits of armor. Getting to the edge Bunny setup the rope of climbing and the hobos reunited with the Horse Team and rode on. Good riddance stoopid plateau.

Sasha figured it would only take a couple of hours to get to the Blood River. Getting us there around dusk. It was decided to work the mounts a bit to shorten the ride. The rolling hills became smaller and smaller until transitioning into gently sloping grasslands that lead to the river bank. The Blood River was no small pickle, at some 300’ wide and a notable current. With the sun dipping behind the Dark Wall mountain range camp was set and our brain trust went to solving the river crossing. 

Day 8 – Cloudy: The night was uneventful but as camp was being broken Sasha caught sight of our target. The roc was in the air and gave a hint to the whereabouts of its nest. A number of plans were concocted for the crossing but they were all unnecessary as the hobos had forgotten that their folding boat could be much more than a simple canoe. It could be an honest to goodness ship with a cabin and all. It still took a number of crossing due to the horses but things got done at only the cost of the morning. Mounting up Sasha got her bearings and lead us forward. Beyond the Blood River, the rolling hills crest to a range of steep rocky cliffs, formed from a black basalt. Thus the name the Black Wall. 

            The afternoon was largely quiet beyond Sasha noting things including our target in the air but thankfully not noticing or paying us heed. The ride was slower due to the scrubby nature of the vegetation covering the hills. It was decided to find a tight pair of hills to camp between in hopes of not garnering unwanted attention. Shortly after setting camp, just as we were preparing our giant chicken dinner another group of free-range hobos crested the hill to the immediate west and let forth an acknowledgment. 

They were seven, on foot, led by a fiery haired fighting women of great melancholy. One of her wingmen announced themselves as the Claws of the Lioness. Ding-We now felt his own melancholy when he heard such a cool name for an adventuring band. They seemed cautious but not aggressive we could see that they had numerous adventures under their belts and did nothing without measure. 

Well, Carla saw this as a good chance to start things out on the wrong foot and immediately began casting a spell (know alignment). This immediately changed the temperature. Rouge Sonita let out a growl and her wingmen went to their pommels. From behind stepped Erik the Cleric, a wizard, an elf and a dwarf. Shit was about to go sideways until Steve waved a big chunk of giant chicken their way and offered to share repast. This did not quite do it but Erik the Cleric’s stern words for Carla and her companions regarding the Fifth Law of Muderhobo – no hobo shall allow another hob to starve while under the stars for tomorrow we shall likely die cold and alone in a forgotten tomb. 

Nara recognizing a fixable moment used her piousness and sexy purple legs to mend the situation further. This was enough for their dwarf (remember they are well known to be deviants) Chadnar to step forward with a mighty jug of dwarf juice and declare a hoboing. Rhags was giddy. Steve went back to cooking and the ‘Claws’ joined our camp. The evening was passed cheerily. They told us of their exploits and failure to find a hidden trove of treasure purported somewhere in the area. Ding-We kept trying to break the Second Law of Murderhobo – Find your own damn treasure, secrets are secrets. It didn’t really matter anyways as the Claws were getting low on resources and had enough of these wilds. They were heading back Liwil to recharge and plan their next move. The plateau came up and their opinion was it was something worth avoiding but it was the safest trajectory back to Liwil even though they had encountered a horned prehistoric beast that had impaled their druid "The idiot deserved it for acting like a stupid hippy", growled RS. She only seemed to know how to growl, total badass. The evening passed without encounter, probably because there was now a hobo army camped here. The morning came and our groups broke camp and moved on in opposite directions.

Day 9 – cloudy: After an hour or so we heard what sounded like a person in distress ahead of us, just over the next hill. The scouts moved to the crest to investigate. It was not an injured person but a cave bear that like an irritating parrot could mimic sounds. There were four more waiting just downslope and the lot of them charged. We had been duped by five bears. Sure lucky this occurred out in the wilderlands as we would be the laughing stock if our peers caught wind of this. The bears hit the scouts like a freight train almost tearing Biff in half. Things did not look good and Sasha thought it might be a bad time to bring up the dark shapes circling above watching the whole fiasco. The fight started out messy but the hobos decided to swing back around after Ding-We dropped a fire ball on the bears. Getting done with things there was the obligatory arguing on whether or whether not to spend the rest of the day skinning the bears. After some time and finally actually looking at the carcasses it was realized that we had made a mess of them. Ding-We instead decided to direct Sasha to lead us first to the bear lair before getting back to tracking the roc. Sasha agreed and pointed out that the things currently circling overhead were manticores (she was not certain these were the only things in the air) and would probably happily take the free meal and leave us alone if we moved along. The sooner the better you never know what else lurks in and about these hills.

The trail veered our trajectory to the north and for the second time today another ambush. This time it was by a band of anthropophagi hill giants. These guys were screwed up. Wearing paper-mache masks of serpent demons. They wore hideous sackcloth clothes made from tanned humanoid skins along with the bizarre masks creating a horrific appearance (Courtney Campbell). They shrieked with glee as the back line lobbed boulders into the air and the two wing giants ran in to grab dinner from, once again, our scouts. Rock rained from the sky and the fight was. These guys had no fear and things got complicated as only so many of the hobos could even see them. Biff for the second time today was almost murdered as a boulder landed on his head permanently compressing his spinal column. He collapsed to the ground 6” shorter than moments ago he was. The fight raged on. The hobos took some lumps before laying low these inbred giants. The looting which followed provided some neat stuff. Much like the scarab of death that Rahgnar plucked off one of the humanoid hide suits. The scarab activated and burrowed into Rahgnar’s arm. He acted quickly plunging his own blade into himself nearly took off his arm but he did neutralize the digging death. Once again we cleaned up and went back on the hunt for the degenerate cave bear lair. Sasha was a little shocked that she easily found the bear spore again. 

We got to the lair. A stinking hole in the base of the Black Wall. Searching the litter and refuse looked to be a bust but Carla found a leather pouch rock hard with age partially obfuscated by bone and rock. It was packed with platinum pieces from a bygone era. Nice payoff. We ended up being not all that far from our target and arrived at the roc nest early in the afternoon discovering something a little more concerning than just a big bird. 

Cutting into the mountain range was a narrow mountain pass, marked by a towering 80’ tall serpent-man statue carved in the adjoining cliff. The statue has been shorn asunder, a deep crack in the stone separating the leg from the rest of the statue. There appears to once have been a matching or similar statue on this side of the pass that had long since crumbled like we had hoped that the empire of the serpent-men had done long ago. The roc nest was conveniently placed high in the cliff face atop of the blasphemous monument. Nara mumbled how evil never really dies it seems. 

The roc appeared not to be home. Ding-We thought this made for a good time to take the captain’s seat. He quaffed back a dram of a flying potion. He and Saff arched into the air towards the nest dreams of sugar rubies in his eyes. The nest was not actually empty. Two man-sized hatchlings were present. The animals did not notice the arrival as they were pecking away at something or the other. Ding-We drunk on the dream of riches directed Saff to zap the birds with sleepy arrows. It took a couple of tries and that resulted in some noise but afterwards Ding-We directed Saff to go rooting through the nest for his riches as he watched. Saff did find a red and a blue gem rather quickly. She held the two somewhat underwhelming finds up for Dinger to see just as Momma bird dropped out of the clouds silent as death. 

“Look mummy, there's an aeroplane up in the sky” – gribbled Saff. It hit Ding-We hard really fucking hard and just missed connecting with both sets of talons along with a pulverizing blow from the beak. If it had Ding-We would have been torn asunder. As it was he was a dead man if he did not immediately escape. So he turned himself into a fart and left Saff to buzz out on her own. The rest of our hobos could only look up the 150’ in horror and fear that one of them would be next. Now was a good time to retreat. Behind the ancient serpent-man statute, the narrow valley cut into the Dark Wall, would this be our escape or just a jump from the pot to the frier?

Angel of suffering smiles and so does the DM.

 

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 231115 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 190355 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 187286 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 152123 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 169382 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 385132 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 216918 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 92941 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 152516 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P7) 76552 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d6/I

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 71997 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 76972 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da (F3)

Jogar the Nine-Fingered (T4)

 

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 8 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 13 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

330 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Forty-Nine when we ask the questions:

Will we return to that hole and its portal to figure or finish things?

Will we ever see the Claws of the Lioness again?

Who teaches bears how to make such twisted noises?

Anthropophagus giants with snake demon masks what madness is this?

What trouble could we get into going into a pass under the baleful eye of a serpent-man statue?

Tale of the Tape

No Neck Biff! Compressed spine -6’ height, -5’ mv, -10% to thieving abilities

KILLS

Degenerate Cave Bears (5) 

Hill Giant Anthropophagi’s (7) 

LOOT

57 pp

5000 gp

Gems: Red 50 gp, Blue 100 gp

+1 Broadsword

Scarab of Death – destroyed

Sword +1 of Dancing

Scroll: Plane Shift