Eight Times the Trouble (Session 33)

 SESSION 33: The Crawling Fog (05DEC16)

     The fifth day in Greenwood rolled in on the creeping tendrils of a fog sporting unnatural thickness. Biting cold and wet, travel is slow. Eventually the trail begins to drop down and the grey gloom brightens as the trees open up. Welcome to the swamplands. Clouds of biting insects are your reward for surviving Greenwood. No time to complain smoke is on the air, then the clang of steel and from the mist runs a man covered in hundreds of egg sized spiders biting and encasing him in webbing. As quick as he appeared the mist again swallowed him and his screams. 

    Pressing on we find a bridge with an overturned caravan wagon burning and the scene of an ambush. The fog still not willing to give up all its secrets hides the true details. Little froglings leap about attacking the humans protecting the wagon. Spiders the size of mules also harangue the guards and on the other side of the bridge orchestrating the whole thing, spider-men. Bipedal tarantula-like beings 7 – 9’ tall wearing very expensive skinny jeans. Let us not get preoccupied with their modern idiot fashion sense, all hell is breaking loose. The front-line, of these beings, hurling spider baby balls that explode upon Raul and Calvin. They both fall to a thousand little bites and become encased in webbing in the blink of an eye. The big one in the back unleashes a mental attack that shows the horrors that await- all flesh will be consumed. The hobos regain their wits just as the frogmen horde closes in. We enjoy a grand melee, you imagine it I don’t have time or inclination to type it out. 

Then something strange happens, our murderhobos all of a sudden begin to fancy themselves heroes and decide to pursue the spiders with the intent of saving the soon to be victims. Treasure was also of interest they are murderhobos after all. Yes, I skipped the fight. Just like i said. The key takeaway was that the spider-things took off with their encased captives as our hobos were swarmed by the froglings (I suggest researching tarantula and frog mutualistic relationships). Into the mist in pursuit the terrain begins to rise. Moving up the hill they discover the hive of the Tarantulons and with a little bit of sneaking and murdering they get in unnoticed. 

A maze of web tubes, spider traps and sneak attacks brings our horde face-to-face with the hives broodmother Thelob. A massive bloated creature the size of a cabin sitting upon her dais flanked her hand maidens and two statues of blood red stone. Images of her master or god perhaps? A spider with the head of a wicked looking woman somewhat human and somewhat elven. They are greeted with a lightning bolt and then, as usual, hell breaks loose. Boris gets off a couple flasks of oil off and we have burning spider. Thelob lets loose a psionic blast, her alien intelligence is too much for some of our group - crushing mental capacity. Ramrod seeing the battle tipping in favour of the spider grabs a stone and has Carla cast silence on it and he dashes in.His intention is to counter Thelob’s verbal component of whatever spell she was going to drop next. The opportunity is too much for him and he performs a backstab. She is not happy and turns on him. The spider queen pummels Ramrod and then gives him the kiss of death. Ramrod falls dead. Seconds later Thelob also succumbs to mortal injury. Victory, and we save some people too but it came with a cost. A wealthy family, a couple of guardsmen and the wagon driver are in tow but no stinking treasure... 

They make a hasty retreat. Escaping the hive they are confronted by the Psychic Master and a horde of dog sized spiders. This gets messy. Len-ardo falls summoning his surtuepede to return him from the brink, it does not work properly. Strange green boils rise up on one side of his face. The child also gets it, and so do the guards and driver before the battle ends. The band move further down the slope and set camp too injured to press on to the town today. But not too hurt to get treasure! Back into the hive, there must be loot to loot! 

Back in they go and this time they seem to discover more spiders and traps. Sloth falls after being swarmed by spiderlings, he saw the light but needed to come back and ask Ding-We if he should go to it or not. “Damn loyal mendicant that one”. They press on sensing treasure is near. It was, in a chamber they had not paid much attention in on the original delve. “Sheeee-it! Coulda saved us some resources”. After dealing with the males of the colony our hobos got down to sifting through decades of desiccated husks to find a veritable horde of treasure. Packing up the loot and fallen Sloth they made their way back to camp unmolested. While no one was watching Bimbles pulls a scroll from his sleeve and Ramrod becomes a little less dead. “It was him or the kid and that kid ain’t done nothing for me”. Morality out in the wilderlands is about survival and nuttin else. 

On that note, our hobos can bask in the glory of this five hour work day. They were heroic, they were hobos, they murdered the opposition and they got paid.

 ROLECALL

 Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 19998 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 19658 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d8/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 19186 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Swashbuckler (F5) 17667 xp +5% (101) <32501> CRT 1d24/V

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 13365 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 15936 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Architect (MM5) 12518 xp <22400> CRT 1d12/III

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 11839 xp <12000> CRT 1d8/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 15613 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T5) 14544 xp <20001> CRT 1d20/II 

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 14840 xp  +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 21892 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Sloth the Charger (L4) 8769 <16800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m)

Mar the Jester (J4) +1338+526+512+156 CRT 1d16/II

 

RESERVES

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 10801 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 11714 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338+526+512 CRT 1d16/IV

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

83 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-four when we ask the questions:

What is this Ironguard Motte gonna be like?

Will the people like us now that we is heroes?

I wonder if there is any neat stuff to kill and loot in this swamp?

Tale of the Tape

Sloth became spider food and went splat (2wks)

Len-ardo was perforated and infused with venom (2wks)

Ramrod – Dead and back again (2wks)

KILLS 

Froglings (24) Defeated  

Frogling sergeants (8) Defeated 

Tarotulas (4)

Tarantulon Catcher 

Tarantulon Psionic Master  

Frogling gaurds (6) 

Tarantulon Males (4) 

Tara-Drones (15) 

Spider swarm    

Tarantulon Breeders (5) 

Thelob’s Hand Maidens (8) 

Tarantulon Brood Mother (Thelob) 

LOOT

7800 sp

2000 gp

1800 pp 

Scoll (3 x MU)

Glass shield 

Short bow of fine quality 

Spear remarkable construction

Potion of ???

Potion of ????

a Girdle 

20 gems 

Assorted jewelry 40 pieces 

Into the Greenwood (Session32)

 SESSION 32: A walk in the park (21NOV16)

            A new land covered in snow, overlooked by the tower of a mad wizard and with the endless forest Greenwood between home and us. Mar gave some insight, what little a hipster doofus city slicker can. It was decided to hit the outpost that separated the lands of Zayne from the forest for supplies before plunging into the unknown. But first the bad news, the barbarian horde have realized they were close to home (we were somewhat adjacent to the Worthless North) and as such it would be an opportune juncture to part ways. “Ya-ya, we will meet you again in Denethix after 2 months when we have seen our momma’s and addressed the portents in the night sky”. "Once we pass through the lands of man and into the great green we shall part ways". It was still a goodly ways yet, I am not sure why our knuckleheads were so quick to announce their not so imminent departure from the horde.

    With that our hobos moved down and across the rolling hills, that once was home to a mighty coniferous forest that held Greenwood and its gnarled oaks back was now just a field of stumps. A day and a half later they approached the outpost that guarded the bridge between the lands of Zayne and Greenwood the Great. Ramrod led the expeditionary incumbent along with the barbarians to check it out. The rest of the party found a copse of trees along the river to hunker down in. 

            Nothing interesting, largely just a border stop providing basic caravan supplies and related taxation. After spending some time in line the gang stated their business and were assessed a passage fee. From here the barbarians pressed on towards the mountain range separating the lands of Zayne from the Worthless North. Ramrod and company spent some time talking to the traders in the customs line outside the outpost. They gathered some information on the first leg of their journey it would take 5 or so days to reach the nearest settlement and Ramrod learned the first (and only) rule of Greenwood- don’t leave the path.

            So they shambled on down the road until they were adjacent to the rest of our mob on the other bank. Out came the folding boat and wave after wave of murderhobo made it across the river. An hour or so later they stood before Greenwood’s great gaping maw. Ancient oak trees tangled together over the ages ominously discouraging incursion. Strangely, even with a blanket of snow the trees refused to give up their foliage. Nothing controls Greenwood the Great not even winter. Nevertheless the road plunged in, quickly becoming rutted and treacherous in the abyssal gloom that readily swallowed the hobos. Day was like night and night was absolute. 

    An unexpected encounter with a gypsy caravan late in the afternoon. Trade and talk followed by a quick drink and song before the gypsy’s had to make haste to exit the forest before nightfall. Midday of the second, corpses were discovered. Men, gnolls and halflings recently deceased. It appears that the halflings had been the ambushers. Scouting efforts intensified as we moved on. It paid off. Team Sneaky Fuckers & Rubber Leg (TSF&RL), Saffron coined that, consisting of Bunny, Ramrod and Saff caught sight of the halflings at their apparent ambush station. It sounds unlikely but the little guys had their attention elsewhere and did not note our group. This was further confirmed when the halflings spooked just before our hobos could get to them. A short time later the presumed spookers almost crushed Bunny as they burst onto the path. Five minotaurs, they could smell Bunny a different and tastier scent than the one they had been tracking. The rest of the hobos used surprise to their advantage and cut the minotuars into ribbons. Again the forest was deathly silent until night. 

    During camp that evening all sorts of things could be heard, scurrying, scratching and unfathomable communications but nothing broke the camp. The third day came bleak as the previous. Passing with the utter absence of any other life. The fourth day was trouble straight through. 

    Something big was flying around and killing. This being later confirmed by a hole on the canopy as something of great strength and had smashed through in a killing ambush. Only leaving destruction and a splattering of blood. Moving ahead TSF&RL again have the good fortune to catch creatures in wait and unaware. Horse sized spiders hairy and with two suction cup arms flanking grossly oversized mandibles. “Looks like its death from above” Mar then sets a stinking cloud ahead and above, see how the spiders like that. It would have been a perfect plan but only a portion of them came from above. Mind you, that lot was incapacitated and selected for easy murder. The fight raged but the cloud had done its job and provided our hobos with advantage. Still it took a team effort to save Lenardo’s life as one spider just seemed to have his number. After the battle they pressed on in anticipation of finding one of the forest settlements either Steeplejack Motte or Helix. Greenwood was not ready to let then out quite yet. So they set camp in hope that the fifth day would be rewarding. 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 19642 xp +10% <25001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 19302 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d8/I

Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 18830 xp +5%  <25001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 17210 xp +5% (101) <16251> CRT 1d20/IV : Levelled up midsession, now a Swashbuckler

Rahgnar the Dwarven Hero (D4) 13009 xp  <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

 

Raul the Hobo (MD4) 15580 xp <15000> CRT 1d16/II : Levelled up midsession, now a Wayfarer

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.

Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 12162 xp <11200> CRT 1d10/III : Levelled up midsession, now a Architect

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1

Lenardo the Professor (S4) 11483 xp <12000> CRT 1d8/I

                        Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 15257 xp <17501> CRT 1d16/IV

                        Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face   

Bunny the Burglar (T4) 14288 xp <20001> CRT 1d16/II : Levelled up midsession, now actually a Burglar

 

Ramrod the Burglar (T5) 14584 xp  +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

                         Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

                        Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

                        Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 21536 <32501> CRT 1d10/II

                        Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

 

            The Henchmen

Mighty Yord the Slayer (B3) 10801 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 11714 <16251> CRT 1d14/III

Sloth the Brute (L3) 8413 <8400> CRT 1d16/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s,m) : Levelled up midsession, now a Charger

Mar the Jester (J4) +1338+526+512 CRT 1d16/II

Hrolga the Amazon (CC4) +1338+526+512 CRT 1d16/IV

 

RESERVES

Empty

Elapsed Campaign Time

78 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session thirty-three when we ask the questions:

Who really is in charge of this forest?

Its been five days why ain’t we at where we want to be?

Are we being stalked?

Why won’t Ramrod leave the path?

Has Ramrod been replaced by a cautious doppelgänger?

Will those of us that gained a level remember to check our CRIT dice?

Tale of the Tape

Nothing to report

KILLS 

Halfling Kill Squad (AVOIDED) 

Minotaurs (5) 

Trolls feasting on a stag (AVOIDED)

Rhagodessa (12) 

LOOT

3000 sp

444 cp