Like Cows to the Slaughter (Session 314)

SESSION 314: The Lost Crypt pt. VIII – You got bug on my bear. Well you got bear on my bug. 

Slogging from room-to-room it was a bugbear massacre.

 

Day 282 Continued (Dungeon): Down another passage they went. Once more the sound beastmen doing something in the distance. They moved quickly under a shroud of silence. The gang would have gotten the jump this time if a clanging hadn’t of commenced from behind. Sounded distinctly like beings hammering on that sealed iron door to the hobos. 

To the bugbears it sounded distinctly like an alarm. 

Another ambush foiled! 

The hobos pushed towards the mouth of the chamber. Inside was a common room. Evidenced by a stream of non-combatants beaten foot out the back leaving their grub and stuff laying about. Once more tables were flipped as buggy’s took defensive positions. This time there was more than just bugbears. There were minotaurs, that charged from the darkness at just the right time. Wham! Giving his head a shake after taking a bull-man full-on Rhags was reinvigorated to see that their hooved opponents were well adorned in jewelry. Sure these were the trophies of many the eaten humanoid but now they would become hobos pay – Hot damn! 

The bugbears tried fruitlessly to disable the spell casters with missile attacks. This allowed the two magicians to drop some heavy tenderizing down on the beastman horde. BoB loosed arrows a necessary from her preferred vantage on the ceiling while Biff and Mason pulled double duty watching the teams six and covering the wimp and the gimp (Biff’s words not mine). It took a little work but as the story goes… don’t place yourself in-between a murderking and their weapon. Once the final slab of beef hit the floor the bugbears had already began to cool. They quickly grabbed their loot, a princely sum in jewelry and a few other things.

Nothing like a good payout to put the spring was back in your boots. Out the back of the chamber they went a short passage winding and quickly warming brought them to the armory. Weapon racks hung on the walls, and a small forge glowed in the back of the chamber. The weapons were crude iron and low steel but still had a mean look to them. Beside the furnace stood a beast of a bugbear grinning. The clan smithy had been waiting and fixing for this fight. All he needed was that brief moment of distraction. 

    --Wham-O!

Steve and Rhags were once more hammered by Minotaurs. This time just a pair. The smith hurled a pair of spears and then charged into the fray with a massive glowing hammer. The tanks engaged the mad moos and Chung-Li had the time to discharge a fireball at the lumbering bugbear. Ouch that hurt. Steve dropped his opponent quick enough to cause the smith to turn and run for the previously unseen iron rung ladder at the other side of the chamber. He got halfway up before Ding-We blew him up real good. Steve, Biff, and Rhags then skewered the final minotaur. 

As ash and soot rained down, the only remnants of the smithy, the gang was once more reminded that blowing shit up is fun but often also nukes your pay. They weren’t supper bothered as these minos also were adorned in trophies. We will never know what was up with the glowing hammer. 

After grabbing their loot and a snack all attention turned to the iron rung ladder.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 374812 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 276035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 558060 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 123997 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 86194 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 99327 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 137189 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

722d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Fifteen when we ask the questions:

I wonder where the iron rung ladder leads to?

I wonder what was banging on the wizard locked door?

Do bugbears normally hobnob with minotaurs?

Speaking of Hob(k)nobs why are these dorks so challenging for our mighty hobos?

Tale of the Tape

Players – 3, DM – 0 

KILLS

Bugbears (27) 

Bugbear Bigboy Blacksmith 

Minotaurs (6) 

LOOT

Potion of levitation

Cloak of Flight

58 gp

10 pp

Jeweled armband 60 gp

5000 sp

5000 ep

Gems (2): 100gp opal, 50 gp hematite = 150 gp

Assorted Jewelry (10): 1600,800,500,1000,1100,1300,1100,1600,900,900= 11,200 gp

A Dead End One Way Passage (Session 313)

SESSION 313: The Lost Crypt pt. VII – The Place at the End of the Passage 

A long walk down a natural passage leads to the lair complex of the bugbears.

 

Day 279 (Base CampàLiwil): Yup. Something is wrong with Steve. His tick hole was festering something nasty. Mason, finally, took a serious look at him. Gave the wound a touch and was gifted a vile vomiting of disease from the black and seeping chest pit. The clerics omnipresent helm saved him from eating the vile abscess contents. He did need to clean his eyes of the gross gunk before calling down powerful restorative magicks - by the grace of Yrrg! Steve immediately began to improve but he still would not be delving today. Rather than waste the day Ding-We declared they would return to Liwil for the day to resupply and such. One night of sleep out of the snow and cold was short but well received.

 

Day 280 (Liwil): Just buggering about town.

 

Day 281 (LiwilàDungeon Camp): Cloudy and cold. Simple day of traveling back to the stone garden and setting up a new base camp outside the dungeon.

 

Day 282 (Dungeon CampàDungeon): Unusually warm. Back into the dungeon complex went our hobos as their garrison set up lawn chairs and sun reflectors to suck up the rays – “Later dudes!”. The vast complex did not rally any defense as the Hobos made their way back to the unexplored stairwell in the lost crypt. Ding-We mused if they had beaten the underworld. Rhags told him not to get his hopes up, “Probably biding its time”. Everyone tried to peer a little deeper into the inky abyss beyond their light. 

How did we get here?

The stairwell led to a natural subterranean passage that ended up going for a couple of miles. Nary a side passage but they did find recent sign of other passerby’s. A few bones chewed along with some other detritus and what appeared to be large hooved prints. Without a real tracker present they did not glean too much other than it looked like the entities were also going down the tunnel. An hour or so later things were discovered.

An iron door and beyond the sound of gruff voices. They could not distinguish the words but Chung-Li was fairly confident of a goblinoid origin. Beastmen are afoot. It was decided that the noise would be addressed rather than the metal door. Before they crept passed Ding-We put a wizard lock on the door, “Good luck trying to bite us on the ass. Whatever is beyond”. Down the passageway they slunk. Twenty or so minutes later, and under the cover of silence, they approached a dimly lit chamber (I will mercifully skip over the long and tedious course of action deliberation phase once more). Bugbears were the occupants. It looked like barracks then it quickly turned to barricades as bugbears are notoriously sly and astute buggers. A munber of tables were flipped in the centre of the chamber for a host to huck spears from behind as two formations rushed along the rails to pull off the pincher. Your average ordinary hobos would have been pierced, slashed and punctured at this point. However, with the likes of Steve and Rhags holding the line as Ding-We and the mooks comfortably threw counter strikes from behind the beastmen were quickly laid to permanent rest. 

The pay stunk, and so they pushed on deeper into the complex.

 

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 374812 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 276035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                      

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 558060 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 123997 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 86194 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 99327 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 137189 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

719d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Fourteen when we ask the questions:

How big is this lair?

Will we have to fight room-to-room?

Was anything beyond that metal door?

 

Tale of the Tape

Players – 1, DM – 0 

KILLS

Bugbears (12) 

LOOT

36 gp

I Gots Ants in My Pants (Session 312)

SESSION 312: The Lost Crypt pt. VI – I Swear this Dungeon Wants to Kill You. 

Resolving encumbrance and the ant nest was a protracted affair. 

 

Day 278 Continued (The Crypt): It was time to pack to loot. Well after another inordinate amount of time the loot was actually packed back into the alcove and warded with a magic alarm mouth. Then it was time to get back to the ant lair. More time was gobbled up trying to find the perfect action. Steve rooted through the mould chamber to determine if there was any treasure that would be destroyed if a fireball was used to nuke the deadly yellow mold. Seemed all to be junk underneath the saffron carpet in this oddly cool cavern. Ding-We launched a fireball. The flames consumed the yellow mould but super charged the also present small patch of brown mould. Ding-We immediately felt his bodily warmth being drained from him. He made a quick exit and reviewed his Who's Who log book, “Ugh brown mould makes cold and loves fire but hates cold”. Back in he went to discharge two cones of cold into the chamber (one was not enough). 

Now the chamber was mould free. 

The rest of the gang rolled in and once assembling into marching order they progressed to the next chamber. 

Pushing their way through giant ant carcass laden passage Steve and Rhags came towards the next chamber opening. Rhags tossed his light stone into the sandy floored cavern, “Oh look giant ants that are not happy to see us. 

We found the nest!”. 

Warrior ants closed in on warrior hobos. They packed a nasty poisonous bite but they only got one chance with the Murder-tanks holding the line. 

Chop. Chop.

Now the drones closed in, lots and lots of drones. “More than I can count”, hollered Steve. Chung-Li figured this was a good time for decisive action, “Step out I’m going to launch a fire ball”. “What of our treasure? We cannot go around slagging all our sweet sweet lucre!”, lamented the one-legged wizard. His pleading fell on deaf ears. Everyone else wanted to get things done they had barely survived the last couple of days and felt that much of it was from dithering. The elf pointed his wand into the chamber and things got hot. Too hot for the drones, they were all incinerated. 

They rolled into the sandy chamber. It was felt that there was a queen and she would be somewhere most likely under the sand. That was true. She was an enormous thing and when the queen exploded from the ground her bulk created a cavity so large that it created a sinkhole like effect within melee distance. This caused a number of headaches. She also had a paralytic bite that incapacitated Biff. Someone noticed that Biff looked a little off, his defense seemed slow. The fight was dragging on until Ding-We was able to polymorph the giant ant into his preferred giant lagomorph, “Its hopping away get it!”. It was much easier to slaughter a largely defenceless rabbit. 

Poor rabbit. 

They were afforded no time to even clean their blades the ruckus had attracted four burrowing behemoths. 

“Umber hulks. Don’t look at their eyes!” yelled Ding-We. They were surrounded. Biff was still paralyzed and BoB, Mason and Chung-Li were clearly imperilled. BoB was able to make an escape after getting clawed, open combat is a death sentence for our ninja-girl. Mason and Chung-Li clearly could not stand long against these beasts either. It did not help that everyone were fighting with averted gaze, making themselves easier targets and hitting the hulks notably more difficult. Ding-We decided to try to play the hulks own game. The tables needed to turn quick to avoid disaster. He cast confusion and it worked, buggering up three of them. Chung-Li at the same time webbed one then to slow it down for a few rounds. The tables had been turned. Mason and Chung-Li were able to fall back. This allowed Mason to remove Biff’s paralysis before he was murdered. Chung-Li brought out his bow and loosed two very lucky shots blinding a pair of the hulks, thus countering their confusing gaze. In its fury one of the beasts killed a pal leaving it open to be chopped down by Rhags and Steve. With one still webbed and the remaining blinded it was not long before Steve was rooting through their guts for loot. Those giant belly’s sure could hold a lot of stuff. A mountain of coin, a potion and a bunch of scrolls somehow preserved in digestive resistant tubes. They were not that great. One was cursed (burning another ward charge), another had lame divine spells and the other two were for protecting against lycanthropes (already had a stockpile of those). 

 

Once more flush with more loot than they could carry, the gang deliberated on their next action for the umpteenth time today. Egress would be the course of action. The magic mule was summoned once more and buried in sacks of loot. A hobo probably would have received a bite for this but they were also underneath sack load. Back to base camp they slowly plodded. 

 

It was not until they reached the hydra lair did the hobos have an encounter. A pair of cave bears were deeply involved in the hydra carcass, nice and stinky rotten. They let out some territorial growls and the larger of the two stood up showing its massive size. The mob gave as wide a berth as possible making their way back to the stairs. This satisfied the animals. 

 

Not much further now. Through the medusa/ gargoyle lair they found themselves stepping once more into the wintery outdoors. The base camp seemed unmolested and guards quickly approached to help with the loot. 

Steve had not said anything on the long walk but he was feeling not so good and needed a rest, he did look a little pale.

The night passed uneventfully.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 369987 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 270910 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                      

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 552935 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 121434 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 83631 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 96764 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 134626 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

718d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Thirteen when we ask the questions:

What will they find down the passage?

What’s wrong with Steve and Biff?

What about that stone box with no hinges nor seams?

Tale of the Tape

Is something building to something?

KILLS

Yellow moulds (many) 

Mega-Brown-mould 

Giant Warrior Ants (3) 

Giant Drone Ants (40) 

Giant Ant Queen 

Umber Hulks (4) 

LOOT

500 pp

20000 gp

Gems (4): 10, 1000, 10, 100 = 1120 gp

Potion of Cloud giant control

Scrolls (2) Pro from Lycanhropes

Divine Scroll: Cure Light, Snake Charm

Big Balls (Session 311)

SESSION 311: The Lost Crypt pt. V – Big Balls 

In a bid to clean things up before descending further they face further complications from spinning the random encounter wheel numerous times.

 

Day 277 Continued (The Crypt): After more flip flopping in decision making they decided to web themselves into the alchemical laboratory. This was of course only after checking another chamber. It was a trash room. Steve and Rhagnar stirred up a bunch of giant ticks. One of which ended up burying its proboscis into Steve’s chest and gave him a good draining. He was notably pale and somewhat green around the gills afterwards. Now they really gave up on the day and staggered across the corridor the laboratory.

The rest cycle passed mostly unperturbed. Some very subtle odd noises were heard but not identified until morning.

 

Day 278 (The Crypt): When the web dissolved there was no longer a day. Only the upper hinges remained. The hinges were well corroded. Beyond, the two adjacent doors were also gone. What the heckle? They returned to the vaulted chamber to investigate the southern door. It was also gone. Chung-Li’s elf sense went off as they traversed the space between the now open portals. “We are not alone!”. They were not. Rumbling their way was a trio of armadillo like insectoid-ish creatures with antennae and weird prehensile tails. “Rust monsters!”, yelled someone other than BoB. “Quick get out the junk weapons”, Steve directed like a lord. Backups were pulled out and then corroded into dust. Luckily the mages struck hard preventing any serious losses. 

Beyond the now absent southern door was a corridor that carried a rotting meat sorta stink to it. They were returning to the zombie tsunami chamber. “Might as well take care of the ants then”, directed Ding-We. Ants seemed much preferred over the abominations and undead of late, even Biff was game. 

Returning to the ant hole they stopped and entered into planning mode. Ding-We felt that cloud kill would do the job. This would prove somewhat accurate. Steve escorted the wizard down the tunnel to the first chamber, the mold farm. There were fifteen or so ants present working away tending to the yellow mold darting in and out of the chamber to another adjacent chamber or tunnel. The wizard commenced the incantation. A noxious green smog began to flow from his fingers flowing into the chamber. Ants began dropping dead. Oh oh. Farming was one thing but when giant ants started going into paroxysms before succumbing to the gas caused the yellow mold to activate. The chamber now also filled with mold spores. Ding-We had to run. Steve followed behind not all that concerned due to his environmental barrier system. Back in the dungeon proper the wizard told everyone to settle in, they would have to wait for the ant chamber to be safe to respirate in. 

 

During this time Chung-Li and Biff were on guard at the opposite corridor from whence they came. Their positioning did not provide great vantage but excellent cover. As such it was not until what appeared to be a trio of lanterns were rather close did the watch notice. “Incoming! I see lanterns three of them”, shouted back pointy ears. The mob disengaged from ant-murder-plotting. 

They all peered round the corner. Completely blackness. Chung-Li asserted his observation and then three glowing balls were zinging through their midst. “Thems no lanterns they is sumptin else”, ruminated our Lord of Gormandia. “It’s like a disco in here now, gonna attract even more trouble”, complained our union being Biff as he pulled out his troll head of holding. “Gotta catch’em all”, he chuckled.  Ding-We knew this, and that, to probably be true “Knock those things down”, he hissed. Thus kicked off the electrical fun ride. 

Mason called to Yrrg for a protective shell from evil but the globes were already within the perimeter. The wizards began hurling magic missiles with abandon.

The orbs seemed to suck up the damage.

The balls moved at preposterous speeds through the group while giving out free potent electrical blasts. They were damn near impossible to hit. 

We had the odds but really only Steve and Rhags had any reasonable chance of a swat. Just when things once more looked like a disaster was mounting Steve was able to pop the first orb. “I can’t hold them …Ahhhhhh” 

“Stay on target”, buzzed one of the other two. 

“I’m in range. Target’s coming up!” 

“Just hold them off for a few seconds” 

Rhagnar leapt to where he thought one of the disco balls would be and just swung.

“I’m hit…skzzzz..”, the second was downed.

“Bzzzz. Alright I surrender. I’m done you have killed my brother Darrel and my other brother Darrel. Spare me and our stash is yours. No funny business”.

“Where is it talking from?” 

The hobos agreed to terms. The ball of light lead the gang back down the corridor just past the zombie chamber and began bopping by a spot in the western wall. “Remove the grey stone at the bottom and then pull”. A super-secret alcove 2’x2’x4’ packed full of coin, gems and items including a potion, a long sword and a shield (a face with its tongue stuck out). 

“How did they get this stuff in here?”

The will-o’-the-wisp blinked out of sight not to be seen again.

“How do we get it all out? We is already hella heavy”, Biff grumbled.

This was indeed a predicament. There was hundreds of pounds of loot.

 

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL  (xp update next recap)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 350909 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 258132 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                 

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 540157 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 115045 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 77242 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 90375 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 109721 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

717d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twelve when we ask the questions:

How do we get all this loot out?

What is in the next level down?

Have we killed all the ants?

Did the cloud kill affect the yellow mold?

Tale of the Tape

Luck be a lady tonight.

KILLS

Giant ticks (9) 

Rust monsters (3) 

Giant ants workers (20) 

Giant ant warriors (2) 

Will-o-the-wisps (3: 2 defeated 1 surrendered) 

LOOT

1000 pp

40,000 gp

Gems (15) = 3,550 gp

Potion of heroism

Sword Long +1/ +3 vs undead

Shield ‘Tongue out’ 

Scroll: Cure light & Dispel Evil

Murder Seasoning (Session 310)

SESSION 310: The Lost Crypt pt. IV – Secrets within Secrets 

Secret passages lead to ever increasing suffering. It was like the dungeon was working against our plundering and murdering.

 

Day 277 Continued (The Crypt): Next they moved west into a large gloomy chamber. Massive pillars reached up into the darkness supporting a vaulted ceiling. There was an immediate suspicion that things had to be lurking up there in the blackness. BoB quickly verified this, webbing and lots of it. There was a half dozen nasty giant spiders lurking in the shadows. Normally stealthy they were starving and were desperate, even more so after Ding-We discharge a fiery blast into their nest. Steve was not interested in baked spider at this time. Somebody, probably Ding-We, was convinced that there was a secret door somewhere along the far wall.

He was right but it took a hell of a long time to confirm. 

A super long time later…

BoB gets shit done again! Finding a paper thin seam totally not where Ding-We was certain that it was. Beyond was a rectangular chamber housing four unadorned stone sarcophagi sit on the floor here. The lid of one is slightly ajar; the rest are sealed tightly. This was trick but the next thing first. The open sarcophagus was loaded with gold and gems that happily glittered under light. Yaaaaa. Our coin grubbing mooks were drawn to the heap of loot. Squeezed into one of the other stone boxes was a trio of wights just waiting for the chance to pounce. It was now. “Destroy the living, consume life!”. They did not get much more than their war cry completed. No life was drained – Boooo. The sickly pasty dead were hewn. This was not the trick. Rhags went to the loot to bathe in it when something(s) began catching his good eye, well only eye. “Oh fer crying out loud this shit is shit. Junk. Crap. We’ve been duped”, steamed the Dwarf. Once Biff had completed his response lament they went to the walls looking for something more. It was found. Chung-Li finally usurping BoB’s limelight. BoB said nothing but we now she had thoughts for that fruity elf.

It was a sliding panel. Beyond was a corridor that lead into a triangular chamber. Inside was a great wealth of treasure lies before you in this chamber. Piles of gold coins, stacks of fine weapons and armor, jewel-adorned goods, scrolls, clothes, and decanters and jars lined the walls and floor. They rejoiced. This must be the treasure vault. Rhags once more flew into a rage as Biff gnashed his tusks, “More junk! These gems are inferior flaws virtually worthless. He was somewhat diffused as the coin looked good. During the coin counting and bagging Ding-We went through the books and scrolls. It was all crap and to up the ante five of the scrolls had been cursed burning out an equal amount of charges on the wizard’s ward. There must be another secret was the consensus. BoB found it and Rhags opened it. Ping ping ping. The dwarf was perforated by a barrage of poisonous thorns. “Gotta do better than that if ya wants to stop a Dwarf”, yelled our little fellow. One more chamber lay beyond. This was a strange room indeed, for unlike the previous gloomy crypts and tombs elsewhere, this one is brightly lit (apparently by continual light spells), well-appointed, and richly furnished. A few comfortable chairs are arranged around a low, sturdy-looking chest in the center of the room. A shelf lined with books stands along one wall. It is almost as if this chamber was prepared recently for guests. Steve and Rhagnar, as the other watched with baited breath from the precipice, cautiously entered the chamber drawn towards the chest. Rhags fiddled with the chest triggering a poison gas trap. “Try harder!”, was his response. Steve chuckled along with him until a pair of spectral entities materialized in the chamber and released ghastly screams before attacking. These were spectres and the loot was theirs. 

What type of spectre would quickly become evident, right after the first blow was landed against them. Steve laid into the first. Kablam, wounds opened across his body. These kinetic spectres and reflected back blows with sledgehammer like intensity. The fight was rather brutal and our little ninja once more sidestepped death once more in the nick of time. Steve and Rhags both had the snot beaten out of them but each wore a nasty little secret – rings of regeneration. Finally, they got treasure and it was definitely the real deal. Coin, gems and some interesting items.

After stowing the loot and grabbing a quick break they decided to backtrack to the first of two unexplored doors prior to the vaulted ceiling chamber which also had a door going south. Within the vaulted chamber they disturbed a massive reptilian, almost draconic, beast chewing on dead spider bits. Live dinner is always preferred. The creature opened its maw and blasted our hobos with fire. 

The worry meter elevated real quick. 

The 30’ behemoth charged the hobos once more BoBby was in the wrong spot and was mostly crushed and out of the fight. Ding-We and Chung-Li were not doing too much better. Steve, Rhags, Mason and Biff moved into tight melee in hopes of preventing another trampling. They got the job done. The pay was somewhat meager. Mason patched BoB up and they continued to the destination door.

A passage way was beyond this bronze door. It lead to a roughly hewn stairwell descending into the depths. The opening down and the alcove in which the stairwell was located was coated in a thick black ooze. Well it was a pudding. A black pudding. This was another mess of a fight. The wizards drained themselves of their most powerful magics as the pudding kept on splitting making more and more baby puddings. 

      (Ahhhh they is everywhere!)

 

It was a carnival of mayhem until they were able to escape back to the main corridor and Ding-We nuked the area with a fireball. 

Jeez what a day.

They were exhausted, badly beaten and tapped out of both divine and arcane powers. 

“Close enough to a day’s work”, decreed the high wizard of hobos. “Let’s hole up somewhere nearby”.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 350909 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 258132 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 540157 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 115045 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 77242 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 90375 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 109721 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

717d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Eleven when we ask the questions:

Did anyone catch that I compressed the secret door search into one session? Makes ya look smarter don’t it?

What does the pudding hole lead to?

Can we stop trying to kill BoB? Third time will be a charm.

Tale of the Tape

BoB has lived to fight another day.

KILLS

Spiders of Giantness (6)

Wights (3) 

Flame Lizard 

Spectres (2) 

Black Pudding 

LOOT

26,214 gp 

Jacinth 5000

Slab of Jade 140

Fine Spinel 500

Carnelian 600

3000 ep

Potion of Heroism

Jug of Alchemy

Longsword +1

When it Rains it Rains Stone Blocks (Session 309)

SESSION 309: The Lost Crypt pt. III – If it weren’t for bad luck…                  26May24 

Let us start with a tsunami of zombies and then see what happens next

 

Day 276 Continued (The Crypt): The stench hit moments before the wave of rotting flesh. Steve was steamrolled, Rhags somehow held his footing. Chunks of rotting meat broke sprayed over our tanks. Rank rotting things with an insatiable urge to consume living flesh. With Steve buried Ding-We unleashed a cone of cold. For the greater gain he had to include Steve and Rhags in the blast. A calculated risk that paid off. The zombies and their gross stink has been frozen. Steve crawled out from the pile of frozen corpses and proceeded to ignore his poor performance. Luckily Biff likes him so no ribbing was forthcoming. Rhags was preoccupied with getting the frost out of his beard. This charnel chamber housed those whom were once peasants and the time they spent looking for loot was not fruitful. There was also a door that lead to a storage room. It offered the remnants of useless stuff and another door. More time wasted (never a good thing in a dungeon as the random clock keeps ticking). Either continue along the corridor that led to the zombie chamber or behind door number one. The took the door.

 

It was another burial chamber the walls once more lined with niches an another door. With no dead welcoming party they felt that they could use some more time searching for pay. This time they were modestly rewarded a scroll and a platinum symbol of another long forgotten god. Beyond the door was another corridor that disappeared into darkness. BoB once more utilized her spider climbing ability to walk along a wall from the point. She walked slowly tapping the floor with her ten foot pole in hopes of uncovering any traps prior to mishap. Unfortunately, the floor was not trapped it was simply unsafe. Rhags did not notice several telltale ultra-fine cracks in the dust covered polished stone floor. The geohazard was triggered by Mr. Peg-leg. The floor fell away into an erosional feature swallowing Steve, Rhags, Ding-We and Mason. 

The fall hurt once they came to a full stop forty feet down. 

Many groans could be heard and what a racket…

“Get the rope of climbing and get us out of this pit”, yelled a mostly squashed Ding-We.

“Bunny gots the damn rope ya damn twit”, was Biff’s response.

More groans followed.

BoB snapped her fingers to get Chung-Li’s and Biff’s attention. First she somehow helped the other two across the chasm (how I don’t know as it seemed to have happened magically) and then they worked on a conventional rope escape system. This did not go super smoothly. 

Tick-toc went the dungeon clock.

At the end of the corridor was another door about 15’ from the pit edge. Just as the gang were almost back on their feet the door opened. Just enough for a cloaked head to peer down the corridor. BoB saw this and clanged an alert with her blade upon the wall. It was definitely humanoid. The gang tried to get into defensive position. They were however mostly flat-footed. Throwing back its hood revealed a decidedly octopodian head of purplish colour. “Oh no” came from those in the know and then came the a blast of mental energy. A moment before this Biff and BoB were able to loose missiles into the adversary. Steve, Chung-Li, Biff and Ding-We were paralyzed. Rhags charged, BoB jumped to the wall and the abomination fell back into the unknown chamber after an unsuccessful attempt to dominate the dwarf. Rhags charged through the door into a large chamber with a wonderous mosaic floor. This was lost to Rhags as he activated his ring of jumping to reach the now flying brain eater across the room. 

CLICK!

A stone block fell from the ceiling.

SPLAT!

Rhagnar has been removed from the board.

Mason hurled a Warhammer after quickly stopping when he saw the falling block. BoB stuck the abomination with an arrow from her shadowy vantage on the ceiling. Mr. Tentacle Face moved to eliminate Mason. BoB slunk into position for a backstab. The flayer was not tricked and counterd with a brutal mind attack. BoB vomited up a gout of blood. She was near death. Mason had nothing that could affect the mind flayer from a distance and nor did he want to risk being squashed like Rhagnar. This was the precipice of the end. 

BoB had one chance a single arrow. If she failed they would all be dead.

Twang. BoBby hit, perhaps even guided by divine hand. The mind flayer fell to the ground.

CLICK!

A(nother) stone block fell from the ceiling.

SPLAT!

(more than a little artistic licence, but you get the point. BoB saved everyone)

Not so handsome Mason knew how close they were to doom and had to take off his helmet, something he is very reticent to do due to his horrible facial injuries, to draw an unrestricted breath. BoB came a breath away from violating her vow of silence. 

“He’s not dead!”, Mason could hear Rhagnar struggling for breath.

“…I’m close…real close…being slowly…crushed…just like our loot ya dang idjits…”, rasped Rhagnar the drama queen.

After this things occurred. Those of which were conducted in the mosaic chamber only traversed areas previously tread. BoB was healed, the paralyzed were remobilized and some sort of cockamamie plan was executed to release the dwarf. All his mundane and/or fragile stuff was destroyed but he was free and alive. 

By this time the day was long. They camped atop the two huge stone blocks. 

During the rest cycle things tried to gain entrance to the chamber. Thumping, bashing and scratching. The ancient brass door did not yield. 

 

Day 277 (The Crypt): Today the dungeon weather was once more dark and dungeony. BoB figured out the location of the final two stone block traps allowing the gang to safely traverse the chamber. Three doors. They decided to go north. It opened to an alchemists laboratory. Old corroded alchemical tools sit on benches in the middle of this room. Opaque, cloudy jars dot the shelves along the wall. A book of some kind lies on the workbench alongside the tools. A skeleton in tattered robes lies just under the edge of the table. Ding-We got excited until he got a close look. The stuff was largely junk, but they did find a trio of potions and a possible diary. The book would require magical assistance to decipher the lingo. Back to the main chamber and then the west door. A corridor went thirty feet before  once more terminating in trio of doors. This time they went south. A filthy chamber full starving swarming rats. After the previous day, a few hundred rats don’t mean jack shit. They were rewarded with a pittance of silver.

Backing up, where do we go next?

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 350909 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 258132 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth        

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 540157 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 115045 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 77242 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 90375 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 109721 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny & the Holy Rollers Group Newville) Busy until 779

716d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Ten when we ask the questions:

Are we going to continue having BoB play fast and loose with her fragile little mortal coil?

Have we caught on that being loose with time could be the death of us?

I wonder what sort of horde was obliterated with the mind flayer?

Not so tough are we?

Tale of the Tape

Tentacle face was not far from killing everyone. Give praise to BoB!

KILLS

Zombies (40) 

Mind Lasher or Flayer or Illithid 

Rat Swarms (2) 

LOOT

1156 sp

Platinum holy symbol of a long forgotten god 275 gp

Scroll: Remove Curse