Lost Files (Sessions 135 - 139)

 Another hole (one might call it a Missing Sequence..) in the history of MurderHobos Incorporated. Maybe we were playing fast and furious with sessions piling on and the recaps required a little more than a 'one pass and done'. Maybe it was the result of some undigested bit of potato? It would explain the night terrors.

Anyhow, instead of our normal poorly written recaps we will now receive a serving of ultra short and yet still poorly written recaps for the five noted sessions.

SESSION 135: Operation Faction Annihilation: The Gargoyles 

    Using the clues received from Xxaxik the band moved east and then south to penetrate the gargoyle faction's lair. What followed was wholesale slaughter of the gargoyle clan and the liberation of a young wizard.

Elapsed Campaign Time

298 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Six when we ask the questions:

Tale of the Tape

This time it was Sloth who lost teeth (-3), everyone wants to be like Boris it would seem.

Saved a wizard named Wendul (MU5)

SESSION 136: Noodling Around the Maze within the Maze

    After running around and through hand between labyrinthine ant tunnels that led to them battling more insidious undead things they did recover a book most foul in the minds of the risen dead but was a big win for those interested in lawful wisdom. The then gang decided to mix things up. They returned to the surface and cracked open another barrow mound. It was a chamber of heads, slightly decayed but magic heads. They fiddled with them had some fun and some retching - so you know it was a party. Afterwards returning to Helix to empty their sacks and recover.

Elapsed Campaign Time

298 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Seven when we ask the questions:

Tale of the Tape

Ding-We drained of vital life force -20,000 xp

Rahgnar lost some more of his chicklets - knocked out -8 (more) teeth

SESSION 137: Even More Looting in the Tomb of Tombs

After creeping even deeper into Barrowmaze and the obligatory smiting of a variety of undead and another piece of the Palanthus artifact was discovered - The Couter! Carla quickly slipped on the elbow guards immediately being filled with even more Power of Palanthus! 

Elapsed Campaign Time

305 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Eight when we ask the questions:

What evil lurks, beyond the next corner?

Tale of the Tape

SESSION 138: Clearing Out the Troll Warren

Plunging into the labyrinthine tunnels of the trolls our hobos go up against wave after wave of gruesome green regenerators. They won albeit being left in rough shape. They drained the resource pool to get the group back up on their feet and made a run for Helix.

They were not so lucky on the dash back to base. Moving at double time signs (spore and such) was missed and they ran straight into a swamp hydra. This gross green beast not only grew new heads but gobbed gross globs of acidic gunk. Steve's armour was diminished along with other more mundane items being utterly destroyed. They persevered and brought the creature down once more facing death's door. They gutted the beast while the most injured were bandaged and then ran hard, another encounter would be doom. The god's were satisfied and they made it back to Helix whole.

Elapsed Campaign Time

305 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Nine when we ask the questions:

Tale of the Tape

Carla sat down with the book of Lawful Wisdom

KILLS

Swamp Hydra (8H) 800

Trolls (17) 16660

SESSION 139: Death to Moo

    Today our gang finally grow tired of pretending to be cultists to pass the Minoton. First they warmed up with some wandering dead, JuJus and a groaning spirit. Returning to Octagon of the Minoton, the hobos strode in devoid of Setanical adornments. The mighty metal moo activated instantly raising its humorous axe and stepping into our hobos. It swung. The axe cut through the entirety of the front line - game on! Magicks came up short, this would be a game of brute force. Fortunately the tanks had all prepared and were extra heroic along with a few other choice buffs. Not often can a singular entity stand against a horde but the Mighty Minoton did. Until that crucial juncture in every glorious battle - turn the tide or die. The hobos did such gaining the advantage they made one last desperate push. They toppled the goliath hitting the ground with a thunderous clap. It moved not. Victory, the hobos once more avoiding death. The clerics were most certainly needed though, they rushed in and went about their business.

Afterwards, the gang were feeling mighty and so they pressed on chopping a further horde of undead and liberating a glorious mountain of lost wealth. Just another day in Barrowmaze!

Elapsed Campaign Time

315 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

KILLS

JuJu Zombies (6) 

Groaning Spirit 

The Minoton! 

Ghouls (12) 

Mummies (3) 

Daughter of Gaxx 

Ravenous Zombies (24) 

LOOT

2274 sp

1720 gp

Gold Death Masks (6) 600 gp each

Silver funerary figures (6) 500 gp each

+1 Chainmail

Electrum Bracers (550gp), Ivory Cloak Clasp (600gp), Scabbard inlaid with Silver (800gp), Silver Belt Buckle inlaid with Jade (900gp), Gold Bracelet (1,000gp), Platinum Circlet with Sapphires (1,000gp), and a Gold Necklace with Emeralds (2,000gp) 

Gold Nose Ring (60gp)

Sealed metal box with Satin Nightshirt (125gp)

Warhammer +3 (head only, 7,500gp to repair) 

Murder Pudding - Gack! (Session 134)

 SESSION 134: Digging Around the Dungeon

            Working our way out of our hidey hole the group returned to the entry hub of this sector of crypts. Opposite of the way we originally went there was another door that led to another octagonal chamber. This time there was only a singular corridor that had an offshoot and a bricked up passage. Went for destruction first and bashed our way into the first of three identical crypts. Killer moss, pudding mayhem, mummy malevolence and not much in the treasure department was the outcome. There was a bone scarab that was argued about but did eventually ended up in Carla’s super-secret sack along with two sets of sealed canopic jars that appeared to have intact contents, these materials will allow us to make much needed potions. It is probably also worth noting that Bunny had her favourite environmental jumpsuit disintegrated by the brown pudding. Leaving her naked, rashy and pissed off. This did provide our pervy-weirdo dwarves a chance to fill in the blanks of their mental picture libraries. Saffron also used this opportunity to point out that we now had a green, purple and a red rash girl. Successfully leaving Bunny even more pissed, it was an early victory for our mad fairy queen.

            Back tracking from these crypts the offshoot corridor was taken. Bunny, still off her game and not really doing her job, fell into a pit full of ghouls. Fortunately she was able to catch herself with Tenkar’s rod on the mouth of the pit and then pulled some acrobatics to end up on the far side before being torn to shreds. Oil and fire started a roaring bonfire of rancid meat. Moving along we came to a junction going east and west. To the east it appeared that a collapse had filled the passage. We could have just gone west but the hobos go where they want and they wanted to dig their way through. Out came the tools and sarcophagus lids were brought from the previous crypts to use as shoring. The first push confirmed that a collapse had occurred. The crushed bodies of former looters really was telling. These ‘guys’ look to have made a score shortly before their untimely deaths, a bunch of wonderous jewelry of ancient origin. This was sufficient motivation to keep in digging. Awhile later and after an assault by ravenous zombies the troupe came out the other side – a corridor! It quickly became apparent we had been here before… bugger! 

            Reviewing the maps it appeared that we were not all that far from the possible gargoyle zone. Backtracking to the general area, the hobos decided to explore west rather than jumping back into the crypt where the creatures had been encountered. They discovered a large octagonal chamber supported by four central pillars that were decorated with stone gargoyles of all shapes and sizes. There was also six crypt entries but we didn’t get to them, our suspicion of actual hidden gargoyles among the stone gargoyles was accurate. Hidden in here was the brutish Xxaxik and his henchmen. He saw a use for our hobos. Speaking from somewhere in the darkness Xxaxik attempted to recruit us to assist with the destruction of his rival. Most importantly in exchange for the others group’s treasure horde. We listened to his tusky talk for a bit and then Ding-We blasted the chamber with a fireball. “Boring conversation anyway”. This toasted some of Xxaxik’s flunkies and then he and he remainder blitzed out of the chamber talking another corridor on the far side. It is fair to say, ‘and we never saw them again’. The hobos moved into the chamber to do an assessment.

There was six sealed crypts. What wonders could they hold?

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Matriarch of TMB (C8) 115775 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 159015 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 155946 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Champion (D7) 113783 xp <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 138042 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 292001 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 17 teeth

                                                

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 353792 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 185578 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Pilferer (T7) 71232 xp +5% <80001> CRT 1d16/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 129946 xp <130001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 121601 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Siddha Girl (P6) 56134 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Executioner (HO6) 53427<60000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 39982 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 16 DAYS

            Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)    

Elapsed Campaign Time

298 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Five when we ask the questions:

What wonders indeed?

After that, what next?

Tale of the Tape

With the loss of three more teeth Boris has become known as ‘Drooly’

---REDACTED---

KILLS

Ghouls (9) 

Ravenous Zombies (12)

Gargoyles (8) 

Maggog gargoyle 

Brown pudding 

Mummies (2) 

Purple moss – left it alone

LOOT

Clay canopic jars sealed (4)

Brass canopic jars sealed (4)

Bone scarab (cursed mummy rot)

Gold death masks (2) 600 gp each

Green Medallion (BX/BXX/BXXX)  as per gem of brightness 50:I

Jewelry (15 assorted pieces): 200,20,20,700,20,1200,500,300,10,800,400,700,40,800,900 = 5810 gp

Huggy Bear Murder Party (Session 133)

 SESSION 133: Not Quite Ready Yet

            Marching through the mush at night. Fortunately the moon was bright and the clouds were few. This made it much easier to see a twisted tree sitting on a mound rising up from the muck like a festering boil. It also seemed like the likely source of a foul stench that was infiltrating our sinuses. Bones and gore. We had discovered the lair of a clan of Cronen-cave-bears. Yup, body horror time. Twisted, mutated, seeping rancid fluids and very murderous. Saff conjured a phantasmal scout group that bought us some time to get positioned and then tenderize the abominations. It was working out pretty good until the leader of the clan showed up. A bloated and pustulant bipedal Cronen-bear-demon. It teleported (unknown to us at this time) to the backend of the party and immediately laid in upon Carla. Once the other bear things were dispatched the main group fell back to assist. The beast teleported again, this time to ravage Bimbles. It took a while but it was finally cut down. 

            Exploring the mound a lair was discovered under the tree. It was an abattoir. Completely covered in bones and gore – floor, walls and ceiling. There was treasure but it came at a cost when removal/ searching triggered the bones (many jagged and coated with rotting meat) on the ceiling to collapse. Injuries were minor but blood borne pathogens was the insidious aspect. Eventually a horde of treasure, the only legacy of the innumerable numbers of beings that had been consumed by the clan, was stored away and we made the final press for Helix.

            We remained in Helix for about a week. Boris spent his time reading a book of martial prowess. Ding-We worked on figuring out and transcribing the artifacts of Pinto the Pyromancer. Carla and Bimbles brought a mountain of low grade treasure to the temple of Ygg for distribution to the needy, a task Nara took great pleasure in assisting with. Additionally, the remains of Sir Pelinore were brought for interment once a mausoleum could be constructed. Further, a pile of medusae victims were dropped off for future de-stoning and community integration. And even further further, Carla inquired about the Paladin Palanthus. The priest of Ygg was well informed regarding the ancient holy warrior and also revealed the possibility that further artifacts did exist at one time. Perhaps more were lost in the Tomb of Tombs?

           Returning to Barrowmaze.  The trip was uneventful and we now had the medusa mound as a very private entrance. Working our way back to the octagonal chamber a quick search was conducted. Rewarded for the diligence a secret passageway was found. It led to a crypt with a sarcophagus that our recently discovered scarab key could open. This triggered the guardians of the crypt to make themselves known. The walls of the tomb of Rathgar the Ranger were actually flagstone golems. These 12’ constructs hit with the force of a wall. Massive stone walls to be precise. First it was Boris, his shield arm pounded into mush then Saff and finally Bimbles. These things were beating the crap outta us. The hobos however were surrounded. It was a fight to the end, as they often are. 

After the grand battle and while focused on the looting of the chamber a group of crypt knights were able to enter, from behind- yikes!, and another fight ensued. After cleaning up our hobos turned around to return to the octagonal chamber. We would have made it too, if it wasn’t for that meddling mega-dungeon explorer! Raul noted another structural inconsistency. Low and behold another false wall. A corridor leading to another lost crypt. It was protected as well but the entity was quickly pulverized. All was good, until we were surprised by another Nergalian strike force led by a barrow ghast. Geordieghast blasted us with a fireball (lucky for all I rolled like crap) while cackling in glee as his ghouls flowed into the chamber behind the blast. We were already roughed up by the golems and knights. The battle, like a few others recently, took some effort and luck to swing into our favour. Wow. That was a hard day. We pinioned the secret doors shut and settled in for a rest cycle. It was good, where do we go next?

 

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Matriarch of TMB (C8) 112720 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 155960 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III

Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 152891 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Champion (D7) 110728 xp <140001> CRT 1d16/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)  

Raul the Voyager (MD8) 134987 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 156556 xp +10% <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 17 teeth

                                                

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 350737 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 182523 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Pilferer (T7) 71232 xp +5% <80001> CRT 1d16/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 128491 xp <130001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Bopper (L7) 120074 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Siddha Girl (P6) 56134 xp +5% <66000> CRT 1d6/I

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Executioner (HO6) 51900 <60000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III

Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II

 

RESERVES

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 39982 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            REMAINING RECUPERATION: 25 DAYS

            Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)    

Elapsed Campaign Time

289 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Four when we ask the questions:

Where are the other artifacts of Palanthus?

Gargoyles?

Grizelda?

Run on the boss?

Tale of the Tape

Beatings were handed out by the wall-sized flagstone golems limbs and guts were pulverized (Boris, Saff, Bimbles -1 STR)

KILLS

Demon Bear 

Corrupted Cave Bears (5) 

Crypt Knights (6) 

Greater Crypt Shade 

Barrow Ghast 

Ghouls (12) 

Flagstone Golems (4) 

LOOT

Stud leather (H) +2

Longsword +2

700 pp

52 gp

Gems (12): 250,10,1000,100,500,50,50,25,25,50,10,75 = 2145 gp

Jewelry (11): 1400,700,1200,30,60,1000,400,1100,30,600,100 = 6620 gp

8,044 sp

14,120 cp

Green spinal (2) 140 gp each

Blue sapphire 700 gp

Golden yellow topaz (2) 400 gp each

Potions: healing, X-heal, heroism, shout, growth