SESSION 152: Welcome to the Jungle
Once more we returned to the statue-wheel chamber but this time we would focus on what we saw along the back wall, a hidden ledge with a passageway.
Reminder: Bold descriptive stuff by C. Campbell.
“A strange fungus lines the walls and rear floor of the massive cavern. It climbs all the way up to the underside of the stone shelf that encircles the walls. The fungus grows on, in, and through a dozen rotting bodies that lay scattered through the area”. There were some shenanigans about this area but it does not warrant record. The cave mouth was the interesting thing. It led us to an alien forest bathed in a dim purple glow the cast a shadowy radiance across the land. The forest was filled with strange plants with gaping pods for leaves, slick 14’ tall orange tubes, and strange fleshy trunks that have vertical folds, stretches out to the limit of vision. This was so weird that even Saff was weirded out but she is also easily distracted and so forgot to mention how the forest was ‘insaner than her’. It seemed that the forest was in some sort of bowl with a sheer face behind us and the forest ahead. Climbing into the purple light seemed like a bad idea and so we looked forward. Not too far ahead the ground sloped upwards as the vegetation transitioned from space shrubs to space trees as the ground rose up, a large hill or small mountain? It was tough to say, only one way to find out. We quickly learned that not all plants are neutral when one blasted Steve with acid. And then we came upon a group of strange creatures, sitting or nesting or something in and around the ruins of a building. They were like little stuffed skin bags (2’) and all wore porcelain masks. Carla attempted to communicate with the creatures that mutely staired at us. Carla’s interaction resulted in the things whistling in different tones. She had hoped that this was a language but her crown of comprehension did not agree. “I understand languages!”, she petitioned to the heavens. The gods expected more from a high priestess and gave no response, she would have to figure this out on her own. Eventually, she simply whistled back. The things then pantomimed laughter as the sound of jingling bells fill the air and then indicated that the party should follow them.
Through the forest and around the side of the hill the littles guys brought our hobos to “a twisted lump of metal and steel rises high into the sky. Rusty gears, poles, plates, and clockwork mechanisms form a disorganized tower that stretches nearly one hundred feet in the air. An area has been cleared near the bottom, underneath a crafted roof that shields it from the elements. A yellow glow of light, life, and warmth spills out from beneath the roof”. This was the home of their master and creator the Collector – Narlag an ancient alien wizard whom travels space and time in search of the answers to the creation of eternal servitors. He was both grumpy and somewhat interested in dialogue. In between bouts of open irritation he told us about his creations the “Ik” and how they were an imperfect attempt to create his own Optics. The Optics being the slaves of the Occulus that was the entity that controlled the stronghold beyond the forest. After having tea with Narlag it was decided that rather than pressing on we would fall back to the statue chamber and investigate the golem protected gate.
Working back down the slope to the cavern Bimbles required relief and stepped to the side to let go. “Hmmm what an alluring scent, I must investigate”, he took a number of steps into the brush in search of the floral scent and came upon a fleshy pillar plant. A short time later Ding-We inquired to Dolec where his marching partner was “He stepped aside to take a whiz a minute ago”, “And where is he now?”, “Umm somewhere behind us”. The team did an about face and began searching for Bimbles. Biff found him, “Hey bud whatcha doing to that plant?...Oh what an alluring scent…” Eventually the two were found and they were completely preoccupied with giving the strange fleshy pillar plant some good loving. Bunny was shocked but then, “Oh what an alluring scent” and began loosening her garments as she approached the growing inaugural Plant Fuckers gathering. “Steve chop down that plant but do try not to knock off those idiots peckers!” directed Raul. There was protest from the aforementioned PFers, both Biff and Bimbles took a swing at Steve just before he hacked down the love plant at the ground. Bunny grabbed the thing as it fell off of the two weirdos and began to position it in a non-family friendly way just as the allure faded away. “WHAT THE BLUE BLOODY HELL!” she exclaimed before tossing the thing aside and zipping up her body suit. The other two took a little longer and simply stood there thrusting into the wind for a few more moments. Saffron noted, “why isn’t that green Biff?”. The rest just tried to erase everything they just saw from their memories. Saff was contrary to this agenda – “Biff and Bim standing in the forest and F-U-C-K-I-N-G any old plant!” “Double stuffed! Double stuffed! That’s how they like to do it!”. Our hobos used this opportunity to double time it back to the cave and the statue chamber to once more ride the hand to the upper platform before Saff started constructing any really effective poetry.
Once more at the steps and facing the one remaining golem. We thought that we had the advantage as we understood the game and we did but it did not prevent Jogar from being pulverized into paste. There was nothing left worth collecting so we pressed on up the steps to the gate. Bunny and Rammer felt that it was like “totally safe to pass through” and so we did.
Enter the ruined stronghold we did under that strange pervasive purple glow. It was decided time was not currently of the essence. The group would return to base camp and collect the rest of the horde before exploring the ruins and so back down we went.
Is it tomorrow or just the end of time? - Jimi Hendrix
ROLECALL
Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 232566 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III
Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm
Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 191806 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III
Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm
Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 188737 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V
Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)
Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 153574 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV
Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)
Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)
Raul the Voyager (MD8) 170833xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4,
Removed one of his own nostrils.
Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 386513 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I
Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)
Bunny the Thief! (T9) 218369 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II
Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand
Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 94392 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II
Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)
Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp
Missing six teeth talks with a lisp
The Henchmen
Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 153241 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III
Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen
Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts
Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)
Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic
Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P7) 77277 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d6/I
Wraith Drained: -1 CON
Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 72722 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II
Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving
Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 77697 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III
Dolec Da the Hero (F4) 9125 xp +10% <16000> CRT XXXX
Jogar the Nine-Fingered Robber (T4) 5725 +5% <9600> CRT XXXX
‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II
Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II
Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III
Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II
Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)
Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)
RESERVES
Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV
REMAINING RECUPERATION: 4 DAYS
Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)
Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D
Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV
REMAINING RECUPERATION: 9 DAYS
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face
Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm
Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)
Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1
Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT
Elapsed Campaign Time
334 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)
Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Fifty-Three when we ask the questions:
Tale of the Tape
Jogar, the nine-fingered mashed into paste
KILLS
Bronze golem
LOOT
1000 sp
Pearl 1000 gp
Gold inlaid ivory horn 1200 gp
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