Loot the Hag (Session 203)

 SESSION 203: Stupid Hag had Jack Shit for Loot!

Returning to Dread Ethel’s sub-hex in search of loot to cover the grievous expense of exploration. Nearly recreate previous death-fest in the subhex.

Day 101 Clear (12.19-0704/0604/0603/0503/0504): Working the safe(r) side of the river the lost remnants of a plantation are discovered. Stone foundations a portion of a chimney and the footings of a lost bridge across the river. Ginseng was growing wild throughout the area along with hogs, the presumable legacy of the area. Shortly after they waded into an area showing extensive defoliation. Three swarms of locust were present in a state of rest post devastating gluttony. Entering the area was enough to rally the insects that did their swarmy thing at our delicious desert hobos. Things were on the sloppy side until fire was utilized to address the insects. 

Later in the day, just in time for an early camp the future site of Bunny’s spa retreat was discovered a hot spring. Strangely enough this rather relaxing site was not all that far from the river bank directly across from the accursed ‘frog god statue’ camp. This evening was relaxing and without occurrence.

Day 102 Clear (12.19-0504/0405): This morning the now cleaned up and refreshed crew used the folding boat to cross the river. It was time to make sure that Dread Ethel’s hex was clear and that all loot was in the care of our hobos. 

Ethel’s cottage was a little piece of hell. The stink of malevolence and death was thick. The exterior walls were covered in the drying skins of innumerable species including assorted humanoids. Inside it got worse. A sickly wetness. Tables and selves stacked with organs and meat, some in containers some just seeping fluid. Ethel’s horde it seems was viscera. What little was obviously circumstantial to her as it was strewn about haphazardly as she sought out what she treasured. That said, there was coin a potion and a cloak that after some experimentation allowed one to fly. Even though it did not really fit her ensemble Bunny felt she could work with it. They pressed one of the myriad pathways that extended from the hut like a spider’s legs.

Speaking of spiders. The trail led the gang to the lair of a bunch of large (8’) black spiders. We have had no shortage of arachnids in our travels but these were new. They phased in and out of existence returning just before attacking and then disappearing again. Oh and their bites were deadly. The group were lucky enough to have a quantity of neutralize poison elixirs that they successfully administered with haste. If they had failed to do such Carla, Arbuckle and Gurn would have had their insides turned to goop. The reward for dodging death thrice and killing even more minions of Dread Ethel was a big fat donut unless dried wildlife floats your boat. The gaggle cleaned their weapons, applied bandages and gave the three poison victims fifteen to get back on their feet before pressing on.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 263154 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 240055 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 248629 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 197250 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 211197 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 331087 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 425762 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 216716 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 147234 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 156517 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 156159 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 93369 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 100041 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 115993 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 53829 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 53085 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 19289 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 42429 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 37905 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  70711 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  16031<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

Boris serious wound (lost eye), incapacitated for 14 days

Sloth incapacitated for 12 days. 

Sasha recovering from death 14 days

Dolec recovering from death 14 days

See petrification tracking below.

Elapsed Campaign Time

549 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Four when we ask the questions:

Tale of the Tape

Carla, Gurn and Arbuckle narrowly avoided death by poison.

Camillus, Bob, Charles and Felix continue to be lawn ornaments for the Basilisk Knights.

Carla is overseeing the construction (along with Brett & Germaine) at Greenland

Bimbles, Rhagnar and Gurn have returned to Liwil to consult with Ding-We regarding the giants.

The now Lordly Steve, along with Bunny and Saffron, is overseeing construction at the Gormandia ferry. At least that is what the foreman tells him.

Ding-We and the other nerds enter a second round of furiously brewing enough potions to resolve the above problem.

 

Exploration

Location hex: 12.19à12.20

KILLS

Insect Swarms 

Phase Spiders (6) 

LOOT

2800 gp

30 pp

Cloak of Flight

Potion: Gaseous Form

Murder Respite (Session 202)

 SESSION 202: Scrambled Eggs

There is no place like home. The run for the ferry, the convergence of holy powers and a return to hex clearing on the safer side of the Blood River. A chance encounter creates business.

Day 94 Clear (12.19-0504à12.20-0704): The night had been a catastrophe. Three hobos were brought low. Boris was brought back from the brink but Sasha and Dolec were not so lucky. They were now cold and most certainly deceased. The real dead were bagged and the mostly (Boris) and nearly (Sloth) dead were affixed to stretchers and the gang made a run for the Gormandia ferry. 

            Travellers fortune. The forest held its breath this morning as all creatures could sense that something had happened the previous evening but the outcome was currently unknown. It was safer to lay low until the carrion crows report. Our gang used this opportunity and ran, as best they could. They made it back to the ferry.

Day 95 - 98 Mixed (12.20-0704): Four days were spent rallying the forces and putting the injured to bed and the dead on ice. Sloth’s recovery time had taken a serious setback and would be bedridden for longer than originally expected. Carla was sent for and Bimbles dug out his holy jump suit, they would be calling down direct links with their deities to bring life back to the mutilated corpses of Sasha and Dolec. A few days later upon makeshift altars the two high clerics instilled the bodies with radiant light. Their systems were able to handle the shock of being ripped back from the afterlife. They were breathing and hemorrhaging as their bodies were still broken. One cannot heal a body which is dead. The clerics and their assistants leapt to immediate action applying ointments and salves along with healing magic. Dolec and Sasha would recover in time but would forever be a little weaker (Day 97). Now exhausted the two high clerics also rested for a day.

Day 99 Clear (12.20-07.04à12.19/0608/0707/0607/0706/0806): The away team was once more reconfigured to account for the stoned, injured and required oversight of construction operations. After which it was right back to clearing the adjacent lands of monsters. It seems that with the defeat of Dread Ethel the wilds were quiet beyond the occasional call of a raven and the passing of deer. They did have an unexpected encounter. Belzonock a merchant trading ‘high quality household goods’, “because that is what folks need in the wilderness to be civilized folk”. He drove a horse drawn covered wagon escorted by two knights. The gang joined him at his fire for repast and Belzonock’s sales pitch. He was traveling SW looking for lost trade routes and forgotten communities. Our gang looked at his wares and it was decided that he could be a useful asset in the building of the MuderHobo empire. They committed to buying all his wares and put him on retainer with the goal of having Belzonock establishing a trade network. All parties were happy and the deal was sealed. The next morning they gave the merchant directions to the Greenland. The two groups parted. Back to work.

Day 100 Clear (12.19-0806/0705/0606/0605/0704/0708/0704): A whole bunch of hex clearing with nary an obstacle.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 263154 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 240055 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 248629 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 197250 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 211197 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 331087 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 425762 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 216716 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 147234 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 156517 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 156159 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 93369 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 100041 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 115993 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 53829 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 53085 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 19289 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 42429 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 37905 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  70711 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  16031<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

Boris serious wound, incapacitated for 2 weeks

Sloth incapacitated for 12 days. 

See petrification tracking below.

Elapsed Campaign Time

543 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Three when we ask the questions:

Did we defeat the forces of the wicked hag?

How the heck does this Belzonock guy survive with only two guards in the wilds?

Can the merchant be the first piece in establishing a trade route?

Tale of the Tape

·      Camillus, Bob, Charles and Felix continue to be lawn ornaments for the Basilisk Knights.

·      Carla is overseeing the construction (along with Brett & Germaine) at Greenland

·      Bimbles, Rhagnar and Gurn have returned to Liwil to consult with Ding-We regarding the giants.

·      The now Lordly Steve, along with Bunny and Saffron, is overseeing construction at the Gormandia ferry. At least that is what the foreman tells him.

·      Ding-We and the other nerds enter a second round of furiously brewing enough potions to resolve the above problem.

 

Exploration

Location hex: 12.19à12.20à12.19

KILLS

None

LOOT

None

Something Wicked: Dread Ethel Matron of Murder (Session 201)

 SESSION 201: Fly You Fools!

There would not be any respite, the night would hold terrors and misery.

Day 93 continued – Unusual Mist (12.19-0504/): Camp was set and guards were as eagle-eyed as possible with the tendrils of the unusual mist swirling just outside the influence of the fire. It was the dead of night, that wicked pre-dawn time that a sorrowful melody drifted into the camp. Beguiling Ramrod. He stood up and began to walk towards the forest. Sasha ran up to him trying to stop him. He lashed out and she stepped away uncertain what to do next. What followed was a growing conga line (Rammer, Boris, Sloth) of mesmerized hobos lumbering into the forest towards doom. Doom I say! Strangely this was not enough for the group for them to wake Mason and Nara. The mistakes were mounting and then a portion of the beguiling singers dropped from the darkness to protect their prizes. Harpies they were. The attack gave the lead harpy, whom was still somewhere within the canopy of the wretched forest, time to lure our dumb hobos into the forest. Sasha, Biff and Dolec followed after dispatching the attacking harpies they were greeted by a pair of charging stag-men. Dolec was eviscerated and was dead before he hit the ground. This was all part of a larger and devious lair things were only going to go further downhill from here. 

            The next to fall was Sasha, beaten into the ground by a flesh golem. This was after another ambush trap by two giant rattlesnakes, an ewok like log smash and an exploding fire bomb. The golem was the first of two heralds of the dark force that made this twisted stand her lair – Dread Ethel Bonechewer was a bhannog. She was a hag-like giantess wrapped in rags that may actual have been made of human flesh, dried faces contorted in eternal agony still moaning as their spirits must still be trapped.  Gnarled, hateful and powerful she was, immediately liquifying the earth underneath the hobos making escape impossible. This was a fight to the death and we had already lost two. Boris used his ring of jumping to escape the muck but it put him on top of Dread Ethel. Boris was outmatched in his already injured state. He traded blows for the briefest of moments until Dread Ethel’s wicked claws raked his face removing an eye that she gobbled back while tossing aside his now limp body as a geyser of blood bathed her as it exploded from Boris’s now empty socket. Boris was mostly dead. Most certain to be fully dead if he did not receive healing immediately. Concurrent with this Nara was able to break the harpy grasp on Sloth and he entered the fray bringing down the first golem just in time for the second to show up. Dread Ethel then released a multi-fork strike of lightning bringing even more hobos within death’s reach. It is darkest just before the dawn but now the first rays of light broke through the canopy and just perhaps something was casting its light upon our hobos. They surged, as their lives did depend on it. Nara used her powers to unleash a devastating series of explosions to rip through the golem while Sloth carved off chunks of meat with his mighty blade. Biff and Mason swung into Dread Ethel with wild abandon almost blinded by the viscera and gore flying from both themselves and the hag. Then it was over. 

            Dolec and sasha were dead. Boris stabilized at death’s door. Sloth collapsed on the ground as the magicks that kept him standing faded, once more remembering that his body was already a burnt mess from the previous encounter with the stagmen shaman. They were smart enough to realize that one more surprise would be the end of them all. They crawled back to the wretched campsite of the Frog-God idol and prepared stretchers to make the immediate run for the Gormandia ferry. They prayed for no hinderances.

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 263154 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 240055 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 248629 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

            Touched from Beyond the Grave (Sloth): Eating disorder (x2 food) -5’ mve

            Blessing of Orcus (Consumption -1 CON)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 197250 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 211197 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 331087 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT                               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 425762 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 216716 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 147234 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 156517 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 156159 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 93369 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 100041 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R8) 115993 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 53829 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 53085 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D4) 19289 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 42429 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 37905 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F7)  70711 <120001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T5)  16031<20000>10% CRT 1d14/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks Extraordinaire 

 

RESERVES

Boris serious wound, incapacitated for 2 weeks

Sloth incapacitated for 4 days. 

See petrification tracking below.

Elapsed Campaign Time

542 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Two when we ask the questions:

What the Hell just happened?

Tale of the Tape

Dolec Da sliced into pieces from Stagmen halberd.

Sasha mashed into paste by flesh golem

Boris had an eye clawed out by the giant hag as he shook hands with death

The damn evil stag shaman roasted Sloth in his armour like a lobster in a pot.

Camillus, Bob, Charles and Felix continue to be lawn ornaments for the Basilisk Knights.

Carla is overseeing the construction (along with Brett & Germaine) at Greenland

Bimbles, Rhagnar and Gurn have returned to Liwil to consult with Ding-We regarding the giants.

The now Lordly Steve, along with Bunny and Saffron, is overseeing construction at the Gormandia ferry. At least that is what the foreman tells him.

Ding-We and the other nerds enter a second round of furiously brewing enough potions to resolve the above problem.

 

Exploration

Location hex: 12.19

KILLS

Antlerin (2)

Flesh Golems (2)

Bhannog

Giant rattlesnakes (2)

LOOT

nothing