Stop Your Grinning and Grab Your Linen! (Session 61)

 SESSION 61: Pack Your Bags! (20Dec17)

            Moving along from the elf-balls. After an evening’s rest and ambush by electrical griffin things. We decided to hunt down the elvish ruins, the perfect place to find ancient artifacts.  After much deliberation, the course of travel was selected. We pushed on through the jungle just adjacent to an estuary. Reaching a good crossing point, closer to the ocean we stopped to dig for clams. A commotion from the forest disturbed the process. A gaggle of large flightless bird things apparently on the run. In hot pursuit was The Hydra! Lucky catch it would seem.  Ding-We quickly put up a phantasmal T-Rex to stop and distract the 12-headed monstrosity. The hobos quickly gained advantage but the hydra retreated back into the forest with hobos pursuing. After a lame chase sequence, strangely similar to TLJ the beast was dispatched. The tug home was almost immediate. Split-second thinking brought Sasha along for the ride back into the, possible, future.

            Plop. 

    Back in Barrowmaze and the door to Uthak Amon Thar’s final tomb opened. Uthak stood in the darkness waiting. Perhaps for thousands of years, who knows. One thing was certain, he was one hungry vampire. Combat ensued. We were attacked from behind by his two brides. Uthak drank from Raul stealing his very life essence. Our horde was too much for Uthak in such a tight space with no tactical positions to fight from. He was surrounded and beaten back into his sarcophagus where final death was bestowed. Hanging from the wall was Uthak’s mystical spear. Finally! We had received reward for many days of hard hobo work.

            With his death, the sound portals opening could be heard, our escape route had returned. It was time to get back to Helix.

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 68334 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 65772 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 61303 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 50591 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Traveler (MD7) 61772 xp <80000> CRT 1d30/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 63449 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 55404 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 47728 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 24971 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 44904 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 77558 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 29828 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Woods(wo)man (R5) 22468 xp +10% <25000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 40 DAYS

Bunny the PETRIFIED Sharper (T7) 57817 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II 

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

131 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

11 days on the island, how time is moving back in reality- who knows!

Join us for session Sixty-two when we ask the questions:

How long have we been gone?

Can we fix Bunny?

Tale of the Tape

Raul drained of two levels (now 48% to 6^th)

KILLS   

Coppermane Prowlers (2) 

The Hydra 

Uthak Amon Thar

The Brides of Uthak (2) 

LOOT

Spear Predestined

Gold Death Mask

Truly, Nothing to See Here (Session 60)

 SESSION 60: Nothing to See Here… (14DEC17)

Did a little bit of exploring found a clearing with some weird elf balls. Weird structures in a weird pattern. In their infinite wisdom, Sloth was sent in to figure out what is inside an elf ball. He could not figure it out. Eventually, our most wise purveyors of holy inclination figured it out and were rewarded with beautiful crystal necklaces and inner peace. That was it, nothing more – move along.        

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 68334 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 65772 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 61303 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 50591 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Traveler (MD7) 61772 xp <80000> CRT 1d30/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 63449 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 55404 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 47728 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 24971 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 44904 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 77558 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 29828 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Woods(wo)man (R5) 22468 xp +10% <25000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 40 DAYS

Bunny the PETRIFIED Sharper (T7) 57817 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II 

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

131 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

8 days on the island, how time is moving back in reality- who knows!

Join us for session Sixty-one when we ask the questions:

Are we actually doing anything?

Tale of the Tape

Fart

KILLS   

Nope

LOOT

None.

Hey this Island isn't Actually Devoid of Loot (Session 59)

 SESSION 59: Tricks, Traps & Finally Some Treasure (17NOV17)

            Imps, nothing but trouble. Gambling addicts and conflict instigators. Interestingly our first interaction resulted in finding Sasha Plasha the Woods(wo)man joining us. She was a member of an expedition to the island, all but herself having come to an untimely end. Sasha had been utilizing her innate survival skills for months on this mad mad mad island. Her utility, masterful tracking and knowledge of the wilds, was quickly proven when she found us some treasure- finally!  Yes, we did need to chop up a bunch of trolls but all in a days work.

            We did some exploration found some neat places, were attacked by some irritating island denizens and worked our way down from a waterfall to a field of bubbling muck. There we picked some peppery plants, and that is about it. No hydras were harmed during the filming of this session. Maybe next session. Probably not since I typed up that recap first. 

             

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 67267 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 64705 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 60236 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 49884 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Traveler (MD7) 60705 xp <80000> CRT 1d30/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 62382 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S6) 49337 xp +10% <50000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 46661 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 24437 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 44371 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 77025 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 29295 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Woods(wo)man (R5) 22468 xp +10% <25000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 40 DAYS

Bunny the PETRIFIED Sharper (T7) 57817 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II 

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

131 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Sixty when we ask the questions:

Are we going to the ruins?

Are we just looking to kill us a hydra?

Where are these things anyways and why must we find them?

Tale of the Tape

We recruited a feral ranger!

KILLS   

Crystal Statues (6) 

Trolls (6) 

Ants of Giant Size (8) 

LOOT

9000 cp

6000 gp

Jewelry – necklace 200 gp, earing 10 gp, circlet 500 gp

Potion of Healing

Philter of Love

Exploring Swordfish (Session 58)

 SESSION 58: Ya Gotta Rinse that Gore Right Outta Yer Hair (30OCT17)

            We did not revel in our victory. Instead, a bunch of dinosaur teeth were pulled and a quick exit stage left was conducted. The day was slipping away and we did not want to be around if the salamanders’ buddies came a lookin. Pressing on, the party ended up far closer to the volcano than expected while looking for a reasonable camp site. This led to the discovery of some sort of Feugonaut base burrowed into the rock. Some prolonged observation resulted in the conclusion that this might garner unwanted attention from the efreet Svarku. Camp was made elsewhere. The jungle was strangely quiet, perhaps not all things knew that the tyrant lizard had fallen, or the jungle was wary of those that brought it down.

            The following morning our hobos swung north to investigate the Bone Tree. It was an odd encounter with something. A tree that controlled its vines and used an ogre skeleton as a dancing marionette. This ‘entity’ was screwy, looking for a spool of red thread and the bottled laugh of a newborn siren. Sure, it offered reward for said items, so we are looking- just in case. Pay has been very, very low on this primordial island.

            Pressing on through the day we discovered the Alabaster Stair. Terraces of white stone step down the volcano’s lower slopes toward the sea. Many of the white stairs contain steaming pools of bright-blue water. Some of the pools have been completely filled by the white stone, and much of the area around the steps is covered in dendritic buildup of the same sparkling white rock. No vegetation grows in this area, and the tree line stops immediately at the white ground. Ding-We came up with a sly plan to get some rest and relaxation in. Turned on the magic jug to sufficiently cool a pool. Now everyone is chillin’ in the hot tub. A much-needed cleaning and treatment for them aching bodies. We don’t know what tomorrow holds but for now its micro-vacation time.         

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 66617 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 64055 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 59586 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 49234 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Traveler (MD7) 60055 xp <80000> CRT 1d30/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 61732 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S6) 48687 xp +10% <50000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 46011 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 23787 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 43721 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 76375 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 28685 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

131 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session fifty-nine when we ask the questions:

Where do we go now?

Been a smooth day, how long will that last?

Tale of the Tape

Party members awarded 650 xp for good playing

KILLS   

Nope

LOOT

Wee Ruby (50 gp)

Ogre Time on the Swordfish Island (Session 57)

 SESSION 57: The Biggest Game? (18OCT17)

            After some deliberation on we would cut our way through the steaming jungle, the expedition began. A few hours of bug infested and humid jungle later we came upon the home of Bavmorda the Night-Axe ogre witch and her four sons. They had been waiting for us. It had been ‘foreseen’. She shared a field-guide with the party, the only legacy of a lost expedition, and information on the settlement to the North. Glavrok village the home to her people, the Night Axe. After chatting over tea and fruit our horde pressed on. Slightly off target they came upon the western outpost rather than the village proper. Now heading east along the ogre’s path they finally reached Glavrok, to be greeted by an intimidating war band of 10 plus foot ogres. The chief of Glavrok village, Glavrok was skeptical but did allow our intrepid explorers safe haven, as long as they did not go near the central mound. A day of rest later the hunt began. 

            It began with the return of the clouds of small biting insects, then giant spider attack and culminating in discovering a Feugonaut feeding pit. As luck would have it, on this day the pit attracted some colossal game. Our prime target burst from the jungle. The mighty tyrannosaurus. Helped by forest cover and some good planning that included illusionary magics the beast was distracted and removed from the board before it could destroy anyone, sad sad DM. And that was how the West was won. 

 ROLECALL

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 65743 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 63181 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 58712 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 48360 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Traveler (MD7) 59181 xp <80000> CRT 1d30/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 60858 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S6) 47813 xp +10% <50000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 45137 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 23350 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 43284 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 75938 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 28208 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

131 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)????

Join us for session fifty-eight when we ask the questions:

Now where is that hydra so we can get back to Barrowmaze?

Are we going to do anything about this efreet guy?

Do we settle in and explore?

Tale of the Tape

All quiet on the western front

KILLS   

Giant tarantulas (5)

The Tyrannosaurus Rex 

Salamanders (4) tyrant food 

LOOT

Nothing. Ha ha!

What? Now We is on Hot Springs Island! (Session 56)

 SESSION 56: Welcome to the Dreadful Island (2OCT17)

            We had just about enough time to dust off a bit before the island lashed out at our troupe. Streaming from the jungle came a host of centipede-like insects hungry for hobo. There was some running and then there was some slaying. Moving further up the beach a freshwater spring was discovered and then we were harangued by a troop of lemurs. Even further along the beach, it was covered in whale carcasses ripe with carrion vermin. Not wanting to have another predicament involving centipedes we went back to the spring and nestled into the overlooking cliff to settle in (we had shown those vile lemurs who was boss so no more shit showers). 

    It went ok, until the jungle spilled out even more flesh hungry insects. Once our group got  through the second rotten incursion by insects it was decided that waiting for the jungle to kill our hobos was lame. Upon some recollection, we remembered seeing something that could have indicated a 'man-made' settlement of relic thereof during the descent to this place. 

            They stepped into the jungle.             

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 65468 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 62906 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 58437 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 48085 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Traveler (MD7) 58906 xp <80000> CRT 1d30/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 60583 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S6) 47538 xp +10% <50000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 44862 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 23213 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 43147 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 75801 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 28071 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 40 DAYS

Bunny the PETRIFIED Sharper (T7) 57817 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II 

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

131 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) Who knows how time moves here!?!

Join us for session fifty-seven when we ask the questions:

Are we going to do anything or are we moving in?

Tale of the Tape

Nothing to report

KILLS   

Centipede swarm (4) 

Man-Sized Centipedes (10) 

Goliath Centipede 

Carrion Flies (2) 

Vyderac Seekers (15) 

Vyderak Swarmers (24) 

Vyderak Feeders (4) 

LOOT

None