Another Day, Another Blasphemy (Session 293)

SESSION 293:  Siege on the Gangrenous Pt. XXXIV – Siege on Aman Marath IX: Going Down Pt. II – Super Secret Scallop Base of Evil

Exterminate all cultists! Into the heart of the Temple of the D(amned)agon.

 

Day 259 Continued III (Below the Lighthouse): Boris and Raul were game to finish this. They would press on, after loading Raul of the broken knee into the first dinghy. Ramrod was complaining about his soaked shoes but he was drowned out by the continuous cacophony of the waterfalls in the system and the cheers of the hired guns. Ramrod disappeared from sight once more (invisibility) and began wading along the chamber wall to the south. Coming to a junction they continued south into another cavern. It was something of a foyer leading to steps up to an even larger chamber that was very dimly lit by a sickly reddish pink phosphoresce.   

The group moved into the antechamber and hunkered down around the corner from the clearly very well worn steps. Rammer scouted ahead. 

He could not quite wrap his head around his first observation. A colossal scallop rising out of the muck. Open and likely dead. The space between the bivalves plates was sealed with hardened (petrified?) pale pink putrescent tissue. Set within was a pair of doors. Before he could move up for further assessment he caught sight of a shadow coning from around the perimeter of the shell lair. Four pirates in a conversation with a trio of weird taking guys. The latter were cultists physically corrupted by their briny deity. The thief slunk back to the gang. They came up with a lightning murder round and executed the plan with efficiency. They even scored a pair of pirate captives that were more than happy to spill their guts rather than die for some creepy fish-guys. 

Stu and Pidass confirmed that this was the real Dagonite temple, office, base but they had never been inside as they were not members. Also noted was that the high priest was Sir Keven and he would be found inside. They were here to simply present the manifest from the creepy black ship of the Moon-beasts. The two seemed to be pretty mercenary and simply did what they did for gems, rum and a sailors life – Yo ho ho! Camillus tied them up and sat the pirates in a corner, “We’ll be back”. 

The doors were cut into the portion of the lower plate that jutted from the muck. They opened with ease. Inside, nary a corner to be spied. All the surfaces were dried, petrified and polished to a smooth sheen. The ceiling seemed to be uniform in height, about eighteen feet, and composed of the same dried musculature that created the other surfaces. The floor gave away the fact this was a gross lair for corrupted entities, it was covered in about four inches of thick muck. “Let’s get this done”, was Boris’s directive. They marched around the eastern perimeter passing a closed door and a couple of passageways. As they rounded their way around the backside of the shell lair there were a pair of monstrous crayfish. The crustaceans were chained to either side of a spiraling passage likely leading to a chamber. 

Ramrod used his spider climbing ability to sneak his way past along the shadowy ceiling. The passage did indeed spiral its way into a chamber. This was a priests chamber. Sir Keven of Dagon to be particular but this was not known quite yet. The high priest was clad in plate and kneeling before a fell idol. The chamber was very minimalistic a bed, chest and shrine. The walls were covered in the scrawlings of a mad man and there was a stink of salt and blood emanating from mix of fetid water and muck covering the floor. Rammer could not pass up on the opportunity to stick his blade into an unexpecting back. He slunk and then crept into position the priests crazy prayers coving any possible slurping of the thief’s steps through the mush. “Murder Powers Activate!”, he shouted as his blade came down like the sword of Damocles. The rest of the gang heard the call and moved on the crayfish. Much to Ramrod’s irritation it slipped at the last second and missed the ideal armour penetrating stabbing hole. Sir Keven screamed as he rolled and came to his feet before his would be assassin. Ramrod hissed that he bumbled the hit and now would have to fight fair. Sir Keven was far less man and far more deep thing. Bug eyes, green flesh, collapsed face and wicked bad dead fish and other rotting meat breath. 

The ruckus rolled on. Ramrod traded blows with the Sir Keven and his fish-headed mace as the rest of the team took care of the crayfish. Both battles ended rather quickly but the ruckus would not go unnoticed. 

As Ramrod assessed the dead cultist’s chest the rear guards, now hunkered down behind the mutilated crustaceans, entered into another melee with a host of Dagonites – “Surfacers! Blasphemers! “To arms!!”. The hobos were doing a good job of creating a choke point limiting the cultists to only an obscured frontal battle. There were two priests in the back whom took off to collect more help as they could not affect the fight at hand. The priests returned a bit later with some other friends whom all fell to our MurderHobos. 

We reached a break in the action. 

Ramrod detected and bypassed a trap on the chest, it would have been easier and faster to search Dead Sir Keven for the key hanging from his cold fish neck before going through the process. The chest was full of gems that were quickly loaded into sacks along with the cultist’s mace and staff. Fatigue had well set in but the gang were on a roll. They stepped out of the chamber and over all the corpses pondering their next move.

 

The B-Team: Boris, Ramrod, Raul, Sloth, Willy, Sasha, Wendul, Gurn, Katre, Herbert, Camillus, Lady Versamage & Skull-Crusher

 

ROLECALL 

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 273427 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 375352 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)                         

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T9) 182533 xp +5% <280001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Sloth the Bopper (L8) 203747 xp +10% <390000> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Missing ten teeth

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 128456 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

Missing three teeth

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 33144 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 54892 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  58073 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  33280 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Katre Elf-Girl and Swordsman Conjuror (E3) 13333 xp <16000> +0% CRT 1d8/II

Lady Versamage Knight Errant (K6) 63176 xp <85000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Herbert the Gnomish Trickster (G3) 12569 xp <12000> +5% CRT 1d8/III 

Skull-Crusher the Gardist of Crom (A3) 6143 xp <6000> +5% CRT 1d8/III

 

RESERVES

empty

Elapsed Campaign Time

(702 b) days at beginning of session (Dreamlands)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

707d (Ding-We Gang Liwil)

 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Ninety-Four when we ask the questions:

What else lurks in the scallop base?

How long will this day last (+9hrs and counting)?

Will our henchmen demand overtime pay?

Tale of the Tape

Raul keeps hoping around with a broken kneecap (½ mve)

KILLS

Pirates (4) two captured 

Dagonite Soldiers (11) 

Cultists (under priests) of Dagon (5) 

Monsterous Crayfish (2) 

Sir Keven High Priest of Dagon Dreamlands SE Chapter 

LOOT

Gems (90) 50 gp each= 4500 gp

Fish-Head Mace +1

Staff of  XXXX

Boots Full of Brine Makes Me Murder All the Time (Session 292)

SESSION 292:  Siege on the Gangrenous Pt. XXXIII – Siege on Aman Marath VIII: Going Down Pt. I

Continued from S. 285. Things are getting complicated with so many teams. This group does something, probably lootin' n' killin.

Day 259 Continued II (Below the Lighthouse): Down the hole they went to the wetted underworld. The water was about three feet deep with a firm current going to the west. By the sounds of things there was a waterfall beyond. They would go the other way but they needed to figure away for the little folks to navigate the watery cave system. It took some time until they remembered seeing a pair of dinghies on the pirate ship. So they wasted an hour collecting and then getting the things down the hole. Good thing it was rather wide. 

And so the Lucky Thirteen began to explore the brine fed cave system. Working around the north east, counter to the current. Sloth pulled the two small boats. The first carrying the feeble group the second awaiting treasure. They came to a dead water chamber where silt, muck and mud has been deposited and built up an uneven floor. Living in this goop were five humungous hermit crabs just waiting for dinner to walk on in. 

Crab fight! 

Aside from Sasha losing a trio of chicklets and the band getting some other pinches the battle was short lived. They hung around to dig in the muck and were rewarded with six large pearls. The next chamber had actual exposed solid ground. Upon it was the remnants of a campsite. The walls behind were strangely slick and there was a gleaming polearm just leaning against the wall. Raul immediately suspected another oozey ambush in the making. He was correct and they dealt with the threat before coming ashore. The polearm was a find. Runes identified it as Grimcleaver and it was a masterwork of ancient elven construction. A little further rooting around also resulted in a bag of coin. Most unusual as the Dreamlands roll on the gem standard.

Moving along the next chamber was empty but gave hint to what was beyond. The sound of rushing water and a related inflow current of some gusto. Beyond was a quartz lined cavern with a tunnel delivering ocean waters with every crash of the waves on the island. Boris noted that a dwarf could get rich extracting the mineral but it would be challenging. There was a southern exit from the area into a large chamber with oddly melted stalagmites and stalactites. 

Hiding in plain sight amongst these formations were Helen and Stanley Roper. 

The abominations were patient. Waiting for the dinner guests to fully enter the cavern and be located conveniently between the both of them. The ropers sprung to action, each sending out a half dozen tentacles to grab and retract a morsel to their preposterously huge and toothy maws (large enough to swallow a dwarf and hardly notice). The tentacles were covered in a gunk with a contact poison that immediately weakened any that were slimed. Things went real bad immediately. At least the din of battle was more than partially covered by clamour of waters entering the quartz chamber behind. Sloth ran in and was brutalized. He was not the first. The slaughter ran long but no hobo fell. With the Ropers eradicated and gutted for loot, seventeen assorted gems, the Lucky Thirteen debated their next move.

All signs pointed to them being undetected presently. It would likely not be long before their trail of carnage was discovered and things would heat up, turning all future actions into a head-on siege. They were however beaten up and low on resources. 

 

The B-Team: Boris, Ramrod, Raul, Sloth, Willy, Sasha, Wendul, Gurn, Katre, Herbert, Camillus, Lady Versamage & Skull-Crusher

 

ROLECALL 

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 273427 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 375352 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)                         

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T9) 182533 xp +5% <280001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Sloth the Bopper (L8) 203747 xp +10% <390000> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Missing ten teeth

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 128456 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

   Missing three teeth

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 33144 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 54892 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  58073 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  33280 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Katre Elf-Girl and Swordsman Conjuror (E3) 13333 xp <16000> +0% CRT 1d8/II

Lady Versamage Knight Errant (K6) 63176 xp <85000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Herbert the Gnomish Trickster (G3) 12569 xp <12000> +5% CRT 1d8/III 

Skull-Crusher the Gardist of Crom (A3) 6143 xp <6000> +5% CRT 1d8/III

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

(702 b) days at beginning of session (Dreamlands)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

707d (Ding-We Gang Liwil)

 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Ninety-Three when we ask the questions:

Do we stay or do we go?

Tale of the Tape

Sasha has joined the anti-teeth movement after losing three from a crab pincher to the face

Raul used a leg to prevent Helen from eating him it resulted in a broken kneecap ½ mve

KILLS

Monsterous hermit crabs (5) 

Crystal ooze 

Helen & Stanley Roper 

LOOT

245 gp

Gems (17): 10,50,500,500,10,10,10,100,50,100,10,50,100,500,500,50,1000 = 3550

Pearls Large (6) 500 gp each

Grimcleaver +3 polearm ESPx2/day

Snake Chicks Meet the Sword (Session 291)

SESSION 291:  No More Snakes! 

The D-Team fights their way into the snake-chick lair hoping to finally terminate the keepers of the stone garden.

 

Day 266 (CampàSnake Chick Hole): Biff and BoB showed up with Mason not too late into this bright and crisp Winter day. Ding-We after flopping and flipping declared they would take a run at the medusa lair. They had already killed momma and three daughters. The wizard felt they had odds that the rotters were eliminated without having to face them in lair. Time will tell but we know the universe hates smug hobos. 

The two or so mile hike was uneventful. They stood before the cavern entrance. The dead daughters were no longer present before the partially hidden portal. They pulled out their lights and entered. Once more they choose the corridor out of the entry rather than the descending steps. Things did not seem any different than last left. Mason cast silence on the group and then they retraced their steps further down the corridor. Just before the jog leading to the library and extending passage the cleric once more called down the grace of Yrrgg. An explosive glyph, in case anything came from behind. Remember the gargoyles? Well they showed up from different angles when the gang reached the passage to the library. FWOOOSH! It was the glyph going off. Stepping to engage from the library was a brute of a gargoyle to engage with Mason. Evil hates goodie goodies. Moments later three four-armed variants slammed into the back of the party. From somewhere unseen there was another (at least) that hurled spells. A darkness globe in particular. 

This made things messy. 

But, are not all things messy when you deal with muderhobos?        

Battle raged. The fourgoyles showed they were a force to reckon with and the brute realized that he had stepped into a murderhobo nest. The hidden associate(s) could not provide sufficient aid. Goyles began a droppin’. Seve sensed that the unseen attacked from the farside of the library. The bugger made off leaving not-so-smart Stevie scratching his head at a crossroad. Ding-We called him back and they instead pressed further along the original passage. This lead to a pair of large stone doors. Dwarven doors as a matter of fact. Depicting dwarves fighting snake-men. 

Why did it need to be snake-men? 

The wizard, fighter and dwarf were filled with unease as visions of Carcosa flooded into their minds. “Wake up ya dolt! Let’s get these doors open and get back to killing”, Rhags pushing Steve back to what he is good at. The busted open the door. Beyond was a den of evil. An ancient dwarven tomb defiled by agents of chaos. A wave of sickness washed over the agents of law. Biff did not give a fart, go figure. Shortly they would discover that two more daughters existed. Until then the gang thought it was easy loot time.

They pressed in. 

BoB disappeared off to the side. Biff held the door. The rest moved into the chamber. It was an ancient dwarven tomb now defiled and wicked. Smashed statues of diminutive heroes littered the floor along with the glimmer of something else (ancient coin). Four braziers smoldered casting a sickly red glow to the central channel. Steps flanked on both sides leading presumably up the final resting places of long forgotten dwarves. Steve and Rhags led the spellcasters to the first crypt. Interred inside was a humanoid shape draped in gauze upon a stone plinth. They figured it to be one of the previously eliminated daughters. Falling back to examine the next chamber. Twang! Fa-Zip! Ouchy! Steve was tagged by an arrow that caused his heart to stop for just a moment. His armour had prevented penetration. The poison arrow would have meant death if it had done more than graze him. 

There was another snake-daughter. 

Firing from a darkened crypt on the other side of the chamber. 

Rhags rushed towards the darkness, with Steve not far behind. Ding-We and the casters huddled together like wussies. Another shot came from yet another crypt. “For crying out loud what the hell did Hargarath do with her spare time?!”, came from an exasperated wizard. “She did a lotta porkin’”, hollered back Rhags as he jumped up the steps and into darkness. Arrows flew and snakes snapped but the bravery of our swords and the sneaky B&B missile response brought down the final (?) two evil daughters as the soft spellcasters hid behind a wall of divine darkness once they realized the daughters of the snake were directly targeting them. 

Somehow.

Someway.

Some luck.

All of our chumps lived to chimp another day.

The group, except for Mason and Steve, went on to the search for secrets and pay.

Stevie got down the dangerous and dirty work of determining if the medusa heads were salvageable.

There was no shortage. The medusae had accumulated as well as stolen a small fortune.

Mason could not shake the deep sense of foulness lingering in the tomb.

“We must cleanse this place!”, exclaimed the Lama of Yrrgg rallying against the sickness of this defiled place.

Ding-We did not like this prospect as these types of things require rituals and those take time and the day was waning. “This pit of evil cannot be allowed to remain a moment longer. This cess pool is a magnet for more minions if darkness”, Mason was getting his holy on. “Hey Jumpy. I don’t care for this. Solidarity with the little guy!”, Rhags clearly stepping up to second Mason’s intention. It looked like we would not be leaving this ancient tomb quite yet. 

 

Not the first time we found ourself in a wicked sepulchre longer than desired.

 

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 326064 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 233287 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                      

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 515312 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 102620 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 78549 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Stoned- Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F6) 37745 <64000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Elapsed Campaign Time

(702 b) days at beginning of session (Dreamlands)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

706d (Ding-We Gang Liwil)

 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Ninety-Two when we ask the questions:

Did Steve salvage any heads?

Will we get the cleansing process done without unwanted entanglement?

Are they all finally dead?

Did snake-men destroy the dwarven home of Gunderholfen?

They must be long dead, right?

They don’t always portend Carcosan misery do they?

Tale of the Tape

Lucky monkeys.

KILLS

Fourgoyles (3) 

Margoyle 

Dadil 

Leeli 

LOOT (payday!)

7200 sp                       

2000 ep                       

3150 gp                      

1200 pp                       

Jewelry (5) 5000 gp total

Wrought gold clasp 800 gp

Gold necklace w/ Lapis Lazuli 1000 gp

Gold chain 600 gp

Sliver clasp set w/ Pearls 1100 gp

Gold necklace set with moonstones 1500 gp

Gems (4): 1025 gp total

            Bloodstone 75 gp

            Amethyst 100 gp

            Tourmaline 100 gp

            Star sapphire 750 gp

Dwarven chain mail ancient +3

Dwarven short sword +3 

Dwarven battle axe +1

Dwarven war hammer +1

Dwarven sword +1

Gross. Who Dropped that Yule Log? (Session 290)

SESSION 290:  Merry Mayhem the End (Season’s Beatings Pt. III) 

Coming face to face with a great bumble of a beast along with the great rotter. The king of sinful sots. With his termite smile and brain full of spiders, it was Orcus Claws!

 

Day 248 Continued (Claws’s Workshop): Taking a quick look at the stolen metals storage chamber they cleaned their blades and pressed on. A natural passage. Reaching a junction they continued on rather than moving into the noisy noisy noisy workshop. They came to the filthy and gross living quarters of the crueltide elves. Beyond the yicky stuff there were three crueltide elves and Thrasher one of the demonic reindeer playing dice. The prize was an already taste tested purple-winged fairy. Saffron made it clear there would be no parlay, “Listen up you mother fuckers! Any of you don’t move and I’ll execute every last one of ya! Ain’t no one but me that gonna eat some sweet meat”. Remember, she is cra-cra so it could just be simple cannibalism…. The fight was on. Thrasher blasted his fire breath at the hobos rolling in from the corridor before he attempted to impale Bunny. The thief jumped on and held for dear life. The fight was quick. The fairy was Sugarplum and she wanted only to repay for her freedom before getting the hell outta dodge,” Over there is a secret wall and if you go through the workshop it will lead you to him. I will do my best to forget you all almost immediately”. Sugarplum disappeared as twitty hobos tried to get more than she was giving. 

The secret wall hid coin, gems and a frosty dagger not all that dissimilar to the snowmen carrot stabbing noses. The room was really gross. 

The hobos did not, for once, dither about. Like a red tide they streamed into the cacophonous workshop. 

Noise, noise, noise! 

Great crude machines and conveyors have been set up and dozens of Crueltide elves worked ceaselessly to craft the most wicked tools of mass slaughter you’ve ever seen. Two of the Crueltide elves wander up and down the center of the chamber between two rows of workstations. One has a blazing red beard and carries a bloody pickaxe, while the other holds a tiny pair of pliers and has a long shock of dull yellow hair. All work suddenly stops, though the machinery continues to rattle. The two foreman elves turn and look at you and your companions, the red-haired elf twirling his pickaxe wickedly.

“Back to work, wretches! The Dentist and I will handle this!” The Crueltide elves return to their work at his command, though with only a halfhearted effort as they await the ensuing carnage. 

The two unusually extra-wicked crueltide elves charged with abandon into the frontline. Carla, showing uncommon courage, stepped into the fray and was rewarded with Nokuy the Red burying his pick axe in her chest. The fight wa quick and triggered a mass exodus as the worker goblins.. err Crueltide elves nearly crushed Bimbles in the passageway as they fled their evil master. 

The workshop led to the stables and another larger chamber beyond. Before we would reach that, final, chamber they faced two more demonic reindeer – Pounder and Chaos. The hobos pressed hard and finished things expediently. Now they came to the sleigh hanger and final boss, Orcus Claws. 

The largest chamber in the entire complex of caverns. A large red sleigh sits in the center of the room, easily 30feet long and equally wide. Hitched to the sleigh are four demonic reindeer that snort and champ, clearly eager to act. Standing astride the bench on the front of the sleigh is a massive, bloated creature that looks like the terrible union of some forgotten goblinoid beast and an abyssal servant from the deepest part of Hell. Corpulent and wearing a long red mantle that is little more than a bloody rag. It raises a staff of bone topped with a half-shattered human skull and lets out a low chortle. 

Chained to the wall is a terrible thing, a cross between a frost giant and some infernal polar

bear. 

“You’ve been naughty, and I’ll deal with you soon enough, but I’ve got packages to deliver to all the News down in Newville. It’s time for my sleigh ride … or should I say, slay ride. But don’t worry, Orcus’ Claws has a present, even for naughty boys and girls.” raising his staff and singing in a twisted, infernal voice. The chains binding the terrible beast withered

away to nothing. The massive, white-furred monster let out another earthshaking scream and charged. Orcus’ Claws returned to his preparations. 

It seemed that the clock was now ticking.

The snowbeast charged into Charles and Dolec and Orcus sung an infernal song of beguiling, “Bloody Solstice to all, and to all a great blight!”. 

This song would turn allies into enemies and the fat bastard would not quit singing variations of this, even when engulfed in an insect plague. Carla did try her best, from afar.

Lester summoned berserkers to aid the efforts. Half of which fell to the morbid tales of OC’s deadly dance. This was going to be tough but there were some advantages to play. 

The beast was mindless. Orcus Claws was distracted with the sleigh launching process and Rancid, Putrid, Damner and Vicious were hitched to the sleigh so they could not seek out sweet hobo flesh. Nevertheless the fight was pretty brutal, you should have been there. 

The hobos had not made much effort to preserve their resources for the final battle. 

Nara was out of brain power and just had to go in kicking. 

The clerics were down to low level healing and a flamestrike which proved timely when the snowbeast got into the pillar of holy fire. 

When the abominable finally snowbeast fell the sleigh was rocking. 

At any moment Orcus Claws would take to the sky to rain death down upon the (predominantly) wee-folk of Newville. The hobos began the long run to the sleigh. Orcus kept singing and friends kept going rogue. 

Charles mashed Bimbles’s face into mush, berserker turned berserker, Bunny attacked Saff and then Saff attempted to perforate Bunny. 

Then. 

Unlikely combatants went face-to-face with Orcus Claws to prevent his nightflight from Hell (yes, feel the Boney M). Bunny and Nara surrounded the corpulent entity. OC swung his mighty skull topped mace and attempted to puncture with his tail mounted death delivery system. The girls were one with the force and dodged his very likely to be terminal blows. Kick, kick, stab and then other stuff. Luck was still with the hobos they were beating down Claws. His plans of raining down mass death were ruined so he would present a final present. He went Islamic. OC called forth an infernal ball of fire and tossed it into his sack of crueltide contraptions. 

Ka-Blam! or Big BOOM. Whatever your pleasure.

Fire and shrapnel everywhere. The sleigh was obliterated and Orcus and his reindeer were no longer on this Earth. The hobos, miraculously, were not dead. 

Not a single one. 

I no longer know what passes for Winter Solstice cheer...

Orcus Claws and his minions had been defeated and our gang returned to Newville as heroes.

 

All the News were holding hands around the Festival Tree and singing a soulful, but slightly annoying song of celebration. Lucinda New and the rest of the townsfolk thanked our hobos heartily, and the mayor offered to build a cottage for them to use in Newville. She asked one last favor from the Heroes of Newville, “Will you stay in Newville for the season and help the villagers rebuild the damage Orcus’ Claws and his Crueltide elves did to the village? Carla, Nara and Lester quickly accepted. Drowning out Bimbles’s grumbles.  

It was a surprisingly mild winter filled with good cheer and better food. A great many small miracles occurred during those months, including Small Sam learning to walk without his crutches, Sheriff Wourelle finding his courage, and at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Day, the Shrine of Father Newvus miraculously became whole and unstained again. After a season of simple, hard work the murderhobos would find their hearts were evermore filled with good cheer in times of darkness and could resist any fear unlike before.

 

Spring did eventually arrive (ninety days later) and the gang collected young Sam, whom Bunny and Nara had been training during their free time, and  once more our band stepped into the wilds to return to Helix.

“I wonder what we missed”, mused Charles.

“Probably just death and dismemberment”, came from Dolec.

“What kinda operation is this?”, Lester was finally beginning to see the folly of his ways.

“Better than being sacrificed to an indescribable blob thing by your father and also still being second in line to your sister”, the normally not so creepy Nara.

“Peggy-leggy probably did something dumb”, was Saffron’s unexpectedly astute addition.

Lester was very happy the fairy had stepped up as the nearly naked purple girl had scared him.

“Probably”, was all Bunny had to say.

Bimbles shut things down with a grumble, “Can we not be rid of this horde of sausage fingers?”.

“Bu…ah…um…”, Sammy was catching on and did not elicit further grump from the cleric.

Carla pointed towards the south. She was not going to get dragged into this. She was a high priestess of TMB after all.

 

If they were lucky a giant or two would be found on the way.

 

The CBB-Team: Carla, Bimbles, Bunny, Saffron, Charles, Dolec, Nara & Lester

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 356271 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 320506 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 326064 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 233287 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 272840 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 374765 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)                         

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 515312 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 312116 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T9) 181946 xp +5% <280001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 198080 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L8) 203454 xp +10% <390000> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 112609 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 102620 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 128163 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 64817 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 78549 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 86207 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 32851 <36000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 54599 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 71196 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  57780 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  32987 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 103411 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F6) 37745 <64000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  48456 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Katre Elf-Girl and Swordsman Conjuror (E3) 13040 xp <16000> +0% CRT 1d8/II

Lady Versamage Knight Errant (K6) 62883 xp <85000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Herbert the Gnomish Trickster (G3) 12276 xp <12000> +5% CRT XXXX

Skull-Crusher (A3) 5850 xp <6000> +5% CRT XXXX

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

(702 b) days at beginning of session (Dreamlands)

689a (Bunny Group Newville)

706d (Ding-We Gang Liwil)

 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Ninety-One when we ask the questions:

Not much really as we won’t see these guys again until Spring

Will Small Sam be the newest addition to our MurderHobo brigade?

Was this the last or Orcus Claws?

Tale of the Tape

Our squad stood up to fear and will come out of it with a greater internal fortitude (+2 to Fear saves).

Finished until Day 779.

KILLS

Crueltide Elves (6) 

Thrasher 

Nokuy the Red 

The Dentist 

Chaos 

Pounder 

Snowbeast 

Orcus Claws 

LOOT

365 gp

Golden Rings (5) 50 gp each

Silver Panpipes 150 gp

Beryls (3) 20 gp each

Rubies (4) 60 gp each

Strange Wintery Dagger

A Cottage in Newville!