SESSION 45a-e Side Quest (??June17)
A few days ago, four to be precise... Bunny, Saff and Brule decided to see what the treasure map had to offer since the other idiots were off risking further mental damage in the tomb of tombs. It was a brigand treasure, of course, and it appeared that banditry pays well. After dropping the swag off at the barracks they went to the inn to recruit more meatshields. Lots of stink eye floating around but they did hire four men-at-arms to guard Ding-We and the ever-expanding pile of wealth. Othar came by with some good cheer and a leg. Our trio then departed for Torvik’s village to return his worldly possessions and inform his family of his demise. First things first we had to put some obstacles in the way.
First it was an ancient cemetery on a hill that was home to the Howler. A miserable creature that subsisted on enchanted items. There were shenanigans, murder, traps and treasure.
Second, the troupe came upon a giant monolith with a strangely open door. It was a puzzle tomb that created more consternation than expected. It took a while but they again reached the loot and escaped. Unfortunately, where they came out was not where they went in. Luckily Saffron was able to break through the tree canopy and readjust bearing.
Third, very early the next morning they were awoken by the screams of some beast. Searching lead, them to a lake an inky black sheet of glass. An ancient sacrificial alter that jutted from the waters edge. “Hey let’s smash it”, said no genius ever. Fortunately our paltry little band had aerial reconnaissance. Saffron saw the colossal dorsal fin break the surface heading straight for the altar. The other two leapt back into the forest just as a monstrous shark with strangely humanoid-like features broke the surface partially landing on its sacred altar. A giant black eye showing far more intelligence than just beast scanned the shore and then it slid back into the inky waters. “Hey let’s get the hell out of here”, said the NPC as they tend to want to live. Retreating into the forest they shortly came across the freshly dead carcass of a giant beaver with a huge chunk of flesh missing form it, probably the source of the screams the previous night. “Hey meat is back on the menu”, said those whom never thought about food safety.
Fourth, a friend was found. Saffron discovered a grove in which the minotaur Akercocke (previously rescued from slavery) knelt before a mystical horse like creature under the branches of an ancient oak. He was not about to give details, but we suspect it was a ‘spiritual’ thing. He was happy to again meet his liberators, Saffron in particular even with her peculiar nature.
“It would seem that our destinies are intertwined".
Fifth, the landscape changed from forest lowlands to rolling hills with the periodic rocky outcropping -they were getting closer. But first they were so very nearly ambushed by a very young green dragon. More bravado than brains it had and also Saff’s eye in the sky again providing timely info. The beast charged from it’s nest at breakneck speed impaling upon Brule’s polearm and dying in a fart of chlorine gas.
Sixth, as they really neared the elven village they were ambushed by a gaggle of axe beaks that proved to be very dangerous creatures. Narrowly avoiding becoming bird food thanks to some pixie magic.
Finally, they made it to the village and were received far more warmly than one would expect those that are bearing grim news would be. The village decided to celebrate the life of Torvik and his brave friends that returned his trappings. It was a real great night…
All good things must pass. The party ended they went to sleep only to be startled awake by the blacksmith’s assistant coming to their door to point out that the village was under attack by gross and evil giant spiders. The Team’s me friend the blacksmith was taken by the ginormous spiders. A pursuit and rescue was in order. With the coming of dawn’s early light they departed. Spider sign presented a fairly easy trail to follow. This led to some shenanigans at a druid’s hut and eventually led to a hillside gnome fortress that appeared to be now under the control of arachnids. They found a chimney to shimmy down and began to learn that something had gone wrong. The gnomes were either dead or had fled and it had something to do with spiders…
Further exploration revealed that the gnomes were attempting to merge their natural tinkering skill with the power of spider silk. Not a bad idea until your meddling to make bigger spiders to make more silk goes wrong, your business partners are dicks (purportedly a strange race of deep subterranean dark skinned elves), and your magics bring forth a spider demon.
After some sneaking, fighting and trap avoidance later our group found the missing blacksmith being held captive by an entity. It was Fosc Anasi a spider demon attempting to possess the blacksmith to gain mortal form. This seemed to trigger all sorts of junk. The entity fled to the surface to kill everybody, giant spiders attacked, and the dark elves were on their way to loot and pillage. We grabbed the smith, she clarified the situation and then we ran.
The whole fortress ran on steam power and the party had found a boiler room previously. In another rare moment of clarity, it was realized that over pressurizing the system would likely have a catastrophic effect on any pursuing them. They didn’t know how right they were. The fortress had now become a time bomb.
They ran, fast, and this was a very good idea. Escaping the fortress, they came face to face with Fosc Anansi’s demonic form, a spider of truly kaiju like proportion. 30’ legs struck like lances and it vomited forth gouts of toxic spew. Brule and Ack like heroes ran leapt headlong into the demon, while Saff, Bunny and the smith attacked from distance. Around this time a great rumbling came from below. The hillside slumped in as the internal fortress was obliterated. This did not warrant a time-out, the battle continued to rage. The fate seem to favour heroics Fosc Anasi was banished from our plane of existence and the horror of spiders passed. The group then travelled back to the village to recuperated before returning to Helix and the undeath of barrowmaze.
So yup, hanging in Elf-Town just doesn’t do it even for the smallest of murderhobo platoons. Off to the tavern to talk to the first strange old elf they can find. They wanted magic beans but instead traded a bag of gold for a magic key to the Temple of Greed!
They also got a map, that made the journey easier. Midday some poop and strange prints were found. They walked on. As dusk arrived Saff spotted a ruined tower that had an active camp. Closer observation revealed it was gnolls whom were about to roast a Halfling. Rescue they did and recruited Lando Hill-Figgens previously of the Speedy Delivery Agency. Searching revealed a trap door leading to the gnoll boss – Lukrats. After the murdering came the searching that produced a secret door leading even deeper. A tunnel led to two natural caverns, the home of Golundru the Stone Demon. Fighting smashing and some running. Again our heroes were victorious. Returning to the surface they made the gnoll camp theirs, hyena was on the menu. Night passed and they prepared to make the final push to the temple.
Into the Temple of Greed.
Things, as they often do, started out well. A pleasant evening having a hyena barbeque at commandeered gnoll camp. A wonderfully non-descript day followed for the final leg of the journey to the Temple of Greed. They were waylaid by a gaggle of tigrillas on of which Ack skinned to make an impressive cape.
Arriving at the temple, they used the magic key to gain entrance. Shortly thereafter they found themselves locked inside. Solve the temple or die it would seem. The joint was ripe with riddles that quickly wore on our hobos’ good cheer. There was however no turning back. Slowly, very slowly they made progress pressing ever deeper. Things happened but nothing horrible until they eventually reached the ‘final’ door. A closed portal with a gem shaped hole and there was also a gigantic diamond sitting in an adjacent alcove. All of a sudden wez ain’t greedy no mo. Brule in an unforeseen act of initiative grabs the diamond and stuffs it into the door. Just about 2 seconds later he falls dead. Now down a body and through the portal they discover a mountain of gold. A little bit of sleuthing later they realize the Temple of Greed will not release them unless they take it all. Brule is stripped of his clothing to make makeshift sacks. Gold is stuck into every imaginable space and the slow slow slow crawl out began.
What should have been one day of forced march has become days of tedious encumbered crawl. They felt that the sooner they got back to the Elf village the better, against my better judgement. The slow walk began. Late in the afternoon tragedy struck again. An otuygh and its filthy retinue, rather than run our platoon stood their ground. A dozen giant carnivorous flies puking forth digestive juices were the spear. The team was flat-footed and their greed was now an anchor. It was a battle of attrition and the vermin had the upper hand. Lando was dissolved before the group were able to turn the table. Death was waiting for them all but only one, more, soul was given. Now the journey home became even longer, even the Gnoll encampment was still too far. Upon this realization they made camp, exhausted and hoped that the night brought no more horrors.
The night and half of the following day were gloriously uneventful. Then came the rains. The trail quickly turned into a muddy mess making the already snail’s pace even worse. A stop was made at the gnoll encampment and a makeshift cart to expedite the travel, the rain did its best to counter this plan. The deluge hindered Saff’s recon and the noise obscured the coming of the porcine riders atop their 20’ six-legged behemoth. The riders appeared as men-like pigs until they leapt from their mount and transformed into boars midair- wereboars!
The slog continued, coated in muck and soaking they finally saw the Elvish village in the distance as night began to draw near. Pushing on they forced march that final hour back to their cabin dropping their horde and collapsing upon it. They awoke stiffly the next morning, perhaps there is a knack to sleeping on a pile of treasure? I question that I’m sure will be forgotten by the time Uncle Scrooge or another dragon is parlayed with. Either way four days had been successfully burnt and the smith had completed her works. Now how the heck do we get back to Helix?
After some upgrades to the cart they set out for Helix. Things went slowly in the muck. The rain eventually ceded, giving notification of a passing ettin. They followed it back to its lair. Snuck up on it and gave it and its ‘wife’ a horrible and bloody death. Don’t cry for them, they had a taste for human. As proven by the corpses and horde of trade goods and a cart upgrade. After a relaxing evening in Ettin manor they made the final push to Helix. They made back with only a few broken pieces. Now they just have to wait for the other hobos.
ROLECALL
Bunny the Filcher (T6) 33341 xp <40001> CRT 1d24/II
Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY5) 45376 <65001> CRT 1d12/III
Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen
Brule Armstrong the Hero (F4) 11277 xp <16251> CRT d20/IV
Akercocke the Minotaur Defender(M5) 22354 xp <40001> CRT 1d12/ III
Elapsed Campaign Time
105 (109) days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)
Join us for session forty-??? (???) when we ask the questions:
Tale of the Tape
Lando Hill-Friggen speedy Halfling at large has joined the fray
KILLS 45 a
Large black spiders (8) 168
Red Death Spiders (2) 142
Howler 820
Hill mummies (2) Ruella & Allor 410
LOOT
400 cp
100 sp
31 gp
Rubies (2) 75 gp each
Crummy diamond 10 gp
Potion of gaseous form
Helmet of comprehend languages and read magic
Longsword of the pacifist (-2)
+1 Flame tongue short sword
Jewelry (14) 9510 gp
Emerald Crested Silver Dagger
+2 Longsword of Hallmoerth (speed)
Blowgun of eternal poisoned darts (d4 poison)
An Elven shoe
Silver cup 30 gp
Gold dipped feather 15 gp
Toe-ring of sure-footedness
Golden cup 60 gp
Crescent moon of bronze 2 gp
Amulet of charm
Rings of Jumping (2) per spell 3x/day
KILLS 45b
Axe Beaks (4)
Young Green Dragon
LOOT
1755 sp
988 gp
Gem assortment (200) 142 @ 5 gp = 710 / 58 @ 10 gp = 580
Brave Sir Robins Shield
Broadsword +3
Broadsword +1 of light
Longsword +1, +2 vs. Lycans
Short sword +1
Oil of etherealness
Potion of Stone giant control
Scroll Ward against Elementals
MU scroll (5 spells)
KILLS 45c
Large Spiders (15)
Huge brown spiders (3)
Skittershades (2)
Automatons (2)
Spider swarms (4)
LOOT
10 sp
20 gp
10 pp
Spider silk spools (10) 200 gp each
Scroll of Lightning bolt
Potion of restorative ointment
KILLS 45d
Skittershades (5)
Shadows (7)
Huge Black Widow
Fosc Anansi
LOOT
Potion of healing d8 (2)
Shortsword +2, frostbrand
450 cp
200 gp
2 pp
Fine Gnomish Lock Picking tools (+5%)
KILLS 45e
Hyenas (8)
Gnoll Warriors (4)
Gnoll Scouts (4)
Gnoll Elites (2) Yarkfu & Hakla
Gnoll Boss Lukratz
Rubble Imps (6)
Golundru the Stone Demon
LOOT
964 sp
431gp
Citrine 45 gp
Aquamarine 50 gp
Gems (6) 40 gp total
Golundru’s eyes (2) 150 gp
Silver ingots (2) 50 gp each
Fox fur lined Cape 43 gp
Necklace
Bracers
Dagger +1, of light 3x/day 1hr 10’ r
Session 45 F
Bunny the Filcher (T6) 34072 xp <40001> CRT 1d24/II
Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY5) 46107 <65001> CRT 1d12/III
Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen
Brule Armstrong the Hero (F4) 11642 xp <16251> CRT d20/IV
Akercocke the Minotaur Defender(M5) 22719 xp <40001> CRT 1d12/ III
Lando Hill-Friggen (H3) xxxx xp 5% <8125>
Elapsed Campaign Time
108 (109) days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)
Join us for session forty-??? (???) when we ask the questions:
Can we get the loot to town or will we die trying?
Tale of the Tape
Brule Armstrong the Hero was not greedy enough, smote by the God of Greed
Lando Hill-Friggen melted by acidic fly puke
KILLS
Tigrillas (3)
Avarice crawler
Giant carrion flies (12)
Otuygh
LOOT
1300 gold àsacrificed to the god of greed (Ack)
Gold ingot 500, gold ring 450, gold teeth (6) 18 àsacrificed to the god of greed (968 Bunny)
huge diamond
Gems (13) not yet defined 500, 50, 100, 75, 500, 250, 10, 250, 25, 75, 250, 100, 10 = 2195
25301 gp (-1001 to reset trap)
Session 45 G
KILLS
Ettins (2)
Porcine devourer (befriended)
Wereboars (2) (Slept)
LOOT
1000 ep
1000 gp
Hematite
Tourmaline
Star sapphire
Turquoise-studded silver jewelry
Platinum bracelet
Gold bracelet
Silver tiara
Trade Goods (including coat and cape): 12,362 SOLD
Unknown Feathers (500)
Bone Fetishes (8)
Potion of heroism
Potion of water breathing
Divine scroll
Arcane scroll
