Saturday, 27 April 2024

We Will Eat You (Session 248)

SESSION 248: Cannibal Holocaust

Loot, Run, Murder and avoid being eaten..

 

Day 174 Continued(12.20/0605 Volcano): Into the roc nest and turn it upside down for the filthy filthy lucre. It was there. Along with three very large eggs that Carla was very interested in, much to Steve’s culinary dismay. Ding-We came up with a methodology to maintain the viability of the content of the three eggs. Afterwards they back tracked to the initial chamber of the savages where they looted the priestess before giving her the boot into the volcano. Athak happily accepted the sacrifice. They made their way back down to the forest and were able to make it back to the ship without incident. Even though they were beaten and well tired it was agreed that some distance from this island would be advantageous. The winds were good and they covered a lot of water in the four hours before settling down for a rest cycle.

 

Day 175 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): With an uneventful night general business started early this day. The Captain pulled put out the maps and charted the least likely path, avoiding possible entanglements, to the Lone Palm Atoll in search of the second skull gem. But first, they would find a local island to repair the ship. Alamend pointed out a chain of small islands that suggested shallow waters that could facilitate a controlled beaching of their vessel. The course was agreed upon and the sailed on. 


Everything was pretty cool until an island sized chain laden rock crossed their path. “You have got to be shitting me.. yarg”, was all the Captain could offer before regaining his composure. “You all better get eyes on this. There be a humongous floating piece of pumice with broken thick chains/links the size of a house, on six sides of the ‘island’ attempting to cross in from of us”. Bunny and Saff turned their heads the other way “Nope. Nope. Nope. Way too weird in the already weird world”, chittered the two before going back to whatever recreational activities they conducted in the crow's nest. 

Ding-We was intrigued. 

Carla was not and threatened to stir up Bimbles if the wizard had any funny ideas about doing things. 


They sailed on. For now...

 

 Day 176 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): Today they came to the small forested island within a shallow water isle chain. The Captain had an idea to partially beach the ship by bringing it as near shore as possible during high tide by way of channel (manually dug, of course). The channel along with some bracing would prevent the vessel from capsizing when the tide went out and would allow further repairs to be conducted. It worked and repairs were commenced midday. 


Ding-We became bored sitting around the ship and not helping out. Let’s explore! The wizard put together a small team (Saff, Bunny, Mason, Rhags) and they went into the jungle. Not as hot, sticky and choked with vegetation as the Cauldron was but still warm and thick. The scenery did a good job of hiding a horde of cannibal sub-humans looking for lunch. 


The misshapen deviants rushed the group bringing Mason and Rhags to the ground while sticking Bunny, Saff and Ding-We with obsidian tipped spears, the hygienics of such might be a conversation for another day. The cannibals gained a very quick advantage and it looked like time in the dinner pot was near certain for our explorers. Ding-We was once again disrupted during incantation and then taken to the ground. However, Saff was able to get a cloud of fairy dust into the air sending just enough of the mutated freaks into a magical slumber to enable a counterstrike. Mason got to his feet and begin smashing deformed skulls with his mace. Bunny, much to her dissatisfaction, was forced into melee. She was however doing a decent job of it. Rhags was still pinned and being gleefully poked by the savages. Saff was able to get above her assailants and produce another round of torpor inducing dust. This turned things around. Mason had no issue with executing the sleeping cannibals, “Irredeemable”. “Them or the wizard?”, was Bunny’s query that earned a chuckle from the bloodied Dwarf. It was agreed that where there is a cannibal raiding party there may be more not far away. They quickly made their way back to the ship.


The rest of the day was largely uneventful beyond repairs and the sighting of a rather large sea snake (natural) coming up for air near the ship when the tide returned. Ding-We used this time to hatch a new plan.

 

Day 177 (12.20/0605 Underground Sea): The first half of the day was consumed by final repairs on the ship. They could only get so much done between not really being dry docked and the limited actual shipwright skills. This was when Ding-We hatched his most recent plan, “Let us explore the island again but with MOAR hobos!”. And so they disembarked and started marching down the beach. About 30 minutes later they came upon a host of dugout outrigger- canoes pulled up to the edge of the jungle. Just beyond there was a well-trodden path and the slight smell of smoke was noticed. Bunny and Saff got invisible before leading the slink into the jungle. A few hundred feet in was a sizeable clearing that housed a large palisade that contained the cannibal multitude. The path lead to the front gate that had a platform from which guards mostly watched the jungle (also on the other corners of the wall) but somewhat luckily they were partially distracted by some who-ha going down within. Probably something to do with the drums that could be heard. 


So they came up with a sneaky plan to infiltrate the cannibal camp it worked and they found themselves creeping towards a stockade with more distracted guards. They wacked these guys and dragged the bodies from sight and opened up the stockade. Inside was a gross of lizard-men and a dead merman with more than a few bites missing. “Hez deadz befores wez bitesss”. Carla translated and then Bimbles responded, “Fish outta water don’t last long. You greenies want out?”. “Yezzzz. We helps. Killz gross men”. “Ok. You help. We free you. Now listen up here is the plan” “Dealz”. The plan was simple just like our hobos. The village consisted of two rows of large tent like structures with a large communal area and what was likely the chief’s pagoda in between. The communal area was full of nasty sub-humans ramping up a big celebration. They believe lizard-man tastes just like humans so party on. Bimbles lead the greenies around the side while the rest of the gang went full frontal. Fireballs! Die despicable man-eating-sub-humans! The village hub was consumed in a conflagration. That stopped the party. Warriors burst out of the tents. Then the javelins began to rain down. Maybe this was not a great plan. What to do? More Fireballs! More burning sub-humans but the smell of cooking flesh seemed to send the locals into a frenzy. More javelins. We had the guns but they had the numbers but also marginal eyesight that just wasn’t drawing enough hobo blood. Bimbles and the lizards began closing in from behind as the hobo tanks waded in leaving a swath of dead around them. The cannibals were getting obliterated. Might as well have been jumping right on Steve’s sword. 


The battle ended while the village burned. The lizard-men grabbed some under cooked cannibal corpses, “Forz the trip home”. They gave our gang their thanks and offered one of their woman-folk to Bimbles. She had a nice rack, underneath the scales, but she really had the face of a crocodile. He for once graciously refused and simply asked to part in friendship. They agreed and dragged away their travel rations. 


Most of the village was wrecked and most of the population consumed by flame so the hope of pay was low. They decided to go rooting through the remnants of the chief cannibalistic sub-human’s pavilion. Not much survived beyond the thick posts of the cannibal bed. 

“Rats Peg-Leg wrecked it all, how am I to feed my seventy illegitimate children now?!”, was Rhags disgruntled outburst. 

Perhaps, after some nudging.. they decided to dig under the remains of the bed. A foot below the surface was a simpletons chest from wood work class. Inside were a bunch of gems and gold items– paydirt! A few high-fives and then they went to search some of the non-incinerated corpses on their way out. The boss’s body was found still clutching his very nice orichalcum spear and wearing two interesting items. The first was a rather ornate necklace and a red-plumed golden crown, it should not have survived the inferno. Ding-We was intrigued by the later and yoinked it while Steve stowed away the rest.


Marching victoriously back to the ship after the cannibal holocaust Bunny caught ear of something coming out of the jungle towards them. They readied for pre-emptive murder. It was not required. A battered and mostly dead man fell before their feet. He locked his gaze with Carla, “saved…” and then passed out. The clerics checked him out and provided spiritual healing. 

When he came round a story was told. 

 

“I am Lester the Warder (Paladin) of the goddess Oceana*. My retinue and I were spreading the good word of the bounty of the sea. We stopped to resupply on an island. Not this one but another, perhaps in the region. I cannot say. We went ashore and were ambushed. Vile sub-human cannibals twisted by their black practices and worship of demonic forces. They paralyzed most of my retinue with their darts and then overran the rest of us. We were beaten and bound. Then placed into canoes and for sometime they paddled. I was in and out of consciousness so I do not know duration or direction. We were brought to their camp and placed in the stockade. One by one and day by day my friends and allies were removed and then consumed by the bastards. Until we were two. Myself and Jorval my half-elven navigator. We were left alone for three days it appeared that the twisted clan had gone on another raid. We knew that the next time the stockade opened we had to act. The following evening we heard a commotion. The raiding party returned and they were successful. We steeled ourselves and flanked the gate. It opened and beyond was a host of lizard-men with the hands bound to poles. They intuitively began to fight as they knew that the stockade was the last stop before the pot. We used this chance and rushed out creating even more chaos that provoked the lizard-men to resist with more ferocity. The gate was open and we ran towards the jungle. Jorval was just one step behind me as I entered the bush. I looked back just as the foliage swallowed me. A spear protruded from poor Jorval’s throat. He was one step away. At least he wouldn’t suffer the horrors of being butchered alive. I ran. It was all I could do and all I have done for days trying to elude recapture. I now offer you, all of you, my services in the name of Oceana for a term not less than one year”. 

 

Lester took a knee, “My lords and ladies, I am at your service”. Carla and Ding-We shared a knowing glance, hoping this paladin plays out better than the last one. “Welcome aboard fish-sticks!”, exclaimed Steve as he proffered his hand “We are getting out of here and we need you on your feet. There could be more of those mutants creeping around”. Lester thought Steve was wise, we know he is not but whatevs. They returned to the ship and were greeted by the rising tide. The Captain felt that they were close enough to begin getting the ship out of its' parking spot. Through the combination of pulling with the folding ship (rowers) and Bimbles putting the jug on full blast to create some push they were quickly free once more. 

 

“You know.. its not every day you see a floating rock with massive chains affixed to it. Maybe we should not have let it pass us by. Captain turn this boat around we have a rock to find!”, Ding-We earned a mixed response from this and that was good enough for him.

 

 

*Oceana, Goddess of the Tides, Currents and the Bounty of the Sea: Most island and coastal dwellers openly worship Oceana. She is the benign and abundant nature of the seas and traders and fisherman often call upon her for favorable conditions and abundant catches. She is the wife of Ushoon and it is believed it’s their conflicts that cause the storms and their loving nature that brings in the food-rich tides (Zotani Sea: Malrex, Jonbar, Grutzi) . 

 

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 313941 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C9) 276643 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Hobo Steve the Lord (F9) 289416 xp +5% <360,001> CRT 1d24/V

            Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)

Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 210405 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV

            Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)

            Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)

            Missing thirteen teeth                    

Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 463664 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I

            Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)

Bunny the Thief! (T9) 257448 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand


 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY7) 176755 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Mason the Lama of Yrrrg. (C7) 60920 <100001> CRT 1d10/III

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 59051 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 43871 xp +10% <64000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Captain Alamend Strender the Swashbuckler (F5) 25020 <32000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Lester the Warder of Oceana (P5)  

 

RESERVES

BoB is the lone lawn ornament for the Basilisk Knights.

Chung Li needs 12 weeks (74 days) and a stack of coin to rewrite his lost spell book.  

            Elapsed: 33 days (from A-Team calendar)

Elapsed Campaign Time

615 (630) days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation) 

Join us for session Two-Hundred-and-Forty-Nine when we ask the questions:

When did rocks start to float?

How could a rock float?

What glorious loot did we leave behind?

Will this paladin survive his year of service?

With the ship mostly patched up how hard will it be to find a floating rock?

Tale of the Tape

Welcome aboard Lester the Warder of Oceana hope you survive the experience.

Exploration Below the Blighted Sub-Hex

Location hex: 12.20

 

KILLS

Sub-Human Cannibals (153) 

LOOT

Necklace of Adaption

Ornate electrum lined mirror 265 gp

Ruby amulet 1300 gp

Gold Serpentine Arm Band 900 gp

11066 gp

30 pp

345 sp

Gold Arm Band 100 gp

Gold Head Band 400 gp

Gold with Pearls bracelet 300 gp

Brass Knuckles 15 gp

Orichalcum Spear +3

Red Plumed Crown of Alignment Change - Ding-We figured this out all on his own.

Gold necklace w/ Hematite 1700 gp

 Gold Goblets (3) 700 gp each

Gold decanter 800 gp

Gold Bowl 500 gp

Bloodstones (7) 50 gp each

Amethysts (5) 100 gp each

Amber (6) 100 gp each

Topaz (3) 500 gp each

Sapphire 1000 gp       Gem total = 3950 gp

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