Who the Hell puts a Tree in Charge? (Session 18)

 SESSION 18: One Bad Apple (3 APR 16)

The party reunites as they prepare to converge on the prize. Raul & Steve kept their heads down and safely avoided mishap as they closed the gap (Denethix to Tranzar's). But first let us go down this passageway over here… and that is how we met Mr. Gravelskin an emaciated stone giant throwing a very special tea party. 

            Gravelskin sitting at the head of a human sized table dressed in foppish cloths. His present guests are three bound and gagged village folk (common simps). Well he demands that our Hobos join in or things could become difficult, not like its avoidable the big guy is super nutty. Eventually, after some mad sputter and talk of eating people swords and stuff starts a-swinging. Dwarves sought cover underneath the table, a sack was discovered and casualties were narrowly avoided (excluding Mr. Gravelskin of course). Around this time the party figures out that the big candle is more than just wax, perhaps even a solution to the wall of fire. Before getting to that though they go down another corridor discovering a space egg with radioactive space zombie included! They stole the owner’s manual and moved along. This lead them to the room with the prizes (Sword & Crown) but they were beyond reach. And so they backtracked to the fire in hopes of later finding a helpful tool to claim the artifacts. 

            The candle deflamed the wall. Revealing the lair of Shezhou the vegetal god. A wicked gnarled tree adorned like Donald trumps Christmas tree with human heads dangling from every branch and an evil countenance on its trunk with two colossal cleaver wielding skeletons flanking it. “Your suffering will be brief, animals. My hunger burns!” The animated behemoths lumbered forward and Shezhou released twisted magics raising a horde of skeleton archers. Our Hobos get a little smart at this point and extinguish the candle to return the barrier between them and the boss monster. We eventually enter into full blown combat. Arrows and oil fly, incantations are recited and advantage swings between groups until finally the Tree burning and broken can no longer weather the onslaught. The Hobos are victorious, the tree that would be god is but cinder. Time to loot! A box with a still beating heart, destroy it! And with that the final mortal remains of Tranzar are destroyed ending his eldritch enchantments. 

            Returning to the chamber of sword & crown we find that they have dropped to the ground. The sword though is in possession of a vast and cold intellect that abhors contact with all but the most pious of goody-two-shoes, demanding delivery to the proper authorities. And so our ragged and yet oddly still living band make for the exit. Coming face-to-face with the beautiful and deadly pit boss from the casino also heading exit stage left. “Don’t even think of fucking with me meat!” she hisses and continues hurriedly in the direction of freedom. 

            Periodically having moments of clarity, the party elects to go down the other corridor that had weird lighting. This leads to a no-longer as functional trap containing three bizarre flying angler fish or birds or bird-fish or fish-birds or whatever. Chop, chop, chop suey. After this the hobos do now decide to get the hell outta Dodge.  Bains & Banes are long gone and ghouls are starting to roam. Out the door and through the forest back to the road where we cut loose the rescued simpies and then back to Chelmfordshire for some rest and ale before making the final push back to Denethix and the Grand Temple to show the gods that these murderin’ hobos can get jobs done. With a bullet.

 

 ROLECALL

Carla the Green Priestess of TMB (C3) 6167 xp +10%

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Conjurer (W3) 6527 xp +5% (made it by 63) + 250

Bimbles the Priest of GSS (C3) 5950 xp +5% (156)

Hobo Steve the Swordsman (F3) 4507 xp +5% (101)

Lenardo the Graduate (S2) 2521 xp

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Rahgnar the Dwarven Veteran (D1) 1734 xp 

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Drifter (MD2) 2377 xp

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Swordmaster (D2) 2982 xp 

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

  

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Warrior (B2) 

Mighty Nord the Warrior (B2)

Bunny (T2) 

Sloth the Goon (L1) 

RESERVES 

Calvin the Bold Observer (MM2) 2526 xp

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 15 DAYS

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Ramrod the Robber (T3) 3133 xp  +5%

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 2 DAYS

                        Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip noticeable limp              

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY3) 10621

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 4 DAYS

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen 

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

45 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session nineteen when we ask the questions:

Are we gonna get rich or what?

Is it time we take care of that problem we got in Denethix?

Are we in the big leagues yet and why didn’t we answer this the last time it was asked?

Tale of the Tape

No adverse effects to be noted

KILLS 

Mr. Gravelskin

Space Zombies (2) 

Giant skeletons (2) 

Skeleton archers (6) 

Zombies (6) 

Shezhou the Vegetative God 

Angler Fish (3) 

Tranzar’s still beating heart 

LOOT

Silver ring with ruby inset 

A simple golden band 

A bunch of scrolls (or maybe two, you better keep good records)

The Sword & Crown 

Some potions and special oil

A real nice dagger 

Wooden folding boat

Big giant Ruby (2)  

2000 cp

700 gp

Mr. Bad Whispers rag doll

Wand 

Brazier 

Deflamer

World's Smallest Dungeon? (Session 17)

 SESSION 17: On a Mission from the Gods (3 APR 16)

            Triumphantly standing outside Eruptor’s lair the party considered their options. Back to town! Back to town! Other options be damned. And so they headed back to Chelmfordshire and the Muddy Cup. Things went along fine until they encountered a random robbery at the crossroads. Quickly dispatched was Jimmy and his rotten band excluding their lug Sloth, a friendly soul under control by a black-hearted gang. The unexpected powers of a sorcerer quickly dispatched the wretched band. Carla quickly noted that Sloth’s true nature and recruited him to our band of morally evolving murderhobos. They them roped up the brigands and sold them to the Clenched fist for hopeful future favours…

            Later they finally returned to the Cup for a good nights rest. The following day during breakfast the calm was broken by Flavor-Flav the flying monkey bringing directives for Carla and Bimbles from the mad space god known as Taft Master B! A disturbance in the force was messing with shit. They were given a map to Tranzar’s redoubt to resolve an issue of blasphemous ascension and artifact recovery. They then put foot to road. 20 miles later they found the overland path and entered into the rolling hills of moderately dense mixed forest. Travel was not bad as there was remnants of an ancient road overgrown but manageable as it obviously now used as an animal trail. Working their way in they failed to trip up a pair of hill giants and Smelf encountered a group of well equipped gnomes nobody will believe that part, not that Smelf will ever get to share this story round a fire anyways… Eventually they make it to the clearing outside of Tranzar’s joint and camp for the evening.

            Breakfast and then they entered a dark passageway leading to the entry door, unlocked. Opening the door revealed a rather large mushroom in a room. Mighty Yord took no risks and wrecked the thing with a well-placed javelin. This released a cloud of spores and for heath and safety reasons entry was postponed a little bit. 

            The next room was the residence and dungeon supplies shop of Banes & Bains a nine-foot two-headed humanoid-like creature and his/their giant sized dog Mr. Peebles and two sitting cloaked figures. Even though this creature seemed made for eating people it was guided by a strong mercantile drive. With our Hobos showing enough smarts to initiate a trade scenario the general atmosphere of the chamber became much more cordial. B&B sold the hobos three potions extracted from three adjacent magical fountains: wrath, sloth and gluttony. Respectively the fluids were guaranteed to : Enhance fighting spirit, Reduce adventuring stress and Affects an enhanced sense of well-being. "Trust us, these will keep you little monkeys jumping. Thank-you and come again."

            The only apparent direction to progress was beyond the curtain at B&B’s back and they were not supporting this plan. It took more than a little wheeling dealing (plus some lucky negotiation rolling) we get passage through the mysterious curtain. Revealing a dark corridor that led our hobos to the next surprise. The party found themselves face-to-face with Tranzar and two dancing skeletons in a throne room.

                " That was quick. Great we will be back at the Muddy Cup in time for dinner. Nothing like fresh mold stew."  

            Long battle short, this Tranzar was a fake. He was on fact some hob-gob wearing his boss’s face. After a little bit of looting the horde pressed on. The excitement of the dungeon being completed quickly faded as they pressed on in search of treasure and fame. Instead things were only going to get weirder. 

            Discovering a casino full of ghouls and a vampire pit boss, they ran rather than accept the invitation to win big. On to a large room divided by a wall of fire they look for alternatives. Perhaps something like a large candle on a table flanked by two crystal statues. Smelf was not of two-minds until he grabbed the candle and was split asunder by one of the now animated statues. The Hobos quickly dispatched the gaurdians and fell back to the previous room to collect their thoughts…

Concurrently with all this murderhoboing, Raul and Hobo Steve booked passage to Denethix to deposit cash monies with the Commonweal Secure Holdings at the Bank Inviolable and the bulky junk at the apartment (dragon scales etc.). In an isolated act of forethought each group is in possession of a sending stone that made direction giving a breeze. After which they moved to reunite with their chums.

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Priestess of TMB (C3) 6089 xp +10%

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm, and she is green

Ding-We the Conjurer (W3) 6449 xp +5% (made it by 63) + 250

Bimbles the Priest of GSS (C3) 5872 xp +5% (156)

Hobo Steve the Swordsman (F3) 4457 xp +5% (101)

Lenardo the Graduate (S2) 2443 xp

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Rahgnar the Dwarven Veteran (D1) 1656 xp 

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Drifter (MD2) 2327 xp

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Swordmaster (D2) 2904 xp 

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

 

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Warrior (B2) +143 + 153+115+ 296+181+157

Mighty Nord the Warrior (B2)+181+ 157

Bunny (T2) +181 + 157

Smelf the Halfling veteran (H1) +181 +157

 

RESERVES

 

Calvin the Bold Observer (MM2) 2526 xp

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 17 DAYS

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Ramrod the Robber (T3) 3133 xp  +5%

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 4 DAYS

                        Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip noticeable limp              

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY3) 10621

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 6 DAYS

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen 

 

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

43 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session eighteen when we ask the questions:

Will the party communicate any useful info to Raul & Steve?

Will Raul & Steve get outta Denethix and reunite with the party, alive?

 

Tale of the Tape

Chopped from stem to stern by a crystal scimitar Smelf was divided

KILLS 

Fake Tranzar 

Bride & Groom Skeletons

A big Mushroom

2 Crystal Statues

A bunch of gross pods and vines

 

LOOT

56 sp

8 gp 

wand

boots

necklace

2 scrolls (MM and detect good 10’)