Missing Sequences: How Orcus Stole Christmas

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Tuesday, 18 March 2025

Gross. Who Dropped that Yule Log? (Session 290)

SESSION 290: Merry Mayhem the End (Season’s Beatings Pt. III)

Coming face to face with a great bumble of a beast along with the great rotter. The king of sinful sots. With his termite smile and brain full of spiders, it was Orcus Claws!

Day 248 Continued (Claws’s Workshop): Taking a quick look at the stolen metals storage chamber they cleaned their blades and pressed on. A natural passage. Reaching a junction they continued on rather than moving into the noisy noisy noisy workshop. They came to the filthy and gross living quarters of the crueltide elves. Beyond the yicky stuff there were three crueltide elves and Thrasher one of the demonic reindeer playing dice. The prize was an already taste tested purple-winged fairy. Saffron made it clear there would be no parlay, “Listen up you mother fuckers! Any of you don’t move and I’ll execute every last one of ya! Ain’t no one but me that gonna eat some sweet meat”. Remember, she is cra-cra so it could just be simple cannibalism…. The fight was on. Thrasher blasted his fire breath at the hobos rolling in from the corridor before he attempted to impale Bunny. The thief jumped on and held for dear life. The fight was quick. The fairy was Sugarplum and she wanted only to repay for her freedom before getting the hell outta dodge,” Over there is a secret wall and if you go through the workshop it will lead you to him. I will do my best to forget you all almost immediately”. Sugarplum disappeared as twitty hobos tried to get more than she was giving.

The secret wall hid coin, gems and a frosty dagger not all that dissimilar to the snowmen carrot stabbing noses. The room was really gross.

The hobos did not, for once, dither about. Like a red tide they streamed into the cacophonous workshop.

Noise, noise, noise!

Great crude machines and conveyors have been set up and dozens of Crueltide elves worked ceaselessly to craft the most wicked tools of mass slaughter you’ve ever seen. Two of the Crueltide elves wander up and down the center of the chamber between two rows of workstations. One has a blazing red beard and carries a bloody pickaxe, while the other holds a tiny pair of pliers and has a long shock of dull yellow hair. All work suddenly stops, though the machinery continues to rattle. The two foreman elves turn and look at you and your companions, the red-haired elf twirling his pickaxe wickedly.

“Back to work, wretches! The Dentist and I will handle this!” The Crueltide elves return to their work at his command, though with only a halfhearted effort as they await the ensuing carnage.

The two unusually extra-wicked crueltide elves charged with abandon into the frontline. Carla, showing uncommon courage, stepped into the fray and was rewarded with Nokuy the Red burying his pick axe in her chest. The fight wa quick and triggered a mass exodus as the worker goblins.. err Crueltide elves nearly crushed Bimbles in the passageway as they fled their evil master.

The workshop led to the stables and another larger chamber beyond. Before we would reach that, final, chamber they faced two more demonic reindeer – Pounder and Chaos. The hobos pressed hard and finished things expediently. Now they came to the sleigh hanger and final boss, Orcus Claws.

The largest chamber in the entire complex of caverns. A large red sleigh sits in the center of the room, easily 30feet long and equally wide. Hitched to the sleigh are four demonic reindeer that snort and champ, clearly eager to act. Standing astride the bench on the front of the sleigh is a massive, bloated creature that looks like the terrible union of some forgotten goblinoid beast and an abyssal servant from the deepest part of Hell. Corpulent and wearing a long red mantle that is little more than a bloody rag. It raises a staff of bone topped with a half-shattered human skull and lets out a low chortle.

Chained to the wall is a terrible thing, a cross between a frost giant and some infernal polar

bear.

“You’ve been naughty, and I’ll deal with you soon enough, but I’ve got packages to deliver to all the News down in Newville. It’s time for my sleigh ride … or should I say, slay ride. But don’t worry, Orcus’ Claws has a present, even for naughty boys and girls.” raising his staff and singing in a twisted, infernal voice. The chains binding the terrible beast withered

away to nothing. The massive, white-furred monster let out another earthshaking scream and charged. Orcus’ Claws returned to his preparations.

It seemed that the clock was now ticking.

The snowbeast charged into Charles and Dolec and Orcus sung an infernal song of beguiling, “Bloody Solstice to all, and to all a great blight!”.

This song would turn allies into enemies and the fat bastard would not quit singing variations of this, even when engulfed in an insect plague. Carla did try her best, from afar.

Lester summoned berserkers to aid the efforts. Half of which fell to the morbid tales of OC’s deadly dance. This was going to be tough but there were some advantages to play.

The beast was mindless. Orcus Claws was distracted with the sleigh launching process and Rancid, Putrid, Damner and Vicious were hitched to the sleigh so they could not seek out sweet hobo flesh. Nevertheless the fight was pretty brutal, you should have been there.

The hobos had not made much effort to preserve their resources for the final battle.

Nara was out of brain power and just had to go in kicking.

The clerics were down to low level healing and a flamestrike which proved timely when the snowbeast got into the pillar of holy fire.

When the abominable finally snowbeast fell the sleigh was rocking.

At any moment Orcus Claws would take to the sky to rain death down upon the (predominantly) wee-folk of Newville. The hobos began the long run to the sleigh. Orcus kept singing and friends kept going rogue.

Charles mashed Bimbles’s face into mush, berserker turned berserker, Bunny attacked Saff and then Saff attempted to perforate Bunny.

Then.

Unlikely combatants went face-to-face with Orcus Claws to prevent his nightflight from Hell (yes, feel the Boney M). Bunny and Nara surrounded the corpulent entity. OC swung his mighty skull topped mace and attempted to puncture with his tail mounted death delivery system. The girls were one with the force and dodged his very likely to be terminal blows. Kick, kick, stab and then other stuff. Luck was still with the hobos they were beating down Claws. His plans of raining down mass death were ruined so he would present a final present. He went Islamic. OC called forth an infernal ball of fire and tossed it into his sack of crueltide contraptions.

Ka-Blam! or Big BOOM. Whatever your pleasure.

Fire and shrapnel everywhere. The sleigh was obliterated and Orcus and his reindeer were no longer on this Earth. The hobos, miraculously, were not dead.

Not a single one.

I no longer know what passes for Winter Solstice cheer...

Orcus Claws and his minions had been defeated and our gang returned to Newville as heroes.

All the News were holding hands around the Festival Tree and singing a soulful, but slightly annoying song of celebration. Lucinda New and the rest of the townsfolk thanked our hobos heartily, and the mayor offered to build a cottage for them to use in Newville. She asked one last favor from the Heroes of Newville, “Will you stay in Newville for the season and help the villagers rebuild the damage Orcus’ Claws and his Crueltide elves did to the village? Carla, Nara and Lester quickly accepted. Drowning out Bimbles’s grumbles.

It was a surprisingly mild winter filled with good cheer and better food. A great many small miracles occurred during those months, including Small Sam learning to walk without his crutches, Sheriff Wourelle finding his courage, and at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Day, the Shrine of Father Newvus miraculously became whole and unstained again. After a season of simple, hard work the murderhobos would find their hearts were evermore filled with good cheer in times of darkness and could resist any fear unlike before.

Spring did eventually arrive (ninety days later) and the gang collected young Sam, whom Bunny and Nara had been training during their free time, and once more our band stepped into the wilds to return to Helix.

“I wonder what we missed”, mused Charles.

“Probably just death and dismemberment”, came from Dolec.

“What kinda operation is this?”, Lester was finally beginning to see the folly of his ways.

“Better than being sacrificed to an indescribable blob thing by your father and also still being second in line to your sister”, the normally not so creepy Nara.

“Peggy-leggy probably did something dumb”, was Saffron’s unexpectedly astute addition.

Lester was very happy the fairy had stepped up as the nearly naked purple girl had scared him.

“Probably”, was all Bunny had to say.

Bimbles shut things down with a grumble, “Can we not be rid of this horde of sausage fingers?”.

“Bu…ah…um…”, Sammy was catching on and did not elicit further grump from the cleric.

Carla pointed towards the south. She was not going to get dragged into this. She was a high priestess of TMB after all.

If they were lucky a giant or two would be found on the way.

The CBB-Team: Carla, Bimbles, Bunny, Saffron, Charles, Dolec, Nara & Lester

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 356271 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 320506 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

+2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 326064 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 233287 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

Missing thirteen teeth

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 272840 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4,

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 374765 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 515312 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 312116 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T9) 181946 xp +5% <280001> CRT 1d20/II

Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 198080 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L8) 203454 xp +10% <390000> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 112609 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 102620 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 128163 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 78549 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 86207 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)

Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 32851 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 54599 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 71196 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6) 57780 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6) 32987 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F6) 37745 <64000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6) 48456 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Katre Elf-Girl and Swordsman Conjuror (E3) 13040 xp <16000> +0% CRT 1d8/II

Lady Versamage Knight Errant (K6) 62883 xp <85000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Herbert the Gnomish Trickster (G3) 12276 xp <12000> +5% CRT XXXX

Skull-Crusher (A3) 5850 xp <6000> +5% CRT XXXX

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

(702 b) days at beginning of session (Dreamlands)

689a (Bunny Group Newville)

706d (Ding-We Gang Liwil)

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Ninety-One when we ask the questions:

Not much really as we won’t see these guys again until Spring

Will Small Sam be the newest addition to our MurderHobo brigade?

Was this the last or Orcus Claws?

Tale of the Tape

Our squad stood up to fear and will come out of it with a greater internal fortitude (+2 to Fear saves).

Finished until Day 779.

KILLS

Crueltide Elves (6)

Thrasher

Nokuy the Red

The Dentist

Chaos

Pounder

Snowbeast

Orcus Claws

LOOT

365 gp

Golden Rings (5) 50 gp each

Silver Panpipes 150 gp

Beryls (3) 20 gp each

Rubies (4) 60 gp each

Strange Wintery Dagger

A Cottage in Newville!

Wednesday, 5 March 2025

Even More Season's Beatings (Session 288)

SESSION 288: Ascending Mount Strumpet (Season’s Beatings Pt. 2)

Hot on the trail of Orcus-Claws and his malevolent crueltide elves.

"we will shoot yer eyes out"

Day 247 Continued (Newville): They did not make haste to Lucinda’s cottage. First it as time to spread aid to the broken folk of Newville. Once done the thirty steps were taken to the mayor’s now hovel of a domicile.

Its door lies in a nearby snowbank. Wisps of white snow blow across the threshold and into the house itself. Inside, a large empty spot below a hole in the ceiling is where a cooking stove undoubtedly once stood. The timbers of a bedframe lie in the opposite corner. All the furniture in the room appears to have been disassembled down to its base parts. Even the nails that once held up the family portraits were gone. She invited them in as she sadly attempted to make home more welcoming than condemnable. Over a cold meal she explained the happenings of the previous evening. “a strange, demonic goblinoid creature came storming down from Mount Strumpet wearing a red suit and leading a small army of equally strange goblins clad in pointed shoes and wearing bell-topped caps. We News of Newville never saw them coming as we gathered to sing around the Festival Tree, we were uplifted in the singular rapture of holiday caroling. Orcus’ Claws announced his presence just before departing and it was then that we were torn from their reverie and realized that the strange creatures that served him (Crueltide elves) had stolen every piece of iron they could get their hands on. They had pried nails from walls, took hinges off doors, took plates from wagon axles, shoes off of horses, everything. With the village in shambles, I fear we won’t survive the winter, or worse that Orcus’ Claws will return and attack now that the village is completely defenseless”. She took a breath before continuing with more...

Bimbles jumped in, already at capacity for sob stories, “YAWN. Wow look at how late it is and we have been marching through the snow all day. I’m sure Green-Girl will have us chasing after that villain Orcus-Claws first thing in the morning. You wouldn’t want us to underperform now would you?”.

Lucinda being a somewhat naive little person did not get the underlying cynicism, “OH you are right Mr. Cleric. You should be at your best. Please make yourselves at home on my floor, it is all that I have left to offer”.

And so the night passed and with the coming of dawn they set out. Just as Bimbles rued.

Day 248 (Newvilleàthe Lair): With a crummy map in hand the group went north following the game trail into the pine forest for Orcus Claw’s lair atop Mount Strumpet. “Just follow the game path through the forest to the base of the mountain. May Festivus watch over you”, Lucinda pointed north beyond the Festivus tree to the ominous pine forest. Forward they as the skies darkened and the winds picked up. It was only a couple of miles of travel but it would not come easy as the weather arose and there were other things in this forest.

First they came across what appeared to be eight snowmen trail markers. They were such but had another overwhelming purpose – Kill Kill Kill. The snowmen animated and attacked swinging scratchy claws and stabbing with their detachable carrot noses. Two charged while the other six just disappeared into the snow only to reappear behind the hobos to backstab with frozen carrots. Once they ran out of tricks it was just a matter of pummeling the snowmen back into their constituent frosted flakes.

After a breather they pressed on to the next ordeal.

Winter Bones.

Over the howls of the growing blizzard and despite the muffling effect created by a blanket of snow, a merry singing rises on the wind. Much to your surprise, a black-clad skeletal scarecrow leaps from behind a tree. Inhumanly lean with overly long limbs, it stood more than seven feet tall and offered a grotesque grin to the hobos. Bones came on friendly and gregarious but noticeably giving birth to the clerics and paladin – “yeech”.

Bones asked a ceaseless stream of questions about winter, the holiday season, and the tiniest details regarding both. It is as if he had never encountered much of much before in his existence. He was a time sponge and would not stop his endlessly enthusiastic interrogation. Our gang had reached their limit and just began marching away no more questions would be answered. With an innocent mercilessness he began to dance around the hobos, “You will now be dancing fools just like Winter Bones”. This was old magic. The kind that is leftover from eons past and having great potency. To be taken by the dance was an excruciating affair as bodies bent in bone cracking configurations. Bones was fast and erratic. Many the action was disrupted and sword came up out of reach. However, eventually Winter Bones’s own incessance would lead to his disruption. Bones disintegrated into a sparkling and laughing cloud that was picked up by the wind and dispersed amongst the snow covered pines. For those that were dancing their suffering did not end with Bones’s abolition. These old magics refused to be dispelled and lingered until the Fool’s Dance had completed.

After a bunch of healing and such they marched on.

Finally they came to the base of Mount Strumpet. Conveniently, the trail continued up the mountain and it had been cleared of snow recently. The lair would be found at the end of the path. To reach the end and the penultimate chapter of this Winter adventure they would be visited by three ambushes this afternoon.

The first was now. Jumping from the snowbank a host of crueltide elves with wicked contraptions.

The second occurred along a treacherous portion of narrow path. Blightskrieg the demonic reindeer flew from a hidden position breathing fire and attempting to gore grumpy Bimbles to death.

The third was as they approached the entrance of Orcus Claw’s workshop. More rotten crueltide elves triggered an avalanche and then sent crossbow wielding wind-up tin men at our band, many of whom were buried waste deep in snow, rock and ice. The clerics taught them a lesson as they combined forces and unleashed a horde of snakes. Why didn’t they immediately freeze, don’t ask me I can only fight so many fights unlike our unstoppable horde.

Into the lair.

A large fissure split open after ten feet into a massive cavern that goes on far beyond the light of the many lanterns placed at very points around the room. Seemingly endless piles of various metal objects lie against the eastern and western walls, these mounds taller than an ogre. Nails, screws, heads for axes, picks, hammers, hinges, and wheel axles — all the resources stolen from the kindly people of Newville. Half a dozen Crueltide elves were working through the mounds in pairs across the room, one manning a wheelbarrow while the second shovels metal objects. They glowered and growled at the hobos. The barrow tenders reach into their wheelbarrows while their partners raise their surprisingly sharp shovels like broad-bladed spears. Goblins dressed like goofballs, even with strange contraptions, would not stop our seasoned murderers. Cleaning their blades the hobos prepared to take the singular passage leading deeper into Claw’s workshop.

The CBB-Team: Carla, Bimbles, Bunny, Saffron, Charles, Dolec, Nara & Lester

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 356271 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 320506 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

+2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 312116 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 198080 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 112609 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 86207 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)

Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 71196 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6) 48456 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

(702 b) days at beginning of session (Dreamlands)

688a (Bunny Group Newville)

701d (Ding-We Gang Liwil)

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Eighty-Nine when we ask the questions:

Why has Christmas dragged on sooo long?

What do these cruel contraptions do?

Do ya think anyone heard the avalanche?

Tale of the Tape

Nothing outside the norm here, fight fight fight.

KILLS

Frosted Snowmen (8)

Winter Bones

Blightskreig the Demonic Reindeer

Crueltide Elves (19)

Windup Toy Soldiers (2)

LOOT

Crueltide Contraptions assortment (12)

24 gp

Tuesday, 11 February 2025

...And Now for Something Completely Seasonally Murderous (Session 286)

SESSION 286: What’s the News in Newville? (Season’s Beatings Pt. 1)

Winter comes out swinging and we have to go for a hike.

Continued from Session 276

Day 236 – 240 (Helix): They awoke to a fresh blanket of snow and Mother Nature was far from done. The heavy snow would last for five days before respite. The treasure hunters were a little disappointed but saner folk would have hunkered down for the season. So the gang more or less spent the time lounging about the Brazen Strumpet as Jack Frost raged outside. Bollo the barkeeper was happy to have them as the weather had exaggerated the new quieter norm caused by the defeat of Barrowmaze. On the eve of the third day Muzzah rolled in demanding drink and a service from our mob.

“You! Favour mooches keep my glass full and heed my words. This early storm has created a headache that you are going to resolve. You are at least partially to blame anyhow. With the coming of Winter Solstice I send supplies to my friends in Newville, a small mostly halfling village residing under the shadow of Mount Strumpet about four days to the north of us. I can see Billworth asleep in the corner so the Silver Standard Merchant Caravan are out to lunch and you are Osen’s only occupants of the merc guild barracks…So you will conduct the delivery and check-in errand and you will depart as soon as this storm breaks. Here take this cookie compass. The single chip always points at Newville. No I am not going to field any questions.Now get me another drink”.

The sagely wizard did not leave an opening for negotiation so our mooks just rolled with it, “Sure Muzzah whatever you need” came from our usually looking for something for nothing green cleric.

“Another drink and a bowl of Bollo’s Winter gruel”, was Muzzuh’s retort.

The thick blanket of snow now exceeded two feet in depth and was still going strong. They would be walking to their destination. Bunny an Carla had ideas about strange implements to ease the travel. How these thoughts came to be we cannot say but they earned more than a few scoffs and gaffahs.

Day 241 – 246 (Helix-Wilds): ..And on the sixth day the weather grabbed a break. The clouds were no longer dumping just a constant light snow. The storm however would return. Hopefully not before the gang had completed their errand for Muzzah. The sage had a stack of goods outside his tower with a note to deliver and not bother him. Bunny opened up the portable hole and Charles, Dolec and Lester loaded in the assortment of barrels of wine, cheese wheels and salted meats. The trek northish began.

This could have taken four days but distractions arose with greater frequency the deeper into the pine wilds.

They made good time for the first three days and then the distractions started kicking into gear.

Late morning of the third day a giant owl quietly watched the hobos pass by. It wasn’t until Saff absent mindedly flew past the strigiform turned her head and freaked out was the giant revealed. Saff divebombed into the folds of Bunny’s heavy winter hood. The owl quietly watched amused, curious or something else it was hard to tell. Carla called forth the ability to speak with animals and began hooting at the raptor. It seemed that the owl was trying to get some sleep after a successful evening hunt but our travellers were nothing but a source of racket. The cleric apologized and then was able to pull some information from the bird before its curiosity held back its rest. A hunting party of hyena-men were moving west across the forest, a cave bear was oddly active and no giants had been seen so far this season. After this the topic of conversation was not enough to stave off sleep. The owl hacked up a large pellet of fur and bone and closed its eyes. They pressed on.

On the fourth day the team intersected the gnoll tracks now partially filled with snow. A prolonged period of deliberation occurred. For some reason Bunny seemed to be channelling Ding-We and saying very Hop-A-Long type things like “We must follow the tracks and eradicate the gnolls” even if tracking was not in their wheelhouse and that they were in the middle of running an errand for an irritable sage. Carla did her best to channel their lost friend Lenardo and use the power of ‘Science!’ to assess the freshness of the tracks. She concluded that the tracks were one to three days old. We would not find out, “Maybe we should do the task at hand before trekking across the wilds” was Bimbles input. He was not keen on a wild gnoll chase through the vast wilds especially in-between major Winter storms.

On the morn of the fifth they were ambushed by the cave bear. It was sleeping under a snow drift and was awoken by plodding malcontents. It was hungry, probably always hungry, and brought Lester to the ground nastily opening his neck. Blood began spraying all over the once lovely pure white snow. Saff charmed the beast but could not communicate with it so they agreed to be friends. The bear went straight back to trying to eat a hobo. The fight culminated with a plan to skin the fifteen foot carcass. This wasted the rest of the day. That evening they narrowly avoided having their camp trampled by a herd of mammoths on the long haul away from undesirables to the west. Yup, those damn gnolls again.

Now on to the sixth day, the journey stretched even further in duration. Again the hobos were surprised. This time four humans with very cat-like characteristics sorta just appeared from behind some trees as the mob worked their way through a denser mixed stand of trees. “Mmmm

what do have here my siblings?” came from the female of the group.

“Waaaaaghhh.”, was Bimbles response.

“Little poppets why aren’t you behind closed doors being warmed by the fire. It winter when the wild things roam”. The gang began spilling their guts to these four with feline characteristics. The four struggled with their innate curiosity and present disinterest in our goof troop. It did not take long for the folk to bore of the gabba-gabba. “If you stay in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise”, they began to fall back into the forest. Their voices was all that remained for a few more moments, “If you stay in the woods today, you’d better be in disguise….”.

“They were an odd lot. Wonder what they meant”, came from Charles. We would find out shortly.

The snow picked up and they trudged on with Bimbles making regular complaint about the cold be bad for his skin.

It was not long after lunch when they heard the first howl and then response. Wolves and it sounded like they had encircled us and were kind enough to be tightening the loop and keeping us abreast of it. Then things went quiet. In like the whole forest. Just the sound of frozen branches creaking with the building winds. “No wolf would be foolish enough to attack a band such Metal Warriors as ourselves”, confidently stated Lester. “Ugh. That is the kinda talk that gets us into trouble new guy” was Dolec’s point was he adjusted his hand on the hilt of his blade.

The wolves pondered this for a few minutes before launching their ambush.

Giant canines with stunning white and icy blue coats that perfectly blended into the frozen landscape. Six winter wolves, far more formidable and wicked than a pack of wolves four times their number. Leaping forward they blasted the hobos with freezing breath before they simply began tearing into our mooks with wicked bone crushing jaws.

Bimbles screamed out “Don’t wreck those pelts they are worth stacks of gold! Flats and blunt!”. The blade wielders were bummed by this but the prospect of riches always gets our team on target. The fight was extended in duration due to caution and this resulted in more spilt hobo juice than necessary. One of the wolves escaped and then the rest of the day was spent harvesting three pelts. The trip would once more be delayed. Camp was set.

Even in the cold there are creatures with keen senses able to zero in on a kill from leagues away. This evening it was a giant wolverine.

Wow. What a foul temperament. It came in full of murder. Blasting into the camp messing up everything and then it hit Dolec with a spray of disgusting musk. The fighter was blinded, retching and his clothing was disintegrating. Even though giant and possessed with wickedness the mustelid could not hold against a hobo huddle.

The camp was in ruins and had a god-awful stink to it, so did Dolec. It was the dead of night moving camp any more than fifty or so feet would be a major headache and potentially attract more unwanted attention. Dolec was stripped of most of his (stinking) armour and sent over there as the rest of the gang spent the remainder of the evening over here on the other side of the fire.

Day 247 (Wilds - Newville): The camp stunk and Dolec stank. With a new day the group were not feeling well rested (again). The clouds were getting real thick and real black the storm break would be ending soon. Bunny figured an hour or so after lunch they could get to this Newville if there were no more distractions. She was correct. The great Mount Strumpet stood before them wrapped in Winter’s great black clouds. They came over a rolling hill to see the forested valley under the shadow of Mount Strumpet. A large clearing where the village of Newville sits surrounded by endless banks of twinkling white snow in the light of the winter afternoon. The icy tranquility of what would otherwise be a breathtaking view is marred by thin tendrils of smoke rising from various cottages and buildings that are visible even from this distance. Quickening their pace down the last ridge and into the valley of the village proper- destruction has been visited upon this idyllic rural community. Several corpses lie in bloodstained snowbanks, and the wails of villagers wracked with pain and sorrow break even the snow-muffled silence of winter. Something far worse than a bad fruitcake has been visited upon this winter

wonderland … Before them the eastern fields, a thick blanket of snow pockmarked by blood and dirt covers this long, low valley. Making their way toward the village, they observed small huts that were undoubtedly homes to the farmers who tend these fields in the warm season. Most now lie in ruin. Collapsed houses and crumbled stables are all that remain of most of these simple and welcoming homes. Several humans and halflings are sullenly and futilely dragging the corpses of their fellow villagers from the snow or attempting to repair their broken homes. “To the village don’t look around there is a giant tree. That is where we wanna be! We can’t help the dead”, was Bimbles the Not so Benevolent’s direction. Strangely, there was no dispute. I guess the cold had frozen all their hearts. Into the village.

A massive pine tree covered in candles of bright wax, wrapped in strings of nuts, candied fruits, and lovingly polished apples sits in the center of the tiny village of Newville. It is a forty-foot testament to unwavering holiday cheer crowned with a twinkling silver star. Several News mill about the tree, halfheartedly singing cheerful songs that sound all the more mournful for their attempts. Among the crowd of a dozen or so, one New stood out: A halfling woman with an exceedingly round face, wild golden curls,

and eyes as bright and shining as the winter sky. She trundled up, wiping the tears from her eyes and took a moment to obviously compose herself before putting on a bright and innocent smile. “Lucinda New, Mayor of Newville! Welcome to our village — and merry Wintermass!” holding out a sausage-fingered hand in greeting.

Carla explained that they had been sent by Muzzah to deliver goods, for the solstice celebration and do a wellness check. The consensus on the latter task was – not so good. Lucinda New explained that while the village sang around the Wintermass tree the previous evening a wicked creature known as Orcus-Claws, and his Crueltide Elves visited a tragedy upon their joyous little village. She directed them to come to her house so she could tell the tale over dinner without causing further distress for the locals moping about.

They were about to move along when a small halfling boy on tiny crutches approached, holding out one hand covered in a frayed glove. “Please spare a copper or two good travelers. What with it being Winter Festival and all” came from the wee cripple as he coughed pathetically.

“Gross. Dolec give it a coin!”, Bimbles is nothing but consistent.

“What? I haven’t been paid in months ya lump!”, Dolec was more than a little irritated from the journey for stinking reasons.

Nara stepped up with a couple of gold coins. Where they came from, only Carla’s pouch will ever know. “Oh thank-you. A merry Wintermass to you all”, he then tipped his ragged cap and hobbled away with a weak smile on his face. Lucinda explained that the boy is “Small Sam.” Without shelter or resources and given the current developments in Newville, the boy likely will die of his crippling illness.

“Quick get us to dinner before more villagers come a limping”, Bimbles putting an arm around Lucinda and pushing her towards where he thought her home may be.