Like Cows to the Slaughter (Session 314)

SESSION 314: The Lost Crypt pt. VIII – You got bug on my bear. Well you got bear on my bug. 

Slogging from room-to-room it was a bugbear massacre.

 

Day 282 Continued (Dungeon): Down another passage they went. Once more the sound beastmen doing something in the distance. They moved quickly under a shroud of silence. The gang would have gotten the jump this time if a clanging hadn’t of commenced from behind. Sounded distinctly like beings hammering on that sealed iron door to the hobos. 

To the bugbears it sounded distinctly like an alarm. 

Another ambush foiled! 

The hobos pushed towards the mouth of the chamber. Inside was a common room. Evidenced by a stream of non-combatants beaten foot out the back leaving their grub and stuff laying about. Once more tables were flipped as buggy’s took defensive positions. This time there was more than just bugbears. There were minotaurs, that charged from the darkness at just the right time. Wham! Giving his head a shake after taking a bull-man full-on Rhags was reinvigorated to see that their hooved opponents were well adorned in jewelry. Sure these were the trophies of many the eaten humanoid but now they would become hobos pay – Hot damn! 

The bugbears tried fruitlessly to disable the spell casters with missile attacks. This allowed the two magicians to drop some heavy tenderizing down on the beastman horde. BoB loosed arrows a necessary from her preferred vantage on the ceiling while Biff and Mason pulled double duty watching the teams six and covering the wimp and the gimp (Biff’s words not mine). It took a little work but as the story goes… don’t place yourself in-between a murderking and their weapon. Once the final slab of beef hit the floor the bugbears had already began to cool. They quickly grabbed their loot, a princely sum in jewelry and a few other things.

Nothing like a good payout to put the spring was back in your boots. Out the back of the chamber they went a short passage winding and quickly warming brought them to the armory. Weapon racks hung on the walls, and a small forge glowed in the back of the chamber. The weapons were crude iron and low steel but still had a mean look to them. Beside the furnace stood a beast of a bugbear grinning. The clan smithy had been waiting and fixing for this fight. All he needed was that brief moment of distraction. 

    --Wham-O!

Steve and Rhags were once more hammered by Minotaurs. This time just a pair. The smith hurled a pair of spears and then charged into the fray with a massive glowing hammer. The tanks engaged the mad moos and Chung-Li had the time to discharge a fireball at the lumbering bugbear. Ouch that hurt. Steve dropped his opponent quick enough to cause the smith to turn and run for the previously unseen iron rung ladder at the other side of the chamber. He got halfway up before Ding-We blew him up real good. Steve, Biff, and Rhags then skewered the final minotaur. 

As ash and soot rained down, the only remnants of the smithy, the gang was once more reminded that blowing shit up is fun but often also nukes your pay. They weren’t supper bothered as these minos also were adorned in trophies. We will never know what was up with the glowing hammer. 

After grabbing their loot and a snack all attention turned to the iron rung ladder.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 374812 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 276035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 558060 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 123997 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 86194 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 99327 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 137189 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

722d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Fifteen when we ask the questions:

I wonder where the iron rung ladder leads to?

I wonder what was banging on the wizard locked door?

Do bugbears normally hobnob with minotaurs?

Speaking of Hob(k)nobs why are these dorks so challenging for our mighty hobos?

Tale of the Tape

Players – 3, DM – 0 

KILLS

Bugbears (27) 

Bugbear Bigboy Blacksmith 

Minotaurs (6) 

LOOT

Potion of levitation

Cloak of Flight

58 gp

10 pp

Jeweled armband 60 gp

5000 sp

5000 ep

Gems (2): 100gp opal, 50 gp hematite = 150 gp

Assorted Jewelry (10): 1600,800,500,1000,1100,1300,1100,1600,900,900= 11,200 gp

A Dead End One Way Passage (Session 313)

SESSION 313: The Lost Crypt pt. VII – The Place at the End of the Passage 

A long walk down a natural passage leads to the lair complex of the bugbears.

 

Day 279 (Base CampàLiwil): Yup. Something is wrong with Steve. His tick hole was festering something nasty. Mason, finally, took a serious look at him. Gave the wound a touch and was gifted a vile vomiting of disease from the black and seeping chest pit. The clerics omnipresent helm saved him from eating the vile abscess contents. He did need to clean his eyes of the gross gunk before calling down powerful restorative magicks - by the grace of Yrrg! Steve immediately began to improve but he still would not be delving today. Rather than waste the day Ding-We declared they would return to Liwil for the day to resupply and such. One night of sleep out of the snow and cold was short but well received.

 

Day 280 (Liwil): Just buggering about town.

 

Day 281 (LiwilàDungeon Camp): Cloudy and cold. Simple day of traveling back to the stone garden and setting up a new base camp outside the dungeon.

 

Day 282 (Dungeon CampàDungeon): Unusually warm. Back into the dungeon complex went our hobos as their garrison set up lawn chairs and sun reflectors to suck up the rays – “Later dudes!”. The vast complex did not rally any defense as the Hobos made their way back to the unexplored stairwell in the lost crypt. Ding-We mused if they had beaten the underworld. Rhags told him not to get his hopes up, “Probably biding its time”. Everyone tried to peer a little deeper into the inky abyss beyond their light. 

How did we get here?

The stairwell led to a natural subterranean passage that ended up going for a couple of miles. Nary a side passage but they did find recent sign of other passerby’s. A few bones chewed along with some other detritus and what appeared to be large hooved prints. Without a real tracker present they did not glean too much other than it looked like the entities were also going down the tunnel. An hour or so later things were discovered.

An iron door and beyond the sound of gruff voices. They could not distinguish the words but Chung-Li was fairly confident of a goblinoid origin. Beastmen are afoot. It was decided that the noise would be addressed rather than the metal door. Before they crept passed Ding-We put a wizard lock on the door, “Good luck trying to bite us on the ass. Whatever is beyond”. Down the passageway they slunk. Twenty or so minutes later, and under the cover of silence, they approached a dimly lit chamber (I will mercifully skip over the long and tedious course of action deliberation phase once more). Bugbears were the occupants. It looked like barracks then it quickly turned to barricades as bugbears are notoriously sly and astute buggers. A munber of tables were flipped in the centre of the chamber for a host to huck spears from behind as two formations rushed along the rails to pull off the pincher. Your average ordinary hobos would have been pierced, slashed and punctured at this point. However, with the likes of Steve and Rhags holding the line as Ding-We and the mooks comfortably threw counter strikes from behind the beastmen were quickly laid to permanent rest. 

The pay stunk, and so they pushed on deeper into the complex.

 

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 374812 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 276035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                      

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 558060 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 123997 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 86194 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 99327 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 137189 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

719d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Fourteen when we ask the questions:

How big is this lair?

Will we have to fight room-to-room?

Was anything beyond that metal door?

 

Tale of the Tape

Players – 1, DM – 0 

KILLS

Bugbears (12) 

LOOT

36 gp

I Gots Ants in My Pants (Session 312)

SESSION 312: The Lost Crypt pt. VI – I Swear this Dungeon Wants to Kill You. 

Resolving encumbrance and the ant nest was a protracted affair. 

 

Day 278 Continued (The Crypt): It was time to pack to loot. Well after another inordinate amount of time the loot was actually packed back into the alcove and warded with a magic alarm mouth. Then it was time to get back to the ant lair. More time was gobbled up trying to find the perfect action. Steve rooted through the mould chamber to determine if there was any treasure that would be destroyed if a fireball was used to nuke the deadly yellow mold. Seemed all to be junk underneath the saffron carpet in this oddly cool cavern. Ding-We launched a fireball. The flames consumed the yellow mould but super charged the also present small patch of brown mould. Ding-We immediately felt his bodily warmth being drained from him. He made a quick exit and reviewed his Who's Who log book, “Ugh brown mould makes cold and loves fire but hates cold”. Back in he went to discharge two cones of cold into the chamber (one was not enough). 

Now the chamber was mould free. 

The rest of the gang rolled in and once assembling into marching order they progressed to the next chamber. 

Pushing their way through giant ant carcass laden passage Steve and Rhags came towards the next chamber opening. Rhags tossed his light stone into the sandy floored cavern, “Oh look giant ants that are not happy to see us. 

We found the nest!”. 

Warrior ants closed in on warrior hobos. They packed a nasty poisonous bite but they only got one chance with the Murder-tanks holding the line. 

Chop. Chop.

Now the drones closed in, lots and lots of drones. “More than I can count”, hollered Steve. Chung-Li figured this was a good time for decisive action, “Step out I’m going to launch a fire ball”. “What of our treasure? We cannot go around slagging all our sweet sweet lucre!”, lamented the one-legged wizard. His pleading fell on deaf ears. Everyone else wanted to get things done they had barely survived the last couple of days and felt that much of it was from dithering. The elf pointed his wand into the chamber and things got hot. Too hot for the drones, they were all incinerated. 

They rolled into the sandy chamber. It was felt that there was a queen and she would be somewhere most likely under the sand. That was true. She was an enormous thing and when the queen exploded from the ground her bulk created a cavity so large that it created a sinkhole like effect within melee distance. This caused a number of headaches. She also had a paralytic bite that incapacitated Biff. Someone noticed that Biff looked a little off, his defense seemed slow. The fight was dragging on until Ding-We was able to polymorph the giant ant into his preferred giant lagomorph, “Its hopping away get it!”. It was much easier to slaughter a largely defenceless rabbit. 

Poor rabbit. 

They were afforded no time to even clean their blades the ruckus had attracted four burrowing behemoths. 

“Umber hulks. Don’t look at their eyes!” yelled Ding-We. They were surrounded. Biff was still paralyzed and BoB, Mason and Chung-Li were clearly imperilled. BoB was able to make an escape after getting clawed, open combat is a death sentence for our ninja-girl. Mason and Chung-Li clearly could not stand long against these beasts either. It did not help that everyone were fighting with averted gaze, making themselves easier targets and hitting the hulks notably more difficult. Ding-We decided to try to play the hulks own game. The tables needed to turn quick to avoid disaster. He cast confusion and it worked, buggering up three of them. Chung-Li at the same time webbed one then to slow it down for a few rounds. The tables had been turned. Mason and Chung-Li were able to fall back. This allowed Mason to remove Biff’s paralysis before he was murdered. Chung-Li brought out his bow and loosed two very lucky shots blinding a pair of the hulks, thus countering their confusing gaze. In its fury one of the beasts killed a pal leaving it open to be chopped down by Rhags and Steve. With one still webbed and the remaining blinded it was not long before Steve was rooting through their guts for loot. Those giant belly’s sure could hold a lot of stuff. A mountain of coin, a potion and a bunch of scrolls somehow preserved in digestive resistant tubes. They were not that great. One was cursed (burning another ward charge), another had lame divine spells and the other two were for protecting against lycanthropes (already had a stockpile of those). 

 

Once more flush with more loot than they could carry, the gang deliberated on their next action for the umpteenth time today. Egress would be the course of action. The magic mule was summoned once more and buried in sacks of loot. A hobo probably would have received a bite for this but they were also underneath sack load. Back to base camp they slowly plodded. 

 

It was not until they reached the hydra lair did the hobos have an encounter. A pair of cave bears were deeply involved in the hydra carcass, nice and stinky rotten. They let out some territorial growls and the larger of the two stood up showing its massive size. The mob gave as wide a berth as possible making their way back to the stairs. This satisfied the animals. 

 

Not much further now. Through the medusa/ gargoyle lair they found themselves stepping once more into the wintery outdoors. The base camp seemed unmolested and guards quickly approached to help with the loot. 

Steve had not said anything on the long walk but he was feeling not so good and needed a rest, he did look a little pale.

The night passed uneventfully.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 369987 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 270910 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                      

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 552935 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 121434 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 83631 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 96764 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 134626 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

718d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Thirteen when we ask the questions:

What will they find down the passage?

What’s wrong with Steve and Biff?

What about that stone box with no hinges nor seams?

Tale of the Tape

Is something building to something?

KILLS

Yellow moulds (many) 

Mega-Brown-mould 

Giant Warrior Ants (3) 

Giant Drone Ants (40) 

Giant Ant Queen 

Umber Hulks (4) 

LOOT

500 pp

20000 gp

Gems (4): 10, 1000, 10, 100 = 1120 gp

Potion of Cloud giant control

Scrolls (2) Pro from Lycanhropes

Divine Scroll: Cure Light, Snake Charm