Tuesday 7 February 2023

On the Road to Murder(Session 168)

 SESSION 168: Waking Up After a Fae party to Remember

            Whew! What a party with a bunch of little bearded guys and forest critters. When they cut loose only a lunatic fairy named Saffron can win the race. As our party friends melted back into the forest Ding-We declared that the A-Team needed to return to Liwil as he had plans, massive plans. Sure sure. Sasha led the way along with her trusty co-pilots Bunny and Biff.

            They came upon the remnants of what once was an orchard a ½ mile in from the river. “Interesting” mumbled Ding-We, “Delicious” exclaimed Steve with dreams of apples and roasted meat in his mind. The rest of the relatively short trip to Liwil was uneventful. Once there they checked their horses into the stable after a mild scolding for not keeping the hill ponys in tip top shape. Ding-We and Carla visited the alchemist, Saff disappeared to do things she would not reveal and Steve led the rest of the horde fell back to the tavern for repast. Once reunited they sent a message to the Basilisk Knights to request a meeting. It was at this time that the intentions of our newest hobos was determined. Dolec Da and Camillus expressed their commitment to our asylum. However, Greymin had other plans. He was a dwarf through and through full of greed and the burning need to dig. After hearing of the gold deposit in Dry Gulch he knew where he wanted to be. Awhile later they were met by the knight’s mage who agreed to listen to their plans as long as he was plied with the most expensive of spirits. Carla and Ding-We shared their plan to establish a stronghold in the vicinity and their hope of alliance and cooperation. Desmond Von Skripples the Thaumaturgist wished the hobos luck and once they had carved out their chunk of the wilds come on back for further discussion. “That cost more thans it was worths”, mumble slurred Rammer while looking at the empty top shelf bottle of spirits that he did not get enough of. The next morning the gang rode out once more. This time for Helix (where the rest of the tribe were last seen), it had been some time and they expected to have some steep bills to settle. 

            The plan was to travel around the bottom of the mystery lake rather than mucking about with the beastman hordes around the top that Desmond had enlightened the group of. Leaving the hills of the Basilisk region they re-entered the deciduous dominated forest between them and the lands of the Ironguard’s. “Next stop Helix!” gushed Rhags. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves these lands are wild” was Sasha’s response. “Bum-bum” was all Sloth had to contribute but it did earn him an ear rub from Saff and that was good. 

            They made their way through the forest until they began encountering numerous stautues of animals of exceptional qualities. “Shit burgers” – Ding-We. “Rhags are there chisel marks?”, worried Carla. “Nope”. “Sasha! Find a different path!”, yelled Dinger without yelling loud enough to attract any unwanted attention “You got it pop-in-fresh”. The band went hard to the south for a couple of leagues before correcting back to the northeast. 

            Before reaching the bottom of the lake (it actually did not occur until next session) the group faced a pair of challenges. The first was nasty nasty nasty sprites that dropped curse bombs a plenty. The hobos could not defeat sprite humor and so they ran hard to the jeers of turd sized fae. For some time afterwards Bimbles was forced to ride with a 2’ long nose. It was neither easy or pleasant as it kept catching the wind. To make things worse for Bimbles he and his horse fell into a sinkhole later in the day and elicited the attention of a local pack of wolves. At least the weather had been nice. They rode on for another hour after the wolf attack and then camped for the evening. It seems Sasha was right and Rhags now probably owes her a pouch of coins for being wrong. “Don’t count your leagues until they are behind, ya brick”. 

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 259748 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C8) 223988 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 221633 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 186470 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing three teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 198015 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT                            

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 413765 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 193265 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 127288 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 141685 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 76671 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 89166 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 93066 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 26094 xp +10% <32000> CRT 1d16/IV

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  63619 <65001> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)  

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

 

RESERVES

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II – He didn’t want to come out of his lamp.

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

381 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Sixty-Nine when we ask the questions:

Will tomorrow bring us to Helix?

Tale of the Tape

Not my finest hour

KILLS

A Gross of Sprites (we ran away)

Pack of wolves (some dismembered some ran for the hills) 4

LOOT

None

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