In the Court of the Bone Sorcerer (Session 69)

 SESSION 69: Guests in the Fungoid Gardens of the Bone Sorcerer (21MAR18)

            Hanging around waiting to meet the Bone Sorcerer. Len has wandered off, we go hunt him down and find him communing with the unspeakable tree-thing. His mutation is becoming rather pronounced…

He was ‘sedated’ and tied down along with melty-face Raul. Eventually guardsman Ulfire Stewie returned and said that the Bone Sorcerer was ready to receive our gang. After a pleasant tour of the Sorcerer’s operations we got to his office/lab. 

OH, that is why he is the ‘bone’ sorcerer his skin is transparent. Don’t feel so bad about melty face Raul and slimer Lenny, being transparent is right up there on the gross-o meter. Either way, this dude was a cool cucumber whom could speak our language (nobody questioned that). Not concerned with our horde in the slightest. He was however irritated that we had destroyed his amphibious ones. It seems that he had conducted a very complicated and protracted ritual (Summon the Amphibious Ones) that required human sacrifice as well as other despicable behaviours and rare components over 11 hours. He was willing to provide a modicum of information as long as he received two scoops of restitution. 

The world of Carcosa is fraught with the likes of the Old Ones and their spawn, the legacy of the extinct Snake-Men, and sorcery. Snake-Men genetically engineered the thirteen races of man as sacrifices for their sorcerous rituals. Mankind is acutely aware of the fact that man does not stand at the apex of anything. The Old Ones, the Space Aliens, some of the spawn of Shub-Niggurath, etc. all excel man in power and in intellect, as did the extinct Snake-Men. The oppressive historical weight of these entities ‘domination of long geological ages before mankind’s relatively recent creation weighs down humanity, sapping ambition and replacing it with fatalism. Further, the knowledge that other intelligences (both the Space Aliens and those native to Carcosa) have already created technologies far in advance of man’s has stunted scientific progress. Those men who worship anything deify entities with puissance dwarfing that of mankind. Whether the “god” is one of the Old Ones, some other monster, an artifact, or another center of power, men serve it out of fear and out of greedy desire for material gain. Men typically spend their days in the struggle to acquire the necessities of survival and in servility to their emperors, hierarchs, and gods. Alignment on the planet of Carcosa is defined solely by one’s stance towards the Great Old Ones. Nothing else is considered. All behaviors, including the most noble and altruistic as well as the most vile and despicable, are found amongst all three alignments. Similarity of alignments does not necessarily indicate friendship, and opposite alignments does not necessarily indicate enmity (Carcosa, G. McKinney). 

After this history lesson, he reconfirmed that he wanted ingredients to pay off our debt and that he would assess Raul and Lenny if the rest of us would piss off for a while. He pointed to a chamber, “go sleep in there and don’t fuck with anything, I have things to do”.

The following ‘morning’ we returned to the lab to find that Raul had recovered the elasticity in his face and Lenny had become much more coherent. A final discussion with the BSer ensued pertaining to the next step – finding the ‘extinct’ snake-men. We had a major decision to make. Back into the depths or explore the wasteland. Bone felt it was more likely that surface exploration would uncover the Snake-men as the statue found below was of Cthulhu, an Elder God that he felt was not necessarily ‘snake-ish’. It was then decided that overland exploration would be the next step. Bone then produced a crude map of the desert wastes with five possible locations of the ‘extinct’ snake-men’s Nameless City. This would be the extent of his assistance, it was clear that even though he had levied a debt upon us he was not all that invested in our success. “Live or die, I care not. However, if you do return you will present me with ancient components or sacrifices...preferably both, you fucked up lots of my shit. that way to the egress”. With that his gummy arm raised slightly in the direction of a corridor moment before he went back to whatever malevolent works he had on his itinerary.

Into the desert. We came out in a rocky defile, a wide crack in the earth belching as forth into the wastes. The desert lay directly south of us. Marching on. Working our way through the rocky landscape we came apon a restrained bright orange ankylosaur (1504). It was a trap. Ten white humanoids with desiccated skin jumped out of nowhere. Masters of disguise I guess. We quickly dispatched them and then used a little magic to communicate with the primordial thing. It was Bill and he appreciated being released and was happy not to hang around lots of weirder than normal weird shit going down around these parts. We continued due south (into 1505). Ding-We was convinced that the best place to find what we were looking for would be in the heart of the wasteland.

             

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 71143 xp +10% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 68979 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 64317 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 26310 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 67259 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 58030 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 51943 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

Bunny the Sharper (T7) 58741 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 27073 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 79661 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 32131 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Guide (R6) 29271 xp +10% <50000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 9 DAYS

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 54462 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound:

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 27 DAYS

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

163 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Seventy when we ask the questions:

Tale of the Tape

Nope

KILLS

Desiccated White men (10) 

Bill the Bright Orange Ankylosaur - Rescued 

LOOT

Nope

Carcosa Fear of the Unknown (Session 68)

 SESSION 68: Lost in the Bowels of Carcosa (15MAR18)

            Around and around we went looking for something, anything. Finally, we realized there were only two choices, descend deeper or climb the waterfall. We were already wet, so up it was. An underground river leading us ever so slightly upwards and eventually into a chamber. It was home to a pack of diabolical transparent frog like abominations. Fight fight fight. After resting we pressed on through a winding maze of passageways. 

    The water disappeared but now the tunnels were chocked with strange fungi and molds. We encountered somesort of tentacle tree-like thing, another spawn of Shub-Niggurath. We gave it wide birth. Shortly thereafter, something sprouted from the mushroomy wall covering our scouts in spore. Raul did not take it well. He collapsed to the ground unconscious. Flipping him over we discovered that his face had mostly fallen off. It was nauseating, we had never seen anything so repulsive. We put a sack over his head to stymie the revulsion. The endless tunnels were beginning to affect Bimbles’s disposition for the worse. Luckily we found another chamber with a pair of guards in it. Some tricky magiks and we had them quietly out of commission. We then woke one so Ding-We could charm the Ulfire man. It worked and he then went off to get his boss, the Bone Sorcerer, for us to have audience with. So the rest of us sat down and waited. Not a horrible day on Dread Carcosa, let us see how things play out.

ROLECALL XP not updated. ‘cuz you got jack shit.

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 71143 xp +10% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 68979 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 64317 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 26310 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 67259 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 58030 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 51943 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

Bunny the Sharper (T7) 58741 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 27073 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 79661 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 32131 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Guide (R6) 29271 xp +10% <50000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 9 DAYS

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 54462 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound:

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 28 DAYS

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

162 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Sixty-nine when we ask the questions:

Tale of the Tape

KILLS

Large Slugs (4) 

Giant Slug 

Amphibious Ones (10) 

LOOT

Poop

Carcosa in the Bowels (Session 67)

 SESSION 67: Shots in the Dark (5MAR18)

            Muzzah was not satisfied. As a matter of fact, it seems that we just made things even more convoluted. The statue was most likely an idol of ANOTHER dark and forgotten god from beyond the pale. Not providing any insight to the serpent men pressing into our world, the strange celestial anomalies nor the being possibly known as Hastur. At least to the best of our knowledge. 

Note: It was all connected. I'm not sure that we really ever figured it out but "that is not dead which can eternal lie" but will rise again "when the stars are right". R'lyeh is getting closer and there are those actively diminishing the barrier. They will never stop. They are "zoophagous maniac(s)"

"I am here to do your bidding, Master.  I am Your slave, and You will reward me, for I shall be faithful."

            Like the brilliant hobos we is, it was decided that returning to the grim realm was the best idea. I guess we had not really been beaten enough by giant slugs and other vile things. And quite frankly a breather from the undead hell of Barrowmaze was refreshing (famous last thoughts).

            On our return trip, we encountered and recruited a band of rampaging orks. They called themselves the Grakh Nokh Yarg to be specific. It seems that Orks just want to make some coin, I guess they ain't much different from a murederhobos after all. They were retained with a simple bag of silver. They would accompany us to the portal and then traverse the boundary and kill whatever we found. 

    What luck... the portal was gone, this completed the terms of the orks contract and they happily collected their outstanding pay and marched on – meatshields come and go in all sorts of ways. Lucky for them, a short time later a passing green dragon thought us easy targets. Unfortunately for it the ruins gave us a tactical advantage. Unfortunately for us, the portal did return that evening.

                                ~~CARCOSA~~

            Never ending tunnels of alien black stone, icy waters shin deep. Around every other corner twisted abominations too ghastly to describe. Around and around we went finding only horrors. Mindless abominations. Are we lost on dread Carcosa?              

         (Altar III by F.Launet, or so it appears)

Even worse, are we trapped?

ROLECALL XP not updated. ‘cuz you got jack shit.

 

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 71143 xp +10% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 68979 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 64317 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 26310 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 67259 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 58030 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 51943 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

Bunny the Sharper (T7) 58741 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 27073 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 79661 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 32131 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Guide (R6) 29271 xp +10% <50000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 11 DAYS

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 54462 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound:

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 30 DAYS

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

160 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Sixty-eight when we ask the questions:

Is there anything else or is this a truly dead realm?

Tale of the Tape

KILLS

Grakh Nokh Yarg Orks (12) Hired 120

Green Dragon 2060

Spawn of Shub 150

Deep Ones (22) 1760

Deep One King 120

Giant Slug – Ran away, killed next session (I can see the future)

LOOT

Unknown Underworld (Session 66)

 SESSION 66: Into the Abyss (21FEB18)

            The cold wet dark. Not our home, looking for answers. What is pushing on our reality? Well it seems to be man-fish things, perhaps. There was certainly a bunch of the creepy fuckers given us the shiv but they seem as dumb as dumb can be (useful idiots at ultimate best). Then there was the the giant slugs, that we do not want to see more of, but we gotta presume they cannot organize any sort of invasion- they are slugs for fucks sake!. We did also find a sizable idol. Perhaps some long forgotten being of insurmountable power? Whatever it may be, we had enough of this ‘hell-hole’ and fell back to the portal. 

    Returning from beyond, fatigue was ignored and haste was made back towards Helix. This may have been a good plan as we found Lenny straying off the path in some sort of fever dream talking to the lumpy sores that seem to take more and more red estate on his body. Something that has become worrisomely more common with him. This was not helping Rahgnar cling to life. Reuniting, we made the final push to Helix to present our findings to Muzzah.        

 ROLECALL

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 71143 xp +10% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 68979 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 64317 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 26310 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 67259 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 58030 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 51943 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

Bunny the Sharper (T7) 58741 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 27073 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 79661 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 32131 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Guide (R6) 29271 xp +10% <50000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 11 DAYS

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 54462 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound:

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 30 DAYS

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

160 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Sixty-seven when we ask the questions:

Did we get enough info?

Can we now go back to dredging the depths of Barrowmaze?

Tale of the Tape

KILLS

Giant slugs (2) 

Deep Ones (14) some insane, some just plain evil

Dolm Ooze

LOOT

A large statue (2’) of some lost and dark god

Kneel Before your Ophidian Masters or Die (Session 65)

 SESSION 65:  Bloodbath  (5FEB18)

            The doors opened. Slowly and noisily as if they had not been broken for millennia. First came smoke then came our new ophidian masters. Sickly and twisted bipedal abominations spawned from generations of malignant inbreeding. They were ready for opposition. Displaying a strength of hatred that could only be borne from the grotesque. Our gang was gobsmacked. Meet the serpent people expeditionary force - Man Must Die!

(Source: Kull the Conqueror by Marvel Comics)

            These wicked beings lashed out immediately leading with magic and mental attacks. Flatfooted our hobos tried to assert control. Unfortunately, they were facing a race that was well versed in human subjugation. The serpent leader took mental control of Steve who began to slaughter his only friends in the whole wide world. He gutted Rahgnar and then decapitated Akercocke. Even though Carla had successfully held him psionic powers only require mental function. As buckets of our blood covered the battlefield we began to turn the tide, and then one of the serpents let loose a fireball. Half of our band was now smelling their own mortality. The hobos desperately rallied against the looming TPK. It worked. The serpent line was broken and momentum was gained the dread magics were interrupted. We put them down and were left with the open portal standing before us.

            It was decided that Lenny would return to Helix with Rahgnar, the newly mostly disembowelled, and the rest would press on in hope of discovering ‘what the hell is going on’. Stepping through the open portal we found ourselves in a wet and dark subterranean cavern. The smell was different, it was ancient and alien. The remains of our fire at our feet, a number of passageways and a very cryptic ‘scarecrow’- just over there. 

            Welcome to XXXXXXX (censored for the sake of the children err snowflakes).

(Image by: LeonaFlorianova, Another image liberated, most likely, from Deviant Art free promotion for you!)         

ROLLCALL

XP not updated. ‘cuz you got jack shit.

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 70241 xp +10% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 68077 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 63415 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 54462 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 25408 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 66357 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 57128 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 51041 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

Bunny the Sharper (T7) 57839 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 26622 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 47356 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 79210 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 31680 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Guide (R6) 28820 xp +10% <50000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 11 DAYS

 

Elapsed Campaign Time

160 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Sixty-six when we ask the questions:

Tale of the Tape

Firstly, Steve opened up Rahgnar’s guts fortunately Bimbles was able to stuff a lot of it back in (mostly dead).

Secondly, Steve did a much more permanent job and took Ack’s head off (dead, dead,dead).

KILLS

8 members of the serpent people expeditionary force.

LOOT

A piece of paper 

An alien pistol

Warnings not Understood (Session 64)

 SESSION 64:  Right, Where are We Going Now? (22Jan18)

             Ouch. These are some aching skulls. Attempts to piece together the previous night’s revelry did not go well. Oh, and we discovered an eyeball on Lenny’s back along with a host of questionable cysts. Nevertheless, we had an appointment with Muzzah. Lenny couldn’t get worse in the short-term – right?

            Muzzah was off the amphetamines and that made his concern with universal balance very clear. Another dimension is pushing its way into our reality. Rewriting the celestial order. Real bad mother fucking stuff. He had identified a coming bridge or more poignantly a portal during the next harvest moon. He needed us to investigate, travel through, and collect information and artifacts on what lies beyond. We had 2.5 days to travel to the site, ancient ruins of a temple to a forgotten evil goddess, about 5 miles north of Helix. We had nothing better to do so we hit the wilderness. The true home of a MurderHobo.

            The journey was fairly classic, the environment went from pleasant to foreboding. The ruins rested upon a hillock, punching an opening in the forest like a festering sore, marble structures jutting scabrously from the apex. A levelled temple and a ceremonial circle wrapped in two rings of offset marble slabs adorned in time worn glyphs. Careful investigation was conducted. Nothing except the ravages of time, until we entered the circle. An altar ancient yet newer than the surrounding ruins, dead centre. A stunted black tree wearing a crown of antlers and adorned in hanging ornaments composed of wood and bones in strange shapes. In front two stones, like broken teeth each with a carved spiral pattern.  Before the jagged teeth sat a ceremonial stone dish inlayed with an unknown symbol and holding three ancient gold coins bearing a design of unknown origin along with a crumpled piece of parchment. Uncertain of the implications our gang went back to investigating the site in search of a way into the earth- there must be a dungeon! The day wore long and night came. 

    Under the baleful watch of the moon giant owls attacked. Once we got our bearings they were dispersed. Shortly after a thick fog crawled up the hill like claws from the grave. It came bearing gifts more black stunted trees each adorned with cryptic ornaments. The following morning while disposing of the carcasses downslope a gross of giant killer frogs, attracted by the smell of death, leapt out of the forest in search of breakfast. They to were driven back. We used the second day to really get our search on. Pulling up the tree at the altar a skull was discovered of ophidian origin, inscribed within the cranial bowl with the same symbol seen on the marker stones. Mystery level rising and it rose some more and then during the darkest hour of the second evening reality began to flicker. Where we had a raging bonfire an archway with bronze doors began to appear between seconds. Then each second became longer and longer. The fire was gone and instead there was an inscribed archway bearing ornate doors. The other world has merged with ours, what lays beyond can only be known as adventure.

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 70241 xp +10% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 68077 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 63415 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 54462 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 25408 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 66357 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 57128 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 51041 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

Bunny the Sharper (T7) 57839 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 26622 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 47356 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 79210 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 31680 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Guide (R6) 28820 xp +10% <50000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 13 DAYS

Elapsed Campaign Time

158 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Sixty-five when we ask the questions:

What is beyond?

Where is beyond?

Tale of the Tape

All hearts continue to pump, but this was a big setup Im certain.

KILLS

Giant Owls (3) 240

Giant Killer Frogs (11)

LOOT

Three golden coins older than time.

WooWee! (Session 63)

 SESSION 63:  The Party (8JAN18)

            We were back in town. Packing a mountain of bag fresh meat, axe beak and bulette. Dropped a mountain of coin to have a big party with the yokels. Also, phat donations were made to YGG – gotta have soul power. Delving deeper into Len’s slowly deteriorating condition provided no insight. Ding-We’s leg was vandalized by Bret and Jemaine because kobolds rule! A visit to Muzzah showed that Rammer was growing rather well but also delivered a grim portent. In exchange for re-fleshing Bunny we must investigate a possible breach between worlds. Things from beyond are pushing on the boundaries of reality, whatever that means.

            Two days later the party commenced. Dinger is that sorta guy. He immediately brought forth LOTS of strange smoking weed and a mountain of mushrooms…

(A great image to represent (a fab psychedelic trip, borrowed probably from Deviant Art, source maybe Callie Fink with apologies)

The next day we tried to put the pieces back together. Steve tried to fuck his way out of a near death experience, narrowly avoiding a rotting dick. Carla was pick pocketed. Bunny went right off, miraculously maintaining her reputation. Ack invested all his assets in a sure-fire investment.  Ding-We caught hold of some juicy tales. Sasha learned that she has a talent for gambling or had accrued a huge surplus of luck. Poor Lenardo the blighted was beat half to death and left naked in an alley. The rest went hard with the townsfolk like it was 1999 or so the story goes, the decided absence of memory makes the story notably uncertain. No one will ever accept party favours from Ding-We again.

             

ROLECALL

 

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 70036 xp +10% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 67474 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 63005 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 52653 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 24202 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 65151 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 57106 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 49430 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 25822 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 45756 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 78410 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 30680 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Woods(wo)man (R5) 23320 xp +10% <25000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 16 DAYS

Bunny the PETRIFIED Sharper (T7) 57817 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II 

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

155 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Sixty-four when we ask the questions:

What does this mission have in store for us?

Do we need to roleplay the deadly hangover?

Tale of the Tape

All were poisoned by recreational drugs

KILLS

Just brain cells            

LOOT

A whole lotta community credit

Running for Home (Session 62)

SESSION 62: Return to Base (27DEC17)

            Falling back from Uthak’s final resting place the subtle smell of rotting meat came in with the soft pull created by the gauntlet of rooms reopening to the rest of Barrowmaze. We fel back slowly and yet were surprised when some previously dispatched foes arose form undeath to again battle. Then in the next chamber, it was empty something had reclaimed reclaimed or called forth the bested zombies. The smell of rotting meat slowly intensifying. But the air was dead so making assessment was complicated. Returning to the chamber where they had stored the statue Bunny. She was still there and still stone. They hobos moved on, to the chamber of the elemental demon lord. The source of the vile scent finally showing itself. Being lead along in chains by two ogre sized rotting things of Nergal was a horrific and gigantic lump of flesh thing. It opened its maw and then opened it some more and then opened it even further – big enough to swallow a man. Belching forth the source of the vile odour. First there was hard retching, then there was hard fighting, and then there was a wet and vile explosion. Covered in sticking gore the battle completed. Fatigue had now set in, so we decided to hole up in the chamber directly south. At one point noises were heard in the adjacent chamber but when our group finally stuck their heads out the cause was gone. Later to be identified as a group of heavy hoofed bipedal creatures – perhaps minotaurs. We finished up our rest and got the hell out.

            Things were afoot topside. The telltale sound of murderhobos at work. Investigating it was indeed another sizable party, on their second foray to the barrow mounds. They confessed to, presently, being only topside looters. The stories of death and dismemberment below has tempered their activities. After a little more blah blah blah our band continued their journey back into the swamp. 

            All was wet and cold until we had a pair of encounters. The first was a pack of redneck berserkers, well they were actually wereboars, but Bimbles cooled them down and combat was avoided. The second was more dire, we were attacked by a pair of land sharks that burst from the earth! In an explosion of earth and rock the first came with massive claws and a colossal beak that nearly split Steve in two. It would have if Steve hadn’t successfully fended off one of the claws. He fell back a whisper away from death. These may have been the most brutal creatures they had ever encountered, unbelievable brute strength. However, rather than creating fear the situation was crystal clear. Steve led the charge back in, these bulettes must be defeated before they can attack again. No party member was going to survive another full-on attack. 

The gods smiled upon our time travelling pseudo-heroes. 

All made it back to Helix alive.    

This time.        

ROLECALL

Carla the Green Lama of TMB (C7) 69620 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the Lama of GSS (C7) 67058 xp +5% <100001> CRT 1d14  /III

Hobo Steve the Myrmidon (F6) 62589 xp +5% (101) <70001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 52237 xp <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

Raul the Wayfarer (MD5) 23786 xp <30000> CRT 1d20/II

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Myrmidon (D6) 64735 xp +10% <70001> CRT 1d24/V

            Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face                           

Lenardo the Technician (S7) 56690 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/I

            Light wound: permanent loss of two fingers (pinky and next) left hand

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Magician(W6) 49014 xp +10% <80001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated

            The Henchmen

Arnd Cobblestone the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D5) 25614 xp +5% <35001> CRT 1d20/ IV

Akercocke the Minotaur Warder(M6) 45548 xp <80001> CRT 1d14/ III

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY6) 78202 <130001> CRT 1d14/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

Sloth the Roughneck (L5) 30472 <36960> CRT 1d24/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

Sasha Plasha the Woods(wo)man (R5) 23112 xp +10% <25000> CRT as cleric

 

RESERVES

Ramrod the Cloned Burglar (T5) 19543 xp +5% <20001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp

            Missing six teeth talks with a lisp

            Being cloned 45 days

                        REMAINING RECUPERATION: 18 DAYS

Bunny the PETRIFIED Sharper (T7) 57817 xp <80001> +10% CRT 1d30/II 

            

Elapsed Campaign Time

153 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Sixty-three when we ask the questions:

How much trouble can carousing actually cause?

Tale of the Tape

So very close…

KILLS   

Barrow wight Returned 

Juju Zombies Returned (2) 

Death Enforcement Troopers (2) 

Stink Breath Rotting giant 

Wereboars (5) 

Bulettes (2) 

LOOT

Natch.