Sunday 19 March 2023

Hobos Meet Knights the Pieces are on the Table (Session 177)

 SESSION 177: The coming of a MurderQueen the Gritty Stuff

           Day 14 (14.21): Cloudy but pleasant. Team Denethix.

            And with the dawn of a new day Wei-fan approached with two friends, no longer of the petrified persuasion know about these lands. “Remember old Wei-fan when you speak with the Knights council today” “But we don’t even have a plan” “Once more the pieces are moving before consideration, stay interesting and we feast once more”, and with that Wei-fan bobbed off gleefully playing his pan flute as he is apt to do. Sloth nearly squeezed the life from Ding-We in his childlike abundance of joy to be reunited. Saff dropped a frog on Bunny and told her she reminded her of a lizard butt. No one had noticed that the sailors had setup a larger offset than normal between their rest area and the hobo camp. They all stunk of two-day old dead troglodyte glandular and other juices. “Gah, I have become one of these pig-pens”, hollered Bunny. “What? All I smell is crushed enemies” “Ugh, what are you?” “A warrior born!” Bunny grabbed Saff and they wandered off in search of a suitable trough to clean up the gang. Saff may be short most of her cards but she was not one to wallow in her own filth like most of the gang.

            It was not much later, much as Wei had intimated, A knight approached dressed in leather rather than the standard heavy armors with long flowing hair the colour of Autumn. She was a beauty and she was Anven daughter of both man and dryad. “Greetings adventurers, I am Anven knight of the basilisk and daughter of Baldicar Ma. Our wizard Hewtim Frid has relayed his discussion with you and that you spent the evening with Wei-fan ambassador of Summer’s End. Today, you will… *sniff*sniff* … once suitably ready, will meet with the council within our keep. Please address your priorities with haste”, she turned and rode off. “Major burn”, “Oh yaaa”, Bunny and Saff high-fived before returning to the background. Washing was had and the gang really did smell much better. Concurrently with that Ding-We spec’d a wash tub with the smithy so that a higher level of hygiene could be maintained. Things were moving into place and our horde may be evolving from simple murderhobo into something else, but first they had to stop offending noses. 

By early afternoon the mob were cleaned and ready to meet Baldicar and the council of knights. To the keep and up to the meeting chamber. A huge table made of ancient wood sat the council. After introductions Baldicar wasted no time getting down to the brass tax. Ding-We and, surprisingly, Bimbles began to paint a picture for the knights of multiple fortresses pushing back the agents of chaos and bringing a new era of civilization to these lands. Baldicar seemed receptive but his council produced questions. The wizard seemed to be a classic skeptic suggesting that reliance on vagabond dreamers was possibly worse than trusting the fair folk, “they could stir up the hornets and then leave us swinging in the wind, they dream of grandeur but thus far show no record”. Anven seemed to prefer the Fae most certainly in part because of her origins but also much like Hewtim acknowledged the history in these lands of her half-folk. “Do we need more coin grubbers congregating around our gates bringing crime and social decay? The fair-folk have always been here, long before any man staked a claim for any long dead king. We live in their shadow and must acknowledge their ancient lands”. Baldicar thought on this, “They have their own lands this is the mortal realm. Daughter, it is true we are bound to them and will protect them but I worry that left unchecked these beings are unpredictable… The beastmen are at our door but does a proliferation of the fair-folk any better for men and the rebuilding of civilization? We have survived for generations here, alone, but can will continue to survive? Slowly being chipped away”. 

Once more Bimbles stepped into the breach, even though he wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of this backwater, “We will tame these lands my friends and allies, trade routes will open with the east of which you are unawares. We will also push south connecting Liwil with the great and mighty Blood River. Let us tame the lands, join us as friends and allies”. Baldicar was swaying but Anven continued to petition that the Fair Folk could be trusted and relied upon. “No daughter they are wild and unpredictable if there is a way for men to restore this land should we not pursue that first?” “And then what? That festering mine camp expands and brings more filth to our very door?” Baldicar weighed his daughter’s words. “There are no easy answers, if you adventurers do succeed at you tasks we will ally with you but until then you are on your own to carve out homes in the belly of the beast”, with that the meeting ended as the hobos were dismissed to the sound of Anven arguing with her father. Pieces were not quite falling into place but they were close. 

Now our hobos were embroiled in the world of local and trans dimensional politics. Things were quickly becoming complicated. They then decided that, for now, the best course of action was to simply keep on doing what they do. One maybe two beast-men enclaves have been eradicated, stay on target and the things will fall into place. They returned to camp, contemplating how the fair-folk will take another group entering the field and possibly cock blocking things. They would not concern themselves, there was a plan to be enacted.   

Day 15 (14.21 – 14.22): Clear.

            With dawn the hobos prepared to commence clearing the lands around Carla’s presumptive fortified monastery. The sailors were happy to hear that they could spend the next week or so not getting killed in the wilds as the hobos took a stab at clearing a ‘hex’. 

            The day started out well enough they encountered some easy going knights on patrol of the boundary of here and there. Once getting there our mob began looking under every rock for sign of monsters to evict. They walked into the first murder alley fortunately the resident mountain lions had other things on their minds. Bimbles was able to communicate with the male whom both had a full belly and just needed some time away from the family even if it was only 30’, new cubs are a pawfull don’t ya know. Bimbles also informed the big cat that men would be returning to the area. The lion was smart enough to get the hint, “Another month the cubs will be big enough to travel and your presence will likely disperse the herd, we will follow the deer”. 

            Early afternoon the gang was once more in the open moving through the lightly treed and grassy hills of the western boundary of Carlaville. This was a great time for manticores to attack, they have been heard on a number of occasions but not encountered in the area. The beasts stayed in the air, it seemed they thought they could well tenderize the hobos with successive waves of missile attacks. It worked for a bit until attrition kicked in laying one of the creatures low. This broke the moral or it decided to live to fight another day and retreated but not before perforating a few more hobos with its tail spikes. They moved on for a couple more hours and established camp for the evening. 

            Being the lucky buggers that they are the night refused to pass by uneventfully. During the final watch a pair of basilisks ambushed the camp. Mayhem broke out and not for the first time two murderhobos looked a little to close. Camillus and Bob were both turned to stone before Ding-We could conjure up an obscuring cloud to limit the petrifying gazes. It was messy but two against ten is not the best of odds. The reptiles were slain, injuries bandaged, weapons cleaned and the two new statues were packed away. Ding-We realized that resolution to the petrification was going to be a challenge as Wei-fan was the only known resource and the previous de-stoning was costly not to mention that them Fae-folk are wild cards at the best of times…

Day 16 (14.22): Bonus micro session Cloudy no precipitation.

            The army was still ten strong and the commitment to clearing the area of lairs urged the group forward. They continued moving north along the grass covered hills of the western hex boundary. They had hoped that they could not possibly encounter more basilisks. As luck would have it they could. While traversing the crest of a grassy hill Bunny caught a flash of a greener green – AHH CRAP! Ding-We knew what this meant and he was not gonna screw around – FIREBALL!!! Die lizards DIE DIE! The no limits method worked. The  collection of hobo statues was not expanded. Bimbles got his jug of water out to manage the lingering fire (don’t want to burn down the whole hex, probably good that winter was coming) and then they moved on. The hills became rockier and an ancient and abandoned slate mine was discovered. After some debate a conclusion was reached – monsters could live here. They plunged into the darkness. 

            The entrance to the mine was a 5’ wide and 8’ tall rectangular shaft cut into a nearly sheer hill face. Dried grasses and small branches littered the floor by the entrance. The walls and ceilings were braced with stout wooden beams every 5’that seemed to have weathered the ages rather well. The shaft ran down into the hill for twenty feet before branching into a “Y”. They went deeper. This branch ran for another 80’ at the same angle of descent as the entry shaft (about 5 degrees) before opening up to a chamber about 10’ square. The walls and floor of this area were lined with large clam-like things blocking free movement to the rest of the passage that dropped into darkness. Returning our focus to the bivalve things Sloth gave one a poke and it squirted acid back at him in response. Of the many things our Hobos hate, acid is high up on the list. Ding-We told the gang to back up and for Bimbles to ready with the jug to help prevent bringing the mine down on their heads, it was fireball time once more. Ka-BOOM! No more acid clams just a whole lot of smoke. Moving through the chamber the shaft continued deeper into the earth at a much steeper angle (45 degrees). This continued for 100’ until the shaft reached a terminus where it leveled out before dead-ending (literally, wait for it) 20’ later. At the bottom of the shaft were the skeletal remains of a human, one Masam Nan, who fell down the shaft over a century ago, broke both his legs, and starved to death in the dark. Nan now haunts this mine shaft as a ghost. Most of the previous stuff is added background. 

What actually occurred is that our Hobos reached the bottom started sniffing around and this triggered the ghost materializing and scaring the crap out of Raul, Biff and Charles specifically. Everyone got freaked out but the noted were so freaked out that not only did they run away they were immediately aged 10 freaking years! Masam Nan a vile piece of work in life consumed by greed and hate whom became a restless spirit that grew more and more insane over its many years as he haunted the his final resting place and his hidden fortune. The latter would be gleefully discovered later. Masam immediately possessed poor dumb Sloth. For a moment Sloth went slack jawed and then his eyes began to glow with an ancient hatred. Bimbles saw that things had already gone past bad and were on the precipice of ‘train-wreck’ (whatever that is). It was time to call down the full power of Spinning Stars! They had the jump on Evil Sloth – “The power of spinning stars compels you!” The entity was cast from Sloth. He collapsed into the ground and the entity fled into the stone wall. Concurrent with this Bunny and Saff had chased after the trio of aged cowards knocking out Biff and Raul before they could run off into the wilds. Charles on the other hand was taken over by Franz whom turned his handler around and charged back down the shaft dead set on obliterating the evil spirit. Concurrent with this, the gang at the bottom were high fiving and chanting “Mission accomplished”. However, it was not done. The ghost had not been moved along to the afterlife it was simply cast out. The lair was not cleared. Franz knew this and used its power of X-ray vision to find where the ghost was twisting in ethereal hate within the stone from which the mine had been carved. Charles/ Franz stood before the wall screaming horrible things that would drive a living creature mad let alone an insane spirit of hate. 

Franz’s challenge was met and the ghost once more came forth with hate. Charles roared and Franz came down upon the entity. This was mission accomplished, Franz cut through the spirit breaking Masam’s connection with the mortal realm he exploded in a gout of protoplasm. “That is how you take care of the vile restless dead”, Franz/ Charles as the sword went back to its scabbard returning self-governance to Charles. 

            Everyone was covered gunk. This did not hinder the great loot search, and great loot was found. Underneath a slab of slate a chest was buried. Inside was Masam’s lifetime of loot and it was glorious. A mountain of platinum coins along with jewelry, a wand and a most extraordinary ring. Time to hose off our slimy hobos before backtracking to the other corridor. 

Team Gormandia (TG): Steve, Carla, Boris, Nara, Dolec, Gurn, Mason, Felix, Wendul, Willy and Sasha along with Brett & Germaine

Team Denethix (TD): Ding-We, Saffron, Rahgnar, Raul, Bunny, Ramrod, Bimbles, Sloth, Biff, Bob, Charles and Camillus


ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 261557 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 226904 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 224140 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 188997 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 200931 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 325124 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT                            

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 415574 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 196181 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 129795 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 142589 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 139558 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 78129 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 90624 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 94524 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 61978 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 44911 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 42360 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 48411 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3) 8749 <8800> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5) 37498 <40000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 26998 xp +10% <32000> CRT 1d16/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  64872 <65001> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T4)  9503<9600>10% CRT 1d12/II

 

RESERVES

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II – He didn’t want to come out of his lamp.

Greymin the Dwarven Hero (D5) 26295 <35000> +5% CRT 1D14/III – Gone Mining (Liwil)

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

422 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Seventy-Eight when we ask the questions:

Can we go a day without encountering basilisks?

Why would people colonize lands ripe with these damn lizards?

What else does this hex have in store for our murderhobos?

What is the life expectancy of a half-orc?

Tale of the Tape

Camillus and Bob got stoned

Exploration

1)    Location hex 14.21: Liwil à14.22 (04008/03007/03006/03005 camp) commencement of clearing

2)    Micro session 14.22 Hex clearing (02006/ 02005/ 03004/ 03003)

KILLS

Mountain lion – parlayed  

Manticores (2) one slain the second escaped 

Basilisks (4)

Jekti (22) 

The ghost of Masam Nan 

LOOT

2000 pp

Silver broach 400 gp

Gold amulet 500 gp

Gold arm ring 1400 gp

Divine ring of spell storing: create water, neut poison, cure disease, speak w/plants

Wand of magic missiles (14 charges)

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