Thumbscrews (SESSION 50)

 SESSION 50: A Swing and a Miss (24JUL17)

            “Vee ave vays uf makin yu talk!”, jeered the great green cleric

            “Do it, HARD!”, replied the naked bushel of cultists of the death god Orcus

This first attempt at interrogation was partially successful. We found out that there is a tablet thing (some sort of root of evil) that they (the cultists) are looking for, that Orcus central is far to the East, and that these dupes were using their leave to have some sort of creepy death sex bondage orgy. The fiasco attracted some wandering ghouls, that were a pain in the ass. Our Hobos had forgotten that moving southwest of what was previously known as the Pit of Chaos was a newer section of the dungeon. Consequently, it is generally low risk and low yield. Unless of course they don’t give a damn about the amount of ruckus they create. 

It became only a matter of time until a Nergal Kill Crew caught their scent. At the end of a one-way dead end corridor it occurred. An empty crypt, awaiting occupants for hundreds of years yearned for death. Blocking the only route of escape was Blor-Gath the 14^th and his three lieutenants – Donald the Smasher, Gino the Scalper and Tim the Hunter. Blor-Gath spoke with the voice of the grave causing the Hobos to be stricken with fear. Half of which immediately began to grovel. Carla called upon her deity to banish the dead magic successfully rebuilding the party’s defensive line. Bimbles simultaneously called forth the power of Spinning Stars to repel Donald the Smasher with holy force. The bruisers rushed Blor-Gath as Carla and Bimbles surrounded the undead in silence. Raul blasted forth magic missiles that bounced back at him. This was not good but the worst was yet to come. Blor-Gath being surrounded decided to centre a fireball on itself in hopes of incinerating are almost heroes. It should have worked that way but whoever talks about the luck of the dead? The conflagration was not as hot as needed. The hobos even engulfed in flame fought on while Tim and Gino crumbled to ash and Blor-Gath was horribly scarred. What started as a likely scene of mass death had quickly turned to mass re-death. The Hobos had survived. 

Many thought this grim encounter was a certain sign that retreat back to Helix was more than overdue. Oddly, this very reasonable plan was not immediately enacted upon. Some arguing later, tactical redistribution won out and our horde made for the closest exit. Back on the surface It was nearing midday as the trek across the moor began. They were very close to helix when the mist parted there appeared three hill giants each with a loaded sack. Rahgnar attempted to bribe the giants with a pittance. This did not work. So much so that the giants actually hurdled their sacks that were loaded with gold at our gang. As often happens, a grand melee ensued and when the swinging stopped again our hobos were victorious. They grabbed the loot and made the final march back to the outskirts of Helix, anxious to reunite with their wayward comrades and revel in their loot. 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 54166 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d12/III

        Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Canon of GSS (C6) 49104 xp +5% <50001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 47135 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

Rahgnar the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 33033 xp <35001> CRT 1d20/IV

        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Ranger (MD6) 44604 xp <50000> CRT 1d24/II

        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 49281 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d20/IV

        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

Lenardo the Technician (S6) 36236 xp +10% <50000> CRT 1d10/I

        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Brutalitops the mutant Theurgist (W4) 14350 <20001>

The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Hero (D4) 16687 <17501> CRT 1d16/ IV

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 22420 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)


RESERVES

Ding-We the Thaumaturgist (W5) 31255 xp +5% <40001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated
            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 10 DAYS

Bunny the Sharper (T7) 57044 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY5) 64111 <65001> CRT 1d12/III

        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Akercocke the Minotaur Defender(M5) 36344 xp <40001> CRT 1d12/ III

Elapsed Campaign Time

115 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session fifty-one when we ask the questions:

Is the hell of Barrowmaze something a one-eyed mutant really wants to do with his life?

What is this tablet thing that everyone is looking for?

How many times are we going to get away with desecrating Nergal’s unholy sites?

Tale of the Tape

KILLS   

Ravenous Zombies (6) 

Blood-Thirsty Spiders (7) 

Exploding Skeletons (4) 

Purple Moss 

Wights (3) 

Ghouls (6) 

Heucava (5) 

Crypt Knights (3) 

Death Knight Lite ™ Blor-Gath the 14^th  

Hill Giants (3) 

LOOT

5445 gp

72 pp

Potion of Heroism

Potion of Invisibility

Sling Stones +2 (7)

Rubies (4) 

Platemail +1 human

Longsword +1 (light 20’)

Jeweled necklace 

Small Vase 

Sapphire encrusted walking stick 

Ornate quill 

Silver bracelet 

Gold bracelet 

Silver kilt pin 

Coral figurine 

Bracers of Defense (AC5)

Ancient Longsword of Blog-Gath the 14^th