Gongfarming for Riches (Session 317)

SESSION 317: The Lost Crypt pt. XI – In Search of Moar Loot! 

After a rest and some campfire hoagies our troop were convinced that another once over of the bugbear lair was due.

 

Day 283 (Dungeon): Finally they got a rest under their belts and a key in hand. They turned the chieftain’s quarter upside down finding nothing. It must be hidden somewhere…somewhere hidden by a foul creature…that does foul things…Ah ha! It must be in the shit hole! They stormed out of the chamber bound for the privy. 

The small cave reeked of filth and dung. 

Puddles of the disgusting stuff were everywhere. 

Eyes scanned for the slightest sparkle in the sea excrement but nothing. Ding-We came up with a plan. He would launch a fireball into the mess to cook the vile mess and while it cooks and then cools they would double check the evil temple prior to digging through the privy. 

Nothing was found in the temple but on the way back to the privy they ran afoul of the first of a trio of giant monitor lizards. 

(Steve, like a gentleman, gracefully sizes up his opponent as his partner (Rhags) wallows in a steaming poop pile after being grounded by a tail whip)

Voracious, even though they must have eaten their way through the hordes of dead bugbears and minotaurs the hobos had left behind. The reptile was driven off back through the hole to the lower level, not to be seen again. Not knowing that two more were lurking the gang returned to the privy now just a steamy dung hole. Steve, whom wore a necklace of adaption and Rhags being a dwarf with super constitution were the lucky poop diggers. The second of the monitor lizards ambushed the two gongfarmers moments before the third attacked from the corridor from the chieftain’s quarter. The lizards packed both a wicked bite and tail smash, that kept knocking Rhags into the steaming poop. The rinse and repeat could only last for so long until the two nearly dinosaurs were brought low. Steve delayed his farm work to gut the two lizards, “Booo! Nothing but guts. Remove these useless things from my sight!”. Back to work. He found a chest and pulled it from the excrement. Rhags tried the key. It worked and so did the still active poison needle. The dwarf laughed it off as he gazed over the glittering contents. “We gots coin and lots of it and it ain’t copper and silver!”. It was a substantial load of gold and electrum. The extra time in this hole had paid off. 

Now it was time to once more return to the surface.

Up the winding steps the climbed and opened the trap door. Once upon an age past a tower had sat here long since destroyed by the ravages of time and conflict forgotten. Now where the heck were we? Surrounded by a snow covered mixed forest resting upon rolling hills. Ugh. They could be anywhere in the Basilisk Hills or Lake of Abominations region. Ding-We recited arcane magiks and took to the air. Flying above the canopy he was greeted by a clear day and a significant line of sight.

It did not take long. 

A giant green glowing dome could be seen.. over there, a number of miles. It was the naga's space vessel home base of evil endeavours. The hobos were not all that far from controlled lands. They had ended up five or so miles north east of the stone garden where this delve had started. The wizard returned to the earth and relayed his findings. Double time march back to the Stone Garden camp. No creature stirred, none had any interest in fighting through the mountainous snow drifts. 

It took the rest of the day but they arrived just as the evening fire was being stoked by the guard.

They stayed over night and then another day to allow Mason to conduct an exorcism upon Biff. He was carrying cursed items. The sacrificial dagger and chalice from the tomb. Broken of possession Biff was back on target. 

The curse was lifted.

He had a few curses for the wizard, paying him with very questionable goods.

 

The following day they made their way back to Liwil to meet up with Felix whom was supposed to be resolving the murder mystery in the mining camp.

 

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 374812 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 276035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                      

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 558060 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Bandit Lord (HO8) 123997 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 86194 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 99327 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 137189 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

723d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Eighteen when we ask the questions:

Hey why ain’t these the questions we is asking?

What does that even mean?

Tale of the Tape

-30-

KILLS

Giant monitor lizards (3) one escaped

LOOT

3572 gp

3900 ep

Bugs in the Ointment (Session 316)

SESSION 316: The Lost Crypt pt. X – More Bugs in the Ointment

With few good options the good train MurderHobo pushed further into the lair

 

Day 282 Continued III (Dungeon): Fatigue has noticeably set in as our clowns delve deeper. Giant Steve had finished his excavation into the guts of the Behir exhuming a load of gems and jewelry. We must be reminded that when one becomes covered in guts and gore at a giant size when they revert to normal dimensions the gore volume does not change. Stevie was now a moving pile of goop. They did their best to dig him out and scrape the chunks off but they really needed Bimbles ever full jug to actually clean him up. They needed to hustle as the stink would be coming soon. 

Back into the dungeon proper they went. 

This would lead to the final battle with the bugbears.

Going down the branching corridor they came to another metal door. Beyond was the foul and evil temple of the bugbears. A large chamber covered in crude icons and symbols revering whatever demonic entity they deified. Across the chamber was a blood stained altar. It was in this area that the shaman and his acolytes hid awaiting the arrival of the hobos. The sneaky buggers launched a sneak attack and our gang noticed that they were within a sphere of silence. Simultaneously with the first strike one of the bugbears began bashing a large shield – the alarm had been sounded. Our mob were no worse for wear after the first salvo but another host of bugbears had showed up behind. It was the chief and his retinue. 

If the bugbears had really known the potency of our frontline alone they probably would have abandoned their lair. Unfortunately for these despicable creatures they did not have full measure of their opponents and were about to be slaughtered after a few lucky blows. 

 

After a quick bit of looting the gang backtracked and found their way to the final chamber of the lair. It was the chieftain’s now empty quarters. In the back was a winding stone stairwell that lead to a trap door and the surface – Huzzah! They were done.  

The trapdoor was fortified along with the door to the chamber and the gang proceeded to ge ta much needed rest.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 358909 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 323144 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 374812 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 276035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth  

Raul the Voyager (MD9) 280600 xp +10% <360000> CRT 1d12/III

            Fezzi-Gig (Neut: XXXX) Sword

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4, 

Removed one of his own nostrils.

Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 382525 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV

Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face

            Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)

            Multiple Injuries: lost 25 teeth (7 remaining), drools a lot CHA -1

            Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)                         

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 558060 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 314754 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T9) 189706 xp +5% <280001> CRT 1d20/II

             Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)

            Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp (-5’ mve)

            Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 199399 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Sloth the Bopper (L8) 207373 xp +10% <390000> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)

            Missing ten teeth

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 113928 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 123997 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 130057 xp +10% <200000> CRT 1d10/III

Missing three teeth

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 86194 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Felix Ignatius Hemlock the once skeletal Sleuth (I7) 47017 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 99327 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 87256 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swashbuckler (D6) 36770 <70000> +5% CRT 1d12/III

Wendul the Magician (W6) 58518 <80000> 5% CRT 1d8/I

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 72515 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Camillus the Myrmidon (F6)  61699 <64001> +5% CRT 1d20/IV

Willy the Reformed Burglar (T6)  36906 <40000>10% CRT 1d14/II

            Agolloch the Eye of Purity (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F6) 37745 <64000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  49775 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Katre Elf-Girl and Swordsman Conjuror (E4) 16959 xp <32000> +0% CRT 1d8/II

Lady Versamage Knight Errant (K6) 66802 xp <85000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Herbert the Master Gnome Trickster (G4) 17095 xp <30000> +5% CRT 1d8/III 

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 137189 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

Skull-Crusher the Hellebardier of Crom (A4) 10069 xp <12000> +5% CRT 1d8/III

Brett & Jermaine Kobold Cooks & Eavesdroppers Extraordinaire

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

722d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Seventeen when we ask the questions:

Can we go back to base now?

Where on the surface are we actually?

Is the key a red herring or did we miss something?

Tale of the Tape

Nothin’ but dead beastmen

KILLS

Bugbears (16) 1600

Osh-Kosh-Buggosh Chieften of the bubears 800

Gnosh-mosh-Pidosh Shaman of the bugbears 400

LOOT

320 gp

Emerald 180 gp

Mace +1

Ring of Protection +1

Bracers of Platemail (AC 2)

Potion of X-Healing

Key? 

Death Comes on Many Legs (Session 315)

SESSION 315: The Lost Crypt pt. IX – A Lair within a Lair?! 

Up brought them deeper into the bugbear lair but first a charged surprise.

 

Day 282 Continued II (Dungeon): Up the iron rungs they climbed one by one awaiting a falling stone that never happened – grrr. They popped up in a square chamber with two exiting corridors. This way or that way? For mapping purposes let us call it South. The corridor went for 50’ before presenting another choice. The passage turned to the east but there was also a door. Door it was. 

Beyond was a natural cavern of some expanse. The air was dry and stale perhaps even the subtle scent of ozone. Cautiously moving deeper the cavern continued to expand into a cathedral like chamber littered with large rock formations. A slithering sound was heard from behind a formation and then the crackle of electricity. A lightning bolt went through Chung-Li and Mason. Steve and Rhags ran at the source. Wrapped around a formation was a twelve-legged reptilian creature perhaps thirty feet in length. 

   

 

“Whoa…That’s big”

“That’s what she said”

Steve didn’t really catch the dwarfs funny but it did stir a thought. 

He reached into a pouch for a vial. Drinking back the potion the Lord of Gormandia grew into the Giant of Gormandia, “Steve is big!”. “Don’t step on me ya mook!”. 

Enlarged Steve moved into melee with the body as Rhags fended off the creatures snapping jaws. 

The serpentine (hmm.. perhaps 'centipedian' is more apt) beast attempted to wrap around gigantic Steve but just could not put the crush on him. Rhags relentlessly slashed away at the huge crocodilian head to prevent being gobbled up like a bearded gobstopper. The rest of the gang attacked from range, those that could. Until. “Ouch” BoB plunked Rhags with an arrow. She said nothing but held her next shot. As the fight continued Ding-We considered a heavy duty response, the beast could not be held back much longer. Rhags got a might blow into the creature’s snout. This caused it to rear back opening its belly to king-sized Steve. The mighty lord did not waste the opportunity. Steve split open the things belly from sternum to way past its stomach. A gash a good eight feet long opened and then spilled a whole bunch of vital internal components and fluids all over the two warriors. 

Sploosh.

“Ow!”, something hard and shiny bounced off of Rhagnar’s empty eye socket.

“That felt like pay! Stevie make sure you empty that thing”

Lord Steve, (temporary) giant and butcher was our fighting man. He dug into the steaming viscera of the reptilian horror. 

When he arose from the mess a  payday was confirmed for our weary band.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 374812 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 276035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                       

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 558060 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 123997 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 86194 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 99327 <100001> CRT 1d10/III 

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 137189 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

722d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Sixteen when we ask the questions:

Are we climbing out or deeper into this deathtrap dungeon as fatigue sets in?

Tale of the Tape

Players – 4, DM – 0 

KILLS

Behir 

LOOT

Jewelry (3):1400,1400,1400 = 4200 gp

Gems (40): 4400 gp total

Like Cows to the Slaughter (Session 314)

SESSION 314: The Lost Crypt pt. VIII – You got bug on my bear. Well you got bear on my bug. 

Slogging from room-to-room it was a bugbear massacre.

 

Day 282 Continued (Dungeon): Down another passage they went. Once more the sound beastmen doing something in the distance. They moved quickly under a shroud of silence. The gang would have gotten the jump this time if a clanging hadn’t of commenced from behind. Sounded distinctly like beings hammering on that sealed iron door to the hobos. 

To the bugbears it sounded distinctly like an alarm. 

Another ambush foiled! 

The hobos pushed towards the mouth of the chamber. Inside was a common room. Evidenced by a stream of non-combatants beaten foot out the back leaving their grub and stuff laying about. Once more tables were flipped as buggy’s took defensive positions. This time there was more than just bugbears. There were minotaurs, that charged from the darkness at just the right time. Wham! Giving his head a shake after taking a bull-man full-on Rhags was reinvigorated to see that their hooved opponents were well adorned in jewelry. Sure these were the trophies of many the eaten humanoid but now they would become hobos pay – Hot damn! 

The bugbears tried fruitlessly to disable the spell casters with missile attacks. This allowed the two magicians to drop some heavy tenderizing down on the beastman horde. BoB loosed arrows a necessary from her preferred vantage on the ceiling while Biff and Mason pulled double duty watching the teams six and covering the wimp and the gimp (Biff’s words not mine). It took a little work but as the story goes… don’t place yourself in-between a murderking and their weapon. Once the final slab of beef hit the floor the bugbears had already began to cool. They quickly grabbed their loot, a princely sum in jewelry and a few other things.

Nothing like a good payout to put the spring was back in your boots. Out the back of the chamber they went a short passage winding and quickly warming brought them to the armory. Weapon racks hung on the walls, and a small forge glowed in the back of the chamber. The weapons were crude iron and low steel but still had a mean look to them. Beside the furnace stood a beast of a bugbear grinning. The clan smithy had been waiting and fixing for this fight. All he needed was that brief moment of distraction. 

    --Wham-O!

Steve and Rhags were once more hammered by Minotaurs. This time just a pair. The smith hurled a pair of spears and then charged into the fray with a massive glowing hammer. The tanks engaged the mad moos and Chung-Li had the time to discharge a fireball at the lumbering bugbear. Ouch that hurt. Steve dropped his opponent quick enough to cause the smith to turn and run for the previously unseen iron rung ladder at the other side of the chamber. He got halfway up before Ding-We blew him up real good. Steve, Biff, and Rhags then skewered the final minotaur. 

As ash and soot rained down, the only remnants of the smithy, the gang was once more reminded that blowing shit up is fun but often also nukes your pay. They weren’t supper bothered as these minos also were adorned in trophies. We will never know what was up with the glowing hammer. 

After grabbing their loot and a snack all attention turned to the iron rung ladder.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 374812 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 276035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth               

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 558060 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 123997 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 86194 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 99327 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 137189 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

722d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Fifteen when we ask the questions:

I wonder where the iron rung ladder leads to?

I wonder what was banging on the wizard locked door?

Do bugbears normally hobnob with minotaurs?

Speaking of Hob(k)nobs why are these dorks so challenging for our mighty hobos?

Tale of the Tape

Players – 3, DM – 0 

KILLS

Bugbears (27) 

Bugbear Bigboy Blacksmith 

Minotaurs (6) 

LOOT

Potion of levitation

Cloak of Flight

58 gp

10 pp

Jeweled armband 60 gp

5000 sp

5000 ep

Gems (2): 100gp opal, 50 gp hematite = 150 gp

Assorted Jewelry (10): 1600,800,500,1000,1100,1300,1100,1600,900,900= 11,200 gp

A Dead End One Way Passage (Session 313)

SESSION 313: The Lost Crypt pt. VII – The Place at the End of the Passage 

A long walk down a natural passage leads to the lair complex of the bugbears.

 

Day 279 (Base CampàLiwil): Yup. Something is wrong with Steve. His tick hole was festering something nasty. Mason, finally, took a serious look at him. Gave the wound a touch and was gifted a vile vomiting of disease from the black and seeping chest pit. The clerics omnipresent helm saved him from eating the vile abscess contents. He did need to clean his eyes of the gross gunk before calling down powerful restorative magicks - by the grace of Yrrg! Steve immediately began to improve but he still would not be delving today. Rather than waste the day Ding-We declared they would return to Liwil for the day to resupply and such. One night of sleep out of the snow and cold was short but well received.

 

Day 280 (Liwil): Just buggering about town.

 

Day 281 (LiwilàDungeon Camp): Cloudy and cold. Simple day of traveling back to the stone garden and setting up a new base camp outside the dungeon.

 

Day 282 (Dungeon CampàDungeon): Unusually warm. Back into the dungeon complex went our hobos as their garrison set up lawn chairs and sun reflectors to suck up the rays – “Later dudes!”. The vast complex did not rally any defense as the Hobos made their way back to the unexplored stairwell in the lost crypt. Ding-We mused if they had beaten the underworld. Rhags told him not to get his hopes up, “Probably biding its time”. Everyone tried to peer a little deeper into the inky abyss beyond their light. 

How did we get here?

The stairwell led to a natural subterranean passage that ended up going for a couple of miles. Nary a side passage but they did find recent sign of other passerby’s. A few bones chewed along with some other detritus and what appeared to be large hooved prints. Without a real tracker present they did not glean too much other than it looked like the entities were also going down the tunnel. An hour or so later things were discovered.

An iron door and beyond the sound of gruff voices. They could not distinguish the words but Chung-Li was fairly confident of a goblinoid origin. Beastmen are afoot. It was decided that the noise would be addressed rather than the metal door. Before they crept passed Ding-We put a wizard lock on the door, “Good luck trying to bite us on the ass. Whatever is beyond”. Down the passageway they slunk. Twenty or so minutes later, and under the cover of silence, they approached a dimly lit chamber (I will mercifully skip over the long and tedious course of action deliberation phase once more). Bugbears were the occupants. It looked like barracks then it quickly turned to barricades as bugbears are notoriously sly and astute buggers. A munber of tables were flipped in the centre of the chamber for a host to huck spears from behind as two formations rushed along the rails to pull off the pincher. Your average ordinary hobos would have been pierced, slashed and punctured at this point. However, with the likes of Steve and Rhags holding the line as Ding-We and the mooks comfortably threw counter strikes from behind the beastmen were quickly laid to permanent rest. 

The pay stunk, and so they pushed on deeper into the complex.

 

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 374812 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 276035 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                      

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 558060 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 123997 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 86194 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 99327 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 137189 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

719d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Fourteen when we ask the questions:

How big is this lair?

Will we have to fight room-to-room?

Was anything beyond that metal door?

 

Tale of the Tape

Players – 1, DM – 0 

KILLS

Bugbears (12) 

LOOT

36 gp

I Gots Ants in My Pants (Session 312)

SESSION 312: The Lost Crypt pt. VI – I Swear this Dungeon Wants to Kill You. 

Resolving encumbrance and the ant nest was a protracted affair. 

 

Day 278 Continued (The Crypt): It was time to pack to loot. Well after another inordinate amount of time the loot was actually packed back into the alcove and warded with a magic alarm mouth. Then it was time to get back to the ant lair. More time was gobbled up trying to find the perfect action. Steve rooted through the mould chamber to determine if there was any treasure that would be destroyed if a fireball was used to nuke the deadly yellow mold. Seemed all to be junk underneath the saffron carpet in this oddly cool cavern. Ding-We launched a fireball. The flames consumed the yellow mould but super charged the also present small patch of brown mould. Ding-We immediately felt his bodily warmth being drained from him. He made a quick exit and reviewed his Who's Who log book, “Ugh brown mould makes cold and loves fire but hates cold”. Back in he went to discharge two cones of cold into the chamber (one was not enough). 

Now the chamber was mould free. 

The rest of the gang rolled in and once assembling into marching order they progressed to the next chamber. 

Pushing their way through giant ant carcass laden passage Steve and Rhags came towards the next chamber opening. Rhags tossed his light stone into the sandy floored cavern, “Oh look giant ants that are not happy to see us. 

We found the nest!”. 

Warrior ants closed in on warrior hobos. They packed a nasty poisonous bite but they only got one chance with the Murder-tanks holding the line. 

Chop. Chop.

Now the drones closed in, lots and lots of drones. “More than I can count”, hollered Steve. Chung-Li figured this was a good time for decisive action, “Step out I’m going to launch a fire ball”. “What of our treasure? We cannot go around slagging all our sweet sweet lucre!”, lamented the one-legged wizard. His pleading fell on deaf ears. Everyone else wanted to get things done they had barely survived the last couple of days and felt that much of it was from dithering. The elf pointed his wand into the chamber and things got hot. Too hot for the drones, they were all incinerated. 

They rolled into the sandy chamber. It was felt that there was a queen and she would be somewhere most likely under the sand. That was true. She was an enormous thing and when the queen exploded from the ground her bulk created a cavity so large that it created a sinkhole like effect within melee distance. This caused a number of headaches. She also had a paralytic bite that incapacitated Biff. Someone noticed that Biff looked a little off, his defense seemed slow. The fight was dragging on until Ding-We was able to polymorph the giant ant into his preferred giant lagomorph, “Its hopping away get it!”. It was much easier to slaughter a largely defenceless rabbit. 

Poor rabbit. 

They were afforded no time to even clean their blades the ruckus had attracted four burrowing behemoths. 

“Umber hulks. Don’t look at their eyes!” yelled Ding-We. They were surrounded. Biff was still paralyzed and BoB, Mason and Chung-Li were clearly imperilled. BoB was able to make an escape after getting clawed, open combat is a death sentence for our ninja-girl. Mason and Chung-Li clearly could not stand long against these beasts either. It did not help that everyone were fighting with averted gaze, making themselves easier targets and hitting the hulks notably more difficult. Ding-We decided to try to play the hulks own game. The tables needed to turn quick to avoid disaster. He cast confusion and it worked, buggering up three of them. Chung-Li at the same time webbed one then to slow it down for a few rounds. The tables had been turned. Mason and Chung-Li were able to fall back. This allowed Mason to remove Biff’s paralysis before he was murdered. Chung-Li brought out his bow and loosed two very lucky shots blinding a pair of the hulks, thus countering their confusing gaze. In its fury one of the beasts killed a pal leaving it open to be chopped down by Rhags and Steve. With one still webbed and the remaining blinded it was not long before Steve was rooting through their guts for loot. Those giant belly’s sure could hold a lot of stuff. A mountain of coin, a potion and a bunch of scrolls somehow preserved in digestive resistant tubes. They were not that great. One was cursed (burning another ward charge), another had lame divine spells and the other two were for protecting against lycanthropes (already had a stockpile of those). 

 

Once more flush with more loot than they could carry, the gang deliberated on their next action for the umpteenth time today. Egress would be the course of action. The magic mule was summoned once more and buried in sacks of loot. A hobo probably would have received a bite for this but they were also underneath sack load. Back to base camp they slowly plodded. 

 

It was not until they reached the hydra lair did the hobos have an encounter. A pair of cave bears were deeply involved in the hydra carcass, nice and stinky rotten. They let out some territorial growls and the larger of the two stood up showing its massive size. The mob gave as wide a berth as possible making their way back to the stairs. This satisfied the animals. 

 

Not much further now. Through the medusa/ gargoyle lair they found themselves stepping once more into the wintery outdoors. The base camp seemed unmolested and guards quickly approached to help with the loot. 

Steve had not said anything on the long walk but he was feeling not so good and needed a rest, he did look a little pale.

The night passed uneventfully.

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL 

Hobo Steve the Lord (F10) 369987 xp +5% <480,001> CRT 1d30/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 270910 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                      

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 552935 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO8) 121434 <MAX> +5% CRT 1d14/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 83631 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 96764 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E7) 134626 xp <250000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

718d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Thirteen when we ask the questions:

What will they find down the passage?

What’s wrong with Steve and Biff?

What about that stone box with no hinges nor seams?

Tale of the Tape

Is something building to something?

KILLS

Yellow moulds (many) 

Mega-Brown-mould 

Giant Warrior Ants (3) 

Giant Drone Ants (40) 

Giant Ant Queen 

Umber Hulks (4) 

LOOT

500 pp

20000 gp

Gems (4): 10, 1000, 10, 100 = 1120 gp

Potion of Cloud giant control

Scrolls (2) Pro from Lycanhropes

Divine Scroll: Cure Light, Snake Charm

Big Balls (Session 311)

SESSION 311: The Lost Crypt pt. V – Big Balls 

In a bid to clean things up before descending further they face further complications from spinning the random encounter wheel numerous times.

 

Day 277 Continued (The Crypt): After more flip flopping in decision making they decided to web themselves into the alchemical laboratory. This was of course only after checking another chamber. It was a trash room. Steve and Rhagnar stirred up a bunch of giant ticks. One of which ended up burying its proboscis into Steve’s chest and gave him a good draining. He was notably pale and somewhat green around the gills afterwards. Now they really gave up on the day and staggered across the corridor the laboratory.

The rest cycle passed mostly unperturbed. Some very subtle odd noises were heard but not identified until morning.

 

Day 278 (The Crypt): When the web dissolved there was no longer a day. Only the upper hinges remained. The hinges were well corroded. Beyond, the two adjacent doors were also gone. What the heckle? They returned to the vaulted chamber to investigate the southern door. It was also gone. Chung-Li’s elf sense went off as they traversed the space between the now open portals. “We are not alone!”. They were not. Rumbling their way was a trio of armadillo like insectoid-ish creatures with antennae and weird prehensile tails. “Rust monsters!”, yelled someone other than BoB. “Quick get out the junk weapons”, Steve directed like a lord. Backups were pulled out and then corroded into dust. Luckily the mages struck hard preventing any serious losses. 

Beyond the now absent southern door was a corridor that carried a rotting meat sorta stink to it. They were returning to the zombie tsunami chamber. “Might as well take care of the ants then”, directed Ding-We. Ants seemed much preferred over the abominations and undead of late, even Biff was game. 

Returning to the ant hole they stopped and entered into planning mode. Ding-We felt that cloud kill would do the job. This would prove somewhat accurate. Steve escorted the wizard down the tunnel to the first chamber, the mold farm. There were fifteen or so ants present working away tending to the yellow mold darting in and out of the chamber to another adjacent chamber or tunnel. The wizard commenced the incantation. A noxious green smog began to flow from his fingers flowing into the chamber. Ants began dropping dead. Oh oh. Farming was one thing but when giant ants started going into paroxysms before succumbing to the gas caused the yellow mold to activate. The chamber now also filled with mold spores. Ding-We had to run. Steve followed behind not all that concerned due to his environmental barrier system. Back in the dungeon proper the wizard told everyone to settle in, they would have to wait for the ant chamber to be safe to respirate in. 

 

During this time Chung-Li and Biff were on guard at the opposite corridor from whence they came. Their positioning did not provide great vantage but excellent cover. As such it was not until what appeared to be a trio of lanterns were rather close did the watch notice. “Incoming! I see lanterns three of them”, shouted back pointy ears. The mob disengaged from ant-murder-plotting. 

They all peered round the corner. Completely blackness. Chung-Li asserted his observation and then three glowing balls were zinging through their midst. “Thems no lanterns they is sumptin else”, ruminated our Lord of Gormandia. “It’s like a disco in here now, gonna attract even more trouble”, complained our union being Biff as he pulled out his troll head of holding. “Gotta catch’em all”, he chuckled.  Ding-We knew this, and that, to probably be true “Knock those things down”, he hissed. Thus kicked off the electrical fun ride. 

Mason called to Yrrg for a protective shell from evil but the globes were already within the perimeter. The wizards began hurling magic missiles with abandon.

The orbs seemed to suck up the damage.

The balls moved at preposterous speeds through the group while giving out free potent electrical blasts. They were damn near impossible to hit. 

We had the odds but really only Steve and Rhags had any reasonable chance of a swat. Just when things once more looked like a disaster was mounting Steve was able to pop the first orb. “I can’t hold them …Ahhhhhh” 

“Stay on target”, buzzed one of the other two. 

“I’m in range. Target’s coming up!” 

“Just hold them off for a few seconds” 

Rhagnar leapt to where he thought one of the disco balls would be and just swung.

“I’m hit…skzzzz..”, the second was downed.

“Bzzzz. Alright I surrender. I’m done you have killed my brother Darrel and my other brother Darrel. Spare me and our stash is yours. No funny business”.

“Where is it talking from?” 

The hobos agreed to terms. The ball of light lead the gang back down the corridor just past the zombie chamber and began bopping by a spot in the western wall. “Remove the grey stone at the bottom and then pull”. A super-secret alcove 2’x2’x4’ packed full of coin, gems and items including a potion, a long sword and a shield (a face with its tongue stuck out). 

“How did they get this stuff in here?”

The will-o’-the-wisp blinked out of sight not to be seen again.

“How do we get it all out? We is already hella heavy”, Biff grumbled.

This was indeed a predicament. There was hundreds of pounds of loot.

 

 

The D-Team: Ding-We, Rhagnar, Steve, Chung-Li, Mason, Biff & BoB

 

ROLECALL  (xp update next recap)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 350909 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 258132 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                 

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Wizard (W10) 540157 xp +10% <620001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

 

            The Henchmen

Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 115045 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II

‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 77242 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 90375 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Chung-Li the Myrmidon Warlock (E6) 109721 xp <120000> +10% CRT 1d8/II

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

689a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

717d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twelve when we ask the questions:

How do we get all this loot out?

What is in the next level down?

Have we killed all the ants?

Did the cloud kill affect the yellow mold?

Tale of the Tape

Luck be a lady tonight.

KILLS

Giant ticks (9) 

Rust monsters (3) 

Giant ants workers (20) 

Giant ant warriors (2) 

Will-o-the-wisps (3: 2 defeated 1 surrendered) 

LOOT

1000 pp

40,000 gp

Gems (15) = 3,550 gp

Potion of heroism

Sword Long +1/ +3 vs undead

Shield ‘Tongue out’ 

Scroll: Cure light & Dispel Evil