SESSION 25: Our Lives are Like Water… (12 July 16)
Roasted badger, yum. Where we quickly discover that giant wolverines just want to kill and the one that talks to animals should be the one to blow the magic whistle. Carla had a new friend and Rufus is his name and eating is his aim. After some clarification we believe that we have domesticated the dire beast. The previous beastmaster’s legs probably assisted in the matter. And so our wayward band elected to push on. Right into a horde of bugbears, likely led to the door by the released Grunk and Spunk.
“Sorry dudes, bugbears do as bugbears do”
Much bloody combat ensued. Good fortune shined on Grunk as he went down early due to Ding-We’s sleep spell and avoided sword stickery. After the slaughter our hobos gave Grunk a shake to break the spell.
“I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in this life and would be happy to join if it meant escape from the maze and livin’ a bit longer”
Needless to say Grunk was more than willing to sign on and live. As hobo luck would have the combat attracted the attention of a trio of hook horrors, whom love lady meat, more bloody combat ensued. The hobos trudged on.
Their path led then to Pynyk’s trap-aganza art gallery. I could go one about the poor choices that followed even when they all knew this was a fancy gallery of death. Let us just ask one question. Why push the buttons Ramrod, why? Invisible and comatose he is so the answer may not be forthcoming. Bimbles strapped the unseen but smoldering body onto his back. They eventually pressed on and discovered Mar the Jester, after being ambushed by a grotesque mandrill and a gaggle of baboons. During which time Hobo Steve finally, I mean FINALLY, displayed the true power of a fighters drop and chop power. Mar was another captive of the maze trying to stay above ground, so to speak.
Moving on, really that is what they did. Another teleportation corridor was discovered. This dropped the hobos into Zulg the Oracles palace of meditation. He told them some junk and they backtracked through to teleportation corridor to find themselves back in the stone golems room. Some time later they got themselves back to the initial teleportation corridor and went “south”. This led to King Olvar’s harem. Three very attractive and very chained women under what appeared to be the very watchful eye of three very large eunuchs with even larger scimitars. Utterly ignoring the eunuchs very clear “fuck-off now” stance we had even more bloody combat. Our hobos being ever oblivious of their dwindling resources continued to taunt death. When the smoke cleared, the party was a bit bloodier and victorious. Our vagrants were graciously thanked by the “captive” women and were released from their chains. Not that they all needed it… the honey pot was opened. Veerdra the dark beauty and the leader recalled how she had heard story of escape to be found around the art gallery. This was all bullshit but our gang is only ever skeptical at the wrong time. Their ranks swelled further and back to the gallery they went.
Unlike our wayward band Mar is trying his best to stay alive. This prompted him to mention that he had a “really bad feeling about this” to Ding-We. As expected from this crew Ding-We become skeptical of the jesters allegiance. Unable to determine things through normal channels DW dug out one of his hidden spoils, a potion of ESP. Well let me tell you this painted a completely different picture in his rotten little mind. A vampire and a lycanthrope were in their midst and they were moist with the anticipation of murder and mayhem. This also moistened DW a bit as he peed himself, just a little, at the prospect of his imminent death. Again into his robes he went fishing for an answer. Shrinky dink was nowhere to be found and so he subtly quaffed his potion of undead control.
“Hopefully this does mix poorly in me ole gulliver”
As luck had it Veerdra was too busy dreaming of death to note this action. Then she fell under the power of the potion. Cryenna the weretigress noted a change in her companions disposition realized the jig was up, transformed into her hybrid state and launched into the party. It is now that we learn that some lycanthropes have superior defenses, that Sloth is under the control of Veerdra and even though she is friendly with Ding-We she ain’t gonna help the party kill her “sister”. The battle began tipping in the hobo’s favour and this seemed to be the ideal time for our two evil ladies to make their exit, leaving behind their thrall Hrolga the Amazon. They transformed into animals and launched down the teleportation corridor. Leaving our hobo’s eating dust and contemplating pursuit….
ROLECALL
Carla the Green Prefect of TMB (C5) 14284 xp +10% <25001>
Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm
Ding-We the Theurgist (W4) 13944 xp +5% <20001>
Bimbles the Prefect of GSS (C5) 13467 xp +5% <25001>
Hobo Steve the Hero (F4) 11852 xp +5% (101) <16251>
Rahgnar the Dwarven Swordmaster (D3) 8651 xp <8751>
Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)
Raul the Hobo (MD4) 10322 xp <15000>
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, Removed one of his own nostrils.
Calvin the Bold Organizer (MM4) 6804 xp <11200>
Serious wound: permanent loss of INT -1
Lenardo the Professor (S4) 6125 xp <xxxx>
Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand
Boris the Dwarven Hero (D4) 9899 xp <17501>
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face
Ramrod the Burglar (T4) 9961 xp +5% <10001>
Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)
Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp
Missing six teeth talks with a lisp
Bunny the Burglar (T4) 8930 xp <10001>
The Henchmen
Mighty Yord the Warrior (B2) 8121 <8125>
Mighty Nord the Slayer (B3) 9034 <16251>
Sloth the Brute (L3) 5144 <8400>
RESERVES
Saffron the Mad fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY4) 16785 <32501>
Elapsed Campaign Time
60 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)
Join us for session twenty-six when we ask the questions:
No treasure and many wounds should we follow them chicks?
Where is the exit? Really where is the exit!?!
Tale of the Tape
Ramrod is beaten by his own hubris. Comatose and burnt, the latter of which was glossed over since he is invisible.
KILLS
Bugbears (14)
Hook horrors (3)
Grotesque Mandrill
Baboons (15)
Vampire spawn eunuchs (3)
Veerdra the Vamp (ESCAPED)
Creyanna the weretigress (ESCAPED)
LOOT
Red amber salamander statue 1”
3 nasty looking scimitars
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