When it Rains it Rains Stone Blocks (Session 309)

SESSION 309: The Lost Crypt pt. III – If it weren’t for bad luck…                  26May24 

Let us start with a tsunami of zombies and then see what happens next

 

Day 276 Continued (The Crypt): The stench hit moments before the wave of rotting flesh. Steve was steamrolled, Rhags somehow held his footing. Chunks of rotting meat broke sprayed over our tanks. Rank rotting things with an insatiable urge to consume living flesh. With Steve buried Ding-We unleashed a cone of cold. For the greater gain he had to include Steve and Rhags in the blast. A calculated risk that paid off. The zombies and their gross stink has been frozen. Steve crawled out from the pile of frozen corpses and proceeded to ignore his poor performance. Luckily Biff likes him so no ribbing was forthcoming. Rhags was preoccupied with getting the frost out of his beard. This charnel chamber housed those whom were once peasants and the time they spent looking for loot was not fruitful. There was also a door that lead to a storage room. It offered the remnants of useless stuff and another door. More time wasted (never a good thing in a dungeon as the random clock keeps ticking). Either continue along the corridor that led to the zombie chamber or behind door number one. The took the door.

 

It was another burial chamber the walls once more lined with niches an another door. With no dead welcoming party they felt that they could use some more time searching for pay. This time they were modestly rewarded a scroll and a platinum symbol of another long forgotten god. Beyond the door was another corridor that disappeared into darkness. BoB once more utilized her spider climbing ability to walk along a wall from the point. She walked slowly tapping the floor with her ten foot pole in hopes of uncovering any traps prior to mishap. Unfortunately, the floor was not trapped it was simply unsafe. Rhags did not notice several telltale ultra-fine cracks in the dust covered polished stone floor. The geohazard was triggered by Mr. Peg-leg. The floor fell away into an erosional feature swallowing Steve, Rhags, Ding-We and Mason. 

The fall hurt once they came to a full stop forty feet down. 

Many groans could be heard and what a racket…

“Get the rope of climbing and get us out of this pit”, yelled a mostly squashed Ding-We.

“Bunny gots the damn rope ya damn twit”, was Biff’s response.

More groans followed.

BoB snapped her fingers to get Chung-Li’s and Biff’s attention. First she somehow helped the other two across the chasm (how I don’t know as it seemed to have happened magically) and then they worked on a conventional rope escape system. This did not go super smoothly. 

Tick-toc went the dungeon clock.

At the end of the corridor was another door about 15’ from the pit edge. Just as the gang were almost back on their feet the door opened. Just enough for a cloaked head to peer down the corridor. BoB saw this and clanged an alert with her blade upon the wall. It was definitely humanoid. The gang tried to get into defensive position. They were however mostly flat-footed. Throwing back its hood revealed a decidedly octopodian head of purplish colour. “Oh no” came from those in the know and then came the a blast of mental energy. A moment before this Biff and BoB were able to loose missiles into the adversary. Steve, Chung-Li, Biff and Ding-We were paralyzed. Rhags charged, BoB jumped to the wall and the abomination fell back into the unknown chamber after an unsuccessful attempt to dominate the dwarf. Rhags charged through the door into a large chamber with a wonderous mosaic floor. This was lost to Rhags as he activated his ring of jumping to reach the now flying brain eater across the room. 

CLICK!

A stone block fell from the ceiling.

SPLAT!

Rhagnar has been removed from the board.

Mason hurled a Warhammer after quickly stopping when he saw the falling block. BoB stuck the abomination with an arrow from her shadowy vantage on the ceiling. Mr. Tentacle Face moved to eliminate Mason. BoB slunk into position for a backstab. The flayer was not tricked and counterd with a brutal mind attack. BoB vomited up a gout of blood. She was near death. Mason had nothing that could affect the mind flayer from a distance and nor did he want to risk being squashed like Rhagnar. This was the precipice of the end. 

BoB had one chance a single arrow. If she failed they would all be dead.

Twang. BoBby hit, perhaps even guided by divine hand. The mind flayer fell to the ground.

CLICK!

A(nother) stone block fell from the ceiling.

SPLAT!

(more than a little artistic licence, but you get the point. BoB saved everyone)

Not so handsome Mason knew how close they were to doom and had to take off his helmet, something he is very reticent to do due to his horrible facial injuries, to draw an unrestricted breath. BoB came a breath away from violating her vow of silence. 

“He’s not dead!”, Mason could hear Rhagnar struggling for breath.

“…I’m close…real close…being slowly…crushed…just like our loot ya dang idjits…”, rasped Rhagnar the drama queen.

After this things occurred. Those of which were conducted in the mosaic chamber only traversed areas previously tread. BoB was healed, the paralyzed were remobilized and some sort of cockamamie plan was executed to release the dwarf. All his mundane and/or fragile stuff was destroyed but he was free and alive. 

By this time the day was long. They camped atop the two huge stone blocks. 

During the rest cycle things tried to gain entrance to the chamber. Thumping, bashing and scratching. The ancient brass door did not yield. 

 

Day 277 (The Crypt): Today the dungeon weather was once more dark and dungeony. BoB figured out the location of the final two stone block traps allowing the gang to safely traverse the chamber. Three doors. They decided to go north. It opened to an alchemists laboratory. Old corroded alchemical tools sit on benches in the middle of this room. Opaque, cloudy jars dot the shelves along the wall. A book of some kind lies on the workbench alongside the tools. A skeleton in tattered robes lies just under the edge of the table. Ding-We got excited until he got a close look. The stuff was largely junk, but they did find a trio of potions and a possible diary. The book would require magical assistance to decipher the lingo. Back to the main chamber and then the west door. A corridor went thirty feet before  once more terminating in trio of doors. This time they went south. A filthy chamber full starving swarming rats. After the previous day, a few hundred rats don’t mean jack shit. They were rewarded with a pittance of silver.

Backing up, where do we go next?

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 350909 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 258132 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth        

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 540157 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 115045 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 77242 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 90375 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 109721 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny & the Holy Rollers Group Newville) Busy until 779

716d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Ten when we ask the questions:

Are we going to continue having BoB play fast and loose with her fragile little mortal coil?

Have we caught on that being loose with time could be the death of us?

I wonder what sort of horde was obliterated with the mind flayer?

Not so tough are we?

Tale of the Tape

Tentacle face was not far from killing everyone. Give praise to BoB!

KILLS

Zombies (40) 

Mind Lasher or Flayer or Illithid 

Rat Swarms (2) 

LOOT

1156 sp

Platinum holy symbol of a long forgotten god 275 gp

Scroll: Remove Curse

Murder Diggers (Session 308)

SESSION 308: The Lost Crypt pt. II – Death Diggers 

The restless dead and something in a box

 

Day 276 (Base CampàLost Crypt): The snow had returned this morning. It was a good time to be underground. The journey back down was uneventful so they decided to investigate the anomaly in the natural passage between the crypt and serpent-man hideout. 

There was something entombed in the wall. After mucho fiddle faddle Ding-We utilized potent magics to excavate into the wall and find whatever was hidden. A perfectly sealed stone box, 2’x2’, with runes. Chung-Li could recognize an ancient derivative or form of Elven. He could not get much more than a broad sense of intent – it appeared to be derogatory in nature. Not much but a little more than nothing. Rhags looked for a seam but the box gave none of its secrets. They were perplexed so they stuffed it back into the wall hole for later. Really the thing was heavy and no one wanted to take it into and about the crypt. Still a problem for later. 

 

Returning to the altar chamber they pressed deeper through another ornate bronze door. The next chamber was a funerary preparation chamber. Jars, worktables, and tools are all scattered haphazardly around this room. Tatters of cloth and leather lie on tables and benches. A cabinet stands in the southwest corner. The cabinet had a scythe trap that wanged Rhags. Looking inside was a book beside a yellowed cloth. They saw this for the mold it was and sent BoB’s dextrous arm in to snatch the book. She was able to retrieve it without disturbance. The wizards felt the play was worth it to get the ancient book burial rites and procedures, some weirdo would pay lots of coin for it. 

 

The next chamber was a mausoleum. Inside the room, six sarcophagi stood upright against opposite walls. All were carved with the same intricate detail as seen in the previous chambers. In the middle of the room was one more sarcophagus that was open, the lid broken and cast aside. It was a distraction. The sealed boxes each housed a diabolical mummy, good thing Sloth was elsewhere, that sprung forth at just the right time to get the jump on the hobos. It was a fight. Mason finally felt the ancient wickedness of this place as he failed to obliterate any of the dead with the holy light of Yrrg. But worry not readers this fight did come to completion and our gang of murderers were well rewarded in gold, gems and jewelry. This being why we risk our lives each and every day.

 

Leaving the mausoleum the corridor offered an interesting twist. Either follow along or investigate the obvious ingress into the crypt. Something has dug its way in. It would be tight as the tunnel was about 3’ round. They stayed within the crypt proper. The corridor ran for 60 or so feet before turning and running another 80 feet before opening into a filthy, stinking crypt lined chamber. BoB was sent in as she could not complain about the scent (stench). She climed along the corridor wall and then the ceiling. This was a good plan. As she go t to the centre of the chamber her stink of life activated the inhabitants of this crypt.

Zombies. 

They rolled out of their holes like water. 

A veritable wall of rotting flesh was writhing its way to our front line.

“Oh jeez”, was all Steve had to offer.

Rhags hunkered down for the tsunami of rotting flesh.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 339875 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 247098 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth              

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 529123 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 109529 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 71726 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 84859 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 109721 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

716d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Nine when we ask the questions:

What happens when you get hit by a zombie tsunami?

How can zombies even tsunami?

Why can’t crypts be a fugus wonderland rather a gauntlet of undead horrors?

Tale of the Tape

Not even mummy rot…

KILLS

Barrow Mummies (6) 

LOOT

Mix of coins, gems and jewelry 14,340 gp

Book of dead preparation (funerary) 2500 gp

Potion of Ethereality 

Scrolls of the divine (6)

A Murder Place Deep Under Ground (Session 307)

SESSION 307: Pounded into Dust - The Lost Crypt pt. I

After odd, but very friendly, night visitors the gang plunges into the depths once more. 

 

Day 274 (Base Camp Continued): “Hellooo! Is there space at the fire?”. A group of seven humans all in heavy armour and cloaked in heavy furs. Stepped from the darkness. There may have been a moment of tension as they assayed our camp and crew. One stepped forward. “Hello friends. I am Hamuch and these are my companions. Would there be space by your fire? For the night is cold, dark and hungry. We represent the ‘Light & Way’ bringing peace and love in the name of Moo-Ham-Jam”. Biff grumbled, “Everyone has their own god these days”. As Rhags and Ding-We exchanged glances Steve could not help himself, “Hungry you say, well I am Lord Steve of Gormandia and I love to cook for any and all and the fire is also hungry!”. The cultists acknowledged Steve’s invitation and rolled into camp. “Let us night feast!”, proclaimed Steve. They were mostly quiet accept for the leader whom was a cleric and he asked many questions while also speaking much of their deity. The night wore on and a new dawn arrived. The cleric thanked the hobos for their hospitality before marching once more Westwards. 

 

Day 275 (Into the dungeon): Down, down dungeon down. Arriving at the pitch black natural cavern just beyond the serpent-men’s fleshy map chamber. The delve commenced. It would take an hour so before the discovery of the lost crypt but first they had a maddening encounter. It started with incomprehensible gibberish and then a green slimy blob thing comprised of mouths and eyes. It was a rogue gibbering mouther and not our long lost friend Len-ardo the scientist. The fight was challenging and the goobers were quite happy there was only one booger to deal with, multiples could have quickly ended the day in failure. The thing had no loot but an anomaly was noticed in portion of the passage wall. Rhags marked for future investigation. They wanted to stick to the task at hand. 

At the end of the aforementioned hour-or-so they found themselves standing before a carved steps that led to a pair of ancient and elaborate, but corroded, bronze doors. They were open just a crack. They could not quite get any line of site beyond the portal. The began moving down the steps when Rhags noticed the passageway looked unstable, “Keep it quiet and don’t touch anything” he whispered. There were bone shards scattered about the landing before the doors. Nobody gave it much thought. Rhags poked his head in and shined his light into the unknown beyond the doors. Three tall stone statues on each side line this dusty, 20-foot-wide entry hall. Each statue bears the proud visage of some forgotten king or sage. Corroded bronze doors about 60’ feet away at the end of the corridor reflected light back at the Dwarf. They rolled in and began investigating the statues. As oft happens a voice boomed in some forgotten language and our hobos had nothing better than “meep moop”. It seemed to be an interaction failure. The final two statues stepped off their bases and began swinging with stone fists – KaPow! They exuded an aura of sloth. That slowed things down. Rhags and Steve did their jobs of stepping in front of fists as the rest of the gang widdled away at the golems. When they both were finally pulverized the golems were nice enough to have revealed a source of loot. Each of the pedestals that the golems had rested held a secret compartment with a trio of exquisite diamonds. Feeling pumped they opened the door at the end of the passage (east).

The corridor turned to the north but the parquet tile floor looked real sketchy on one side. After a head scratch, Ding-We called shenanigans. A little investigation latter the declaration was confirmed. They bypassed the trap. The corridor ended in another bronze door 50’ later. It was another trap. A fake door housing poisonous gas. Rhags and Steve were engulfed. Steve with his atmospheric stabilization system didn’t notice and you need something more potent than ancient farts to bring down a Dwarven Superhero.

They figured that there must be a secret somewhere in the corridor. There was a false wall. Once they eventually found it and were presented another corridor going off to the southeast. This place had been built by craftsmen, even under dust the ancient crypt showed its masterwork construction.  Our guys didn’t really get hung up on this. 

The corridor lead to three chambers.

The first was the servants crypt that was rightfully packed with ghouls then into an octagonal prayer chamber that was littered with piles of debris. This turned out to be a dozen scorpion nests. BoB has silently come to appreciate being on the ceiling most of the time, also the design of her cloak of the arachnid really goes with her ninja suit. The third chamber was a shrine. The rotting remains of once-opulent tapestries hang on the walls. More detritus litters the floor. A raised platform along the northeastern wall is carved with strange symbols. Rusty red spots discolor the outer circumference of the dais in the centre of chamber apon which was an altar. A few items — cups and a tarnished dagger — lie on the altar. They were of fine silver traced with gold, noticeable even covered in dust and the tarnish of ages. Biff scooped up the items. At the far side of the chamber was another door. 

 

It was not far after midday and our guys had taken a beating and magical resources were diminished as well. They did not trust the crypt to provide a safe sanctuary. They returned to base camp on the surface. The first delve kinda proving to be a mixed bag.

Well.. there is always tomorrow.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 339875 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 247098 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                  

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 529123 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 109529 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 71726 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 84859 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 109721 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

715d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Eight when we ask the questions:

What evil lurks in the further depths?

Those Mo-Ham-Jam guys seemed friendly enough, especially after they saw our numbers, what are they up to?

Why is it always crypts with the unrestful dead and not grottoes with naked ladies?

Tale of the Tape

No splats today.

KILLS

Gibbering mouther 350

Stone golems (2) 4600

Ghouls (20) 500

Giant scorpions (12) 1500

LOOT

Diamonds (6) 1000 gp each

800 gp

Jade chunks (7) 12 gp each = 84 gp

Luckstone

 Silverand gold cups & ceremonial dagger