In Search of Big Bird (Session 144)

 SESSION 144: In Search of the Big Bird

            Riding out of Helix and into the predominantly oak dominated deciduous forest. Sasha was familiar with an ancient road that has largely become a game trail – it would expedite the first leg of the journey prior to crossing the mighty Blood River. 

Where are we going you ask. Well, some days past while returning to Helix from that nasty tomb that was plundered for many months or years based on one's unit of measure, our hobo mob was attacked by a pair of rocs. One escaped and that put weevils in Ding-We's peg leg. With the complete of the tomb of tombs other sources of revenue were required. Our resident wizard was certain that a nest could be found and it would hold a mint. Now back to our previously scheduled exploration of the vast unknown...

            Day 1 (Hexes 19.24 à 18.23) – Following the game trail a pleasant late summer day. Towards the end of the travelling day Sasha crossed path with a hunting pack of trolls. She lured them back to the horde and bloody melee went down. Hobos were victorious but took a bit of a beating. Dinger figured that there must be a loot filled lair somewhere near and elected to put together a raiding party to find it. And so we broke the party in half. One group hunting for trolls while the others set up camp and made sure the horses were protected. Sasha again taking lead the hunters plunged into the forest. It took a couple of hours but they did eventually approach the ‘lair’. Proximity was confirmed when we clashed with a troll patrol. Unfortunately we were slow to cover the sounds of combat and heard the alarm go off not far away from us. Ding-We took to the air to get eyes on the prize. It was more than a lair. We stood on the outskirts of a full blown Troll village sitting on a rather large domed mound. At least nine caves and some sort of ruin atop the mound with lots and lot of trolls either taking cover or preparing for war. Dinger wanted to nuke it but could not immediately understand the spatial limitations of his arsenal in respect to the layout of the village. His inner turmoil was quelled when he realized he was on the verge of losing the rest of the group as they made a hasty retreat and that the trolls also had spellcasters that were formulating a plan to nuke him. He was very close to becoming lost but reconnected in the nick of time. They returned to camp and hoped that the trolls would not find them during the fast approaching night. This was likely the first of many upcoming reminders that the wilderness is a dangerous place.

            Day 2 (Hex 18.23) – It was cloudy this morning, rain was coming. Continuing on the game trail, we started the day riding hard to get past and beyond the influence of the troll village. After a couple of hours we let up as fatigue was evident and we didn’t really want to run our horses into the ground on our second day. Around midday the trail became very clean, perhaps too clean. The path glistened in the sunlight. Further examination showed that the trail and forest floor was not only free of debris but it was criss-crossed by pearlescent tracks approximately three feet in width. This confused our brain trust for a bit. Ding-We failed in generating any ideas but Raul mused – “This sure looks like a snail trail of unusual size, and if that is so this shiny stuff is abula and carries alchemical value”. “Value you say”, gribbled Ding-We. “Well lets mine this junk!” did the Ding-We proclaim. Dismounting and bringing forth the tools harvesting began. It was slow going. We were at it for a couple of hours when the creator appeared. Yup, it was a giant snail coming at us. It’s velocity afforded us some time. A quick pow-wow later the hobos agreed that giant slugs are a real bummer and should be avoided perhaps suggesting that a giant snail may also be a real bummer. Bimbles didn’t fully agree but he had forgotten poor Lenny’s slimy demise. The rest of the gang quickly mounted their horses and made a dash around the creature. Bimbles wasn’t going to do this alone and suite. We rode for another hour or so and then stopped for camp. The sky was turning black and rain was coming. Our group searched their bags and noticed that not a single one had made any plan for inclement weather. It was going to be a wet night.

            Day 3 (Hex 18.23 à17.23) – Shaking off the evenings rain we pushed on albeit a little slow and stiff. At least the clouds had rained themselves out. A short while out from camp we came along a massive pine tree. Roosting far up in its branches was a bat of unusually huge size. Sasha observed it early and notified the group. Uncertain of the possibilities we slunk past with the bat none the wiser. Later in the day we came upon a roadside shrine and an associated campsite. Carla, always one seeking safety made a generous donation to whichever deity may be recipient of her sacrifice (1 FREE CRIT AVOIDANCE w/in 7 days). As she did this some of the other hobos investigated the campsite that was circled with stones once carved to resembled trees now well rounded from ages of weathering. Something was off. Blood splatters and drag marks going NE, somewhat fresh. We followed. A short distance later coming to a mounded clearing (aren’t they all?). Sasha was just sneaky enough to avoid a very large insect type abomination that exploded from the ground. It was an ankheg and it was hungry. The hobos had the jump on the nasty bug and gave it a good chopping. As it collapsed a passageway was revealed. 

What do we have here?

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Matriarch of TMB (C8) 143492 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 186732 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 183663 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Champion (D7) 141500 xp <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 165759 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

                                                

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 381509 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 213295 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 89318 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 150805 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P7) 74841 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d6/I

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 70286 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 75261 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 14 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

            

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 19 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: -2 INT

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

324 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Forty-Five when we ask the questions:

This wilderness seems very variable how is that fair?

What was up with that giant snail?

How does a troll village exist within 10 miles of Helix? (Welcome to the wilds.. Assholes!)

Could Bimbles beat a giant snail?

Tale of the Tape

Nothing yet, wait for it. 

KILLS

Trolls (10)  9800

Ankheg 980

LOOT

Zippy the Pinhead

Death on the Instalment Plan(Session 143)

 SESSION 143: The Hard Way Back

            With a rest cycle under our wheels and Charles stuffed in the portable hole for future raising we made our dash for Helix. Yay! As soon as we got to the surface we found ourselves surrounded by zombies. We guessed, correctly, that this was Lord V’s legion of dummies. With his fall they lost command and just hung around. Until now when the smell of flesh became apparent. We nuked them good.

            Back in the swamp and making a beeline for Helix. We were a ways off our usual corridor but pointed in the right direction. We ran into a rancid opening in the bracken covered mire. And lo arose the corpse orgy! A congealed mass of dead things. Hundreds of rotting faces of a multitude of species and races. Our horde ran at it and it let loose a scream from each of those rotting faces. Boris’s head imploded blood and brains were expelled from his eyes, ears, mouth and nose. He collapsed into the swamp. Writhing in his death throes. Many others were close to the same fate. “RUN AWAY!!” Sloth dropped his weapon like the giant-hearted lug he is and grabbed Boris as our group plunged back into that bracken choked swamp. We ran until Steve could run no more. Aid of the Gods was given to Boris. He stayed just on the right side of death’s door. We pressed on hoping for no more encounters, too many were already broken and bleeding. 

            We were so close, so close. And then a colossal creature crossed our path. Not only was it a brontosaurus but it was also a mobile dino-village. Rested atop a platform affixed to the beasts back was a strangely quiet settlement. How many lives do these cats have left? Ghouls exploded out of the hamlet grabbing ropes and vines doing their best Tarzan impressions as they attempted to consume all flesh. Again things did not play out in my favour as the hobos were able to eradicate the ghoulish swarm and then even release the ancient dinosaur from its servitude. It seems these were glamour ghouls and our reward was a mountain of jewels. Pressing on. Our hobos did actually get back to Helix. Collapsing back to our barracks the gang had a good long sleep.

            Returning to business. We began our preparations to seek out the roc nest, there was certainty that this would lead to mucho treasure for our mongrels. Running concurrently with this: Ding-We sought out our wayward ranger Sasha to kiss her ass sufficiently to lead the expedition; Carla and Bimbles saw to the mostly dead Charging Charles calling down a direct spiritual channeling from TMB to bring CC back from the realm of death; the other idiots ate, drank and farted for a couple of days. Sasha was quick to point out the likely distance to the roc nest and the significant amount of time it would take to walk. Horses were ordered from Ironguard Motte. The horses showed up at the end of the afore mentioned ‘couple of days’ and we finally rode out on a fine morning.

            

What adventure awaits us in the vast wilderlands?

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Matriarch of TMB (C8) 138876 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 182116 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 179047 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Champion (D7) 136884 xp <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 161143 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 315102 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

                                                

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 376893 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 208679 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 84702 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 148497 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 133152 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P7) 72533 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d6/I

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 67978 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)  

            DEAD.

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

FYI: Charles is dead.  

Elapsed Campaign Time

319 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Forty-Four when we ask the questions:

Are we going to return to the Corpse Orgy in hopes of reclaiming our lost items?

Are we too lazy to do the crawl to find the roc nest?

If we are not, what evil, and adventure, lurks beyond the green oak forests west of Helix?

Tale of the Tape

The corpse orgy was way too much we ran like little bitches

Boris had another bad day, his head mostly imploded making him dumbner and he lost his sword (so did Sloth)

Charles was raised from death by the powers of TMB- Halleluiah! 

Sasha was re-recruited 

KILLS

Zombies (50) 1450

Ghouls (45) 2115

LOOT

Large rubies (2) 6000 gp each

8850 gp

61000 sp

 

A mountain of jewels (60) – 29,500

Curious Hobos Find Death (Session 142)

 SESSION 142: We are Curious Georges

            Again we start with looting corpses. Steve used this time to fully sit down and have some cheese and bread. As anti-luck would have it these deader guys items were of deep and intense EVIL. This meant a shortage of super loot but it seemed that Mummy Lord of Nergal #4 was something of a fancy boy his headdress could, and was, disassembled into a nice shiny pile of components. He was like the Mr. T of the undead set wrapped in jewelry and gems. This sort of heists tend to create questions like – “I wonder what they were up to over yonder, perhaps more piles of loot?” and this leads to responses like – “Only one way to find out!” And so, we went south towards whatever the dead were doing. Why head home – right?

            Trudging a hundred or so feet we discovered a sealed barrow mound. The coverstone of this mound depicted a skull over a rose in bas relief - the symbol of The Black Legion. As we have learned in our expeditions the Black Legion was Nergal’s elite force of warriors and, alongside The Chosen, formed a formidable regiment. Carla and Frankie could sense something amiss outside this mound but it was too late. Curiosity had again well gripped our horde. Out came the tools and we smashed our way in. 

            A stone staircase descends into this crypt. Nine small black stone statues of Nergal line the walls of this tomb. The wall frescos depict Lord Varghoulis of Nergal defeating the forces of law (In life he was a blood-thirsty dark warrior who was defeated at the cost of many good knights. His forces withdrew with his body and interred him here centuries ago-ed.). Moving to the second chamber it contained a large sarcophagus. The lid is shaped in bas relief depicting Varghoulis in full armor, and his eyes are set with large (but fake; figured out in a bit) rubies. The body in the sarcophagus was a wight in platemail. After dodging some level draining fun it became obvious that the undead creature was intended to fool would-be tomb-robbers from plundering the crypt of Varghoulis. There must be something else. Some searching later, a fair amount of time later as we were not looking in the right spot a secret door was discovered in the connecting corridor. 

            This is the final resting place of Lord Varghoulis, who has risen as a Death Knight. It seems that it did not take long for the hobos to find a remnant of Nergal's power.

 

The large tomb had a centrally located sarcophagus and two pillars slightly behind and between them stood Lord V and was bracketed by his four lieutenants. Anyone who was anyone has got them these days. Charles and Frankie charged without thought, one from lunacy and the other from a sword smarter than its wielder. V was ready and dropped a fireball on the party as his knights advanced forward. 

        “Oh shit” – the hobos exclaimed in unison. 

Frankie was incinerated, making the chamber smell like an Outback Steakhouse. Charles also succumbed to the blast. The smell of his burning flesh made things even less pleasant. The rest of the group now had the distinct feeling that this was a bad plan after a previously poorly thought out plan.

            At the same time some of our gang was in the first chamber and they were greeted by a legion of skeletons pouring in from the surface. Once again hell broke loose, and once more we were on a slippery slope. Perhaps it was Lord V’s arrogance and disdain for fragile living humans that gave us a window to turn the tide or maybe yet again my dice have betrayed me. We may never know. 

            The gang, more or less, survived another dance with death. Two down and a bunch more clinging to life but we may have finally finally destroyed what was left of Nergal’s infernal legions. Only time will tell. We bandaged our wounds and sealed ourselves in. A rest was necessary if we were going to attempt the journey back to Helix.

 

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Matriarch of TMB (C8) 135578 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 178998 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 175929 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Champion (D7) 133766 xp <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 158025 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 311984 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

                                                

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 373775 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 205561 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Pilferer (T7) 77584 xp +5% <80001> CRT 1d16/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 146938 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 131593 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Siddha Girl (P6) 61674 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 66419 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45422 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)  

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

All healed up and ready to go, for now.         

Elapsed Campaign Time

319 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Forty-Three when we ask the questions:

Are we going to make a run for Helix yet?

What more could we find beyond that stone barrier?

If we do head back are we leaving or are we going to check out that treasure map Ding-We stuck under his mattress? 

Tale of the Tape

Frankie was incinerated

Charles charged into fiery death but he was stuffed in a bag for possible later raising

KILLS

Wight

Vargoulis Black Knight of Nergal 4000

Skeletons (50) 650

Crypt Knights (4) 1900

LOOT

Lots of gems (31) 5910 gp

Jewelry in abundance (17) 7820 gp

Potions: Sweet Water, Frost giant control

+1 Shortsword

Headdress of Nergal (disassembled) 7500 gp

Escaping Barrowmaze with the Loot (Session 141)

 SESSION 141: Mountains of Treasure

            ..And so we began to dig through Ossithrax’s mountain of treasure. Stuff! Stuff! Stuff!

As the accountants tabulated the horde others investigated what appeared to be a collapsed passage. Air was flowing through it. It was a passage and did lead to the surface. After logging and stowing away the dragon’s horde digging commenced. A tunnel dug by Ossithrax during its life lead to a destroyed and lost tomb just beyond the dome of the barrowmounds. 

            It was day but definitely not a very nice one. The fog was extra thick and unnatural grasping everything like an icy clawed hand. Beaten, bruised and laden with treasure. We were about to make a run for Helix but the sound of steeds moving somewhere south of us on the mound was too much to ignore. Creeping back onto the barrowmound we could now hear the sound of excavation efforts. Pressing on towards the clamour. Passing a mound atop of which sat a mummified cat that released a screech that cut through the fog like a hot knife in butter. All went silent as it leapt into the fog. From beyond came the sound of armored beings marching and hooves striking earth.

            The coming of Necrowretch. First a force of crypt knights breached the fog in front of our group. This was something of a distraction as their leaders moved into position behind the hobos. As the frontline clashed with the warrior skeletons the fog parted revealing the Necrowretch and his two lieutenants – Mummy Lord of Nergal #4 and Death Knight Might! All atop grotesque rotting steeds that glistened from the constant secretion of gangrenous fluids. The trio all wore heavy blackened armour spiked and bearing the mark of their dead god. Atop the head of each was a crown of bone adorned with the viscera of foes long since forgotten. No words came from their mouths but when the Necrowetch raised his arm to mark our hobos with the judgement of Nergal a sound was heard like rupturing boils and breaking glass. The minions of the lost god of death would do Nergal's bidding as they have always done. Dread magics rained done upon the group from the the black trio as the soldiers relentlessly drove into the hobos. The next part was plain and simply - war. The battle was observed from afar by the Lords (Yigg) and Eyes (TMB, Spinning Stars) of Order favoured the eradication of the lieutenants of blasphemous undeath. It was with this favour our brave hobos did shine this day on the battlefield. Perhaps this would be final nail for ancient Nergal his minions eradicated and his final fonts of power obliterated. One of his sons would fill the void as death can never truly be beaten but the Ancient One has now been removed from the field. Set and Orcus would battle amounts themselves for years to come while the forces or Order would watch and plan but that is a story for another day. Today the hobos stand atop Barrowmaze as the fog clears and the first rays of sunlight touchdown upon the mound in generations.

            Dropping to a knee to grab a breath, not because they are some idiot commie types in need of sterilization but because we were very lucky to be standing above the field of corpses. The clerics felt a wave of cleansing spiritual energy that came with the sense that Nergal was truly and finally banished from this plane.

 

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Matriarch of TMB (C8) 135578 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 178998 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 175929 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Champion (D7) 133766 xp <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 158025 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 311984 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

                                                

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 373775 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 205561 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Pilferer (T7) 77584 xp +5% <80001> CRT 1d16/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 146938 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 131593 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Siddha Girl (P6) 61674 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 66419 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45422 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)  

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

All healed up and ready to go, for now.         

Elapsed Campaign Time

319 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Forty-Two when we ask the questions:

Will we get back to Helix?

Is that it, are we actually going to set sail?

Should we really check out what team Necrowretch was up to?

Tale of the Tape

Nara, infused with special insight +5,000xp

KILLS

Crypt Knights (10) 4750

Necrowretch  2500

Mummy Lord of Nergal 2500

Death Knight Might!  4000

LOOT

None since I awarded the dragon’s horde already and we didn’t get around to looting the bodies

Barrowmaze the Final Battle (Session 140)

 SESSION 140: Carnage in (Another) Temple of the Damned (there really is no shortage of these things)

            In a corridor staring at a sealed crypt door not far north of the big steel doors of Nergal and the presumptive final boss. “Should we just do it?” “No let’s get back to town rest up, commune and grab Rammer” “What about these last three crypts?” “Leave ‘em”. And so our hobos crept their way out and back to Helix to plan the final assault.

            The journey was buggy, wet, scratchy and cold. So really not bad at all. Returning to Helix we found Rammer and the other odds and sods making the most of a virtually unlimited stack of coin and assorted loot. They were well into another day at the tavern and it was hardly mid-day. Looks like we need a few days to dry out Rammer and make our final plan for the final battle. This gave Carla the novel idea of seeking direct spiritual guidance from TMB in hopes of gleaning some final hints as to what was waiting beyond door number one. Orbital overlords are odd and likely insane entities that can be fickle and obscure in nature. With Bimble’s assistance our green girl did achieve some enlightenment. Enough at least to convince the group that the thing that was once known as the Ossithrax Pejorative was once, and may still be a black dragon. Not necessarily a minion of Nergal but definitely touched by the Death god’s essence. Well it was something, the gods are not interested in holding hands either. They demand shows off faith – get the shit done warrior priest, I demand courage! 

            

Three days later, once again traversing the bog of eternal stench. Boots full of muck and clouds of irritating insects. This was not going to be an easy expedition. First, it was a pair of Rocs on the hunt. Massive beasts with 20’ wingspans playing death from above with our hobos. These sorta encounters cause all sorts of challenges for our group – making them great. It took a bit of running around but they were eventually able to knock one down and convinced the other to flee before anything real cool happened (being dropped from 250’ or taken back to nest to serve as bird food would have been great..). They cleaned up and began to press on but then we moved onto the next thing. The second occurrence was triggered by all the running around and the impact of a colossal bird into the earth. The vibrations attracted a very out of place purple worm,  it popped up looking for an easy meal. The hobos took a bit more of a beating but their multitude really is a burden for a singular giant worm thing. 

            

Arriving back at Barrowmaze our gang got their focus on and went straight to the final ancient temple of Nergal to face whatever boss monsta awaited. The tomb of tombs seemed to be caught flat-footed and the run was without obstacle. 

 

Here we are. The precipice of doom. 

 

The antechamber of the Great Temple of Nergal. Massive steel double doors (each door almost 8 feet across) covered in bas relief depict Nergal with his arms outstretched and a large group of hooded followers walking toward him. Skulls and chaos swarm around him.

 

Carla and Frankie the golem could sense that a great ancient evil lies behind these great doors. Frankie’s hold on rationality was visibly diminishing by the moment. Charles’s eyes were rolling into the back of his head as Franz the sword’s will began to rise - it sensed an ancient and malevolent power.

Bunny pulled out the key. Our members of the spiritual persuasion called down for final resolve. Our one-legged wizard brought forth defensive magics while our sword types quaffed a host elixirs. This ain’t the Olympics we is all about performance enhancement. Boris the goofy gimp that he is took to the air- HARGH! Bunny chugged back a dose of invisibility juice and inserted the key and then presumably stepped aside. Sloth and Steve pushed open the ancient doors with ease. 

Beyond, was an antechamber with a corridor leading to the larger temple. The way was lined with hideous statues of the death god. The tanks pressed forward according to Ding-We’s master plan. A grim voice spoke from the darkness, “come forth little mice”. Just as the front line entered into Nergal’s temple another voice was heard, this time from behind. “It is them, the blasphemers crush them!” From the chamber, “I have no fear of mice madman. I bow to neither man or god”. Light stones we cast and shot into the darkness to reveal the lost glory of death.

 

An age ago, this was the Great Temple of Nergal. It was constructed from a large cave by his followers and is lined with a score of massive ten foot wide pillars to support the 50 foot ceiling. A huge broken statue of Nergal, the largest ever created in his honor, can be found at the back of the chamber. 

            The Beast was heard but not seen. Ossithrax was the master of his domain. Ding-We called forth a wall of ice to shield the softer hobos as the warriors searched for the adversary. First skeletons arose, then magics and finally a gout of acid. It was somewhere in the darkness attempting to lure our hobos deeper into the serpents tomb/ lair. This did not work and eventually Ossithrax did reveal itself freezing at least Boris (who was flying) with fear, leaving him helplessly floating like a fibre filled turd in a bowl. 

 

Ossithrax, now easily a thousand years old in unlife was arrogant and ignored the warnings of the Keeper. It became angry as our hobos huddled behind walls and did not display the courage to charge in to their doom. The beast, a lich-dragon, depleted of magics brought the battle to the hobos. Thinking that they were suitably near death that it wouldn’t take much to get to enjoy the taste of flesh. Humanoid flesh is the best. But fate and the Gods are fickle. The tables turned and Ossithrax lost advantage while our hobos turned on the meat grinders. The dragon now saw “that even death may die” and attempted a final gambit charging in to breach the icy barrier to kill the weaklings. It was too late, the injuries already grievous broken bits of bone littered the floor. The Ossithrax Pejorative met final death just as it prepared to consume Ding-We. Victory. None had fallen today but the list of fallen comrades to get to this point has been extensive. 

 

BarrowMaze had been defeated. 

 

 

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Matriarch of TMB (C8) 129406 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 172646 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 169577 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Champion (D7) 127414 xp <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 151673 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 305632 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

                                                

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 367423 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 199209 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Pilferer (T7) 71232 xp +5% <80001> CRT 1d16/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 143632 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 128417 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Siddha Girl (P6) 58398 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 63243 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 41226 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)  

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

 

RESERVES

All healed up and ready to go, for now.         

Elapsed Campaign Time

315 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Forty-One when we ask the questions:

With Barrowmaze defeated it is time to move on, what will the river have in store for us?

Who is coming and who is staying? For we will never come back this way again.

Tale of the Tape

They all survived.. I must have done something wrong.

KILLS

Rocs (2) 2400

Purple worm 3300

The Ossithrax Pejorative 6666

LOOT

Ruby pendant 500 gp

Diamond encrusted comb 1000 gp