SESSION 84: The Gallery (29OCT18)
Continuing to circumnavigate the gallery, we quickly noticed that we were being observed. Drow guards hidden in every nook and cranny. They lit us up with fairy fire but rather than launching an attack we were directed to quit lagging and report for service. We were brought to a chamber.
Auntie Loth wants you to join the Army!
The chamber was full of drow and darkmen with the adjoining chamber full of seriously badass female drow warriors. This should have been a major red flag. But our hobos had not bothered to learn jack shit so far about the denizens and politics of the underworld. Instead of laying waste upon our hobos, Farkwar a darkman recruiter extraordinaire sitting at a desk gestured for us to come over.
“Well mercs your drow masters are ready to let you serve in the war against the vile derro, FOR THE EMPIRE!”
“For the Empire!”, responded the room.
“Fruuu rah Ooh Ooh!”, pack apes are not all that verbal.
Farkwar continued, “Rejoice that we didn’t slaughter you and your families for now you can have a life of adventure and riches in the service of our God Queen Mother Auntie Sister Lolth”. “Sign up here and let your lavish new lifestyle commence” rubbing two fresh silver coins between his fingers and gesturing towards a stack of papers.
It was at this point our herd made it clear that they were not really listening, reading the room, nor had they identified their immediate need. So off down a tangent of me me me me they went. Luckily rather than just cutting down our hobos the underdark beings returned to their previous conversations. Eventually Farkwar returned his attention to our band to see if they had quit with the blah blah and got with the ra-ra-ra and the signing of contracts. We had finally caught on that the evil drow really don’t care about us and that we needed to join the army to get a writ of passage before they got bored and killed is for sport.
"Now get out there and KILL the enemy. For Queen and Cavern!"
Moving on (finally), there were two major tunnels leaving the gallery. North East was chosen. Hey look, an interesting niche! It was home to a 30’ slug molted in appearance and well-hidden on the wall. This niche was also the final resting place of Len-ardo the engineer. Len’s flesh gave way after two acidic volleys of slug vomit. The reaction was most unexpected as Len and all of his belongings began to render down into an amorphous blob of eyes and mouths. They/he/it screamed hundreds of words that created a rising cacophony of jibber-jabber. Bimbles, having the magical water jug in hand let loose with a deluge upon gooey Len blasting gunk and bits all over the place. Len was gone. Quite literally.
No bits no funeral, we made our way north east for about a day. It was a cavern collapse that really ruined that day. We back tracked to the gallery and made for the North-West passageway. The drow guards were cryptically helpful. Bunny fell through an illusionary wall and discovered a runic labyrinth. It had a sign suggesting that trespassers would be subjected to unpleasantness. This did not immediately stop our group, “We have different and better intentions, they/it/whatever will most certainly want to talk to us”. So after banging at a couple of doors we busted our way in. It was decorated in a most worrisome manner, even more so than the exterior maze. Our group turned back at the last possible second…
Back in the central cavern there were two side chambers immediately prior to the primary tunnel. The first was a stable for a bunch of riding lizards the second was home to a gnarly bunch of margoyles. They were very happy to play death from above with us. We smartly ran away. Sometime later our march was interrupted by the sound of many feet running towards us. It turned out to be an off leash ghastly skirmishers berserker crew. The matter quickly become very hairy. These ghouls and ghasts were brutal and came close to eating the lot of us but our perseverance won through. We collapsed in exhaustion thankful to still be alive.
ROLECALL
Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 86870 xp +10% <100001> CRT 1d10/III
Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm
Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 84706 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d10/III
Hobo Steve the Champion (F7) 83044 xp +5% <120,001> CRT 1d20/IV
Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)
Raul the Ranger (MD6) 44037 xp <50000> CRT 1d10/III
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4,
Removed one of his own nostrils.
Boris the Dwarven Champion (D7) 89986 xp +10% <140001> CRT 1d16/IV
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face
Injury: lost 6 teeth
Lenardo the Engineer (S7) 73757 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d8/I
Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand
Light wound: permanent loss of eight teeth
Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 67670 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d8/I
Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated
Bunny the Sharper (T7) 74468 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d16/II
Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand
The Henchmen
Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 34935 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d14/ III
Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 87523 <130001> CRT 1d10/III
Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen
Sloth the Roughneck (L6) 39993 <xxxx> CRT 1d16/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)
Sasha Plasha the Guide (R6) 37133 xp +10% <50000> CRT 1d10/III
RESERVES
Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II
Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)
Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp
Missing six teeth talks with a lisp
Being cloned 45 days COMPLETED!?!
Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 54462 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V
Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)
Critical Wound:
REMAINING RECUPERATION: 0 DAYS
Elapsed Campaign Time
196 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)
Join us for session Eighty-five when we ask the questions:
Are we going the right way?
Is there a right way?
Now that we have joined the army where is the enemy?
What does the enemy look like?
Why can’t we go home?
What will be the outcome of Carla speaking to I’thaqua?
Why is it getting colder?
Tale of the Tape
Poor Lenny melted into goo and then washed away
KILLS
Giant Slug
Margoyles – we ran away
Ghastly Skirmishers Berserker Crew (off leash and outtahand)
LOOT
hahahahahahahahahaha
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