Friday, 3 October 2025

Everyone Hates Felix (Session 319)

SESSION 319: CSI: Liwil (the one and only Felix show) 

Felix is mixing with the locals in search of a murderer, hope he survives the experience

 

Day  722 (Liwil): Sometime in the possibly not so distant past... 

It had taken some time but Felix had made it to Liwil after the slow trek through the deep snows. Before the whole Statue Garden thing Ding-We had directed our sleuth to head down to solve a murder that occurred in the shanty village outside the gates of the keep. By the time he arrived a second murdering had been conducted. 


Not one to rush into things Felix set himself up in The Knight and Stone Tavern in the keep before heading to the mining camp. A good rest and a couple of hot meals would bring his investigating skills to the fore. That evening a third murder transpired. Felix was roused early in the morning by the guard. After getting the details he committed to commencing his investigation after breakfast – “A hungry mind is a feral mind”.

A few hours later he walked out the gate and into the shanty town. Following the 'rabble rabble rabble' he came to the back of a line of children. 

A young girl was selling ‘poke the dead body with a stick’ for a very reasonable copper piece per poke. “Hmm what an enterprising young lass. She could be useful”, he mused. 

“Get in line snoop we were here first!” 

“YAAAA!!! We is poking!”

“Now now children I am the authority and must control the scene of this heinous crime”

“Boooo”

Felix eventually, after some bribing, got to the well frozen corpse. A miner woman with a well bashed in skull, the same modus operandi as the previous murders. Using his powers of deduction Felix ascertained that the murder had indeed occurred the previous evening, been conducted with the large bloody rock (just over there) and she had not been robbed (the gold nuggets in her pocket were now Felix’s evidence). Nothing else could be gleened from the scene. He would have to conduct interviews. Returning to the guard he inquired about the ‘people of note’ within the shanty town. 

With some names of ‘folk of note’ Felix was off to do some interviews. First stop the healer (Cloe Lange) and then The Drinking Shack where he met the proprietor one-eyed-and-legged Cen Saard along with his son Con, whom was fully intact. It was on the quiet side but Felix spent some time speaking to Nea Wald a grizzled veteran miner and one of the first to arrive in the shanty town from Liwil. He gleened a deeper understanding of the miner community and observed those insidious kids pestering the local lumbering dolt Dod. 

Nothing to bring him closer to the murderer but those kids definitely needed a purpose… 


The interviews ate through the day and by early afternoon he decided to return to the keep for a nap and something other than 'crispy rat avec grease' for dinner. He planned to return to the shanty town to see who shows up at the bar that evening. 

Rested and "properly" fed Felix returned to the Drinking Shack. The place was crowded, not that it was hard to do, it is a shack after all. Our investigator received his usual warm welcome upon announcing his presence – a look, a grumble and back to whatever they were doing. Also as per usual, Felix took no note and went about his things. Nea was still present and more than willing to bend any ear. A few drinks and a couple of rounds for the patrons and Felix found himself playing cards and getting open dialogue. The night stretched on as the drinks continued to be drained. A good night but no fresh information. Felix was now a bit ‘lit up’. It was time to make his way back to the keep while he could still walk. 

"Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow will have better results", speaking to the night sky as he staggered out of the Drinking Shack into the cold and starry evening.

 

Normally being intoxicated undermines one’s ability to process the details of their surroundings. 

However, Felix is special with a big ‘S’. 

He caught a shadow from the corner of his eye, at just the right time, as he bumbled through a quiet alleyway. He spun to his left as a large rock just missed mashing his melon in. 

Turning he saw a hulking man with a mop (e.g. one of those mopey Ramones guys) haircut and a handle bar moustache.

“Who are you? Show yourself. Villian!”, exclaimed the investigator as he reached out into the shadows. His hand grabbed a handle bar that turned out to be only somewhat affixed allowing the offender to slip from grip. 

It was a disguise! His other hand shot out and pulled at the mop-top. It slid off and dropped into the snow. 

“Wait! You are the dolt - Dod!”. 

The hulking man said nothing. 

No longer the dumb-dumb it would seem as a mighty fist slammed into Felix’s solar plexus – Woof! 

He now had the eyes of a heartless serial murderer. 

The investigator raised his fists, “I was first class boxer in school you know”. 

Blows were traded. Over and over again. 

Never a word from Dod just a single-minded murderous focus. 

Swings and dodges by both. 

Over and over again.

The brute was skilled, very skilled. 

But. 

 

Felix really knew how to put up a defence and wait for an opening. 

After many brutal minutes Dod lay unconscious in the snow. 

Looking at the brute and then the large stone sharing the icy ground as a resting place Felix realized that the murders had been solved. He began yelling for the constabulary. 

Guards showed up and after some direction they bound the hulk and dragged him off to a holding cell. Our investigator finally got around to finishing his stumble back to the inn.

 

The following day.


Dod would hang.

Before the folk of the mining camp whom jeered the lout and cheered Felix, which was a welcome change. 

Dod did not concede to any prodding nor did he tell any secrets before stepping forth.

His body dropped and his neck snapped.

The people cheered and Felix had become a folk hero.

“Hmmm. I wonder if I should have interrogated him first? What if he was more than simply a monster…”. 

 

A few days later.

Ding-We and company returned to Liwil.

“Sir, I have great news!”

“Don’t care dork I have other business”

Felix made his way back to the drinking shack flanked by reprobate children.

He had friends after all.



The F-Team: Felix… and maybe some children if we really stretch it.

 

ROLECALL 

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II


RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty when we ask the questions:

Will Felix ever be in the limelight again?

            A: Let us be honest. All measures will be taken to avoid such an occurrence.

What plans does Felix’s Fight Club for Kids really entail?

Who does Swifta also work for and are they a problem?

Tale of the Tape

KILLS

Huge Harold aka Dod the Assassin 1000 

LOOT

A handful of gold nuggets

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