SESSION 161: Escape from the Gem Prison of Zardax
Here we are again, at the start. Ding-We had a bit of a moment. What did it all mean? They had no idea and so they searched the chamber to exhaustion. It provided no answers. Nothing to do other than press on, one more time.
They were greeted by a freezing cold, it was the lair of the ice people – err Elves. That was their truth you know the type that doesn’t have any basis in reality but they will fight you for it. There was some back and forth. Dinger was not happy to be back but Carla felt there was a reason for the return. She ended up being correct but it took us awhile to get there. After dither-fucking for longer than needed they realized/ remembered (with coaching) that they has only exhaustively searched two-thirds of the chamber. Back to the corridor with the bags, which they mostly took this time, a search was actually commenced of the room. There was a latched now more secret door after being painted over when the “new management” had taken over. It was popped open.
A grossly vivid yellow chamber lay beyond. They had seen flashes of it before but could not/ did not enter. This time they did. “Oh hey guys! Welcome to the prison exit. We are the guards. Come on in look around we are a laid back bunch of dudes”. Twenty owl-headed naked human bodies with rapiers casually greeted our gang. There was a large green door with a gem-shaped emblem with a noticeable key-hole at its centre. “Go ahead take a look prisoners, you can look but you cannot touch”, they engaged us in further pleasant chit-chat as the hobo brigade assessed the situation.
This is the exit?
Sure is dudes.
Can we leave?
Nope. That is why we are here. We are the guardians of portal…
Well accidents do happen when we get distracted.
How do you get distracted?
Live feeding.
….?
We could be distracted by a cannibalicous snack, if you know what we mean.
Uhhhhh.
Any of you would do even the little thing they tend to be spicy.
How about just a toe or two?
Nope.
A leg?
Nope. We need a complete live feeding.
There was some thought about offering an ice man-elf but the chamber was likely gone and it was kinda evil. They asked if the bag of baby teeth that had been found in the ice chamber would do. The owls admitted that they are a lovely little treat and would have been a good distraction if they had been thrown down the hall or better yet had been seeded out an open door. The sound of little teeth clattering off a hard surface makes any bird brain momentarily lose it’s mind. Instead the bag containing them was simply dropped at the guardians feet. “Kinda rude dudes, really diminished our interest in a crunchy treat”.
At this point it was realized that the reasonable alternatives to fighting their way out had been expended. Ding-We and Carla came up with a plan. Game on. They all began singing and milling about the green door as Ding-We began an incantation. The Owl-dudes saw this diversion for what it was and leapt to action. They were too slow, an icy barrier sprung up around the hobos providing some much needed time before the guards were able to smash it down. Bunny unlocked the portal and it began to open. The wall only stopped the Owls momentarily. Raul, Saff and Bimbles unleashed magicks that reduced the active force of Owls but they were legion and potent. The fighter types attempted to hold the line as the softer members of the party jumped through the portal. Biff and Dolec took a beating but were able to extract themselves. Rammer had his fill and gulped back a potion of gaseous form and flowed like a fart towards the portal. Steve thought this might be his ‘Last Fight’ and quaffed a potion as well but a more heroic choice than Slinker the Stinker. The clock was ticking and the door began to reform. There was a little bit of space to move and with just enough luck the hobos were able to utilize it allowing the remaining members to make the big escape just before the proverbial noose tightened. “So long and thanks for all the teeth”.
Into a strange psychedelic void followed by a flash.
Thump.
Once more were in the chamber where they happened upon the Gem Prison. They had escaped and now felt like they had not slept in days. The hobos hunkered down before deciding on the next move. They just needed some time to shake off the experience.
ROLECALL
Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 250538 xp +10% <300001> CRT 1d12/III
Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm
Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C8) 214778 xp +5% <300001> CRT 1d12/III
Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm
Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 212423 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V
Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)
Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 177260 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV
Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)
Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)
Raul the Voyager (MD8) 188805 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4,
Removed one of his own nostrils.
Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 404555 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I
Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)
Bunny the Thief! (T9) 184055 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II
Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand
Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 118078 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II
Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)
Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp
Missing eight teeth talks with a lisp
The Henchmen
Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 137081 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III
Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen
Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts
Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)
Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic
Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 72067 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II
Wraith Drained: -1 CON
Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 84562 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II
Lasting injury: Crushed spinal column -6”H, -5’mv, -10% thieving
Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 88462 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III
Dolec Da the Hero (F5) 21490 xp +10% <32000> CRT 1d16/IV
Camillus the Myrmidon (F6) 59015 <65001> +5% CRT 1d16/IV
Greymin the Dwarven Hero (D5) 21691 <35000> +5% CRT 1D14/III
‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II
Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II
Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III
Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II
Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)
Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)
RESERVES
Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV
REMAINING RECUPERATION: 0 DAYS
Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)
Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D
Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV
REMAINING RECUPERATION: 1 DAY
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face
Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm
Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)
Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1
Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT
Elapsed Campaign Time
342 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)
Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Sixty-Two when we ask the questions:
What do we do next?
Run away?
Face the big eye?
Just keep exploring?
Go back to that ruin with the monolith of flesh?
Tale of the Tape
Nein.
KILLS
Nope they ran away from the Guardians of the Gate
LOOT
Children’s teeth (80) dropped and lost
250 gp left behind
Gold rings (6) 125 gp each
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