Friday 17 March 2023

Dinner with Goat Legs (Session 176)

 SESSION 176: The Dilemma of Stink-ville

Day 12 (14.22): Continued evening.

            “I thought these things smelled bad when they were alive”, was the consensus as the looting began. With that the A-Team both rummaged the joint and dragged the slimy troglodyte corpses out with them as they made their way back down to the ground floor. Additionally they collected the Stirgi known as Hooterix. Once outside Ding-Dong dialoged with the owl-folk as a number of things went wrong as the remaining outbuildings were inspected. First there was a super ooze and then a couple of the more valuable structures collapsed upon skeezy hobos but nothing to get a DM cheer. With the stable and smokehouse in ruins and not much to show for it beyond an ancient saddle the hobos elected not to see if they could also ruin the forge – “that thing is worth good money! Finishing with the stronghold for the time being our hobos and friend returned to the Rhagnar and his sailors at camp. Hooterix elected to travel with us back to Liwil and wait there for a wing of his folks traders appeared. On the return trip before things went sideways (check the next paragraph if you must) the Stirgi described where his village actually was providing another detail for the map of these still mysterious lands.

Day 13 (14.22 – 14.21): A fine day to travel.

The journey back to Liwil had a complication in the form of two nasty reptilian things with big glowing eyes. “What! I thought it was just a stupid name for a bunch of knights, how the hell lives around these damn things!?”, Bunny having been once turned to stone by a basilisk while crawling around Barrowmaze was not happy. To make it worse the way they moved erratically and a zeal for eating flesh made it very difficult to avoid quick moments of eye contact. Saffron fell to the ground first, luckily not breaking on the grass covered hill. “Little bug-bug!”, was the last thing we heard from Sloth before he too got stoned. The hobos rallied around this turn for the worse and pulverized the two creatures before packing away the two petrified companions. The sailors let out a cheer “None of us died – YAY!”

            The rest of the journey back to Liwil was uneventful. The sailors once more set camp along the outer west wall as their leaders decided it was time to meet the ambassador to the domain of Summers End in Faery - Wei-fan the rotund satyr, representing his countess Lorrandir of the Waning Days. His manse was an ornate yurt stitched from albino deer hides located just outside the walls of Liwil. As our band approached the yurt Wei’s attendants, four maybe not insane pixies really hard to discern most times, flew out to greet. Buzzing around and scolding us for being late to show. “But we never considered it before” “Move before you consider silly stinkers how do you expect to be on time?” “Great now taking life lessons from pocket maniacs”. Entering the yurt it was immediately noticed that it was even bigger on the inside and decorated with a wealth of rugs, tapestries and other fineries. “You almost missed it friends, you are lucky I was distracted by this hefty bottle wine. Come to the back your host Wei-fan is a master chef and he has cultivated an unnatural obsession with the foods of mortal man”. "Behold mortals!" Outside there was a massive and complicated wood-burning cookstove with copious amounts of raw ingredients awaiting the chef’s hand. “I do love hosting those with the potential of being interesting, don’t let me down mortals”.

            Wei-fan cooked our hobos ate as the discussion jump around many topics. There were two of note. First, that of Wei’s mission to strike an alliance between the domain of my Lady and the Knights of the Basilisk. “Beautiful Anven understands that with the beast-men enclaves being so very ripe in these lands the Knights have enough of a struggle protecting their immediate territory and it is only a matter of time until the creatures come for this very City and when it falls so will the interests of my folk. Her maddening father Baldicar lover of fae is an obstinate old fart, always reluctant to get involved beyond bedding the fair Elsael”. 

The second topic was regarding the two petrified hobos. “What would you not prefer to stand them up in some niche to be worn down over the ages until that magic day? No. Well I guess the Knights strange religion isn’t for all. Perhaps I could become interested in conducting a ritual under the moonlight of that waxing moon, it does have secrets to tell if you know how to listen, for it is a bit of a spy you know. How shall we get the moon’s attention I wonder….” Ding-We recognized this point in a conversation it was time for the sacrifice. He also knew he was likely only to have one shot at it and he didn’t have long as the fae are both prone to impulse, seal the deal quick like. Ding-We reached for his pile of gear and brought forth his exquisite staff of wizardry. “Interesting indeed, we have made a bar-goon! Look here moon, we have something to discuss beyond your dry cheese. Ha ha ha!”. 

A short time later. The dinner abruptly ended. “By the first light of dawn! Now off with you and stay interesting”. The band returned to their camp to once more plan the next step and how the heck to get a message to Carla and company regarding the perfectly placed stink fortress.

            

Team Denethix (TD): Ding-We, Saffron, Rahgnar, Raul, Bunny, Ramrod, Bimbles, Sloth, Biff, Bob, Charles and Camillus

Team Gormandia (TG): Steve, Carla, Boris, Nara, Dolec, Gurn, Mason, Felix, Wendul, Willy and Sasha along with Brett & Germaine

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 261557 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C8) 226904 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 224140 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 188997 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 200931 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 325124 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT                            

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 415574 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 196181 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 129795 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 142589 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 139558 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 78129 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 90624 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 94524 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 61978 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 44911 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 42360 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 48411 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3) 8749 <8800> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5) 37498 <40000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 26998 xp +10% <32000> CRT 1d16/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  64872 <65001> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T4)  9503<9600>10% CRT 1d12/II

 

RESERVES

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II – He didn’t want to come out of his lamp.

Greymin the Dwarven Hero (D5) 26295 <35000> +5% CRT 1D14/III – Gone Mining (Liwil)

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

420 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Seventy-Seven when we ask the questions:

How do we let Carla know that she has a new stinky and decrepit stronghold?

Will we be mired in politics as dinner with Wei-Pan has finally given an opening?

How do our hobos fit into the geopolitical landscape of the Basilisk Hills?

When will the damn Worthless Northman longship hit the water?

Tale of the Tape

Location hex 14.22: 04005 (camp) 05004 (trogs) —> 14.21 Liwil

Saffron and Sloth petrified

KILLS

Ork raiding group 750

Nascent ooze (grey) godling 250

Basilisks (2) 1260

LOOT

25 pp

5648 gp

2481 sp

Quartz 50 gp

Platinum circlet 3200 gp

Potion of levitation

Dueling sword +1, +2 to AC (d4 rnds) 1/day

Gold ring set w/rubies: Fire resistance

Dagger +1

Real old magic saddle

Dryad tree – magic principal (3) 1000 gp each

Amethyst (2) 45 gp each 

Gems: 75,1000,100,50,250 =

Silver earring 10 gp

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