Whacking Day Continues (Session 301)

SESSION 301:  The Loot Keeper 

There was the treasure they just needed to get past the guardian.

 

Day 267 Continued III (15.23 The below defiled Dwarven outpost): Beyond the fireplace door was a document room. It held treasure and a worrisome skin-map. Oh, also sitting upon the interior lintel was the guard “dog”. Well it would have been a dog if the bad guys had been brigands or something similar but this was an Ophidian lair so it was a skeletal naga instead. 

As Steve and Rhags (behind a tossed in light stone – thanks BoB!) entered the large hidden chamber the fighter’s spider-sense went off and foiled what I thought was a well set trap. Looking up the two tanks say a trio of fifteen foot snake bones topped with a hideous humanoid skull moving onto the ceiling. 

Stevie’s warning provided Ding-We, who was in the fireplace before the door to blast the chamber with a shot of undead mucking up radiance. The fighters then held the creature at bay as the wizard conjured up a lesser anti-magic shell for himself and those around him. Steve and Rhags fell back to enjoy the protection. The trio of snake-bones had queued up magic missiles (three each). It turned out that only three were real. “Mirror images” was shouted by someone other than BoB. The number of real missiles didn’t really matter as the magical barrier put an end to them. The serpent wasn’t a dummy, just dead, it sealed the hobos out with a thick and sticky web. 

This would provide some time to reassess how to deliver it duty of ‘kill all intruders’.

Steve activated his flamebrand but it would take some time allowing the dead naga some time to prepare. It moved back onto the lintel above the tanks and covered the chamber in darkness and silence. Busting through the webs hobos began rolling into the chamber once more. The darkness was quickly countered by the wizard but the silence lingered and was a limiting factor. The naga thanked the wizard by tagging him with its paralytic tail stinger. For a second serving it bit Steve brutally causing his flesh to turn black and begin to rot. The creature could not use any more of its potent magics due to the anti-magic so it attacked from distance from the ceiling as it spider squiggled about. The snake saw the wizard and cleric as glowing icons that must be destroyed even when rotting Steve was a bone breaking problem. 

Meanwhile Rhags bounced about. Poor little gaffer just couldn’t get to the fight. The anti-magic shell persisted, even as the fight dragged on. It became a game of attrition and the singular bunch of bones was going against an ofttimes effective murderhobo squad. Rhags finally got a hit in as he leapt from the mantle and finally smashed the thing to bits with his spear. 

Bone bits rained down but our gang were all business. Straight to the four large chests (10,000 coin capacity ~150 lbs). They did not appear to be locked nor did they glow under the scrutiny of Mason’s detect traps invocation. There were glorious contents in three of them. Rhagnar did not like what he saw and went to the empty chest and stuck his big dwarf snoz in and gave a deep wiff, “Dag nab-it! There was even more loot in here. Smells like gold and platinum residue” raged the Dwarf. There was some coin and a few items but the big take away was gems and jewelry. The jewelry was most certainly sourced from many years of human and adjacent races facing the atrocities delivered by the ever wicked snake-men. The wall hanging ‘map’ across the room providing clear evidence of such. It was clearly, very evidently, made from four human skins tanned, stretched and stitched together with great skill. Chung-Li, Ding-We and Mason stood before it taking in the details as the others rooted through the treasure.  

The map showed the local lands and it was up to date. Including our hobo activities as well other human, dwarf, elf and stirgi settlements spanning east and west of the blood river. Along with this there were many notes in the black language of the ophidians. Ding-We held in his concern as he directed Biff to roll it up and stuff it in his troll-head-of-holding. “I was keeping my lunch in there now yer gonna get human flakes on my peanut butter”, grumbled the blackguard as he rolled and stuffed. The wizard missed the quip as he dwelled in his thoughts, the map appeared to contain many worrisome artifacts of their activities and likely evidence that these serpent-men were more like a hydra than he would like to know. The ophidians want two things to destroy man and enslave the rest. 

After inventorying the loot the chests were reloaded and readied for transit. They were mostly convinced that a tactical retreat was the next step. We shall see what actually happens.

   Stevie receiving a headful of necrotic anti-life.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 335303 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 242526 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                       

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 524551 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 107243 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 69440 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 82573 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 107435 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

(733b) days at beginning of session (Far Southern Basilisk Hills)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

708d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Two when we ask the questions:

Is this secret chamber a good place to rest or are we leaving?

What about those southern passages (3)?

What would the smart decision be?

Are there more snakes?

Why do the snakes have so much information?

Didn’t we thwart the serpent invasion once already?

Tale of the Tape

Steve was afflicted with a horrid rotting fortunately a Lama of Yrrg was on hand.

KILLS

Skeletal Naga 

LOOT

3000 sp

1000 gp

Gems (30): 5,810 gp

Jewelry (22): 22,500 gp

Potion of Speed

Scroll: Protection from Elementals

Sword +1 Dwarven origin

 

63,000 sp (which has been piled for later collection no xp yet, still unclaimed)

We Kill A Lot (Session 300)

SESSION 300!:  Why Did it Have to be Snakes Again (again, again??)?

There was more to this lost Dwarven garrison and it was even moar snakey down below. Great.

 

Day 267 Continued (15.23 The defiled Dwarven outpost): Standing around the burning hydra carcass a thought bubbled up – where is our loot? Moving along the chamber bisecting stream they reached the large central pool. To the NE, somewhere in the dark, they could smell the beast’s poop pile but decided to focus on the pool and beyond where the creature had leapt from. The stream provided crystal clear cold water that supported a vibrant ecosystem within the pool and beyond. Small shrimp moved industrially harvesting the abundant red algae and detritus brought in with the stream all of which was observed by an abundance of large trout. Seemed like a reasonable food source to get a beast through Winter but not year round, there must be another food source. 

Crossing the stream they were in the hydra’s nesting area and there was no shortage of bones covering the rocky foreshore. The got right down to rooting through the carnage zone. The bones were of man and animal how they got here was a mystery. There was a door but it was clearly dwarf and not hydra sized. The grubbing came up with mountains coin silver, gold and platinum. The loot distracted our team as more trouble crept down the wall and ambushed the hobos. The cleanup crew arrived. Carrion crawlers, monstrous centipede like things with tentacled paralytic maws. Things went sideways hard. BoB and Rhags were paralyzed while Steve was taken to the ground and swarmed. Biff miraculously stood his ground against a pair of crawlers. The Thesselhydra must have been a sloppy eater as there was no shortage of crawlers, eight in fact. Before the Hobos could even react they were in serious trouble and then they were flat-footed. At least the insects were mindless and focused solely on their immediate targets. This allowed Mason and Ding-We to move unfettered in search of a solution and stave off hobo-death. BoB was in critical shape when Mason got to her to alleviate the paralysis. Fortunately our little ninja-girl moves like lightning and was able to disengage beyond the battlefield. Steve was able to kill his attacker from the ground and roll within spear stabbing distance of one of the two crawlers laying into Rhagnar. The battle raged. We have seen this outcome before. The longer the Hobos fight the less likely the monsters are to win a game of attrition. What started with the stylings of a TPK turned into a TMK. Brutalized but victorious. Potions were chugged, wounds cleaned and Mason called down the power of Yrrg so they could continue their mission.

They stowed away the gold and platinum, leaving a couple hundred pounds of silver for later address. It was time to open the door. Made of stone bearing defaced dwarven carvings and runes but still in very functional order. It opened with ease revealing a dark corridor of fine Dwarven construction. Not too far down there were two doors as the corridor continued. Both were similar to the entry door. They continued past. Mason once more called for the guiding hand of Yrrg, this time to detect traps. 

The corridor branched into a chamber as well as snaking (see that, its foreshadowing) east and then continuing to the south. Into the chamber crept Mason and BoB. Inset into the room was a statue bearing green gem eyes of a demonic snake being. The floor around it glowed to Mason’s eyes. He steadied BoB to prevent her from proceeding after the gems that held a sparkle in her eye. The cleric warned the rest of the group as the followed behind. The west end of the shrine and similar passages going north and south. It was mostly clean in here, dust free floor and as well as the demonic idol. Ding-We did not care for this place and Mason’s dry heaves even though quieted were a clear sign of wickedness tainting this place. They fell back to the doors.

Opening the door to the east they were greeted by the stink of blood and meat. Skinned human(oid) bodies hung from hooks on the east and south walls. To the north was a crate and beyond, against the wall, was a rack full of bottles. The group turned around and went to the other door. A hiss was heard from the darkness to the south. Ding-We immediately felt that ulcer of his fire up as he was convinced another medusa awaited. He will be proven to be somewhat correct.

It was a serpent-man the ancient and cross-dimensional enslavers of man. It hid in the dark for a spell measuring its opponents. Ding-We blasted a cone of cold into the blackness to get things started. It charged as another erupted from behind the other door. They were both armed with black glaives that swung without mercy as their poisonous fangs looked for purchase and their great tails coiled and lashed attempting to bring a hobos to the ground. “Ssslavess Shall Ssserve!”. 

Once more the gang had their back against the wall and were fighting from a pinch point. Luck showed up when Ding-We successfully polymorphed one into a fan favourite giant rabbit. The rabbit bolted and now they were no longer fighting on two fronts. This tipped the scale – Snakes must die. After wards they proceeded into the next chamber. 

It was once may have been a treasure chamber with ornate pillars along the outside walls. Now it appeared to be a sleeping area for the snake-men with three large pillowed resting areas in between pillars. They started looking for loot as serpentine eyes watched from the darkness atop of two of the columns. A pair of giant snakes dropped onto the floor and attacked. 

Nine feet long and with a head at both ends each sporting obviously poisonous fangs. Steve and Rhagnar were tapped quickly both fortunately being lucky enough to avoid having a successful injection of venom. The fight didn’t last long. The field of battle now sporting snake bits and goo. There was no treasure to be found. With a grumble Rhags lead the advance westward. The back end of the chamber revealed another stone door (W) and passages to the south and north. The southern appeared to connect to the altar chamber. They went north.

The passage hooked west after twenty feet and continued off into the darkness. Thirty feet further along was a door on the south wall. The passage continued gaining a slope noticeable by a Dwarf. Additionally the Dwarven finishing transitioned into an unfinished passage. Ding-We didn’t like this and directed a turnaround and return to the door. This resulted in the fortunate spoiling of an ambush by another Ophidian. The evil beings hatred and sense of superiority over mankind caused it to attack with unrestrained malice and an absence of tactical merit. The front line did suck up a couple of brutal hacks before mashing the snake-man into paste.

Beyond the door was a sizable meeting room. In the centre a large dwarven made stone table that had been raised with blocks for larger species to utilize. Two man-sized chairs, three cushion chairs suitable for snakes and two large stump stools for something bigger. Two large silver steins rested on the table adjacent to the big stools. The west wall was dominated by a large fireplace, inside remnant embers casting a weak red glow. 

The steins were yoinked and chamber searched. First pass yielded nothing. About to leave Wendul pointed out how large the fireplace was and its ability to hold a significant volume. Chung-Li agreed that it was rather opulent. Biff glanced at BoB, “Whaddya think Bobby-girl? The only place in here ain’t it?”. BoB was on the wavelength and got in under the lintel and examined the back wall. It was big and cool enough inside for her to get right in there. She popped out a minute or two later and made a door (inside) gesture. Biff smiled, “That’s where our pay is!”. “About time”, agreed Rhags. 

Steve and Rhagnar moved into the fireplace after BoB prescribed (through hand sign) how the hidden door likely opens.

In they went. 

The door opened with ease.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 330893 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 238116 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                       

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 520141 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 105034 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 67231 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 80364 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 105226 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Alamender the Stoned Captain

Elapsed Campaign Time

(733b) days at beginning of session (Far Southern Basilisk Hills)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

708d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-One when we ask the questions:

What is beyond the secret fireplace door?

Why did it have to be Ophidians?

How much further did those dang Dwarves dig?

Where could that slopping natural passage lead?

Tale of the Tape

BoB somehow used her masterful skills of ninjitsu to avoid certain death by carrion crawler, she was very lucky.

KILLS

Carrion crawlers (8) 

Naga-Ti (3) one hopped away after being transformed into a rabbit of notable size. 

Amphisbaena (2) 

LOOT

1,100 pp

3,000 gp

63,000 sp (which has been piled for later collection no xp yet)

Large (4 pints) silver steins of dwarven origin (2) 300 gp each

Can We Be That Honest? (Session 299)

SESSION 299:  Horse Fuckers! 

Back in civilized lands we find out that our gang has a hard time differentiating between negotiations with orcs and city folk.

A road discovered leads to a town. A stitch-up and poor inter-personal skills almost lead to a big mess. Sailing away the following day to the next hole in the wall, they may not figure out what the deal was.

 

Day 269 (15.41/0503à15.40): The biting cold was still hungry this morning. They pressed on. It was not long until the trade road was intersected and the march turned to the west. Late in the day smoke was seen rising from a structure in the distance. Ended up being an inn/ garrison. That evening they ate fresh hill deer as they huddled near the roaring fire in an attempt to rid themselves of the deep cold.

Day 270 (15.40à): The deep freeze finally broke. It would take nearly two days to reach Deepwater. They marched out under light snow.

Day 271 (15.40à): The day was clear and the band made Deepwater by mid-afternoon and ended up in the only inn in the town, the Speckled Trout, after some general snooping around.

Day 272 (13.39 Deepwater): Mild snow today as the gang went out to make connections. Looking for trade and services. They found some in this rinky dink port town. A sled was commissioned and the local priest, of Sarnis (Praise be Sarnis may we never run aground), Brother Halason was commissioned to fix our trio of broken arms along with Boris’s compressed vertebrae (that would leave him largely incapacitated for a week or so). 

This was followed by more ale and relaxing at the Speckled Trout until the City guard showed up. The mob had been accused, anonymously of course, of being degenerate horse fuckers. For some unfathomable reason Ramrod was allowed to take point on this interaction. Rammer got nasty, so much in fact that somehow Raul was drawn into the frenzy. 

It looked like we were a breath away from arrest and banishment before some idiot realized that our supposedly heroic hobos were acting like asshats. A fight with the guard and the ramifications thereof would completely undermine their broader regional goals. They finally shut the hell up and took a fine even though the accusation was way off base. Some of them were unabashed plant fuckers but horses, and donkeys for that matter, is where we draw the line. If they had less ale in them and maybe if the girls had been around smarter minds would have realized that something was afoot. The guards were just doing their job but there was someone(s) in the town that did not like our hobo presence. Nuance is lost on the twitty. 

It went down sorta like this...

“We’re not horse fuckers!”

“Someone sez you is strangers”

“We will destroy you for suggesting that we did any poking”

“We are only doing our job, sir”

“I want to see the judge!”

“We have been sent to resolve the matter”

-the following straight up vitriol from Ram-rob has been redacted due to its inappropriate nature.

-Raul started slathering at this point which will also require redaction.

“Fine how much? We better not be considered guilty”.

“Fifty gold sheckles each and the matter of transient horse fucking will be resolved”

“What does that mean!?!”

“Just pay them!”

“We will be on our way. We hope that we will not be required again. It may be best if you strange folk moved along at the earliest possible convenance”

“We are working on it!”

“A good day to you then and stay away from the stables”

The guards collected the fine and warned against any further copulating with the equine type before departing. 

Folks began looking differently at our gang. 

The weirdest of such with adulation, a creepy twerp wearing a straw stuffed blouse.

Sloth had a good cry because he was really confused by all this, “I like horsees they are nice…”.

Day 273 (Deepwater): A blizzard rolled in today dropping another 40” of snow. Sitting around the fire in the tavern until they needed to visit the priest for the day’s healing service.

Day 274 (Deepwater): The storm petered out in the morning but not before dropping another 4”. In the afternoon some of the troop set out to the warehouse district to figure out what is going on in Deepwater and to book passage up the river. They learned that the Blood did indeed connect with the Sarn but was impassable during the Winter. They could however travel to Hob, killing about half the travel back to Liwil. A deal was struck. They would sail in three day’s time.

Day 275 (Deepwater): It must be a climate crisis! No snow today but the mercury precipitously dropped. Another deep freeze signalled a good day to once more sit around a roaring fire.

Day 276 (Deepwater): The cold held. Activity again was limited to the required. Picking up the sled.

Day 277 (Deepwater): Today was supposed to be departure day but the deep cold held creating somesort of temperature inversion that brought thick fog. Booo.

Day 278 (Sailing 13.39à): The cold broke. The fog dispersed. The river boat to Hob departed.

Day 279 (Sailing along the Sarn): An uneventful winter day on the Sarn river.

Day 279 (Sarnà19.29 Hob): Another welcomed clear day and arrival in the walled town of Hob. An ancient glowing smelter greeted all that arrive along the river. It was an industrial waystation that once tied together the larger network of the Skeldrane empire. Given direction by the Captain of the skiff the hobos made their way to the only Inn in town (where have we heard that before?) Hooper’s. It was the dead season and the arrival of twelve hobos and a statue were warmly greeted by the innkeeper Mr. Hooper, he used to drive the boat it seems.

"We don't normally serve their kind", Hooper said gesturing at Sasha the Statue. He didn't want to be 'too by the book' business was really slow.

"Don't worry she's with us and the big goober will also eat her share", Raul pointing at good old lumbering Sloth.

Day 280 thru 288 (19.29 Hob): With Boris being bedridden to recover from his neck repair the gang hung loose at Hooper’s for the next eight days. This might provide enough time to figure how to traverse the wilderlands during the darkest depths of Winter. They did end up buying a pair of mules, we shall see if that works out.

I doubt it (x2) but maybe six or so feet of snow is not as much of a hinderance as reality dictates.

 

 

The B-Team: Boris, Ramrod, Raul, Sloth, Willy, Sasha, Wendul, Gurn, Katre, Herbert, Camillus, Lady Versamage & Skull-Crusher

 

ROLECALL 

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 276550 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 378475 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)                         

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T9) 185656 xp +5% <280001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Sloth the Bopper (L8) 205438 xp +10% <390000> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Missing ten teeth

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 130057 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

Missing three teeth

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 34745 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 56493 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  59674 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  34881 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Katre Elf-Girl and Swordsman Conjuror (E3) 14934 xp <16000> +0% CRT 1d8/II

Lady Versamage Knight Errant (K6) 64777 xp <85000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Herbert the Master Gnome Trickster (G4) 15070 xp <30000> +5% CRT 1d8/III 

Skull-Crusher the Hellebardier of Crom (A4) 8044 xp <12000> +5% CRT 1d8/III

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

(713 b) days at beginning of session (DreamlandsàFar Southern Basilisk Hills)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

708d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Fucking-Hundred when we ask the questions:

Why would someone peg our hobos as horse fuckers?

Did someone want us out of town?

If so, why would someone want that?

Why don’t we ever dig deeper in inquiry?

Why did nobody step in when Rammer got real dark?

Why did we treat the guards so shitty, they were just doing their job?

What the hell is wrong with “You People”?

Travelling through a base of 6-8’ of snow is easy right?

What does Hob have to offer beyond a couple of mules?

Tale of the Tape

Nothing special, Sasha is still a statue.

Oh and Boris recovering from his neck re-elongation.

No more broken arms.

KILLS

none

LOOT

nope

C'mon Now, How Many Heads Do You Really Need? (Session 298)

SESSION 298:  THE AWOKEN or The Thing Over There

We gonna run. Nope we is the MurderHobos. The sleeper be damned.

 

Day 267 (14.23à15.23): They had the moment, the monstrous entity seemed to need a moment to shake off the sleep. The wizard flopped all over the place before calling the retreat. The creature could be anything, even a dragon or another dwarf released Balrog, and a breath attack could be calamitous. 

 

Back up the stairs they ran. Then Ding-We changed his mind again, “Let’s hold here”. Perhaps facilliated by the in action reminder that running with a peg-leg ain’t competition level.

The party straddled the archway separating the corridor from the chamber. The beast, no it was an abomination, leapt across the pool and landing nearly at the stairwell. It was about twenty feet long and stood nearly as high. A reptilian horror a twisted hydra a great maw lined with numerous rows of teeth going deep into its throat. To top this off the gigantic mouth hole was ringed by eight great serpents that lashed out a good fifteen feet from the main body. And to put a cherry on top it had a long prehensile-like tail that ended in wicked pinchers. It stood up on its hind legs and lunged forward as the snakes made way for a horrendous vomiting of acid all over the hobos on the landing. 

Chung-Li, probably BoB as well, miraculously avoided being turned into a pool of bubbling goo. The wizard once again contemplated retreat but the thessylhydra was now virtually on top of them and outrunning it would be an even bigger fool’s decision. It was fight time. Steve stepped forward and quaffed a potion of growth while Rhags and Biff took position on his rear flanks to hold back any snake heads from hitting the spellcasters behind. As Giant Steve began to manifest Chun-Li and Ding-We released fireballs at the hydra that was now back on all fours, coiling for a leap. It shrugged of the conflagration and sprung the thirty feet to the landing. The snakes raced towards Rhags and Biff as the tail pincher grabbed Steve in serrated clamps that held him for the maw to brutally rip into him. Inside that maw was more acid. Steve had a bad feeling as BoB did her best to tenderize the thing from afar. 

 

Mason was throwing healing as fast as he could. They would all die or all survive, Yrgg be praised.

 

Our bums finally mounted a counterstrike. 

Huge Steve carved into the hydra’s breastplate. Rhags saw an opening and activated his ring of jumping to attempt a death from above. Landing his sword into the back of its head he held the blade deep and opened a mighty gash as he slid down to the cavern floor. As this occurred the two arcane casters simultaneously released barrages of magic missiles. With a deep abyssal groan the thessylhydra went limp and fell backwards. 

Rhags looked up, “oh oh.”. The dwarf barrel-rolled in the nick of time only getting dinged by a thick reptilian leg. 

 

“Does it regenerate?”, Ding-We yelled down to Rhags. 

“I don’t know”, was his response. 

“Burn it anyway!”, came from Steve as he rushed back down the floating stairwell. Even our dim fighting-man knew that a second round would spell doom. 

Biff and Rhags began chopping off snake heads as Steve doused the body with oil. 

IGNITION! 

Standing around the burning slab gripping weapons just in case it twitched.

“Smells like chicken…hrmm”, Biff was having a hard time gripping his sword rather than grabbing a chunk.

“Sure does pal.. sure does. What a shame never eaten hydra-thing”, Stevie expressing a little disappointment.

A gout of acid bubbled up wrecking both of their hunger fantasies. 

“Maybe a little too much picante”, accurately interjected Mason.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 330893 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 238116 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                    

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 520141 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 105034 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 67231 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 80364 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 105226 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

(713 b) days at beginning of session (DreamlandsàFar Southern Basilisk Hills)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

708d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Ninety-Nine when we ask the questions:

Does this thing have murderous acid babies roaming around somewhere in the cavern?

Is there treasure and if so where?

What does that other arch lead to?

Is this actually a dungeon?

Tale of the Tape

Good fortune sometimes even favours the addled. 

KILLS

The Thesselhydra

LOOT

Nonesuch

The Sleeper has Awoken (Session 297)

SESSION 297:  In, Out and Back Into the Snake Nest 

MEANWHILE: Harangued by a wicked gargoyle and then they dug into a sleeping monstrosity’s lair.

 

Day 266 Continued (15.23): Ding-We redoubled his effort to convince Mason and Rhags that they would come back to consecrate this pit of vile evil. The desecration was sinking into all of their bones. Even if they were not ambushed during the night they would be haunted. They would return to camp. Let the backtracking begin. 

The things about gargoyles is that they are patient. Our missing maggog had just stood at the end of the corridor from the medusa lair and waited for hours. When came bumbling along the hobos got lucky and avoided surprise allowing Ding-We to put up a protection just in time to stop an incoming lightning bolt. The maggog let out a curse and then disappeared into the blackness to prepare its next ambush. The gang discovered a blob of magical darkness in the corridor to the statue chamber. They buggered about and then dispelled it and then stampeded into the chamber. No maggog. The thing was tricky. They continued towards the exit but got distracted. There was another passageway, parallel to the one that lead to the tomb. This one though was blocked. It appears to have collapsed was Chung-Li’s thought. “Nope. Look at this sidewall. Something dug in and then went that way and smashed things down behind when it went thattaway”, Rhags pointing at pieces of evidence to support his hypothesis. “Nothing we can do aboot that now, let us blow this popsicle stand”, Ding-We ignoring that it was his diversional decision. “Hmphf. Sure pogo”, Biff giving an expected admonishment that garnered a chuckle from Steve.

 

They rolled into the black shrine due north of the entrance. This was when Mr. Evil attempted to strike again. It was invisible and came from behind trailing the smell of cleric. Just as it laid up to lay out Mason Biff’s guts told him something was there. He let out a call and Steve raced back to join as Mason moved out of harm’s reach. Foiled again! The maggog tactically repositioned. Escaped again! The delvers made the final push for the exit and were once more in the stone garden. The trek back to camp was a snowy slog. The night in the Liwil hex was uneventful.

 

Day 267 (14.23à15.23): The wizard had come up with a plan overnight and tailored his spell memorization to such. They returned to the corrupted dwarven ruins to have their final battle with the maggog and discover what lay beyond the barrier at the end of the passage. 

The gargoyle did get to blast some of the dorks with a lightning bolt, and the wizard with magic missiles as it played a game of ambush. On the third strike it made a mistake. Allowing Steve and Rhags to charge it, after BoB had done a great job softening the thing. Rhags cut into its guts as Steve cleaved through arm, shoulder, clavicle, neck and its lower jaw. What a mess but a job, finally, well done. This all occurred outside of a locked door. 

Beyond was a training chamber with a respectable suit of dwarven plate, some old weapons, a staff and the gargoyles paltry treasure pile. “Ain’t gonna retire on that”, grumbled Biff. The others agreed. It was time to return to the collapsed passage. 

Through the use of powerful arcane magics Ding-We was able to burrow (move) through the earth to review a continuing passage. It lead to an archway and a floating stairwell that descended into a natural cavern. Flowing water could be heard and the stink of something floated on the dead air. Reaching the cavern floor Rhags tossed a light stone deeper. It was a big chamber and something was here beyond the light beyond a large pool of water. An abyssal groan and then a growl that was flanked by multiple hisses. Whatever it was, it was big as they could clearly discern earth and stone being crushed underfoot.

 

The sleeper has awakened and it don’t seem friendly nor small.

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 330893 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 238116 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                     

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 520141 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 105034 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 67231 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 80364 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 105226 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Felix is in Liwil, good place for him

Elapsed Campaign Time

(713 b) days at beginning of session (DreamlandsàFar Southern Basilisk Hills)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

707d (Ding-We Gang Liwil)

 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Ninety-Eight when we ask the questions:

Are we in trouble?

Is it better to let sleeping monsters lay?

Did we really need to clear this hex?

Isn’t Winter a better time to be working in a laboratory making magic?

Tale of the Tape

Not to worry, I think it just showed up…

KILLS

Maggog -nasty piece of spell casting gargoyle 

LOOT

Smushed silver unholy symbols (2) 60 gp each

5 cp

35 ep

Jewelry (4): 1300 gp, 1200 gp, 800 gp, 900 gp,  = 4200 gp

Gems (5): 100,10,100,50,1000 = 1260 gp

Dwarven Plate +1

Staff of striking (22 charges)