The Master's Bedroom Is Worth Spending A Night In (Session 323)

SESSION 323: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.5: The Master’s Chamber 

Returning to the dungeon the Master is uncovered and a new ally gained before descending deeper.

 

Day 772 (Underworld): After a good night of rest in the badgerfolk village the gang was brought back to the dungeon via the secret tunnel. Before leaving Enoki gave Bunny a steel ball, “If you throw it into the tunnel it will return to the village and we will collect you from the dungeon”. Bunny thought that was nifty. 

Once more the boat was pushed to the side and the gang crawled back into the trash/ storage chamber. Not much had changed accept for the smell. The dead bugbears had begun to fester in the warm volcanic chamber. They collected their push cart and moved along. Back into the feather chamber and then into the previously unexplored chamber at the western extent of the connecting passage. 

The Shrine Dump aka The Master’s Chamber: Rats skittered across a teetering trash pile composed of smashed statuary, rotting tapestries, candles, and religious paraphernalia. A leering stone demon face peeked out from the heap a dead rat was draped across the stone demon face. Lester had just enough time to blurt out, “I say that is my dead rat!” before it rotated its head and spoke. 

“Kkkkccckk...you...defilers. You are different than the ckkkkkk brainwashed rabble of this place. Kkkkkk...I sense that you have been serving me…kkkkkckl…are you here for your reward…?”

Bimbles reflected for a moment remembering the greasy Red Prophet’s prophecy, “No no no, not yet we have destroyed but two pieces. We want the WHOLE reward. We shall return when all four have been bashed to smithereens”. “Kckckckkl..Very well…bring vengeance upon the Chaos god…”, the rat’s head returned to the prone position and spoke no more. 

They left the chamber and returned to the trapezoidal crossroads all was quiet.

There were three options back down the central passage to the stairs down, the door to the acid chamber or the unexplored door to the south east. The door it was. 

A small and damp chamber housing an old water pump and a mossy trough. Clumps of moss and tiny mushrooms grew on the wet floors. Looking at their map Bunny thought the room was a good candidate for closer inspection. She found a forgotten secret revolving door. Beyond was another small room. A makeshift jail cell, lightless and squalid. Shackles chained a lone elf to the ground, pecked and bloodied by an errant chicken. Shovels, rakes and other farm implements were piled against the northern wall and a door was on the western wall presumably leading to the chicken coop.

The elf was Azucar the sole survivor of the elven assault team that had been imprisoned and then forgotten about, left to be slowly tortured by the chicken perhaps. Despite his physical condition his spirit was unbroken, “Pain is temporary. Glory is forever!” he was eager to ally with our hobos to destroy the Eater of Dreams. He offered all a strand of his golden hair, “ Tie this around your wrist it will protect you”. After some aid and equipping they returned to the trapezoidal crossroads. 

“Oi! You lot wahts yous doin ‘ere den?”, a group of four ogres were present. They were obviously looking for people to eat but were showing some caution in the selection process. Dolec told then they were very busy doing something or the other for someone or the other. The ogres were disappointed by this confusing statement,”…Uh. Ok. You keep werkin… We was just checkin”. The gang quickly pushed their cart past and then down the lightless black volcanic glass southern passage to the stairwell down. Lester and Dolec shined their light down into the steamy blackness. Hammering could be heard not too distant. 

Azucar shouted, “No fear!”.

 

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara & Lester

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 363590 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 327825 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 319435 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 201739 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 74855 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  52155 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

Azucar the Elven Myrmidon Warlock (E6)

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

766a (Bunny Group Newville/ Dreaming Caldera) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Four when we ask the questions:

Will we take up the Master’s rewards program for god-bit elimination?

What does the lower level(s) hold?

Tale of the Tape

Nara and Charles continue their stay at the petrification hotel.

KILLS

none

LOOT

zilch

Make Automatons Great Again (Session 322)

SESSION 322: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.4: Building a Better Messiah 

Things continue to be “messy” but our heroes find a reprieve, will it only complicate matters in the end?

 

Day 771 Continued(Underworld): “The dead rat went thadda way ya dumb-dumbs”, Saffron pointed across the chamber to a door on the south wall. There was another door but we were fixated on finding the rat that would lead us to the ‘Master’. Beyond the door was a t-corridor. This way or that way? West was chosen. The rat had gone east but this would not be figured for some time. 

They had made it maybe 20’ and were inspecting an alcove when noise could be heard coming nearer from the eastern extent. Sounded like wooden wheels and scrapping, perhaps along the walls. Bunny went ahead invisibly. An empty push wagon manned by four hobgoblins whom immediately barked out a series of questions at the visible portion of the party, “What are you zombies doing?” “Why aren’t you working harder?” “Who’s your foreman?” Before they could get to their point the hobs felt the end of hobo sword points. The cart was liberated “for official business reasons” and our gang continued to the west.

Going west they came to a portcullis or a passage into a dimly lit chamber. There was a button within a security box very near the barrier but they chose the chamber. They liked the prospects of leading with the cart. 

“SSsss what do we have here? Ohss whats wonderful freshss human werkerzz”, came from a robed, medallion adorned and topped with a huge gold crown lizardman.

There were giggles from his workers that were clearly ghouls, that numbered eight.

The chamber was smoky from an unventilated forge. Bins and worktables lined the walls; a 3’ dripping, rough textured, tooth- shaped thing stood on a pedestal in the center of the room. 

The ghouls appeared to be laboring to build a part of their new god (Reminder: these italicized bits are usually lifted from whatever adventure we is playing i.e. The Dreaming Caldera. Play it. Enjoy it). 

They hammered eggshells into compacted bricks of baked, calcified porcelain. The brick are glued together in a mold to form an enormous tooth. The incisor here was nearing completion. 

 

It quickly became apparent were Gurk was so unctuous, the hobos would provide a wonderful fleshy morale boon for his workers. This was when shit got real. Both parties were in an unacknowledged standoff. Hobos twitched first and the ghouls went feral for flesh. The wagon was not as helpful as hoped, it actually limited movement. The front-line was swarmed and Dolec was held by whatever paralytic pathogen ghouls excrete. The holy rollers decided to simultaneously call down the vanquishing light of their respective gods. It was a light show but no ‘Kablam’. 

Gurk’s large crystal medallion glowed in response and swallowed the holy light. 

The ghouls were ecstatic with flesh lust. 

                                                Flesh Eating Ghouls from Outer Space!

The fairy missed with her shot at the necromancer. Lester worked his way around the cart and into battle. Gurk then cast a web upon Bunny and Lester. It was up to the clerics and Saff to get something done. The ghouls were upon them with claws and festering fangs. With the big fail on the turning the hobos realized they were in serious trouble. Ghouls were tearing off Dolec’s armor to get to his flesh and with two immobilized in the web the number of ghoul attacks per adventurer had gone up. Bunny was able to activate her flame brand and ignite the web. Her and Lester would have to burn to escape the sticky threads. It was time for desperate measures as Dolec’s life hung in the balance. The funny thing is that the bad guys were not really all that formidable the hobos just had to get their hands dirty, so to speak. Carla bashed down the first ghoul as Bimbles freed the now almost dead Dolec from the ghoul paralysis and Saff began tenderizing the necromancer. They got lucky and none succumbed to another wave of ghoul lust. Bunny and Lester were now slightly singed but free. The hobos leaned into the ghouls and the boss-man-lizard.

The tables turned. 

Moments later the battle was over.

Bimbles smote the ‘god-tooth’ with his mace, “Fuck yo’ tooth!” before smashing Gurk’s evil anti-turning medallion. 

Healing magics. Healing magics. Healing magics.

That fight was a train-wreck but Gurk’s huge golden crown would be darn good pay.

 

Taking the northern door they once more found themselves in the pentagonal cross-roads. West was the only untravelled option. They found themselves on the other side of the portcullis. “I guess we should have opened it”, opined Bunny. 

Bimble’s ignored her as he looked into an adjacent chamber. 

Kettles simmered over small, open flames. Bins and worktables line the walls; a large, ghoulish orb of milky putrescent albumen balances on a low table in the center of the room and stinks powerfully of sour and egg. Four harpies were poaching hundreds of egg white. 

It looked like they had found the god-eye workshop. They pushed their cart in and acted dumb. The harpies were rather involved in their holy works so to start they just told the gang to get lost. When they did not comply the stinky bird broads got irritated and began to sing their beguiling song. Hobos closed in and the harpies realized something was up. This fight went much better than the previous and was closed out expediently. Each wore exquisite gold and platinum ankle braclets. The god-eye was popped and they back tracked all the way to the southern door of the chicken chamber. Now proceeding to explore the eastern passage, “I guess my rat actually went this way…” came from Lester. 

Down this passage they ran into, were run into, by a lone female badgerfolk. It took a little negotiation but they made an ally whom knew something about the dungeon. Enoki was nearly dwarf sized but broader and hairier overall with large clawed hands made for burrowing. She was making to escape the dungeon via a secret badgerfolk tunnel and offered respite to the crew. They wholeheartedly accepted. Moving further east and then north Enoki pointed out a stairwell that went deeper into the dungeon but could provide no further detail on it. She then lead then to a trapezoidal crossroad, feathers filth, wagon tracks and three doors. They took the SE door. The northern connected to the acid chamber and Enoki did not know what was behind the NW door. 

The first chamber they came upon had great drifting piles of dirty feathers and nose-tickling dander fill the room to the ceiling. 

They passed through into what appeared to be a trash/ storage chamber. 

A staggering array of disorganized miscellanea and festering garbage. Folded clothing, piles of rotting chicken feet, barrels full of pole-arms, coils of hemp rope, a small sailing ship, a neat stack of human corpses in a puddle of brown fluid. 

Inside were another four hobgoblins exhausted and dirty, dumping crap from another wagon. When their attempt to coerce the gang into labour they quickly found out that the hobos, “Had not heard the music”. They were quickly slaughtered.

Behind the small sailing ship was the Badgerfolk Tunnels. 

Soft and constantly collapsing. Ran for miles all the way down the mountain to the badgerfolk forest. 

Enoki leapt in and called out to the hobos to follow. “Keep up and stay in my wake. We will be home before you know it”. 

It took but a couple of hours as they seemed to have almost been on a slide. 

After introductions they were warmly welcomed into the clan. 

Attended by the healer, well fed and then rested (once more bitterly dreamless). After breakfast Enoki once ore took them to the tunnel. Even up hill the journey only took an additional hour or so. She wished our hobos well and reminded them to put the boat back in its place after they re-entered the dungeon.

 

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara & Lester

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 363590 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 327825 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 319435 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 201739 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 74855 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  52155 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

765a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Three when we ask the questions:

Two god bits down, what next?

How many god bits is there?

With a twelve hour break on the board will the denizens be on alert?

Why haven’t we heard the music?

Tale of the Tape

I don’t know how Dolec is not dead, I must be getting soft.

Nara and Charles continue their voyage down the petrification river.

KILLS

Hobgoblins (8) 

Gurk the Lizardman Necromancer 

Ghouls (8)

Zombies (3) 

Harpies (4)

LOOT

8 gp

Huge golden crown 4000 gp  

Platinum and gold ankle bracelets (4) 2000 gp each

Badgerberries (20) d4+1 hp spoil in 30 days

Steaming Fresh Bull Stuff and that Irresistible Rhythm (Session 321)

SESSION 321: The Dreaming Caldera Pt.3: Stone Cold Crazy 

Carla and Bimbles recognized an imminent defeat and called for a tactical retreat into the pavilion and down the steps to hopefully get beyond the reach of the gigantic tyrannical trio….

 

Day 771 Continued(Underworld): And so, once more, they had descended into the lightless pit. Down ancient black stairs carved into the volcanic rock they were at a cross-roads. 

The dungeon was a seemingly natural cavern chambers made of seamless black volcanic glass. Too many 90 degree angles to occur naturally; its architecture defies conventional wisdom of construction. 12’ ceilings, no natural light sources. 

To the west were double-doors of iron-reinforced wood. 

The east offered a corridor and south was an archway that lead to a black glass bridge in a gapping chamber of acidic odour.

“I take the door, definitely the door”, was Bunny’s contribution.

“Perhaps after we check the corridor was Bimbles’s counter. 

The east end was dead.

They returned and were about to go to the door when they remembered the dead goblin up the stairs. Maybe he had loot. He did. An interesting gauntlet with three red fingers. Our gang were not afforded too much time to think about it as a very large and very angry demonic bull covered in thick armoured plates came to the crossroad from the bridge.

A gorgon, crap!                                            

It wasted no time blasting the first of two petrifying breath attacks upon our twits trapped on the steps. Remember there were three giant beings just outside the pavilion at the top of the stairwell. They showed their fortitude with the first blast but the second took its toll. Nara and Charles were now statues. After the second blast the hobos were able to maneuver around the demon-bull and get their chopping in. Dolec and Bimbles faced it head on as the rest of the gang worked the angles. They got it down without further calamity. The pay, after gutting, was not worth the gore and time two pitiful gems that may turn out to simply be kidney stones. If only we had a dwarf with us.

After grabbing a break they pressed on through the door to the east (after a quick picking). This revealed a corridor that lead to a series of ever increasingly hot staging rooms, filled with dopey folk that only responded to talk about the music. In the third and final chamber was the catalyst for a bit of a grand thrall melee. The Heckling was found here a bird-faced runt with a strangely hairy chest that he took some pride in.

 

He/it was busy posing, and looting, the mixed folk in this chamber he gave simple directions “Braaa wait your turns over there. I will get you stuff so enough. HeHe” to our lot not giving any real consideration. The dwarfy weirdo seemed to be prepping (stealing from) and then assigning tasks these slaves. Something structured was going on but our gang seem to drop clues like birds drop shit, falling never to be seen again every few minutes. The heckling eventually caught on and the jig was up. He sent his legion at our dorks. They slaughtered the sub-humans with abandon while subduing the humans for later interview. When the dust settled the only non-human still breathing in the chamber was Saff. This was to our Ribbit-Queen’s satisfaction. The saved humans could not offer much other than acknowledging that the Heckling had beguiled them and now they were here, wherever that is. They were directed to hunker down, “We will return for you after we have completed our heroic mission”, pledged Lester. 

“Works for us. Best of luck”.

Returning to the glossy black dungeon corridor the went further into another chamber the Pentagonal crossroads. 

Chittering goblin voices and the rhythmic “thunk” of a butcher knife are audible from outside the door. 

Four doors connect to a pentagon shaped-room with 60’ ceilings. Ichor- stained wagon tracks criss-cross the floor. Billowy deposits of white feathers accumulate in the corners. There were four goblinoids working away, huddled in a corner, hacking apart a pile of chickens, fastidiously separating the parts into discrete piles. They ignored our hobos but our sports have a zero tolerance for beastmen, well except Brett & Jermaine of course. 

Three doors to choose from. 

East.

Another corridor with two door along its path. 

They went long.

Welcome to the knackers. The chamber was absurdly hot and lead to a laddered landing in the acidic bridge chamber. Immense iron kettles gurgled over hot coal beds. The northern wall hosted an overstuffed shelf full of pots and jars with opaque, viscous fluids. A blood splattered cutting board and a wet pile of unidentifiable animal tissue cover a table along the southern wall. Four sooty bugbears stirred pots and hacked apart an orc corpse. They seemed to be rendering down their/ the (?) victims into a goo. They were killed with prejudice immediately. After a quick pan and scan Lester acted impulsively. The paladin threw down the Red Prophet’s homing rat. With a spark of mystical energy the dead thing sprung to life. The rat ran like a lightning bolt back down the corridor to the west. 

Folks ran after it. 

The rat wiggled under the unopened door. 

Our hobos followed.

Opening the door unleashed an oppressive wave of hot animal stench. Footfalls were muffled by inches of squishing, compacted filth. A vast chamber of gaping darkness; then surging suddenly into the light: a crashing wave of 1000 screaming chickens. 

A poultry wave rolled over the gang. Inter-mixed within the birds were a half-dozen 6’ tall prehistoric-like dire chickens. These things demanded flesh but not in a cannibal like way. Hobo flesh was on the menu. 

Game on.

Well sorta, they were still just chickens but from a time long forgotten.

The flock peeled through to points behind and the dire chickens met dire straits.

But!

“For crying out loud! Where is my rat!?!”, screamed out our normally stoic paladin.

 

 

The A-Team: Bunny, Carla, Bimbles, Saffron, Charles, Dolec Da, Nara & Lester

 

ROLECALL 

Carla the Green High Priestess of TMB (C10) 363590 xp +10% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            Scars: permanent loss left index finger and scarring on arm

Bimbles the High Priest of GSS (C10) 327825 xp +5% <400001> CRT 1d12/III

            +2 save to poison and internal body things; Double eat (gotta feed my baybay)

Bunny the Thief! (T10) 319435 xp <400001> +10% CRT 1d24/II

            Light wound: permanent loss of pinky finger, off hand

 

            The Henchmen

Saffron the Mad Fairy Queen of Ribbits (FY8*) 201739 xp <200001> CRT 1d10/III

            Moderate wound: Scar on abdomen

            Lasting injury: -1 STR, mashed guts

Nara the Nearly Naked Purple Swami Girl (PS7) 116268 xp +5% <125000> CRT 1d16/II

Wraith Drained: -1 CON

Charles in Charge the Myrmidon (F6) 89866 <120000> +10% CRT 1d20/IV

            Franz the Grave Return (Lawful; XXXX) Sword

Critical Wound: Punctured lung (-2 CON) 

            Mostly DEAD. (-1 CON)

Dolec Da the Hero (F7) 74855 xp +10% <120000> CRT 1d20/IV

            Missing five teeth

Lester Flanders the Guardian of Oceana (P6)  52155 xp <95000> +5% CRT 1d16/IV

 

RESERVES

Elapsed Campaign Time

743b days at beginning of session (Boris & Friends just outside of Liwil)

765a (Bunny Group Newville) Busy until 779

724d (Ding-We Gang Lake of Abominations/ Liwil)

 

Join us for session Three-Hundred-and-Twenty-Two when we ask the questions:

Is something going on down here?

Could we have been more…?

Which way did Lester’s rat go?

Did anyone see anything during the chicken frenzy?

Tale of the Tape

Nara and Charles sailed down the petrification river, see ya later!

KILLS

Angry Gorgon 

Orc

Orange Bugbear

Gnolls (3)

Skunk Goblins (4) 

Dire Chickens (6) 

Sooty Chef Bugbears (4)

LOOT

8 sp

Gems (2): small ruby 10 gp, flawed diamond 50 gp

Glove with three red fingers

Inscribed arrowhead 

The Hecklings not empty sack