Crawling Carrion Mayhem (Session 213)

SESSION 213: Bone Breakers in the Cavern of the Carrion Crawlers

They find a hotbed of carrion crawlers and hijinks ensue.

Day 132 Continued (12.20/ 0305): Ding-We felt he could close the sinkhole with a catastrophic explosion and so once all the lurking and looting was done the rest of the troupe backed out as the wizard blasted the sinkhole with a fireball in hopes of achieving his elaborate story outcome. Maybe it worked maybe it did not, nobody checked to figure it out. They moved back to the east to the source of the flowing water. It was an underground stream that cut through the corner of the most north-eastern cavern. The channel flowed north down a tunnel that was of sufficient size to traverse.  After some thought it was concluded that the stream could lead to the so far undiscovered ‘bugs’. So they entered the tube. It went for a hundred or so feet before arcing to the west and entering a large cavern that was bisected by the channel as it turned and flowed off into the darkness to the north. Shining some light on the situation, piles of mixed bones could be seen littering the chamber predominantly along the wider east side of the waterway. 

They pushed forward and came to another sinkhole, bones crushing underfoot. Antennae and other inhuman sensory organs noted the presence of the hobos. Reaching the sinkhole was enough to trigger a reaction. Two 9’ tentacled centipede-like things launched from within the sinkhole while two more came out of the darkness to the north. They had found the Cavern of the Carrion Crawlers!

This place was a boneyard. Stepping out of the stream things got crunchy. There was no reasonable way to avoid the heaps of the bones of men and other things. The occupants were not selective because they were carrion crawlers. The hobos did not get far before attracting the attention of a trio of the large tentacled insects. Two crawled out of a sinkhole along the east way while the third came racing in from a further extent of the cavern. Mindlessly they came upon the front line – stinging tentacles aplenty. Their paralyzing appendages could not find a seam on the defenses of our tanks. The three were quickly chopped up and the party pushed onward. Reaching the northern limit of the large cavern another sinkhole was discovered. There was some discussion as to how one would close these obvious points of ingress. This process was interrupted when someone wondered if long lost treasures could be found in this chamber. The answer was yes and it would take some time to search. This would lead to a much hilarity as the crawlers just kept on coming from all over and our obsessive treasure seekers. 

There must have been some sort primal need to protect this cavern, probably because it was the crawler sexy time fun chamber but that is only known by me. The hobos rummaged for loot and giant insects kept showing up. What made it even more fun was five waves good for about eighteen more of the damned things. Even though it was very difficult to paralyze our expert murderhobos we had substantive blows a plenty that resulted in an inordinate number of broken weapon arms. Eight to be precise. It was hilarious. Even though the paralysation was largely ineffective they were losing combatants nonetheless. However all good things must come to an end and the scallywags were able to get to the finish line. They were exhausted and gimpy. It was time to get out of this buggy cavern before anymore crawlers rise up from deeper below. 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 270110 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 244226 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 255585 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 200035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 215368 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 335258 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Injury: -Crushed -8” H             

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 429933 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 223717 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 159994 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 159369 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 97971 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 55787 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 53918 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 38738 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  72796 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

            Injury: -5’mv from brutal arm shatter

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 97000 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Boris & Camillus rehab (correction of structural injuries) for 14 days

            Elapsed: 2 days

Chung Li needs 12 weeks and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 2 days

Elapsed Campaign Time

580 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Fourteen when we ask the questions:

Are our troopers calcium deficient? 

Tale of the Tape

Eight broken arms!!

Thirteen smashed out teeth: Sloth lost 7, Steve lost 6 but they are slowly and unpleasantly growing back

Exploration

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Carrion Crawlers (21) 

LOOT

7 pp

167 gp

81 ep

Gems (5): 100,100,50,100,50 = 400 gp

Pearl earring 50 gp

Potions: Flying, Green Dragon Control

+1 Shield

+1 Leather Armour 

Murder Below the Giant Steading (Session 212)

 SESSION 212: Back in the Dungeon of the Hill Giant Chief 

Further exploration of the dungeon and natural caverns underneath the Steading of the Hill Giant Chief.

Day 132 Continued (12.20/ 0305): As Steve and Sloth pack the portable hole with giant lizard steaks the rest of the gang grab a breath before heading south towards the unexplored Orc rebellion zone. They moved south down to the wide corridor and then east to the enclave of the ork rebellion. The pig-men had not repaired the barrier between the dungeon and the caverns prior to their exodus. They quickly came across a narrow side passage and checked it out. About 50’ in they came to what appeared to be another ork barricade cutting off another side passage. The hobos were feeling lazy and pressed on. Another 50 or so feet along the finished dungeon gave way to a natural cavern network. As they entered the cavern it quickly became rather stenchy. Dead giveaway, the troglodytes were nearby. Very near as the stink quickly swelled. Carla called out to them, “You may leave in peace. The giants are dead and the orks are gone. Go West and leave our lands without violence”. They reptilian-stink-men were tired of being trapped in this cavern and being predated on by lizards, bugs and orc. The males stepped into the light and presented a line between the hobos and their females and young. As the non-combatants filed by the warriors fell in and the lot of them left the caverns in their way back to freedom. We didn’t spend too much time in this area as trog stink just don’t come out easy. 

Moving north through the cavern system flowing water was heard but they hooked off to the NW instead. This led to a cavern that was the nesting place of a pair of minotaur lizards. Huge horns adorned the heads of these 40’ long monstrosities. They did not take well to visitors. There was also a brood that immediately took evasive maneuvers and scuttled down a sinkhole to a presumed deeper level. The two adults leapt to violent action slamming into Steve and Sloth. Ka-Boom. Gouged, gored and gobbled. The mob took a beating but even colossal horny lizards are at a disadvantage when faced with a horde of hardened murderhobos. Once more the outcome favoured our bold band. Onto the investigative discovery! The gizzards of the lizards were packed full of gems, lots of gems along with some loose coin and jewelry floating around the nest. The sinkhole now became a source of discussion, what the heck might be down there? They had been warned of bugs but none seen so far. What will we do next?

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 270110 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 244226 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 255585 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 200035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 215368 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 335258 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Injury: -Crushed -8” H             

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 429933 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 223717 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 159994 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 159369 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 97971 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 55787 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 53918 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 38738 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  72796 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

            Injury: -5’mv from brutal arm shatter

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 97000 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Boris & Camillus rehab (correction of structural injuries) for 14 days

            Elapsed: 2 days

Chung Li needs 12 weeks and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 2 days

Elapsed Campaign Time

580 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Thirteen when we ask the questions:

Where are the bugs?

Do we want to know?

Where does that sinkhole go?

Do we want to know this?

Tale of the Tape

Exploration

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Giant Subterranean Lizards (2) 

Giant Minotaur Lizards (2) 

LOOT

8000 sp

3000 ep

Gems (62) = 9200 gp

Jewelry (3) 1400, 900, 1500 = 3,800

We Demand Restitution: Do the Murder Pay the Tax (Session 211)

 SESSION 211: Did the Murder got the Pay and then Paid the Tax

After utilizing the right tool (Boris) the gang gets loaded down with loot forcing them to return to base before further exploration. The trip back narrowly dodges a fumble right out of the gate.

Day 128 Continued (12.20/ 0305): As Ding-We contemplated how to get the most utility out of the metal detection wand, Bunny started working the gem of true seeing while the others began to earnestly inspect the walls of the large ‘empty’ chamber before the manticore lair. The bugger about for a while until frustration began to set into Ding-We. “There is treasure here somewhere why can’t we find it…”, his complaint trailed off as another thought bubbled up. He cursed and left the chamber. Back up the stairs and returning to the chieftain’s chamber where there was a bunch of dwarves, our new elf, the engineer and ‘man-ape’. Everyone knows that Dwarves and Elves have rather discerning eyes and not utilizing this talent was mud-brained. Ding-We told Chung and Boris the situation and they went back into the dungeon. A few moments after getting down the steps Boris noticed a sly architectural feature in a corner. “Looks like you dorks got distracted by the portcullis, just can’t see the tree through the forest – Ha”. Ding-We’s grumble was drowned out by Chung Li’s and Boris’s laughter as they continued to define the secret door. 

Opening the hidden door reveled a short corridor that led into a chamber with an abundance of loot. “Pay dirt!” First things first Bunny noticed that the corridor was home to a pit trap and had to disable it prior to investigating the room. Doing that she moved in to examine the joint. An open chest oozing gold along with a couple of closed coffers along with some broken boxes and a smashed barrel in one corner and…. The distinct presence of yellow mold growing up the wall in the other corner. Raul remined all that fire was the only cure. Steve, with his environmental suit on produced a torch to burn it. Not worrying about spores he approached and touched his torch to the mold. It did not burn. Steve tried harder and then noticed that both hand and torch had passed through the yellow mold to no effect. “Something ain’t right I can’t touch it to burn it”. From the corridor behind smarter hobos observed a bit more closely, interrupting allot a absent minded finger nail picking. Saff was on deck with this, “It not real you dum-dum, make believe”.  Steve processed this for a moment and then figured it out, remembering Saff’s fondness for throwing illusions around. He put the torch down and groped beyond the illusion. He pulled out a spear, two long swords in elaborate scabbards and a bundle of fine looking arrows. Ding-We directed him to put them in the centre of the room and just for fun check out the broken barrel in the other corner. It too was imaginary, hiding a small water tight barrel. Steve excitedly shook it, something hard was inside. After opening it he found not only an obsidian box but a map or perhaps a plan of another place. Once he passed Ding-We the document to review he put the box with weapons and gave Bunny and Bimbles room to do their assessments of the contents of the chamber. Bimbles gave the trap free status and Bunny began opening things. At the same time Raul came in to investigate the weapons. He quickly noted that all of the weapons carried runic inscriptions – “We got the good stuff boys”. The swords appeared to be the most complex. The first felt good in his hand it was, as a matter of fact, happy in his hand. The sword was Lil’ Smoker a flaming sword of enough forgotten renown to have rudimentary intelligence that it could pass basic information empathically. The sword was happy to pass along its capabilities an how to access them. The second sword was an altogether different bucket of fish. This blade was Malignant and hateful, with the ability to speak horrible things and it gave Raul a significant electrical shock that caused his hand to seize up.  Unable to immediately drop ‘Burner’ the sword once more zapped him in hopes of killing this loser who had the audacity to handle it. Before a third and, likely, final fatal shock Raul was able to get Burner back into its scabbard and drop the wretched thing as it continued to spew profanities. 

The portable hole was already open so they wrapped Burner in a blanket and tossed the evil thing in for latter resolution. The chests were packed with loot – gold, platinum, gems and jewelry. All gave praise to the god of level appropriate treasure allocation – Unka Gary! 

Inside the obsidian box was a strange cable that radiated magic and a folded scroll that was clearly made of dried flesh. Ding-We ignored that fact as he snatched it from Steve. To his irritation he could not read the language and handed it off to Raul. It was written in the hill giant tongue and was directions on how to be transported to another place by laying out the cable in a figure ‘8’ patten and then stepping into the openings. Lacking the guts to leap into the unknown all the stuff was packed away. The loot holding contraptions were now getting real close to capacity. It was decided that a return to base was in order to lighten the load and ensure the wellbeing of the extra dwarves and the humans.

Back upstairs, they decided go exit via the back door.

They were going just to walk away but Ding-We, as he is very apt to do, came up with another plan. They would go around and check out the stone stronghold and then go around and check out the giant geese. Saffron flew off to investigate the structure it continued to be all quiet. Returning with the info the moved around the hill giant longhouse. Returning to the front they noticed that the giant corpse pile had been buggered with. Atop the rearranged pile sat the heads of the chief and his wife. The gang was perplexed for a moment, until a voice came from atop the giant’s watchtower. 

Strong and without fear, “Well wouldya look at that Harold more minions of the vile giants and these ones are real fresh”. From behind the corpse pile another voice, “Indeed Mildred, those that serve the giants must be eradicated”. “Nope you got the wrong bunch we killed them, giants are bad m’kay”. Ding-We exclaimed while riskily signalling Saffron to use her ability to see invisible things. As we all know using magic when in parlay is a very hazardous endeavour, perhaps Saff’s innate magicks are very subtle and beign really small and currently invisible helped. She did not care for what she saw not one bit. Four green dragons were perched upon the roof with another partially astride and behind the corpse pile. Zipping to Ding-We’s ear – “dragons dragons dragons five big green lizards!”. Ding-We prudently worked to maintain parlay. Mildred and Harold seemed to be the only two speaking, they must be the leaders with the rest awaiting orders. Now we all know that MurderHobos Incorporated™ are some tough mothers but Ding-We knew that it would be impossible to get through this without hobo and company corpses all over the place. Another tactical retreat was likely needed. “Maybe you are not thralls or co-conspirators with those wretched giants and maybe you did indeed slaughter them all. If that is so you have robbed us of our righteous labour seeking reparation for the murderous actions of the giants.” Harold was laying something down that our gang did not quite understand. Mildred cleared it up, “Since you killed the giants you are now responsible for our reparations… to the tune of 30,000 coins”. A lot of pukey jumped up many the hobo throat with this demand. After a great big yucky swallow the hobos agreed. Sacks were cautiously emptied so as not to show the remaining mountainous amount of coin, gems and jewelry still inside. “Now begone!” The team b-lined for the giant goose pen quickly glancing back to see the treasure disappear, presumably down the throat of an invisible dragon. 

Getting to the pen there were eleven giant geese, ranging between 4 – 5’ in height. The animals seemed to be settling down in anticipation of the evening. So the upcoming plan to collect them and also bring them back to base was not too much of a gong show. Afterwards out came the folding boat and they started rowing upstream back to the Gormandia Ferry. The trip was sadly eventless. They all settled into a couple days of rest before returning to the giant stronghold.  

During the camp time Carla provided potent divine healing to repair the crushed spinal columns suffered by Boris and Camillus. Like turtles from their shells there necks extended back to natural length from there torsos. It would take a couple of weeks of rehab prior to once more hoboing. Also during this time Ding-We provided Chung Li with an empty spellbook that he could make his own, it would take three months to complete. I guess he may technically end up being our most long lived Elven adventurer. On the morning of the third day the gang once more opened up the folding boat and sailed back to the giant longhouse.

Returning to the stronghold they discovered and followed the dragons wake of destruction into the structure. Fortunately they terrible beasts were gone. The group returned to the pantry stairwell and down to the marshalling area. It seems that the mountain of corpses had attracted things that move in the dark. Unseen and moving across the ceiling of the chamber were six large and ravenous subterranean lizards. Battle followed quickly when the creatures dropped from above thinking they would get some really fresh meat. Steve led the clarification, it was actually our murderhobos whom would get a whole lot of fresh meat. Poor dumb lizards.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 270110 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 244226 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 255585 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 200035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 215368 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 335258 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Injury: -Crushed -8” H             

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 429933 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 223717 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 159994 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 159369 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 97971 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 55787 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 53918 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 38738 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  72796 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

            Injury: -5’mv from brutal arm shatter

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 97000 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Boris & Camillus rehab (correction of structural injuries) for 14 days: 12 remaining.

Chung Li needs 12 weeks and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

Elapsed Campaign Time

576 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Twelve when we ask the questions:

Was there really five green dragons?

What is left deep in the dungeon?

Will the magic chain of transport be utilized?

Is there actually something ‘bigger’ going on or are we just making shit up?

Do we want to activate something bigger?

Tale of the Tape

The six dwarves and twelve giant geese were successfully delivered to base camp.

Shaken down once more, paid off Mildred and Harold to the tune of 30,000 gp

Exploration

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Subterranean lizards (6) 3420

LOOT

4,139 pp

23,840 gp

Gems (62) 18,600 gp

Jewelry (17 x 500 gp) 8,500 gp

Heavy gold necklace with Fire Opal 2,000 gp

Arrows +2 (11)

Spear +2

Lil’ Smoker +1 Flaming sword (Neut; 6 Int – empathic) likes to burn flyers and plants and other stuff

Burner +1 Flaming sword (Chaotic; 12 INT – Speech) – Hates Raul for touching it and wants to incinerate Saffron

Below the Steading of the Giants (Session 209)

 SESSION 209: Who’s Basement is This?

Exploration comes to an abrupt halt as wave after wave of dungeon dweller tell our hobos to get bent.

Day 127 Never Ends (12.20/ 0305): Down the nearest corridor. After passing a side branch it led to a cistern. At the bottom was a finely crafted outlet presumably a body of water somewhere beyond the long haus. Back tracking to the side branch two storage rooms were found at the end of the corridor. The second room was locked and for good reason. Beyond was the wine cellar full of barrels and casks. They returned to the marshalling area. All was quiet. Bunny crept forward to investigate the door to the south. It was a heavy spiked metal door. She pulled out her gem of seeing to look through it. It was a chamber packed full of bugbears with many of them setup around the door. Although they appear to be lanky and awkward these 7’ tall beastmen are masters of subterfuge and with keen senses – sly, watchful and patient. All strategies employed as our hobos made their way about the dungeon. Even invisible signs can be observed such as a curling plume of smoke wrapping around an unseen silhouette, or the rummaging of a bag or the lingering scent of battle one must simply utilize senses beyond sight. The bugbear on watch sensed something and as Bunny crouched before the door using the gem they activated their trap. The spikes on the door were actually spear heads that could be extended into something in front of the door. Bunny caught three about her body. Cursing she ran to warn the gang. She could hear cruel laughing and then a shrill whistle. “There onto us!” Then the war started. 

Bugbears rolled in. From the southern passage they pushed along a heavy wooden table to use as cover. From behind the line came flasks of oil and torches. There was no avoiding the oil as the volley covered and slashed our about to be burning gang. Bimbles yoinked out the everfull water jug and shot a geyser overhead. He may not have put out the fires any faster but he did deter the continuance of the tactic. The bugbears were a little pissed by this but then giants started showing up. A pair of hill giants joined with the bulk of the bugbears and a trio of stone giants began hurling boulders from somewhere deep down the corridor to the north. Things were beginning to look hairy. As the tanks and secondary spell casters attempted to hold back the bugbears and hill giants an attempt at negotiating with the stone giants. 

The giants were in a jovial mood and more than happy to talk as they continued to hurl boulders. This was not what Carla was hoping for. The giants were gonna do what they do until they had a tangible reason not to. This frustration lead to some menacing statements but the nuance was lost in part due to the distance between parties and the general noise of giant activity, not to mention the large battle at the other end of the chamber. Finally the giants were offered gold. Giants really like gold. 5,000 golden sheckles were offered to each. The giants were happy to accept the payment along with Carla’s tale regarding the positive outcome with the two better minder stone giants upstairs. There was however a catch, the giants were going to keep hurling boulders until they saw the money – exactly not what the hobos wanted. Once more thinly veiled threats came out but had little tangible effect beyond a bit of a razzing – “Ha ha little people we play until you pay!”. Frustrated but left without much choice Raul and Bunny assisted Carla in producing three mountainous piles of gold. This act slowed the giants down as the glint of gold caught their eyes and they didn’t want to inadvertently lose any with an errant rock. They slowly approached the siren’s call of the most adored of precious metals. 

Finally, with the back pressure eased the rest of the gang were able to press into the other forces fully and in short order able to break the bugbear lines and topple the hill giants.

With the battle over and the now exiting stone giants paid off it was a time to look around. 

There was a heavy steel door along the east wall that led to a small jail. Stepping over the dead buggy-jailers there was five cells four of which contained living prisoners. The first was home to a chained up madman whom thought he was an ape. In the second was a not insane man going by the handle – Joe-Bob. JB as we now call him is an engineer, how fortuitous, and immediately offered his services if he got out of this hell hole alive. The third cell contained a shackled and beaten elf he two offered his services for rescue after introducing himself as Chung-Li. We knew it was likely that he would not live his term (1 yr.) with Murderhobos incorporated as we have a well-chronicled zero survival rating for the stupid pointy ears. Boris and Raul quickly began setting the odds. The next cell contained four skeletons each wearing brass rings set with an apparent gem. “Too easy” exclaimed Bunny “Welcome to trap-ville”. Bimbles obliged and cast detect traps “Yup, it is trapped”. “And those gems is no better than coloured glass” pointed out Boris, it had not taken long to set the odds on Chung-Li’s life expectancy. The fifth and final cell held five beaten up orcs. One stepped forward and began snorting out something that Ding-We pretended to understand. Carla came forth and entered into a dialogue with the lead pigman. He was OshKosh Bu’Gosh and he was one of the leaders of the Rebellion. It seems that his whole clan had been abducted from the Black Mountains and then enslaved by the vile hill giants whom employed the bugbears to torture then something fierce. OshKosh said that he and his clan would assist in any way they could if our hobos could facilitate their escape. Carla agreed and the orcs were released. OshKosh further explained what was going on down here and where the rest of his people were held and where other members of the rebellion were stowed away. Osh was directed to collect his people in the conveniently named ‘marshalling area’ while they explored further. Chung-Li offered to stay in the jail and protect the other prisoners while the party did the exploration. 

The gang moved into the bugbear barrack complex. Not much of interest to us, a handful of gems and some coin. Heading south they intersected a long corridor. To the east was a boulder barricade that appeared to be the way to the orc rebellion enclave. To the south were a trio of heavy barred doors that ended up containing more orcish slaves, they were released and we moved west down the increasingly warm corridor. Coming to a side passage that was obviously the source of the heat the hobos entered like moths to a flame. It was a strange multi-chambered room. 

It was an armory and smithy but we only figured out the first part so far. Great stacks of giant arms and armor balanced and propped up all over making movement worse than a drunken game of Operation. Bunny took another quaff of invisibility portion and crawled up the wall and along the increasingly hot ceiling to the next chamber. This was the smithy hot and smoky and should have been far better illuminated rather than just a sickly red glow. I suspect, and Bunny will in a moment, that it was the two fire giants nearly standing inside the forge that undermined the lighting. These two dudes were not only on guard but fully ready for battle. To make things even more challenging the two sadistic bastards also wore a bandolier of dwarves that groaned like beings well beaten into submission. “We see you little bug!”. Bunny made a hasty retreat back around the corner barley dodging a huge sword thrust to alert the rest of the hobos – “more giants big red ones that look like huge dwarves”. “Fire giants, be careful those buggers are martial experts”, barked out Boris. The mob got into formation and pressed into the smithy making an awful mess and racket working through the armory. He giants held their position in front of the forge laughing, and beating their bandoliers for a rhythmic progression of groans, at the ineptitude of the little things. They first hurled some boulders and then as the tanks attempted to close in they stormed forward smashing their shields into Steve and Sloth in hopes of knocking them across the room. S&S were able to hold their ground and duck at just the right moment when each giant followed up with an arcing swing of the sword. Getting a clear look at the giants it was obvious that they would need to use extra caution so as not to accidentally skewer a bandolier dwarf. This made things more challenging. The battle was fierce and what little magics still available to our casters kept coming up as ineffective. This was going to be a toe to toe affair. The battle was impressive luck not favouring either side. It became a matter of attrition and the hobos were able to cycle and replenish their frontline combatants. Camillus took a wicked bashing that seriously compacted her spine but that was the worst of the damage taken before the hobos were able to bring the fire giants down and only one dwarf died- amazing! We will find out if the dwarves find that stat to be as excellent next time..

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 270110 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 244226 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 255585 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 200035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 215368 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 335258 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Injury: -Crushed -8” H             

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 429933 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 223717 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 153935 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 159994 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 159369 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 97971 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 101166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 116826 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 55787 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 53918 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 21514 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 43262 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 38738 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  72796 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

            Injury: -1 STR from brutal arm shatter

            Injury: -5’mv from brutal arm shatter

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  18256<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Chung-Lee the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 97000 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Elapsed Campaign Time

575 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Ten when we ask the questions:

Is that it for giants?

What are we going to do about the copious amount of Orcs floating around?

How long will we keep this elf alive?

Will the seven dwarves overcome now only being six?

Tale of the Tape

Chung-Lee the Elf has signed on after being rescued

Joe Bob the engineer offers his services in exchange for his rescue from imminent consumption.

15,000 gold pieces lost to stone giant bribery.

Exploration

Location hex: 12.20

KILLS

Bugbears (44) 

Hill Giants (2) 

Stone Giants (3) – bought off.

Fire Giants (2) 

LOOT

10000 gp

Gems (31) 10 gp each = 310 gp