Attack of the Meat Pile (Session 325)

SESSION 325: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.7: Godflesh 

The final battle is upon us, the face-off with the Chaos God (or something)!

 

Day 772 Continued II (Underworld): It was time to loot the weavers chamber and figure what to do with the ‘god-wig’. The old half-worm bags had jack shit. In fact their two chests only contained desiccated elves. “Mazucar! Spazucar!”, screamed Azucar. It was the other two members of his raiding party. The weavers had sucked all their beauty from them but they still clung to life, just barely. The shrivelled bodies were unpacked and fed a healing berry, to little observable effect. Perhaps they were slightly more alive it was difficult to tell. After investigating the elves it was thought that months of bed rest and healing could facilitate recovery. For now they were completely incapacitated. After some thinking they were each tied to a rocking chair that Blerp could carry under each arm. Attention now moved to the southern door. 

Bunny listened and could here odd sounds, not creatures but of stuff doing things perhaps machinery. Beyond was the ‘Blood Bank’, giant dripping metal vats, elaborate overhead plumbing, puddle-covered floors, dim yellow light from hissing gas lamps. A lone aproned dwarf with shoulder-length seal-skinned gloves waddles between tanks, turning valves. A narrow access tunnel leads east. 

Saffron charmed the dork. We didn’t need any headaches. They learned some things from the twerp. He simply seemed to have found a way to preserve himself and get paid for it. They told the dwarf they would return after committing some deicide. He seemed skeptical but gave them a ‘thumbs up’ nevertheless. 

Falling back they were attempting to move cautiously past a pair of dragon lair doors when a bunch of whacked out chaos fanatics danced through and into the Sisters’ acid vault. Our gang were able to steal a quick glance before the doors closed . Nothing much beyond the gross green glow illuminating a glassy black bridge, much the same as they had seen spanning the chasm on the upper floor. Next stop was the theatre, after a momentary distraction by a half dozen lumbering neanderthal zombies. This would not have been so ‘surprising’ if anyone had asked Blerp where the passage lead…

The Auditorium: A crowded candlelit theater. Curving polygonal tiers of bench seats slope downwards towards a stage at the southern end of this trapezoid-shaped room. At least one hundred humanoids–goblins, orcs, gnolls, harpies, armored men, and ogres sit in attendance. They’re serenaded by punctuated spurts of blisteringly loud, otherworldly soprano scream-singing emanating from the stone tunnel behind the stage. Massive frescoes line the walls depict a golden youth rising from an ocean of melting bodies. A display of mangled corpses is impaled on stakes at the front of the stage. At this time the audience appeared to be in a sleepy daze in between god-screeching sets. They cautiously and quietly ended the chamber and slunk along one of the walls to the stage before darting down the back passage. 

 

Next stop was the final battle (with the Chaos God, well not really read on to find out).

 

A gargantuan cavern; the edges of reality here bleed away to white. 

A mountainous mound of foul-smelling compressed garbage shifts slightly; it’s merely the skullcap of the incomplete godling. Its 200’ body lies vivisected, arms akimbo, awaiting completion. Waves of wriggling filth washes over its skin in skittering waves. 

A massive gash in its chest reveals a 5’ beating heart of pure gold in a pool of sizzling acid. Its perpetually wet mouth bellows a hypnotic and revolting melody akin to a phlegmy child singing a nursery rhyme backwards. 

The sight and sounds tore at their feeble hobo minds. 

The golden strands of Azucar’s hair around their wrists glowing for a moment of protection magic allowing their minds not to melt. Saffron and Carla (after drinking a potion) flew towards the partially assembled entity after Bunny tossed a silence stone in the vicinity of its head. No one wanted to hear any more of that vile song. Carla tossed a sweet water potion into the acidic cleave holding the heart as Bimbles cast lower water. The plan was to kill the god quick like. It caused damage to the incomplete shell but the heart continued to beat, acidic blood or not. Moving within proximity of the golden heart activated the Archangel of Chaos, the real threat. First from somewhere in the darkness above a death ray shot down to disintegrate Carla. The Green-Queen was able to raise the Armature of Palanthis to intercept and diffuse the ray. They flew upwards into the darkness to find the source of the bolt.

They found it. “AHHHHHHH I don’t like it! Wrong Wrong Wrong”, screamed a Saffron at the limits of her already fractured mind.

Archangel of Chaos: A pink and flapping creature of wings and eyes. Resembling skinned, uncooked chicken. Next it produced a sickening trumpeting sound, from somewhere. Resulting in multiple murderers being frozen in place. Carla got in the things grill somehow fending of its continued attacks. They almost had it and then it rejuvenated its gross form. The fight started all over again. Green eye-ray beams, trumpeting of paralysis and divine magicks of a dark slant. The fight repeated. The gross twisted mess tried its damnedest to nuke our heroes but they was on a mission from Ghad. It hit the floor with a sickly splat just as Dolec severed the vile black aorta connecting the golden heart to the Chaos god. Now it was done. The behemoth began to melt along with its winged abomination. 

“Hey new friends. I don’t feel so good and my old friends in the theatre are sounding not so happy”, contributed Blerp. 

“Ah crud. We didn’t have a plan for them did we…”, Bunny trailed off as she slunk into a shadow. 

“Shitstorm incoming”, Dolec hollered as he jumped off the liquifying god carcass and ran towards the connecting corridor.

Fight on!

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara, Lester & Azucar

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 363590 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 327825 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 319435 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 201739 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 74855 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  52155 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6)

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

766a (Bunny Group Newville/ Dreaming Caldera) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Six when we ask the questions:

What about all them dopes in the theatre? 

What about the Sisters?

What about the reward from the Master?

Tale of the Tape

Nara and Charles continue their stay at the petrification hotel.

Enslaved by Saffron: Blerp the Ogre & Chory the Dwarf

KILLS

Zombies (6) 

Archangel of the Chaos God  

Vessel of the Chaos God 

LOOT

Close but not yet.

Back in the Locust Furnace (Session 324)

SESSION 324: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.6: Life is Easy 

Things continue to be weird deeper into the dungeon, Saff makes a new friend whom averts walking into double dragon trouble.

 

Day 772 Continued (Underworld): Down the stairwell to the tune of rapturous screams and hammering, what a swell joint. Carla covered the group in silence to counter their often noisy operations. The first stop in the passage was two doors. Behind one hammering could be heard and the other sounded like construction works. Bunny choose the hammerin’ door. 

Inside was another workshop staffed by four annoyed ogres trying to discern a god-bone schematic. Rock-filled bins and worktables line the walls. A crude illustration of a rib on vellum is nailed into the wall. Four ogres squint at the illustration and bash rocks with stone hammers. A large stone, very roughly bone-shaped, sits on a workbench surrounded by pots of glue. The brutes were fully engaging their communal 17 braincells. 

In snuck our gang and then wham-o. The ogres were quickly neutralized, three dead and the final held and charmed – we will call him Blerp. Saff was quite happy with herself. She had been missing Sloth something fierce now she had a pet ogre to fill the big mook role in her life. Well at least until they return to Liwil…or maybe two mooks is even better than one. We shall see. During her musing the clerics smote the incomplete god-rib while Dolec shook the bodies for loot. “Hey these guys are like baby giants. Look at all this gold, jewelry, gems and a potion an da scroll!”. Bimbles eyes lit up, “Let’s see the serious goods, and one of those gold necklaces”. He potion was an intriguing bubbling green juice, sadly without label, and the scroll…”Well that sucks. Its gobbledegook”, complained the cleric as he tossed it to Azucar for inspection. The elf took a quick look, “these will be useful” as he tucked the scroll away. 

Moving across the hallway the door opened to a very large chamber housing a rock mining operation. Natural stone walls, high ceilings, echoing sounds of shouting and the squeak of straining rope. Crews of chained, beleaguered neanderthals strain at ropes fed through massive groaning winches to transport wicker gondolas of neanderthal miners up and down four 20’ diameter bore holes. Eight distracted ogre taskmasters bark orders at the exhausted cavemen. All parties were preoccupied and a little was away. Even though there was lighting around the work area there was lots of shadows around the walls, just right for a Bunny to disappear into. Saffron and Blerp stayed just outside to watch their backs and not to create any conflict with the charmed ogre whom acknowledged all these ogres as ‘brothers’. We could not tell if this was ogre-talk or genetics and decided to avoid putting Blerp in an ‘us or them’ situation. Carla cast sticks to snakes and then the bulk of our troops went in to join a well-hidden Bunny inside the cavern. Snakes were released and tanks charged. The ogres were flatfooted. This battle like the previous flowed pretty smoothly ending with four captured ogres and forty confused and exhausted Neanderthals watching it all go down slack-jawed style. The captives were lowered into one of the bore holes, they couldn’t be fully trusted to just run away – they were deeply in thrall to the ‘music’ after all. The primitives were a dumb lot but were able to explain two things. One, there were more or them in the sick room to the north east. Two, they were abducted from their home tunnels at the bottom of one of the other bore holes. The sub-humans were released back into the subterranean wilds and our gang moved back to the corridor to find the others of their kin. Dolec was once more pleasantly surprised by a good haul of loot for limited danger, “Things are turning around guys we aint wieners no more!”.  

Back in the corridor a smart idea came to the fore, Blerp was queried about the other Neanderthals. He confirmed there was a barrack that house the dirty lot currently full of the sick and gross. Blerp also mentioned the ‘guard fire hounds’. This was troubling sounded like Hell hounds, not necessarily a wanted entanglement. Someone was smart enough to dig for more info from Blerp. He then shared the fact that having an ogre escort would result in the hounds not activating. Blerp led them to the primitive barracks at the other end of the entry corridor was the hellhound pen. A trio of the demonic dogs were there but went back to hound lounging when Blerp gave them a wave. Inside the chamber, it was beyond squalid. Stone pallets for overworked neanderthals too exhausted to move. 18 weary, injured, or sick Neanderthals huddled together in this filthy hovel. Our team rolled in and quickly began administering aid much to the confusion of the sub-humans. One rose up, Thag, definitely dumb like the rest but a bit more talkie than grunty. After some help Carla explained that his brethren had been released from their bondage. Thag liked this and asked if they could join friends. Carla agreed and they escorted this lot back to the bore hole chamber. 

As they walked backed Bimbles asked Blerp what lay beyond a pair of ornate double doors, “Oh the Sisters live there”. “…And who or what are the Sisters Blerp?”. “Oh they dragons. They make acid blood for god”. “…two…jeez…Lets go check the other door in the mining chamber after dumping the chumps”.

Returning, Thag and company thanked their liberators and then descended deeper into the depths. Going north they came to the other set of doors to the acid chamber just around the same time a dancing troupe of brain-dead acolytes in a euphoric haze, They danced right past and into the dragon sisters chamber. We quickly closed the doors behind them, not wanting any ‘entanglements’. Going further, the fourth god-bits workshop was discovered. Soft yellow light from oil lamps, hanging swathes of silk, large wooden chests, and an enormous nest of shimmering golden thread. Five noseless women with elaborate braided hair sit on wooden rocking chairs or lean over spinning wheels. They had long, segmented worm torsos in place of legs. They would have been welcoming and congenial but the team just simply stormed the chamber. These hair-hag-worms were an alert bunch. The bums rush did not work out super great. Two were engaged but the other three utilized their innate ability to ‘web’ bad guests. All of a sudden half the team were gummed up in webs. Bunny leapt to action activating her flame brand to ignite the webbing covering Carla and Lester, “You may feel some burning…”. 

Azucar and Dolec were left to do the dirty work. Before victory the fight dragged on with more webbing and burning but the hags were not successful with any other attacks. 

“Whew… Almost thought we were on the chump train again”, came from Dolec as they all turned their attention to the contents of the chamber and the partially obscured door across the room.

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara, Lester & Azucar

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 363590 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 327825 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 319435 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 201739 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 74855 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  52155 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6)

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

766a (Bunny Group Newville/ Dreaming Caldera) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Five when we ask the questions:

What treasures does the Weaver chamber hold?

What’s behind the door?

Are we gonna go after the Sisters?

Where is ‘god’?

Tale of the Tape

Nara and Charles continue their stay at the petrification hotel.

KILLS

Ogres (12) 

Weavers (5) 

LOOT

11,000 gp

Gems (6): 10,100,50,50,100,10 = 320 gp

Jewelry (6): 1500,900,1100,900,1000,1100= 6500 gp

Green potion

Scroll: sleep, levitate, clairvoyance

The Master's Bedroom Is Worth Spending A Night In (Session 323)

SESSION 323: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.5: The Master’s Chamber 

Returning to the dungeon the Master is uncovered and a new ally gained before descending deeper.

 

Day 772 (Underworld): After a good night of rest in the badgerfolk village the gang was brought back to the dungeon via the secret tunnel. Before leaving Enoki gave Bunny a steel ball, “If you throw it into the tunnel it will return to the village and we will collect you from the dungeon”. Bunny thought that was nifty. 

Once more the boat was pushed to the side and the gang crawled back into the trash/ storage chamber. Not much had changed accept for the smell. The dead bugbears had begun to fester in the warm volcanic chamber. They collected their push cart and moved along. Back into the feather chamber and then into the previously unexplored chamber at the western extent of the connecting passage. 

The Shrine Dump aka The Master’s Chamber: Rats skittered across a teetering trash pile composed of smashed statuary, rotting tapestries, candles, and religious paraphernalia. A leering stone demon face peeked out from the heap a dead rat was draped across the stone demon face. Lester had just enough time to blurt out, “I say that is my dead rat!” before it rotated its head and spoke. 

“Kkkkccckk...you...defilers. You are different than the ckkkkkk brainwashed rabble of this place. Kkkkkk...I sense that you have been serving me…kkkkkckl…are you here for your reward…?”

Bimbles reflected for a moment remembering the greasy Red Prophet’s prophecy, “No no no, not yet we have destroyed but two pieces. We want the WHOLE reward. We shall return when all four have been bashed to smithereens”. “Kckckckkl..Very well…bring vengeance upon the Chaos god…”, the rat’s head returned to the prone position and spoke no more. 

They left the chamber and returned to the trapezoidal crossroads all was quiet.

There were three options back down the central passage to the stairs down, the door to the acid chamber or the unexplored door to the south east. The door it was. 

A small and damp chamber housing an old water pump and a mossy trough. Clumps of moss and tiny mushrooms grew on the wet floors. Looking at their map Bunny thought the room was a good candidate for closer inspection. She found a forgotten secret revolving door. Beyond was another small room. A makeshift jail cell, lightless and squalid. Shackles chained a lone elf to the ground, pecked and bloodied by an errant chicken. Shovels, rakes and other farm implements were piled against the northern wall and a door was on the western wall presumably leading to the chicken coop.

The elf was Azucar the sole survivor of the elven assault team that had been imprisoned and then forgotten about, left to be slowly tortured by the chicken perhaps. Despite his physical condition his spirit was unbroken, “Pain is temporary. Glory is forever!” he was eager to ally with our hobos to destroy the Eater of Dreams. He offered all a strand of his golden hair, “ Tie this around your wrist it will protect you”. After some aid and equipping they returned to the trapezoidal crossroads. 

“Oi! You lot wahts yous doin ‘ere den?”, a group of four ogres were present. They were obviously looking for people to eat but were showing some caution in the selection process. Dolec told then they were very busy doing something or the other for someone or the other. The ogres were disappointed by this confusing statement,”…Uh. Ok. You keep werkin… We was just checkin”. The gang quickly pushed their cart past and then down the lightless black volcanic glass southern passage to the stairwell down. Lester and Dolec shined their light down into the steamy blackness. Hammering could be heard not too distant. 

Azucar shouted, “No fear!”.

 

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara & Lester

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 363590 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 327825 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 319435 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 201739 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 74855 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  52155 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6)

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

766a (Bunny Group Newville/ Dreaming Caldera) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Four when we ask the questions:

Will we take up the Master’s rewards program for god-bit elimination?

What does the lower level(s) hold?

Tale of the Tape

Nara and Charles continue their stay at the petrification hotel.

KILLS

none

LOOT

zilch

Make Automatons Great Again (Session 322)

SESSION 322: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.4: Building a Better Messiah 

Things continue to be “messy” but our heroes find a reprieve, will it only complicate matters in the end?

 

Day 771 Continued(Underworld): “The dead rat went thadda way ya dumb-dumbs”, Saffron pointed across the chamber to a door on the south wall. There was another door but we were fixated on finding the rat that would lead us to the ‘Master’. Beyond the door was a t-corridor. This way or that way? West was chosen. The rat had gone east but this would not be figured for some time. 

They had made it maybe 20’ and were inspecting an alcove when noise could be heard coming nearer from the eastern extent. Sounded like wooden wheels and scrapping, perhaps along the walls. Bunny went ahead invisibly. An empty push wagon manned by four hobgoblins whom immediately barked out a series of questions at the visible portion of the party, “What are you zombies doing?” “Why aren’t you working harder?” “Who’s your foreman?” Before they could get to their point the hobs felt the end of hobo sword points. The cart was liberated “for official business reasons” and our gang continued to the west.

Going west they came to a portcullis or a passage into a dimly lit chamber. There was a button within a security box very near the barrier but they chose the chamber. They liked the prospects of leading with the cart. 

“SSsss what do we have here? Ohss whats wonderful freshss human werkerzz”, came from a robed, medallion adorned and topped with a huge gold crown lizardman.

There were giggles from his workers that were clearly ghouls, that numbered eight.

The chamber was smoky from an unventilated forge. Bins and worktables lined the walls; a 3’ dripping, rough textured, tooth- shaped thing stood on a pedestal in the center of the room. 

The ghouls appeared to be laboring to build a part of their new god (Reminder: these italicized bits are usually lifted from whatever adventure we is playing i.e. The Dreaming Caldera. Play it. Enjoy it). 

They hammered eggshells into compacted bricks of baked, calcified porcelain. The brick are glued together in a mold to form an enormous tooth. The incisor here was nearing completion. 

 

It quickly became apparent were Gurk was so unctuous, the hobos would provide a wonderful fleshy morale boon for his workers. This was when shit got real. Both parties were in an unacknowledged standoff. Hobos twitched first and the ghouls went feral for flesh. The wagon was not as helpful as hoped, it actually limited movement. The front-line was swarmed and Dolec was held by whatever paralytic pathogen ghouls excrete. The holy rollers decided to simultaneously call down the vanquishing light of their respective gods. It was a light show but no ‘Kablam’. 

Gurk’s large crystal medallion glowed in response and swallowed the holy light. 

The ghouls were ecstatic with flesh lust. 

                                                Flesh Eating Ghouls from Outer Space!

The fairy missed with her shot at the necromancer. Lester worked his way around the cart and into battle. Gurk then cast a web upon Bunny and Lester. It was up to the clerics and Saff to get something done. The ghouls were upon them with claws and festering fangs. With the big fail on the turning the hobos realized they were in serious trouble. Ghouls were tearing off Dolec’s armor to get to his flesh and with two immobilized in the web the number of ghoul attacks per adventurer had gone up. Bunny was able to activate her flame brand and ignite the web. Her and Lester would have to burn to escape the sticky threads. It was time for desperate measures as Dolec’s life hung in the balance. The funny thing is that the bad guys were not really all that formidable the hobos just had to get their hands dirty, so to speak. Carla bashed down the first ghoul as Bimbles freed the now almost dead Dolec from the ghoul paralysis and Saff began tenderizing the necromancer. They got lucky and none succumbed to another wave of ghoul lust. Bunny and Lester were now slightly singed but free. The hobos leaned into the ghouls and the boss-man-lizard.

The tables turned. 

Moments later the battle was over.

Bimbles smote the ‘god-tooth’ with his mace, “Fuck yo’ tooth!” before smashing Gurk’s evil anti-turning medallion. 

Healing magics. Healing magics. Healing magics.

That fight was a train-wreck but Gurk’s huge golden crown would be darn good pay.

 

Taking the northern door they once more found themselves in the pentagonal cross-roads. West was the only untravelled option. They found themselves on the other side of the portcullis. “I guess we should have opened it”, opined Bunny. 

Bimble’s ignored her as he looked into an adjacent chamber. 

Kettles simmered over small, open flames. Bins and worktables line the walls; a large, ghoulish orb of milky putrescent albumen balances on a low table in the center of the room and stinks powerfully of sour and egg. Four harpies were poaching hundreds of egg white. 

It looked like they had found the god-eye workshop. They pushed their cart in and acted dumb. The harpies were rather involved in their holy works so to start they just told the gang to get lost. When they did not comply the stinky bird broads got irritated and began to sing their beguiling song. Hobos closed in and the harpies realized something was up. This fight went much better than the previous and was closed out expediently. Each wore exquisite gold and platinum ankle braclets. The god-eye was popped and they back tracked all the way to the southern door of the chicken chamber. Now proceeding to explore the eastern passage, “I guess my rat actually went this way…” came from Lester. 

Down this passage they ran into, were run into, by a lone female badgerfolk. It took a little negotiation but they made an ally whom knew something about the dungeon. Enoki was nearly dwarf sized but broader and hairier overall with large clawed hands made for burrowing. She was making to escape the dungeon via a secret badgerfolk tunnel and offered respite to the crew. They wholeheartedly accepted. Moving further east and then north Enoki pointed out a stairwell that went deeper into the dungeon but could provide no further detail on it. She then lead then to a trapezoidal crossroad, feathers filth, wagon tracks and three doors. They took the SE door. The northern connected to the acid chamber and Enoki did not know what was behind the NW door. 

The first chamber they came upon had great drifting piles of dirty feathers and nose-tickling dander fill the room to the ceiling. 

They passed through into what appeared to be a trash/ storage chamber. 

A staggering array of disorganized miscellanea and festering garbage. Folded clothing, piles of rotting chicken feet, barrels full of pole-arms, coils of hemp rope, a small sailing ship, a neat stack of human corpses in a puddle of brown fluid. 

Inside were another four hobgoblins exhausted and dirty, dumping crap from another wagon. When their attempt to coerce the gang into labour they quickly found out that the hobos, “Had not heard the music”. They were quickly slaughtered.

Behind the small sailing ship was the Badgerfolk Tunnels. 

Soft and constantly collapsing. Ran for miles all the way down the mountain to the badgerfolk forest. 

Enoki leapt in and called out to the hobos to follow. “Keep up and stay in my wake. We will be home before you know it”. 

It took but a couple of hours as they seemed to have almost been on a slide. 

After introductions they were warmly welcomed into the clan. 

Attended by the healer, well fed and then rested (once more bitterly dreamless). After breakfast Enoki once ore took them to the tunnel. Even up hill the journey only took an additional hour or so. She wished our hobos well and reminded them to put the boat back in its place after they re-entered the dungeon.

 

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara & Lester

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 363590 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 327825 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 319435 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 201739 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 74855 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  52155 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

765a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Three when we ask the questions:

Two god bits down, what next?

How many god bits is there?

With a twelve hour break on the board will the denizens be on alert?

Why haven’t we heard the music?

Tale of the Tape

I don’t know how Dolec is not dead, I must be getting soft.

Nara and Charles continue their voyage down the petrification river.

KILLS

Hobgoblins (8) 

Gurk the Lizardman Necromancer 

Ghouls (8)

Zombies (3) 

Harpies (4)

LOOT

8 gp

Huge golden crown 4000 gp  

Platinum and gold ankle bracelets (4) 2000 gp each

Badgerberries (20) d4+1 hp spoil in 30 days

Steaming Fresh Bull Stuff and that Irresistible Rhythm (Session 321)

SESSION 321: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.3: Stone Cold Crazy 

Carla and Bimbles recognized an imminent defeat and called for a tactical retreat into the pavilion and down the steps to hopefully get beyond the reach of the gigantic tyrannical trio….

 

Day 771 Continued(Underworld): And so, once more, they had descended into the lightless pit. Down ancient black stairs carved into the volcanic rock they were at a cross-roads. 

The dungeon was a seemingly natural cavern chambers made of seamless black volcanic glass. Too many 90 degree angles to occur naturally; its architecture defies conventional wisdom of construction. 12’ ceilings, no natural light sources. 

To the west were double-doors of iron-reinforced wood. 

The east offered a corridor and south was an archway that lead to a black glass bridge in a gapping chamber of acidic odour.

“I take the door, definitely the door”, was Bunny’s contribution.

“Perhaps after we check the corridor was Bimbles’s counter. 

The east end was dead.

They returned and were about to go to the door when they remembered the dead goblin up the stairs. Maybe he had loot. He did. An interesting gauntlet with three red fingers. Our gang were not afforded too much time to think about it as a very large and very angry demonic bull covered in thick armoured plates came to the crossroad from the bridge.

A gorgon, crap!                                            

It wasted no time blasting the first of two petrifying breath attacks upon our twits trapped on the steps. Remember there were three giant beings just outside the pavilion at the top of the stairwell. They showed their fortitude with the first blast but the second took its toll. Nara and Charles were now statues. After the second blast the hobos were able to maneuver around the demon-bull and get their chopping in. Dolec and Bimbles faced it head on as the rest of the gang worked the angles. They got it down without further calamity. The pay, after gutting, was not worth the gore and time two pitiful gems that may turn out to simply be kidney stones. If only we had a dwarf with us.

After grabbing a break they pressed on through the door to the east (after a quick picking). This revealed a corridor that lead to a series of ever increasingly hot staging rooms, filled with dopey folk that only responded to talk about the music. In the third and final chamber was the catalyst for a bit of a grand thrall melee. The Heckling was found here a bird-faced runt with a strangely hairy chest that he took some pride in.

 

He/it was busy posing, and looting, the mixed folk in this chamber he gave simple directions “Braaa wait your turns over there. I will get you stuff so enough. HeHe” to our lot not giving any real consideration. The dwarfy weirdo seemed to be prepping (stealing from) and then assigning tasks these slaves. Something structured was going on but our gang seem to drop clues like birds drop shit, falling never to be seen again every few minutes. The heckling eventually caught on and the jig was up. He sent his legion at our dorks. They slaughtered the sub-humans with abandon while subduing the humans for later interview. When the dust settled the only non-human still breathing in the chamber was Saff. This was to our Ribbit-Queen’s satisfaction. The saved humans could not offer much other than acknowledging that the Heckling had beguiled them and now they were here, wherever that is. They were directed to hunker down, “We will return for you after we have completed our heroic mission”, pledged Lester. 

“Works for us. Best of luck”.

Returning to the glossy black dungeon corridor the went further into another chamber the Pentagonal crossroads. 

Chittering goblin voices and the rhythmic “thunk” of a butcher knife are audible from outside the door. 

Four doors connect to a pentagon shaped-room with 60’ ceilings. Ichor- stained wagon tracks criss-cross the floor. Billowy deposits of white feathers accumulate in the corners. There were four goblinoids working away, huddled in a corner, hacking apart a pile of chickens, fastidiously separating the parts into discrete piles. They ignored our hobos but our sports have a zero tolerance for beastmen, well except Brett & Jermaine of course. 

Three doors to choose from. 

East.

Another corridor with two door along its path. 

They went long.

Welcome to the knackers. The chamber was absurdly hot and lead to a laddered landing in the acidic bridge chamber. Immense iron kettles gurgled over hot coal beds. The northern wall hosted an overstuffed shelf full of pots and jars with opaque, viscous fluids. A blood splattered cutting board and a wet pile of unidentifiable animal tissue cover a table along the southern wall. Four sooty bugbears stirred pots and hacked apart an orc corpse. They seemed to be rendering down their/ the (?) victims into a goo. They were killed with prejudice immediately. After a quick pan and scan Lester acted impulsively. The paladin threw down the Red Prophet’s homing rat. With a spark of mystical energy the dead thing sprung to life. The rat ran like a lightning bolt back down the corridor to the west. 

Folks ran after it. 

The rat wiggled under the unopened door. 

Our hobos followed.

Opening the door unleashed an oppressive wave of hot animal stench. Footfalls were muffled by inches of squishing, compacted filth. A vast chamber of gaping darkness; then surging suddenly into the light: a crashing wave of 1000 screaming chickens. 

A poultry wave rolled over the gang. Inter-mixed within the birds were a half-dozen 6’ tall prehistoric-like dire chickens. These things demanded flesh but not in a cannibal like way. Hobo flesh was on the menu. 

Game on.

Well sorta, they were still just chickens but from a time long forgotten.

The flock peeled through to points behind and the dire chickens met dire straits.

But!

“For crying out loud! Where is my rat!?!”, screamed out our normally stoic paladin.

 

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara & Lester

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 363590 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 327825 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 319435 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 201739 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 74855 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  52155 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

765a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Two when we ask the questions:

Is something going on down here?

Could we have been more…?

Which way did Lester’s rat go?

Did anyone see anything during the chicken frenzy?

Tale of the Tape

Nara and Charles sailed down the petrification river, see ya later!

KILLS

Angry Gorgon 

Orc

Orange Bugbear

Gnolls (3)

Skunk Goblins (4) 

Dire Chickens (6) 

Sooty Chef Bugbears (4)

LOOT

8 sp

Gems (2): small ruby 10 gp, flawed diamond 50 gp

Glove with three red fingers

Inscribed arrowhead 

The Hecklings not empty sack

Thems be Cultin' Words! (Session 320)

SESSION 320: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.2: Getting Pummelled 

The ascent was the first of their challenges. 

 

Day 767 Continued - 768 (Wilds): A day was used and three winter wolf pelts were salvaged. Bimbles saw nothing but coin as our Elvish guides seemed a little more dejected by the relaxed hero schedule. 

Day 769 (Wilds): Back to hiking towards the cloud wall. The journey was unvenetful just slogging through the snow. They camped an hour or so away from the optical barrier. 

Day 770 (Wilds): The elves gave some final direction this morning, wished Borlax’s speed to them and the two groups parted company. 

The barrier was odd. Thousands of feet high and impenetrable by eye. They planned for the worse and tied everybody off. It ended up simply being a bank fifteen or so feet deep. Just enough to put a little fear into your garden variety murderhobo. Looming, even though it was still a number of miles away was Mt. Embersnake. They made their way working along the broken patches of forest to hide the approach.

By late morning they had reached the “faster/easier” (deforested side) Western trail up Mt. Embersnake. A six thousand foot ascent is a long hike before you factor in the all the switchbacks. They would make less than half the journey today. With this side of the mountain being in the open the gang decided to get invisible for the journey. 

It was only an hour or so before the first encounter. A gross little rotund man doing his best to run down the mountain from a pursuing group of baying gnolls. Acting quickly Charles and Dolec sneakily stretched a rope across the path, intending to trip up the gnolls. It did end up sorta working but the little fat guy failed his attempt to waddle over the unsprung trap. He skidded out. Inciting the gnolls to charge. The first two were wanged by the trap and then our troop engaged the group. Those invisibilities didn’t last long did they. The fight was quick. Five well surprised gnolls really stood no chance. The little fat and waxy guy, the Red Prophet, was grateful. Before skipping away giggled a prophecy pout and handed a dead rat to Lester. 

Eyeball, tooth, bone, and brow Blaspheme against the true god’s power For each destroyed, the birth forestalls And lucre grease thy grubby paws! Defile the organs with thy swords Then seek the master for your reward.

“The rat will show you the way to the Master”, were his final words. Lester did his good-guy best to appear gracious to the walrus-like man.

They watched him waddle-skip for a spell before continuing the ascent. All went well until high afternoon.

Swooping out of the sun were a trio of pteradon riders armed with bows and lances. They had the first move. Bow fire followed by dive bomb attacks. The run and gun pattern kept them out of melee, at least for awhile. Saffron pulled out her wand of paralysis to turn the tables on these black knights and their prehistoric mounts. For one of them it became very difficult to stay airborne when your mount can no longer fly. They crashed into the slope. The impact did not kill the rider forcing Bunny to become embroiled in a one-on-one. Slowly the gang got the fight under control and opponents began to drop (probably in part assisted by the cheating but too late to punish now). The fight ended the pay was pretty good and then they marched on for awhile more before setting camp.

 

Day 771 (Wilds): The camp on the slope was thankfully uneventful. It took about three hours to reach the summit. Invisible Bunny crept up and looked over the rim. The mountain was crowned by a dry, 300’ diameter, bowl shaped caldera. Cold winds blew a dusting of snow across its cracked earth. At its center sits a blackened and ruined marble pavilion. A staircase inside descending into the mountain’s core. An armor-clad, foaming from the mouth, elongated limbed giant, kneeled before the pavilion surrounded by javelins embedded in the cracked soil. Bunny fell back and then the group entered the caldera. Nothing happened, so they began running towards the pavilion. As they closed the range to a hundred or so feet away a voice echoed from all directions, “HAVE YOU HEARD THE MUSIC?” .

Then a little hooded gimp limped from the pavilion towards the hobos. Meanwhile the giant had arisen but stood motionless as foam bubbled from its helm and down its body to the dry earth. When the gang (whom began prancing and declaring they had heard the music) and the little guy halved the distance between it thrust forth an iron clad gauntlet and then shrieked “They have not heard the music!” 

The tyrant immediately grabbed two adjacent javelins and hurled them. The fight was on. The little guy now identified as a goblin made haste back towards the pavilion. Our tanks rushed the giant only to be greeted by an acidic foam vomit spray and then surprised by two more iron-clad giants erupting from under the earth. The fight started out on the wrong foot and only got worse. The tyrants seemed indifferent to physical damage as the smashed hobo with the mighty fists connected to their abnormally long arms. The clerics each transformed bundles of sticks into snakes in an attempt to distract the beasts to allow the gang to regroup. The giants gave almost no heed to the snakes after a couple of quick smashes obliterating scores of serpents. The fight was going really poorly at least they were able to neutralize the goblin before it escaped and likely sounded the alarm. 

Carla and Bimbles recognized an imminent defeat and called for a tactical retreat. Into the pavilion and down the steps they bolted to hopefully evade the reach of the tyrannical trio….

 

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara & Lester

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 358909 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 323144 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 314754 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 199399 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 113928 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 87256 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 72515 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  49775 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

761a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-One when we ask the questions:

What just happened?

Those foaming long-armed giants were unusual weren’t they?

Is our crew rusty from their Winter retreat?

Who or what is the Master?

 

Tale of the Tape

We got to the precipice, lets keep pushing

KILLS

Gnolls (5) 

Pteradons (3) 

Black Wing Knights (3) 

LOOT

50 pp

3003 gp

2000 sp

Wolf pelts (3) @ 5,000 gp each