SESSION 149: Inside the Earth & Beyond to the Black Mountains
Day 7 Continued (13.22:Not of this world) – underground.
The tunnel was a winding and twisting passage through the rock for a couple of miles until it opened into an enormously large cavern. After some tests to confirm it was really big, exploring along a wall was considered the best plan. They walked for an hour, until the light marker they had thrown in from the entrance was just a speck. Nothing was heard and nothing was seen. It was just stone and earth. Our hobos did not like all this nothing and decided enough was enough let us get out of here before things go sideways - "Fuck dis shiiit", drooled one our near toothless dwarves. They cut across the cavern to the illuminated marker and returned to the passageway. Some days even strange dimensions are quiet places.
A short time later they came to a newly revealed crevasse blocking passage. After some rope work the group had moved past and eventually made it back to the portal and jumped through. Another hobo pile as gravity once more shifted 90 degrees. Some discussion followed on how to possibly close the portal which may be the source of all the petrified entities. No consensus was found and so it was decided just to get the hell out of this hole and off the damnable plateau.
Back on the surface Bunny radioed the second team with the horses. Biff and company confirmed they were in position and were just hanging out watching antelope play. The group decided to head another mile across the plateau to drop down very close to the horses. This plan was mostly ok except for the petrified razor grass that made the final mile a little bloody for those not wearing suits of armor. Getting to the edge Bunny setup the rope of climbing and the hobos reunited with the Horse Team and rode on. Good riddance stoopid plateau.
Sasha figured it would only take a couple of hours to get to the Blood River. Getting us there around dusk. It was decided to work the mounts a bit to shorten the ride. The rolling hills became smaller and smaller until transitioning into gently sloping grasslands that lead to the river bank. The Blood River was no small pickle, at some 300’ wide and a notable current. With the sun dipping behind the Dark Wall mountain range camp was set and our brain trust went to solving the river crossing.
Day 8 – Cloudy: The night was uneventful but as camp was being broken Sasha caught sight of our target. The roc was in the air and gave a hint to the whereabouts of its nest. A number of plans were concocted for the crossing but they were all unnecessary as the hobos had forgotten that their folding boat could be much more than a simple canoe. It could be an honest to goodness ship with a cabin and all. It still took a number of crossing due to the horses but things got done at only the cost of the morning. Mounting up Sasha got her bearings and lead us forward. Beyond the Blood River, the rolling hills crest to a range of steep rocky cliffs, formed from a black basalt. Thus the name the Black Wall.
The afternoon was largely quiet beyond Sasha noting things including our target in the air but thankfully not noticing or paying us heed. The ride was slower due to the scrubby nature of the vegetation covering the hills. It was decided to find a tight pair of hills to camp between in hopes of not garnering unwanted attention. Shortly after setting camp, just as we were preparing our giant chicken dinner another group of free-range hobos crested the hill to the immediate west and let forth an acknowledgment.
They were seven, on foot, led by a fiery haired fighting women of great melancholy. One of her wingmen announced themselves as the Claws of the Lioness. Ding-We now felt his own melancholy when he heard such a cool name for an adventuring band. They seemed cautious but not aggressive we could see that they had numerous adventures under their belts and did nothing without measure.
Well, Carla saw this as a good chance to start things out on the wrong foot and immediately began casting a spell (know alignment). This immediately changed the temperature. Rouge Sonita let out a growl and her wingmen went to their pommels. From behind stepped Erik the Cleric, a wizard, an elf and a dwarf. Shit was about to go sideways until Steve waved a big chunk of giant chicken their way and offered to share repast. This did not quite do it but Erik the Cleric’s stern words for Carla and her companions regarding the Fifth Law of Muderhobo – no hobo shall allow another hob to starve while under the stars for tomorrow we shall likely die cold and alone in a forgotten tomb.
Nara recognizing a fixable moment used her piousness and sexy purple legs to mend the situation further. This was enough for their dwarf (remember they are well known to be deviants) Chadnar to step forward with a mighty jug of dwarf juice and declare a hoboing. Rhags was giddy. Steve went back to cooking and the ‘Claws’ joined our camp. The evening was passed cheerily. They told us of their exploits and failure to find a hidden trove of treasure purported somewhere in the area. Ding-We kept trying to break the Second Law of Murderhobo – Find your own damn treasure, secrets are secrets. It didn’t really matter anyways as the Claws were getting low on resources and had enough of these wilds. They were heading back Liwil to recharge and plan their next move. The plateau came up and their opinion was it was something worth avoiding but it was the safest trajectory back to Liwil even though they had encountered a horned prehistoric beast that had impaled their druid "The idiot deserved it for acting like a stupid hippy", growled RS. She only seemed to know how to growl, total badass. The evening passed without encounter, probably because there was now a hobo army camped here. The morning came and our groups broke camp and moved on in opposite directions.
Day 9 – cloudy: After an hour or so we heard what sounded like a person in distress ahead of us, just over the next hill. The scouts moved to the crest to investigate. It was not an injured person but a cave bear that like an irritating parrot could mimic sounds. There were four more waiting just downslope and the lot of them charged. We had been duped by five bears. Sure lucky this occurred out in the wilderlands as we would be the laughing stock if our peers caught wind of this. The bears hit the scouts like a freight train almost tearing Biff in half. Things did not look good and Sasha thought it might be a bad time to bring up the dark shapes circling above watching the whole fiasco. The fight started out messy but the hobos decided to swing back around after Ding-We dropped a fire ball on the bears. Getting done with things there was the obligatory arguing on whether or whether not to spend the rest of the day skinning the bears. After some time and finally actually looking at the carcasses it was realized that we had made a mess of them. Ding-We instead decided to direct Sasha to lead us first to the bear lair before getting back to tracking the roc. Sasha agreed and pointed out that the things currently circling overhead were manticores (she was not certain these were the only things in the air) and would probably happily take the free meal and leave us alone if we moved along. The sooner the better you never know what else lurks in and about these hills.
The trail veered our trajectory to the north and for the second time today another ambush. This time it was by a band of anthropophagi hill giants. These guys were screwed up. Wearing paper-mache masks of serpent demons. They wore hideous sackcloth clothes made from tanned humanoid skins along with the bizarre masks creating a horrific appearance (Courtney Campbell). They shrieked with glee as the back line lobbed boulders into the air and the two wing giants ran in to grab dinner from, once again, our scouts. Rock rained from the sky and the fight was. These guys had no fear and things got complicated as only so many of the hobos could even see them. Biff for the second time today was almost murdered as a boulder landed on his head permanently compressing his spinal column. He collapsed to the ground 6” shorter than moments ago he was. The fight raged on. The hobos took some lumps before laying low these inbred giants. The looting which followed provided some neat stuff. Much like the scarab of death that Rahgnar plucked off one of the humanoid hide suits. The scarab activated and burrowed into Rahgnar’s arm. He acted quickly plunging his own blade into himself nearly took off his arm but he did neutralize the digging death. Once again we cleaned up and went back on the hunt for the degenerate cave bear lair. Sasha was a little shocked that she easily found the bear spore again.
We got to the lair. A stinking hole in the base of the Black Wall. Searching the litter and refuse looked to be a bust but Carla found a leather pouch rock hard with age partially obfuscated by bone and rock. It was packed with platinum pieces from a bygone era. Nice payoff. We ended up being not all that far from our target and arrived at the roc nest early in the afternoon discovering something a little more concerning than just a big bird.
Cutting into the mountain range was a narrow mountain pass, marked by a towering 80’ tall serpent-man statue carved in the adjoining cliff. The statue has been shorn asunder, a deep crack in the stone separating the leg from the rest of the statue. There appears to once have been a matching or similar statue on this side of the pass that had long since crumbled like we had hoped that the empire of the serpent-men had done long ago. The roc nest was conveniently placed high in the cliff face atop of the blasphemous monument. Nara mumbled how evil never really dies it seems.
The roc appeared not to be home. Ding-We thought this made for a good time to take the captain’s seat. He quaffed back a dram of a flying potion. He and Saff arched into the air towards the nest dreams of sugar rubies in his eyes. The nest was not actually empty. Two man-sized hatchlings were present. The animals did not notice the arrival as they were pecking away at something or the other. Ding-We drunk on the dream of riches directed Saff to zap the birds with sleepy arrows. It took a couple of tries and that resulted in some noise but afterwards Ding-We directed Saff to go rooting through the nest for his riches as he watched. Saff did find a red and a blue gem rather quickly. She held the two somewhat underwhelming finds up for Dinger to see just as Momma bird dropped out of the clouds silent as death.
“Look mummy, there's an aeroplane up in the sky” – gribbled Saff. It hit Ding-We hard really fucking hard and just missed connecting with both sets of talons along with a pulverizing blow from the beak. If it had Ding-We would have been torn asunder. As it was he was a dead man if he did not immediately escape. So he turned himself into a fart and left Saff to buzz out on her own. The rest of our hobos could only look up the 150’ in horror and fear that one of them would be next. Now was a good time to retreat. Behind the ancient serpent-man statute, the narrow valley cut into the Dark Wall, would this be our escape or just a jump from the pot to the frier?
Angel of suffering smiles and so does the DM.
ROLECALL
Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C9) 231115 xp +10% <200001> CRT 1d12/III
Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm
Bimbles the Patriarch of GSS (C8) 190355 xp +5% <200001> CRT 1d12/III
Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm
Hobo Steve the Superhero (F8) 187286 xp +5% <240,001> CRT 1d24/V
Brain Damaged: reduced mental capacity (tough night on the town)
Rahgnar the Dwarven Superhero (D8) 152123 xp <280001> CRT 1d20/IV
Serious wound: permanent loss of an eye (-1 to missile fire)
Critical Wound: disembowelled less able to process poison (-1 penalty)
Raul the Voyager (MD8) 169382 xp +10% <240000> CRT 1d12/III
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -4,
Removed one of his own nostrils.
Ding-We the Peg-Legged Sorcerer (W9) 385132 xp +10% <470001> CRT 1d10/I
Critical Wound: Left leg obliterated, runs at ½ rate (peg required)
Bunny the Thief! (T9) 216918 xp <280001> +10% CRT 1d20/II
Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand
Ramrod the Cloned Magsman (T8) 92941 xp +5% <160001> CRT 1d20/II
Serious wound: Bad Back (-1 stone CC)
Scars: Neurological damage to hip, noticeable limp
Missing six teeth talks with a lisp
The Henchmen
Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Mad Ribbits (FY7) 152516 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III
Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen
Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts
Sloth the Bopper (L7) 135460 xp +10% <178800> CRT 1d20/IV or 1d6/G (vs. s, m)
Mental Illness: Mummy-a-phobic
Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (P7) 76552 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d6/I
Wraith Drained: -1 CON
Biff Bartley the Half-Orc Blackguard (HO7) 71997 <120000> +5% CRT 1d12/II
Sasha Plasha the Warden (R7) 76972 xp +10% <100000> CRT 1d10/III
Dolec Da (F3)
Jogar the Nine-Fingered (T4)
‘BOB’ the Deadly Shade (N7) 59275 <90000> +5% CRT 1d16/II
Felix Ignatius Hemlock the previously Skeletal Sleuth (I7) 42208 <80001> +5% CRT 1d16/II
Mason the Canon of Yrrrg. (C6) 40211 <50001> CRT 1d10/III
Yasser Imaphat the Djinn (D4) 30372 <32501> CRT 1d6/II
Gurn Hammerhand the Dwarven Swordsman (D3)
Wendul the Thaumaturgist (W5)
RESERVES
Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 45913 <64000> +10% CRT 1d16/IV
REMAINING RECUPERATION: 8 DAYS
Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON)
Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON) -ADJUSTMENT REQ’D
Boris the Dwarven Lord (D9) 319718 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d20/IV
REMAINING RECUPERATION: 13 DAYS
Serious wound: permanent loss of CHA -3, carved up face
Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed arm
Wound: Bad leg (-5’ MV)
Multiple Injuries: lost 20 teeth, drools a lot CHA -1
Serious Injury: Brain Drain -2 INT
Elapsed Campaign Time
330 days at beginning of session (also applies to recuperation)
Join us for session One-Hundred-and-Forty-Nine when we ask the questions:
Will we return to that hole and its portal to figure or finish things?
Will we ever see the Claws of the Lioness again?
Who teaches bears how to make such twisted noises?
Anthropophagus giants with snake demon masks what madness is this?
What trouble could we get into going into a pass under the baleful eye of a serpent-man statue?
Tale of the Tape
No Neck Biff! Compressed spine -6’ height, -5’ mv, -10% to thieving abilities
KILLS
Degenerate Cave Bears (5)
Hill Giant Anthropophagi’s (7)
LOOT
57 pp
5000 gp
Gems: Red 50 gp, Blue 100 gp
+1 Broadsword
Scarab of Death – destroyed
Sword +1 of Dancing
Scroll: Plane Shift
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