The Thing in the Murder Pit (Session 330)

SESSION 330: The Thing in the Pit 

Going deeper, that is where one finds answers but they come at a cost.

 

Day 841 Continued (Green Dome): There was one place left to go. The basement. The black pit. The hole in the structure where slag had burnt out the lower plane and then melted deep into the earth and where the Cthedrak had her thralls mining for some lost and perhaps not destroyed artifact. Where our companion Dolec Da had been liberated from. Now, it was the unexplored inky abyss. Would answers be found?

 

Regrouping our troop made their way down from the upper level and then to the winding stairwell to the lower floor and excavation area below. Once more Bimbles stopped before getting.. anywhere really. They had no plan. Down the steps they went to the count of ten. Oh! Bimbles remembered that they had caused more than a little destruction last they were here. He quickly stopped Camillus. The stairs beyond the tenth step no longer existed. A twenty foot drop would have been the next step. Shining his light down the cleric saw a shattered human body dressed in robes and a pointy hat now ruined by brain matter. “Hey, there is a dead wizard down there…and I cannot see anything beyond into the pit”. Raul quickly chirped some directions, “Take my rope of climbing and get down there we are getting cramped just standing in this stairwell”. The two tanks descended and Bimbles then shone his light into the pit. Nothing could be seen but a retching voice that slithered through broken glass filled their heads. “Mortals. Bother me not as I enjoy a mandated break period. Lunch will come to an end soon and I will return to my duties. Take your treasure. Be gone and hope never to face me. This conversation ends”. Bimbles tried to make reply but nothing returned but a deep sense of foreboding. They grabbed the dead mage and made retreat to the ground level. 

Raul and Bimbles were at a loss and then they remembered they had a body to loot. Some stuff was found but most interestingly was a talisman. 

A black stone, perfectly round and of absolute blackness somehow set, maybe floating, into a triangular piece of curious metal that had long extensions, perhaps handle like, coming from both base points. Herbert, a bit of a gemologist if he doesn’t say so himself, was completely perplexed by the stone in the set without bezel. “It has no mounting it is just there…and of a blackness more absolute than the most perfect onyx. Inconceivable..”. Raul was intrigued but time was not their ally, he wrapped the item and stowed it away. It was around now that Bimbles called for problem resolution.

 

New plan time. 

Raul would under a cloak of invisibility, ocular super power (true seeing) and other protections would slink down from which previously came the vile voice. Sneaky, sneaky time for our little megadungeon explorer. Down into the basement he went. He came to the edge of the melted edge of the lower floor and looked into the abyss below. The abyss looked back at him. In one hand was a mighty battle axe. Affixed by heavy chain on the other arm dangled a huge ruby. That was the last thing he remembered.

 

Raul appeared next standing before Bimbles and Camillus clutching a wand to his chest. 

KaBooom!

The whole group were consumed by a conflagration. Raul had a sickening grin on his scorched face. The rest of the team were completely demoralized, what the hell is going on!?!

KaBooom!

Raul set off another blast. Herbert and Willy ran with the last slivers of life within their bodies back upstairs. 

Complete disarray.

“By CROM! You fool’s he’s possessed!”, screamed Skullcrusher. Being from the Dreamlands he knew a thing or two about evil spirits. Bimbles changed up his plan of trying to beat Raul into submission, “Camillus guard me. I must kick ass with the power of my Lord not my mace”. Camillus, ever the courageous warrior, stepped into Bizarro Raul. “By the power of Spinning Stars and Moons I compel you entity from the body of my companion!”, incanted the cleric. He was heard and answered a moment before a likely third and final fireball detonated. Raul collapsed to the ground. Camillus and Bimbles grabbed the now unconscious Raul and began dragging him away. 

“RETREAT!!”

Once more they fled the green dome. Back into the forest a good half mile from the entrance before they stopped. Raul was conscious again but could only remember a prison full of red mist. Bimbles and Skullcrusher moved to attend to the many injuries.

What the Gehenna are we going to do?

 

 

The C (clearing)-Team: Bimbles, Raul, Camillus, Sasha, Willy, Herbert, Skullcrusher & Azucar

 

ROLECALL 

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 349007 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 281339 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

 

            The Henchmen

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 130426 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

Missing three teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  62068 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  37275 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Herbert the Master Gnome Trickster (G4) 17464 xp <30000> +5% CRT 1d8/III 

Skull-Crusher the Hellebardier of Crom (A4) 10438 xp <12000> +5% CRT 1d8/III

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 84319 xp <120000> +5% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

841 – C-Team (16.23 - 0703 The Doom of Cthedrak)

Domain Days

Gormandia: 2 (Start 838)

Bunnland:?

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Thirty-One when we ask the questions:

What is that Thing in the basement?

What is that Thing doing in the basement?

What are we going to do with the Thing in the basement?

Was it summoned by one of the two dead adventurers?

Was it bound and if it has escaped what can be done?

Tale of the Tape

Everything is not so mostly fine anymore and bound only to get worse, we were very close to a mass casualty event.

Unbeknownst to our gang help is nearby. Nara had flown to their basecamp.

KILLS

none

LOOT

Small assorted gems (10) 10gp each

Scroll: wall of ice, web, dispel magic, ventriloquism, detect magic

Travelling Spell Book: Magic missile, detect evil, detect invisibility, wizard lock

Mysterious Talisman

The Confines of the Flesh (Session 329)

SESSION 329: Rotting Ways 

This joint is really turning out to be a space-tomb

 

Day 840 Continued (16.23/0603): Bimbles made it a few steps before stopping, “Ah. I gotta  bad feelin’ about dis”. With that they did an about face and after a quick peak into the inky blackness of the stairs to the lower floor our brave hobos fell way back. About a third of a mile out the main door and into the forest. Here they setup their ‘Tiny Hut’, hunkered down and then the cleric called upon his deity for some divine guidance. 

During his commune he asked three questions. The outcome of which left him with mixed feelings.

            1) Is a divine caster occupying the Green Dome? – NO.

            2) Has the naga arisen from death? – NO.

            3) Was the cyclops chaotically aligned? – YES.

Bimbles and Raul reflected awhile on this before calling it a day. Better luck tomorrow becoming a common refrain.

 

Day 841 (Green Dome): Clear. Back into the green dome. It was redo time. But wait! Bimbles once more slowed things down. Before returning to the naga’s chamber upstairs they would check the two side chambers that were previously the Orc camp and slave storage. First, the slave storage. It was still a room filled with garbage, dirty pallets and bedrolls

strewn throughout the room, for enslaved workers. Across the corridor and into the Orc quarters. This did not seem to be much different but memory doesn’t always serve. They rolled in to search the chamber and stirred up a nest exceptionally hostile flying, blood sucking, electrical googly-eyed tadpole things.

 

Bimbles, Azucar and Camillus were swarmed. The lightly protected elf-berserker was quickly in trouble with a pair of the things stuck on his neck. Don’t worry fearless readers the creatures were defeated just before we lost another elf. The room and monsters offered nothing in measure of pay or knowledge. 

 

Now back up the stairs. Almost at the top were they. The smell was bad. As Bimbles was about to turn the final arc – Splooch. Yuck. He had stepped in a great mass of congealed and high oxidized bodily gunk. This was a lot of blood and perhaps other highly decomposed viscera. Oh and what a stink when his foot broke the ‘skin’ on the gunk. He was very close to turning around for a second time. Camillus gave him a shoulder pushing him up the last few steps. Their eyes came down on a portion of a human body. Missing from the chest up the opening sat at the edge of the top step. The gunk was obviously all the stuff that was inside this robust nearly half-man. The legs were armoured in metal and there was some plating around the portion. 

They scanned the rest of the chamber. Nothing looked super different and nothing immediately tried to kill them they proceeded into the foul (smelling) chamber stirring up clouds of flies. The chamber was about 50’ deep and nearly as wide. Along the northern wall was a nest of branches, leaves and torn cloth a low desk containing and the naga’s corpse. They team made their way into the chamber. Cthedrak’s has for some time been just a husk as the insides had long since been cleared out by the cleanup crew whom now used her as a shell to nest in. Our vibrations roused more than just clouds of flies. Out burst a half dozen 9’ long, 3’ high, many-legged, segmented worm-like things with tentacle ringed mouths. “Ahhh carrion crawlers”, yelled Herbert as he darted to the side of the chamber behind Skullcrusher whom screamed “By Crom I will squish you like the bugs you are!”. “We actually call them ‘carcass crawlers’ for copy right reasons”, pointed out Willy not currently controlled by Agolloch as these insect-things were really uninteresting. 

One-by-one hobos were paralyzed. Six of eight were down. Only Camillus and Bimbles were in the fight facing the last two crawlers…

With deep regret I must inform you that with the protection of heavy armor the two tanks were able to remove the final crawlers from the equation. After grabbing a breath Bimbles went about removing the paralytic condition from his companions he did not want to run into any more trouble. They finally got back to the work of searching the chamber. Raul was assigned the job of inspecting the carcass. He got himself a surprise.

                                        (Shouldn’t have stuck your arm in a dead snake-bitch Raul, ya twit)

Cthedrak’s final gift was a host of rot grubs that were now burrowing into Raul’s arm making haste for his heart. Bimbles rushed to his aid and cleansed the mega-dungeon explorer with a cure disease – praise Spinning Moons & Stars! In the end a bunch of gems were retrieved from the guts of the carrion crawlers. 

Back to work.

Next stop the basement. 

 

The C (clearing)-Team: Bimbles, Raul, Camillus, Sasha, Willy, Herbert, Skullcrusher & Azucar

 

ROLECALL 

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 348268 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 280600 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

 

            The Henchmen

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 130057 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

Missing three teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  61699 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  36906 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Herbert the Master Gnome Trickster (G4) 17095 xp <30000> +5% CRT 1d8/III 

Skull-Crusher the Hellebardier of Crom (A4) 10069 xp <12000> +5% CRT 1d8/III

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 83950 xp <120000> +5% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

840 – C-Team (16.23/0603 The Doom of Cthedrak)

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Thirty when we ask the questions:

Who has been messing with our spaceship?

Will the basement answer our questions?

Will the basement be full of horrors?

Why was Cthedrak excavating below? 

Tale of the Tape

Everything is still mostly normal, everything is still mostly fine

KILLS

Volts (15)

Carrion Crawlers (6)

Rot Grubs (11)

LOOT

Gems (15): 2000 gp total value

Return to Snake Dome (Session 328)

SESSION 328: One Big Eye, Everything is Starting Out Just Great

It was time to reclaim the Spaceship hex, should be easy we killed everyone last year.

 

Day 838 (Gormandiaà15.22/0806): Clear. It was a nice early Spring day. Ding-We wrecked it for eight unfortunate hobos, “Bimbles. Raul. Assemble a team it is most urgent that we secure the lands around the spaceship it will become your monastery!”.

The ‘C’ for clearing, not chumps as Biff suggested, team was assembled along with a small support crew.

They needed to travel about six miles passing past the toppled remains of the long forgotten king, Zaphisdreal the Magnificent, the last ruler of the Skeldrene Dynasty before it collapsed into Chaos and barbarism two Cycles previous. 

If we had a real sense of our geographical location we would know that we kinda lived in an interior region of the low North. That would explain the remnant snows that slowed travels. Along with the fact that troops and a couple of wagons were part of the expedition. The first day was gobbled up by travel and camp establishment in the sub-hex adjacent to the previously decimated Orcish, Festering Sore Clan, well-hidden village in the box canon.

 

Day 839 (15.22/0806à16.23/0304/0303àCamp): Drizzle. Spring brought constant showers this day. The group had been directed to pass by the orc lair before re-securing the spaceship. Ding-We had assured them that they had totally cleared the place and it was totally just a perfunctory endevour – guaranteed. 

Well. Not for the first or last time Peg-Leg was going to be wrong. Thye mob approached the box canyon via the western arm. The drizzle sorta obfuscated things. Willy was sent ahead to stealth scope the canyon. He was confused by what he saw. A hundred or so sheep penned just outside the canyon and an abundance of grape vines just within. Deeper within he could see a red glow but couldn’t define it until he caught sight of a gigantic arm wielding a man-sized wooden spoon. A huge cauldron sat upon embers slow cooking some sort of stew. He reported back to the crew. Bimbles had an idea. They scaled the side of the canyon to be above (~40’) the narrow entrance to the box canyon. The cleric yelled some stuff that eventually elicited a response once they repositioned themselves within line of sight for the stew cooker. 

Lumbering out came a cyclops of a strong twenty feet in height, “Nuthin bu mutton. Nuthin bu. You tell me you gots sump tin udder meat for me. Maybe you trade me little guy for two sheep?”. The hulk one-eyed Herbert hungrily. 

The hulk seemed friendly enough once you got past his willingness to eat our gnome. Raul and Bimbles were a little off balance with the circumstance. They ended up trading all the salted  meat the group had on hand along with two-hundred golden coins for a pair of sheep. “Hmm not bad. Def naut mutton. Yum”, the cyclops wandered back into the darkness of the box canyon. The team leaders didn’t rightly know what to do next. 

“Gonna take a little while to make a nice lamb stew”, came from Raul.

“Hmm. Your right… Back to camp! Lamb stew night!”, directed Bimbles as he turned towards camp. “I ain’t in a rush. Don’t want to strain anything working too hard”. 

Raul was not inclined to disagree.

That night the support crew presented a hearty potato, carrot and lamb stew to the assembled group. Steve’s special spices were missed but the red-wine broth helped alleviate that shortcoming. 

 

Day 840 (15.22à16.23/0403/0503/0603): Clear. The drizzle had stopped. Bimbles and Raul didn’t have a plan for the cyclops so they would travel along the northern boundary, and clear of monsters as required, of the hex to the spaceship. As they worked their way through the rolling hills an orc day camp was discovered as they crested the saddle of a non-particular hill. The foul beastmen were hunkered down in an extra shady col between hills. The orcs were doing their best to avoid the bright spring daylight. Things would turn very fatal for them in just a few moments. Digging through the corpses they found a better haul of coin than expected. Sasha felt that the orcs had been up to something the gold had been precisely stowed in two sacks. “It doesn’t take them long to get back to evil endeavours once you take the pressure off them”, offered Azucar. This seemed reasonable. The recently cleared bugbear lair was in the local vicinity. “They are the same everywhere. Moar murder’in is needed by Crom”, was Skullcrusher’s observation. “Yes kill! Kill! Kill”, shouted Willy’s underworked sword Agolloch. 

They pressed on to the obvious green dome of the spaceship that was less than a mile that way.

Along the way Sasha noted some large tracks associated with a pair of huge ass prints. Here interpretation was that two very large bipedal entities had taken a sit down against a couple of now broken trees and had a snack. Raul inquired if they were cyclops or regular giant tracks. The ranger could not say for sure, the previous days rain had mucked up the already not super fresh tracks. The info was filed away for future consideration and then the march continued to the presumed spaceship.

 

Sneaking up nothing looked interesting. All was intact. No noticeable tracks. 

They closed in on the large entry door. I did not want to open. 

“It worked so good last time..”,  Bimbles lamented. 

Raul recited an incantation and the enormous copper door opened shortly after an arcane knock. 

They were greeted by the lingering smell of rot fouled old air. The first inner chamber was, on the northern wall, bound by the curved interior surface of the dome, that formed the wall and ceiling. Both were constructed of a strange, translucent green stone that allowed filtered light to enter through the walls. The interior walls and floor of the dome were, in contrast to the outer shell, fashioned from a shiny black, stone-like material, closely resembling obsidian, that was absent of seams or any indication of tooling. The now very well dead orcs had set up a temporary shelter within the entrance hall; a rough framework of branches covered in animal hides – a dome within the dome. 

The shelter could have been more dilapidated but to Bimbles and Raul nothing rung as being different than they had left it months ago. 

No life beyond the many flies spawned from the carcasses. 

They moved through the chamber to the next door across the way. 

ZAP! 

Everyone except the rearguard had walked into a glyph and got themselves a good electrical jolt and then they found that this door did not want to open. Another incantation was required – knock. 

The door was opened and they were greeted by the buzz of awakened flies and definitely stale air with just a hint of decay.

The entrance hall was 20’ tall allowing the extending corridor to be bathed in sickly green light. Two doors of beaten copper, stood beyond. 

The floor between was littered with small bits of stone a well disturbed layer of dust and many, many dead flies.

Beyond, a corridor starts out ten feet wide, swooping gracefully out into a “Y” shape. At the end of each branch the walls double back in, forming open staircases; the one on the eastern wall descends down into darkness, the one on the western wall ascends up to the level above. 

 

It was way too much of a mess for Sasha or Raul to make heads or tails of any of the tracks. 

“Whoa up!”

Bimbles put a hand on Camillus’s shoulder before they progressed through the doorway. Another glyph was hidden from the normal eye but not divine sight. After detecting the trap the cleric spoke secret and powerful words granted from his deity. The glyph shattered like glass and then dissolved into vapour. The two tanks rolled in and past the doors. Bimbles was compelled to check the upper deck. As he and the fighter began ascending the winding stairwell he quietly hoped that the naga was well rotted and nothing else ‘snakey’ was slithering about.

The smell of rot was increasing with each step. 

 

The C (clearing)-Team: Bimbles, Raul, Camillus, Sasha, Willy, Herbert, Skullcrusher & Azucar

 

ROLECALL 

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 348268 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 280600 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

 

            The Henchmen

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 130057 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

Missing three teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  61699 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  36906 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Herbert the Master Gnome Trickster (G4) 17095 xp <30000> +5% CRT 1d8/III 

Skull-Crusher the Hellebardier of Crom (A4) 10069 xp <12000> +5% CRT 1d8/III

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 83950 xp <120000> +5% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

838 - Gormandia

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Nine when we ask the questions:

Should we evict the cyclops?

How do you evict a cyclops?

What were those orcs up to so early in the season and so close to our lands?

Has someone been messing with our spaceship?

Has the naga resurrected or arisen? 

Tale of the Tape

Everything is normal, everything is fine

KILLS

Orcs (17)

Orc reavers (2)

Orc Warband Commander

LOOT

2,000 golden sheckles

Stop Your Grinnin' and Drop Your Linen (Session 327a)

SESSION 327a (Addendum): Preparing for the Spring Murder Season 

Taking care of all the overdue business.

 

Day 807 thru 838 (Liwil/ Gormandia): After an evening of drinking the team sits down for some long overdue business. In hobbled the hobo accountant/ Peg-Legged Wizard, trailing a long form hobo-treasury document. He infirmed the crew that he had personalized chest made and loaded with back-pay waiting for all at the stronghold. He also announced a tidy bonuses for those most left in arrears. Even Biff, the surliest of union representatives, liked what he was hearing. This all made the second order of business pretty darn smooth. At this juncture in time all members of MurderHobos Incorporated signed on for another season of mayhem. Finally, they commenced to eat and drink the Liwil tavern out of stock. Good thing Spring and resupply was not all that far off.

In the coming days the vast bulk of the crew made their way to Gormandia to ride out the last month or so before they got back to murderin’. Staying in Liwil were the ‘wizards’. Potions were finished. Petrified companions re-fleshed. Spell books updated and completed. New incantations were researched and perfected. This all took about five weeks. As they finally ended the hobo occupation of the alchemist’s shop they provided final payment as Silves prepared to shut down for some much needed rest before he returned to the Stirgi village prior to his seasonal component collection (herb, fungi, etc.). 

Ding-We felt the spending of each coin personally and the community chest had been noticeably bitten into. At least he was up to date… just as the spell slingers and recently unpetrified began the journey to Gormandia they were intercepted at the gates of Liwil. 

Oh oh, it’s the ice Queen.. so hot.. but dang she was irritable. 

 

More human than human?

 It was the Knight Captain, Baldicar Ma’s daughter Anven. 

“Hello, friends and allies… I see that your Winter works have finally completed. As you recall… we the Basilisk Knights entered into a relationship with you, the MurderHobos rather than my preference… the fey folk. We had an agreement of a monthly stipend that is now well in arrears. I hope that it was your complex alchemical works that clouded your memory and not any possible disregard for agreements or our sacred order”. 

Anven, as usual, was not trying to hard to hide her disdain. 

Ding-We was real happy that Biff was not around as he would have fuelled this fire further. He offered humble apology as he turned round and proceeded to the keep, “I just happen to have a mountain of jewels, that I had most certainly earmarked for your noble order”. “I’m certain you did just that”, she rode through the gate turning up a bit more muck than necessary. 

After this final payout Ding-We and the wizardings made their way to Gormandia. The snows were rapidly receding as buds began to show. 

It would not be long until we got back to murdering.

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 384033 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 348268 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 380667 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 288390 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 280600 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 382525 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)                         

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 563915 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 339878 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T9) 189706 xp +5% <280001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8) 211959 xp <MAX> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L8) 207373 xp +10% <390000> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 117790 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 127113 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 130057 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

Missing three teeth

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 89220 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 48517 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Patriarch of Yrrrg. (C8) 102353 <200001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Champion (F7) 91388 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D6) 36770 <70000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 58518 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 85075 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  61699 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  36906 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F6) 37745 <64000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  56491 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Katre Elf-Girl and Swordsman Conjuror (E4) 16959 xp <32000> +0% CRT 1d8/II

Lady Versamage Knight Errant (K6) 66802 xp <85000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Herbert the Master Gnome Trickster (G4) 17095 xp <30000> +5% CRT 1d8/III 

Chung-Li the Elven Champion Sorcerer (E7) 140215 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Skull-Crusher the Hellebardier of Crom (A4) 10069 xp <12000> +5% CRT 1d8/III

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 83950 xp <120000> +5% CRT 1d8/II

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

807 – Everyone in Liwil!

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Eight when we ask the questions:

What are we doing next?

Tale of the Tape

Unpetrified: Captain Alemender. The band is now petrification free, for the time being..

KILLS

Just a mountain of our loot to fill a chasm of overdue bills & wages.

LOOT

-----

Meat Sandwich (Session 327)

SESSION 327: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.9: The Master’s Due Reward & Other Tales 

One last twist before concluding the Dreaming Caldera afterwards a whirl of time that found the whole divergent timeline thing finally resolved. All groups were once more in Liwil as Winter finally began to recede.

 

Day 772 Continued IV (Underworld): Fatigue set in as our clam diggers stepped into the Master’s chamber to collect their god-bit destruction reward. The Master congealed as they entered a gestalt of rats. “You have destroyed the Chaos God and now I once more live! Your reward is upon you. Feed your new god Barglobax. I hunger!”. “Ah come on! Shenanigans! Nothing but shenanigans!”, Bimbles was greatly dismayed as the Demon smashed all those around it. Grok died immediately, smeared into the floor. 

This was not time for mucking about, another mighty blow from the entity would entail more casualties. MurderHobos activate! They were fast and this ended up just being an aspect of Barglobax, not yet fully powered. Bimbles attempted to turn the infernal being, “Crud it is beyond the power of Spinning Stars and Moons. Smash it now!”. Dolec was once more a machine sundering the thing of rats after Bunny, Azucar, Saff, Blerp and Carla teed up the demon with a host of injuries. Rat bits everywhere. 

“You will not be forgotten defilers…. I ever hungerrrrr….”

Well that sucked much like most demonic bargains. Not only were they tricked but there was nothing other than dead rats and cultist crap in this chamber. They returned to the trash room and tossed the Badgerfolk summoning orb into the secret tunnel. A few hours later Enoki returned. Saffron was forced to release Blerp the Ogre as he would not fit in the tunnel and Enoki was very skeptical of having an ogre in her village. Saff was already majorly bummed that all she had left of her bugbear was an ear and now she had to send her favourite ogre home. It was done but she took a strip off the clerics. Bimbles made notes, he knew Rammer would also appreciate some of the crazed fairy’s curses. Down the badger hole they went.

 

Day 773 thru 787 (Badgerville): Carla called down TMB to bring life back into Lester’s corpse. It worked. During the paladin’s convalescence Azucar returned to his village to collect a conveyance for his two invalid elvish ‘brothers’. He returned with a reindeer drawn snow wagon (with his primary spellbook and more Elves..). Mazucar and Spazucar, along with a lot of coin were loaded for the return to the mysterious Mountain Elf village. Carla and Bunny sensed that Azucar behaved differently than his clansmen, not a totally aloof dick, and accurately assessed that he had been bitten by the wander bug. Bunny presented a proposition to Azucar and he accepted. For some period of time he did want to travel, explore, murder and get rich doing it. He bid his people fair travels before retiring with his beloved spellbook. 

Five days later our heroic gang set out for Newville.  

Day 788 thru 795 (BadgervilleàNewvilleàHelix): The first leg of what could be quite the journey was uneventful. They spent only to days in Newville. Just long enough for closing business, mostly trying to let down little Timmy softly – the hobo life is brutally short, just like you little fellow. Bimbles does not really understand eloquence. They almost made it back to Helix unscathed. 

The final night they were attacked by a band of trolls. In hindsight, perhaps having a virtually non-existent fire emboldened the gross rubbery beasts. The fight was a chaotic mess and Bunny’s pavilion was the lone casualty. Some coin and real nice jewelry softened the loss. Back in Helix they found that they had four squads of unmounted troops hanging around waiting for their new employers. Nice. Even better, Muzzah was very pleased with all the heroic work completed. So much so in fact he broke his “your strong enough now to take care of yourselves rule” and unstoned Nara and Charles. “Now get out of here… well until I have need of you again..”, Muzzah pointed at the door. A couple of days later the hobo legion set forth for Liwil – wagon train ho! 

Ding-We may have wanted different things the crew however wanted to return to the home lands and raise a dozen pints with friends long not seen. Winter was not over, only receding. They could get back to work when the first leaves of Spring showed themselves. 

 

Day 796 thru 806 (HelixàLiwil): One of the nice things about travelling with an army is that even though you cannot hide your presence your presence dissuades many encounters. Only the most foul and powerful (or mindless) would consider predating on such a force. Winter’s grip now well loosened meant that the most formidable frozen hunters had withdrawn back to the northern wastes and the killers of the warm months slumbered yet. 

There were a small number of perfunctory clashes. 

Lumbering dead insatiable and mindless. 

Haranguing beastmen whom broke at  the first sign of force.

Animals moved well away, only distant howls.

No men, neither brigand nor crazed wizard they all rested around stone hearths plotting future malevolence.

Yes, this was solely the time of the traveling fools and none surpass our hobo army.

Perhaps a cold and calculating eye(s) assessed our ambling mob, making observation and cataloguing for future endeavour…

Ten days after setting out as the buds began to ripen Bunny and the vanguard caught first sight of Liwil. 

In a few short hours MurderHobos Incorporated would finally be reunited for the first time in many months. 

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara, Lester & Azucar

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 380989 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 345224 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 336834 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 210437 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

UN-PETRIFIED - Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

UN-PETRIFIED - Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 83553 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

UnDEADed - Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  54969 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 82428 xp <120000> +5% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

806 late afternoon at end back in Liwil

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Eight when we ask the questions:

What is next for our massive horde of MurderHobos?

Should we add Barglogax to the list of entities bound to seek bloody vengeance at some point in the future?

Tale of the Tape

Lester the Paladin of Oceana sundered by Gnolls and then raised. Praise TMB!

Nara and Charles ended their stay at the petrification hotel. Praise Muzzah!

Enslaved by Saffron: Blerp the Ogre was released & Grok the Bugbear was splatted & Chory the Dwarf is still gone.

Troops recruited (Bunny): Crossbowmen (20), Archers (20), Heavy Footman (40) plus commanders 

KILLS

Aspect of Barglobax 

Trolls (8) 

LOOT

Finally decided to open the Heckling’s sack.. thieves reaping a thief’s benefits

442 pp

690 gp

910 sp

Assorted gems and jewelry worth 2900 gp

6000 gp

Jewelry (7) 1300,400,500,1200,1300,900,1300 = 6900 gp

Travesty as Usual (Session 326)

SESSION 326: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.8: …And the Crowd Goes Wild 

(Chaos) God is dead and its servitors were real unhappy with that.

 

Day 772 Continued III (Underworld): With the chaos god slowly devolving into soup Blerp the ogre pointed out that the music had stopped and the crowd in the theatre were stirring into a fanatical rage. Saff & Azucar were sent through the illusory barrier (nullifying it) between chambers. The audience were not happy. The smarter of which saw our two stinkers and began yelling fowl things. It would not take long before the mob goes wild.

The first of four fireballs, during this grand melee, was discharged from a wand into the middle of the theatre. There was over a hundred of the Chaos God’s minions present. A good many were consumed in the conflagration but many more remained and they now saw the blasphemers. Sure some of the rabble had their moral broken but many others streamed towards the stage once they regained their bearings. The rest of our hobo gang streamed out of the god-chamber and covered the stage. In hindsight this choice really exposed them to all the remaining forces of evil. The harpies began to sing and they ensnared Bimbles. Concurrent with that the Acolytes were able to ‘hold’ the charmed Bimbles, Dolec and Lester. The paladin faced the worst of it as multiple gnolls delighted in burying their blades deep into the holy warrior. The second fireball was released killing the evil clerics of chaos. This ended their paralyzing grip on the three at the front of the stage. Blerp was holding the bugbears on one side of the stage as Azucar held the gnolls on the other. Saff helped out by knocking down six of the gnolls with a sleep spell. Then Dolec and Lester were held again as the acolytes continued to undermine the hobo frontline. Lester was turned into a piñata he was standing dead as his fluids sprayed from his many holes.

                                    “Why… did I ever come to the surface world?.....”

 

Our hobos kept ending up a step behind the opposition. Saff loosed another fireball once more ending the ‘hold’. During this time Bimbles wandered off to join his new masters, the gross but topless harpies. Carla stepped into the gap left by the fallen Lester. Bunny leapt onto the wall and crept upwards and across the ceiling trying to catch up with a now disarmed Bimbles that was wandering away with his skanks. Dolec jumped off the stage to better wade through the beastmen. Blerp was holding the line but needed help, so Saff made a new best friend Grok the bugbear. This allowed the ogre to smash the remaining pair of buggies. Being joined by Dolec made Azucar’s job much easier and the gnolls were doomed. Bunny dropped one of the last two harpies. The last fled as Carla was able to dispel Bimbles’s enthrallment. 

The fight had now run its course. The theatre was a smoldering pit of carnage. 

The hobos victorious once more but for the first time in a long while they were reminded of the cost of recklessness.

Bandaging and looting followed. The fireballs had likely incinerated a bunch of loot but they still came up with a bunch of coin, gems, jewelry and a couple of neat items (axe and trident). They then fell back to the god-chamber and had Blerp yank out the huge golden heart, about 85 lbs. of solid gold soldiers pay. The heart was strapped to his back and he once more picked up the two desiccated elves in rocking chairs. Grok slung dead Lester over his shoulder. Saff’s two henchmen fell into the back of the line as our gang pressed on. Next stop pickup Saff’s dwarf. She really was building quite the entourage. 

They were wary that the Sisters could be on the prowl and took measures to determine such. The corridors were strangely, some would say eerily, quiet. No dragons. Returning to the Blood Bank, Chory the dwarf was gone (and so was his chest). Presumably things probably got dangerous when the music stopped. 

Disappointed they began a very circuitous trip that ended before the Master’s chamber once more. “We ain’t done gettin’ paid yet”, Bimbles eyes sparkled with the true avarice of a MurderHobo.

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara, Lester & Azucar

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 363590 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 327825 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 319435 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 201739 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

PETRIFIED - Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

PETRIFIED - Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 74855 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

DEAD - Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  52155 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6)

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

766a (Bunny Group Newville/ Dreaming Caldera) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Seven when we ask the questions:

What fabulous award awaits us for smiting god-bits?

Where are the Sisters?

Is the joint super quiet because everything is dead or gone?

Tale of the Tape

Lester the Paladin of Oceana sundered by Gnolls

Nara and Charles continue their stay at the petrification hotel.

Enslaved by Saffron: Blerp the Ogre & Grok the Bugbear & Chory the Dwarf (but we don’t know where he is)

KILLS

Orcs (10) 

Gnolls (20) 

Acolytes (20) 

Goblins (10) 

Bugbears (9) 

Harpies (4) 

Ogres (5) 

LOOT

Golden Heart (85 lbs.) 60,000 gp

3,000 gp

6,000 sp

Gems (2): Flawed pearl 10, Wonderful Ruby 1000

Jewelry (3): platinum earrings 1100 gp, gold and diamond tiara 1400 gp, intricate gold bracelet 800 gp = 3300 gp 

Scroll: Protection from Lycanthropes

Hand axe of  XXXX?

Trident of  XXXX?