Missing Sequences

Sunday, 4 December 2022

Meat Pounding Murderers (SESSION 155)

SESSION 155: Scavengers of the Ruins

Finishing up in the spider infested laboratory our hobos stepped back into the roadway. A number of interesting choices were presented: back to the forest, mold/fungus covered buildings or a couple of laneways. Biff and Bimbles seemed a little too interested in going back to the forest and the fungi building seemed to obviously be hazardous to one’s health and so we took a laneway. Ahead beyond a few more non-descript buildings were two structures of interest. A cylindrical tower with a weathered stone path encircling to the top. Further along was golden coloured pyramid that had a gleaming top, like some sort of beacon in the purple gloom. Our group decided to continue looting the general ruins since things had been rewarding thus far.

The first building led us right back into the weird. Inside the ancient ruin, motes of magical energy drifted through the hazy air. Through which could be seen the perfectly the preserved forms of majestic dark-skinned men with scarab beetles for heads (C. Campbell). The motes appeared to be avoidable so our crew entered. Unfortunately the whole of the ruin was a stasis chamber and we just broke the spell. The beetle-heads had long since gone insane and attacked with berserker rage. The gruesome visage of these things was too sickening for some of our more sensible hobos causing them to collapse in a petrified state. Nara was one of them, when she finally regained control of her body with a little help from Bimbles she attempted to mentally assail one of the creatures and got her second shock – they too had mind powers! She was now trapped in a psionic battle with something that had a brainscape that was like swinging through a lake of maggots. While this was going on the battle raged for a while longer until the hobos were able to dispatch the three abominations. They were rewarded with some exquisite gems and a masterwork chess set. Ding-We was feeling good the loot just kept rolling in and nobody had died for at least a couple of days. The pack away the loot, cleaned up and then pressed on.

The next two structures presented no loot but the third was a long forgotten torture chamber and residence for the creep that once ran the operation. Steve and Rhags entered the chamber a little to cavalier for their own good. A scythe trap was triggered and both enjoyed a mighty lacerating. In fact the blade ended up being embedded in Steve’s side. “I sprung a leak!”. The clerics went to work to staunch the copious bleeding. Afterwards, we got a look at the torture chamber. There was a spiked chair upon which sat a long since desiccated corpse. On the other side of the chamber hung a cage with more corpses inside. At the back of the chamber was a living area, table, chair and bed. Throughout this room there were further destroyed and dried corpses littering the floor. An odd decorating choice but the world is full of weird shit. The horde rolled into the structure, now that the trap had been sprung, and began searching for the loot.

There were two stone chests underneath the bed. Bunny poked one with a stick. This triggered the next hazard. The desiccated corpses began to get juicy and then rapidly began to congeal into the horrendous and disgusting proto-giant. This 12’ corpse amalgam came together swinging no talk all fight and fight it had. Bareknuckle mayhem it presented until it was cut down, chunk by chunk. The hobos did not have much time to catch their breath as seconds after the fight completed a patrol of Optics ran past the door. They were carrying a humanoid with an eye for a head on a stretcher clearly injured. Hide or fight? Ambush made the fight choice an even better option. The hobos got the jump on the Optics but these construct like things are somewhat indifferent to pain and suffering. The first blow was potent with flame blasting down from the heavens and then a bolt of electricity but even with the tenderization we still had to work for the win.

Falling back into the torture chamber we went back to the search for shiny shiny loot and tore apart the ruin. One of the aforementioned stone chests was packed full of the golden currency of the forgotten masters of this city. The other chest held a stack of scrolls, upon which sat an interesting ring with a large strange white gem. Perhaps more interestingly, wrapped and hidden inside the mattress of the bed there was a bladed weapon. Raul picked it up and unwrapped the treasure. Inside was broadsword of ancient craft, Raul gave it a swing in the air. “What’s up bitches!?! I am Fezzi-Gig and I have not laid down bloody vengeance upon the wicked spell casters of Cyfandir in ages! Kill kill kill! revenge for their wicked ways! PS I also hate regenerators they are one step away from being serpent-men and those vile Kephri!” Listening to Fezzi-Gig actually speak was both creepy and tiring. Raul tried to settle it down so the hobos could get a bit of a rest before pressing on.

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 241057 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C8) 205297 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 202942 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 167779 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 179324 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4,

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 395074 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 174574 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 108597 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY6) 125341 xp <130001> CRT 1d10/III

Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P6) 64377 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 79822 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 83722 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F4) 15150 xp +10% <16000> CRT XXXX

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6) 54275 <65001> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

REMAINING RECUPERATION: 0 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)

Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

REMAINING RECUPERATION: 4 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

Elapsed Campaign Time

339 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Fifty-Six when we ask the questions:

Where do we go next?

Do we search out the eye boss?

Will B&B sneak off back into the forest for a rendezvous?

What is in the pyramid?

What is in the topless tower?

What? What? What?

Tale of the Tape

No death, no fun..

KILLS

Kephri (3)

Optic Patrol: Footmen (10), Sergeant (2), Quintesson

Proto-creature giant

LOOT

Fezzi-Gig the raucous broadsword of spell caster poking
2 facet-cut imperial topaz (4,000gp each)
1 flawless diamond (4,000gp)
A game board with 10 pieces, made of alabaster and jet, each piece set with jeweled eyes. (1,000 each or 15,000 for the set, 2 st for the game board and 1 st for the pieces)
10,000 gp
Ring of Invisibility
Scrolls (6)

Thursday, 1 December 2022

Tower Weirdos (SESSION 154)

SESSION 154: Hanging with Kokomoe, the petty god of Libraries and appropriate behaviour when inside libraries as well as some other strange folk.

Spending the better part of a day in Kokomoe’s library was very rewarding even for the marginally literate in our group – Hi Steve ook ook! The clerics and magicians came out with a wild assortment of magical formulae and the rest of the gang gained knowledge of things like glamping, stew seasoning, psionics makes for dangerous brain farts, the stars over head when you are not suffering a Chthonic incursion, metals that make you fly, better living through vivomancy and better question asking reveals more traps . However this had now been a long day. It was decided full retreat to base was in order. Our little creeps deeked and dodged their way back to the gates and went “wee wee wee” all the way back to camp.

The horses seemed to be doing fine so rest and repast it was. During this time Ding-We remembered that there was an unexplored passage near the mummy lords crypt.

“We will get that in the morning”

“We have a better idea” Carla noted, “Bimbles and I believe that Camillus carries the burden of extreme torture and we will be conducting a ritual to see if we can erase the evident physical trauma”

With the coming of morning the clerics proceeded with the ritual to call down divine healing from TMB. It didn’t take Carla long to connect with above and began petitioning her deity. The unfathomable entity considered the petition and demanded a substantive sacrifice to prove the depth of her intent. Carla proffered a gnarled staff and a deck of cards. This amused TMB, powerful indeed maybe not a true loss but very powerful. I accept your offering my high priestess. Carla felt a wellspring of power and completed the ritual. Before our very eyes Camillus was reinflated with vigour. “TMB fuck ya!” hollered Camillus, “I now kick ass for the TMB”. The ritual notably fatigue the clerics so the resting continued for a few hours before they eventually set out to inspect the forgotten passage.

It was simply just another death trap that Rhagnar foiled. Moving on. Back up to the stronghold.

The day began with things being quiet and ruined in the city so we moved back towards pervy forest. Biff and Bimbles tried to hide their salacious grins. Instead of finding fuckable plants we found a tower. "A strange glass tower reaches up into the dim mauve sky of the cavern, surrounded by alien plants on every side. The blurry shapes of humanoids are just visible through the glass". In a change of procedures Ding-We elected that we knock at the door. We were greeted by a featureless hominid like creature and we were beckoned in. A wizard siting in a chair before a fire greeted us, “come in hobos and tell me of your adventures”. “Yay, looters in our tower”, came another voice from off to the side. We were welcomed and offered repast in exchange for stories from the wizard. The voice from the side ended up being a knock out red-woman with large bat-like wings. The hobos were more than a little unnerved but still smartly decided to play things cool. This was for the best as it was not long until an efreet entered from an upper floor. These three beings really did not look like they should be trifled with. The demoness and efreet were not all that interested in us, perhaps for the better. The wizard, and clear boss, revelled in the hobo stories laughing and seeking further depth in our stories. The day wore on and we were offered safe haven for a cycle. With some hesitancy the offer was accepted. Our hobos had the best rest in weeks.

Back to exploring. Notable structures could be seen to the unexplored NE. First it was nothing but a bunch of ruins until a spider infested laboratory was found and subsequently looted. We moved on ever closer to the end of this.

ROLECALL

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 232566 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 191806 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 188737 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 153574 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 170833xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4,

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 386513 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T8) 218369 xp <160001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 94392 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II

Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY6) 153241 xp <130001> CRT 1d10/III

Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P6) 77277 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 72722 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 77697 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III

Dolec Da the Hero (F4) 9125 xp +10% <16000> CRT XXXX

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6) 49000 <65001> +5% CRT XXXX

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)

Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

REMAINING RECUPERATION: 3 DAYS

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)

Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

REMAINING RECUPERATION: 8 DAYS

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1

Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

Elapsed Campaign Time

335 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)

Tale of the Tape

KILLS

Giant black widows (8) 640

LOOT

The KNOWLEGDE of the ANCIENTS!!!

6 pink crystal perfume vials of rare and ethereal scent (100gp each)

6 aquamarines (500gp each)

In total, the treasure in this cavern has a value of 3,600gp and a weight of 0 st.

Sunday, 27 November 2022

Books for Murder, Murder for Books? (Session 153)

SESSION 153: The Fabled Lost City of XXXX(?)

Back to looting the nameless city, not to be mistaken with the Nameless City we already been there done that. What occurred next being a series of strange and deadly encounters and locations of this forgotten place.

The day started slow, everything was quiet and ruined. Then we discovered a mouldy furniture storage building. After sending our two tanks in to deal with what had been confirmed to be a deadly mould the rest of the group were attacked by rampaging giant crocodiles. How is this possible you ask? I don’t know, this place is mad. Finishing up with the reptiles and trying to get back to our looting a commotion was noted around a corner in our proximity.

It ended up being a gaggle of heavily armored white gorillas fighting those strange scarecrow like beings known as Optics. The apes were under pressure from the Optics. We knew that the Optics are all about assimilating all other beings and we don’t float with that sorta commie crap so the hobos elected to give the apes a helping fireball and such. The tide was turned and it didn’t take too much for the apes to clean things up. They acknowledged our assistance and showed us the grudging respect of warriors. After which they provided us with some more information regarding themselves and the forces of the Occulus. We then offered then some fresh crocodile and went back to our looting.

As we were planning out what direction to move next our thieves caught sight of a truly monstrous wolf creature with burning eyes sitting on top of a building watching our lurkings. It locked gaze with little miss ‘sticky fingers’ and then in one mighty leap disappeared from vision. Ahhhhhhh, that was a serious woof but like good hobos our team would not stop exploring. More weird stuff followed.

A tree grew from one ruined building and it seemed to home the sickening and bizarre Hell Wasps. Picture a wasp the size of a dog with the head of a malignant old man that were surrounding in a vile stench. What made it worse was that they could see our invisible sneaks. This caused a swarming. We ran. Hell only knows what an angry bunch of those things may result in.

After running a little ways around a corner the searching recommenced. It was a series of ruined structures until an intact library was discovered. Stepping in we were berated by a 12’ owl wearing a very fancy pair of boots. This was Kokomoe, some sort of very lesser or petty godlike entity, and he was steward of this place. The entity made it clear that we were being watched (for those reading along, poor souls that you are, the previous bit of bold was not written by C. Campbell I just bolded that bit in hopes of dropping a keen sense of foreboding do ya feel it?) and we could freely use the library as long as the rules were followed. Kokomoe pulled out a pointer and went down a list posted prominently on the wall. "Failure to uphold these regulations will result in permanent banishment", the Owl stated as it came to a close. Sheathing their weapons and removing their helmets our crew went exploring. This was a library of formulas and lost knowledge. If you wanted to make it there was a recipe for you. Our murderhobos went to work. Steve was directed to the childrens section. Saffron got to work on pestering the silly bird that cold not even bother to wear cool boots.